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Rookie

Rookie Keeps Going Forward

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I had a kismet encounter at the dentist yesterday and thought of you! My hygienist just started riding this past year and was telling me all about her experiences with it, and what an incredible workout it is! I felt much more informed about everything she was telling me after having read your thread 😄

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1 hour ago, RedStone said:

I had a kismet encounter at the dentist yesterday and thought of you! My hygienist just started riding this past year and was telling me all about her experiences with it, and what an incredible workout it is! I felt much more informed about everything she was telling me after having read your thread 😄

I love this! 😊 

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Day 9 - Mindset 

How well are you responding to your horse, both in and out of the saddle? What area needs the most immediate attention when it comes to your aids?

I think I am making a far greater effort to respond better to my horse since last November. Before I would be more of a passenger and I didn't quite have a 50/50 mindset. As my body has been getting stronger I have been able to communicate better. Before I communicated like a toddler to my horse... loud, exaggerated and not so subtle cues. With better control of my body we have been having more adult two way conversations. I think right now the aids that need my most focus are my hand aids and my seat aids. My position has improved greatly but I am still learning how to keep these aids more subtle and controlled. And of course the more tired I get the louder they seem to get. My thoughts can also use some work. I need to practice to keep a calm thinking brain even when things get hairy. 

 

Day 10 mindset is basically a yes or no question... are you willing to put in the work with all you learnt the following weeks to become a better rider and work on controlling the things you can control (yourself). Which of course I am.

 

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3 hours ago, Rookie said:

As my body has been getting stronger I have been able to communicate better. Before I communicated like a toddler to my horse... loud, exaggerated and not so subtle cues. With better control of my body we have been having more adult two way conversations. I think right now the aids that need my most focus are my hand aids and my seat aids. My position has improved greatly but I am still learning how to keep these aids more subtle and controlled. And of course the more tired I get the louder they seem to get. My thoughts can also use some work. I need to practice to keep a calm thinking brain even when things get hairy. 

It's interesting, as I read this, I think about human interpersonal communication, and how much better communicators, and listeners, we'd all be if we had some guide like this to help us understand all the cues, verbal and NONverbal. This seems like an amazing experience for you that will translate to every area of your life. :)

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7 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Bit late.. but sorry for your loss. Hope everyone is doing well! Are you able to go to a funeral? 

Thanks. I appreciate that. So far everyone is doing well. It was sudden but we knew it would probably happen sooner than later. My work is amazing and basically said do what you gotta do. So yup .. I'll probably be able to leave early Wednesday for the wake if I need to and I can take as much time as I need Thursday. 

 

4 hours ago, J3NN said:

It's interesting, as I read this, I think about human interpersonal communication, and how much better communicators, and listeners, we'd all be if we had some guide like this to help us understand all the cues, verbal and NONverbal. This seems like an amazing experience for you that will translate to every area of your life. :)

 

That's a very cool way to think. I think the world just needs a bit more empathy. Actually I was watching a video about tips for D&D and the person said that generally people's go to in encounters with "monsters" was to fight them instead of attempting to communicate with them. Which I was like Hmm I feel that's in real life too. 

 

===

 

Thank you everyone for your words of support and love. I really appreciate it. This is probably my closest group of people aside from closest friends, my barn mates and coworkers. Honestly I don't think it's truly hit me yet and it probably won't until the wake and funeral. I really do not handle these things well at all and I've more or less been too calm.... So I know it's happening eventually. I've basically just been living in the Harry Potter books since Thursday and avoiding certain songs.

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I've been slowly falling off routine. Been slacking on water (though I'm still drinking at least 1L) but got my teeth flossed every day. I've not been eating the greatest necessarily or having slightly to big of portions so been feeling like poop. Part of it was not wanting to put effort in and the other was we had a nice little snow storm so I made comfort foods. 

 

My sleep has been horrible for probably a week or two (I don't sleep well when my body is sore) and I've been having trouble falling asleep. 

 

I think I either got my water mark today or got close. I prepped my lunch for tomorrow and Tuesday and made sure it has lots of veggies. I'm also now putting my phone away after this and attempting to sleep. This has been one hell of a start to 2020 but I'm still here and I'm still moving forward. 

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image.png.dce4dc660032f348ff05d20f555f3ec5.png

 

So for Week 3... 

- Start finance road map (Jan - Mar expenses)

- Survive Wake/Funeral (Wed, Thurs)

- Varnish doggo

- Start cow painting

- Try on new undergarments 

- Bonus: Take down Christmas garland

- Bonus: Return undergarments that don't fit 

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Oh I forgot I can now share the other Thursday news regarding my work. My place of employment got bought by a bigger company. My boss boss and boss promise that nothing will change and the new overlords are letting us keep our work culture and letting us operate as normal. So we shall see. We meet some of their tech department tomorrow.

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1 hour ago, Rookie said:

Oh I forgot I can now share the other Thursday news regarding my work. My place of employment got bought by a bigger company. My boss boss and boss promise that nothing will change and the new overlords are letting us keep our work culture and letting us operate as normal. So we shall see. We meet some of their tech department tomorrow.

I hope your boss and grandboss are correct about things not changing too much. 

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We were having an off night. Between the exhaustion and the I dont wanna and the freezing cold my instructor cancelled my lesson and said we would continue next week. I still had a really good ride once I got warmed up but I'm so tired and bleh. 

20200120_193049.thumb.jpg.ce14978e80729181294ba683d4f9207e.jpg

Daisy getting all cozy in her blankies getting ready to go back outside. 

 

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And my plans tonight are reading then going to bed early. 

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10 hours ago, Whisper said:

Sorry the lesson part didn't go well.

 

Happy you still got a good ride and can get some fun reading in.

 

Rest well.

Thats okay... the fact my ride was still good makes it fine. My body is so tired though. I am wondering if maybe I should try switching my lessons to Tuesday instead of Mondays because then at least I get a day to ride and get back into it before my lesson. 

 

1 hour ago, Bean Sidhe said:

*Hugs*

Totally understand what you have going on. Here if you need to talk.

Thank you Bean ❤️ -hug- I appreciate that.

 

==

Yesterday I worked on my finance road map a bit around lunch. It is not quite organized how I would like so I will keep working on it. 

 

Last night, I put my book away at 9:40 and tried to sleep cause exhausted. However, I couldn't get comfortable and rolled around a bunch. I think finally around 11-11:30 I finally fell asleep. 

 

Today we meet our new overlords and their tech department. Hopefully we will get a better idea what their vision for us is. It would be nice to hear from them that they don't want anything to change just like our bosses have already said. 

 

I am thinking I should book an appointment with my chiropractor or a massage therapist. My shoulders have been so tight and I think that might be part of the reason I haven't been able to sleep.

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Well two things are bugging me right now. 

 

1. Wake is tomorrow and I have no clue where my dress pants are.

 

2. New CEO and some other people from the new company came to the office to visit. They didn't even come in to say hi and introduce themselves :( which isn't a huge inconvenience when my company has less than 20 people and most of them are spread between 3 rooms. They did meet with the 4 sales/support guys though. I was hoping for some peace of mind by meeting them. 

 

Anywho back to looking for my dress pants. 

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9 hours ago, Rookie said:

2. New CEO and some other people from the new company came to the office to visit. They didn't even come in to say hi and introduce themselves :( which isn't a huge inconvenience when my company has less than 20 people and most of them are spread between 3 rooms. They did meet with the 4 sales/support guys though. I was hoping for some peace of mind by meeting them. 

I'm not sure this bodes well for the future... I hope they will see your team as a competent unit, instead of trying to bore you to death.

 

On 1/21/2020 at 2:52 AM, Rookie said:

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I guess you meant this sarcastically, but I think that having a relaxed night off once every while is definitely a grown-up thing to do. In the periods that life is hard, self-care is even more important. So I'd say that snuggling under a blanket with a cup of tea and a book is very adult here :).

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1 hour ago, Waanie said:

I'm not sure this bodes well for the future... I hope they will see your team as a competent unit, instead of trying to bore you to death.

See I kind of felt that too. Out of the people I asked if they thought that was normal or if they thought that would bug them... 2 said they didn't think it was a big deal.  But the majority agreed with me that it was odd. Especially when it would of been so easy for them to at least say Hi and do a brief introduction. I felt that some were just being agreeable though and didn't really have an opinion on the matter. 

 

1 hour ago, Waanie said:

I guess you meant this sarcastically, but I think that having a relaxed night off once every while is definitely a grown-up thing to do. In the periods that life is hard, self-care is even more important. So I'd say that snuggling under a blanket with a cup of tea and a book is very adult here :).

Haha yes a bit sarcastically. It seems like that is all I have been wanting to do when I get home.. Curl up with the dogs and escape to my Harry Potter world. Though last night was a bit hard for me spurred on by not being able to find my dress pants.

 

=== 

 

Last night everything kind of started hitting me at once and I feel quite overwhelmed. I was bothered by the CEO thing and our place in the company, then I couldn't find dress pants for the Wake tonight and it was too late to go out and get some. I had a good cry and was trying to get Poncho to snuggle with me but I guess he was too comfortable because he didn't even make grumbly noises when I smothered him or maybe he liked getting aggressively nuzzled for once (usually hes the one invading my space and aggressively nuzzling me). I eventually calmed down and looked up places I could possibly go near my work to look and I found a plus sized store about a 10 min drive each way. I tried going to bed early but didn't fall asleep until a few hours later again but I think I am getting used to a lack of sleep because I felt more aware this morning despite getting up an hour earlier. 

 

So worst case scenario I am going to wear my black jeggings with my blouse to the Wake tonight but I am going to go at lunch and look for dress pants and maybe some tights  (I brought a pencil skirt as well just in case). I was thinking about wearing my pencil skirt with a nice blouse to the Funeral on Thursday because together it would look like a simple black dress but then my mom told me we have to take part in the mass and bring the 'gifts' down the aisle to the priest and that involves a genuflect (lowering your knee to the ground) and that wouldn't be happening in a pencil skirt. My BF comforted me last night and told me to not worry about the work issues for now...lets just get through the family stuff and if I am still bothered by the weekend by work we will go through stuff together.

 

This morning since I had extra time while my BF was getting ready I tried on the bras and decided I would keep 2 out of the 4 and since I am going to that store today I will hopefully be able to return them and then I can cross that off my list.

 

Image result for give me strength when i'm standing and faith when i fall

This is from one of my favourite songs. I know things aren't that bad right now but I am feeling overwhelmed none the less. 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Rookie said:

My BF comforted me last night and told me to not worry about the work issues for now...lets just get through the family stuff and if I am still bothered by the weekend by work we will go through stuff together.

I'm happy that BF is being supportive. I think he's right about focusing on the family stuff now and letting work sit for a bit. 

 

I hope you're able to find something that you like at the stores. I had to google "pencil skirt" and all I can say is that while I'm sure it would like nice, girl clothes are damn impractical. 

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I'm sorry for your loss and the stress at work.

 

I hope you're able to find something on your lunch break, but your back-up options sound good, too.

 

I'm glad you're taking comfort time, too. That's a good idea.

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4 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

Maybe they only visited with the sales/support guys because that's where they feel changes need to be made.

My boss came and talked to us. He said they planned to but ran out of time. They only briefly talked to the support guys so they could kind of explain what they do (our support guys). We might be merging our software into theirs but that won't be for awhile. There is still a lot of stuff to figure out. I will need to learn React (programming thing) which is fine and I was planning on doing it anyways because it is something I should at least be familiar with. 

 

4 hours ago, Whisper said:

I'm happy that BF is being supportive. I think he's right about focusing on the family stuff now and letting work sit for a bit. 

Me too. He has really helped with this.

 

3 hours ago, bdwilson said:

I'm sorry for your loss and the stress at work.

Thank you ❤️

 

4 hours ago, Whisper said:

I hope you're able to find something that you like at the stores. I had to google "pencil skirt" and all I can say is that while I'm sure it would like nice, girl clothes are damn impractical. 

3 hours ago, bdwilson said:

I hope you're able to find something on your lunch break, but your back-up options sound good, too.

 

Lol Whisper... you have no idea. Nowadays unless it is jeans you are lucky if your pants have pockets... or pockets that are big enough to be functional. 

 

At store A they only had 1 type of dress pant in black or grey. So I got the black ones .. tried them on and they just were not flattering at all and with a price tag of $50 I was not going to get them. I returned the bras (yay check that off my list) and got some tights just in case I am skirting it tomorrow.

 

Went to good ol' Walmart because I needed to get bed sheets anyways because ours got a tear. Holy smokes guys.. bedsheets are so much money. They had a set for $100...I am guessing they were that much because they were 500 thread count (I didn't think that was amazing but what do I know). I found a value pack which is a bit rough feeling but it was 2 sets for $54 ...sold. They only had 1 pair of dress pants but they were either a size too small or 2 sizes too big. I instead bought 2 more pairs of jeggings :) Because they aren't defective like my current pair which they seemed to have forgot to add the stretchy soft material to. 😕 Anywho that was my lunch time adventure. I thought of 1 area where my dress pants might be... they might be in my bag I brought to the trade show. But that isn't good for tonight, so tonight I shall be cozy in my jeggings. I think it will be okay because I brought nice shoes to wear with them.  

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21 hours ago, Rookie said:

Holy smokes guys.. bedsheets are so much money. They had a set for $100...I am guessing they were that much because they were 500 thread count (I didn't think that was amazing but what do I know). I found a value pack which is a bit rough feeling but it was 2 sets for $54 ...sold.

 

No kidding! The last time I bought sheets it was because they were on sale. I'm hoping they'll last a while. The value pack is great 😃

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