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Athena

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4 hours ago, analoggirl said:

However, here I am again with the feeling of dread towards working on my thesis. Letting that dread sap away my energy, while I could be working.

 

I'm sorry. :( I've had that happen to me too. I try to take the emotion out of it though and try not to think about who might be reading or judging my work later and just focus on the work itself, like it's in its own little bubble, if that makes sense. Like tricking your brain into doing what you want it to. Not sure if that will help you?

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3 hours ago, Jupiter said:

 

I'm sorry. :( I've had that happen to me too. I try to take the emotion out of it though and try not to think about who might be reading or judging my work later and just focus on the work itself, like it's in its own little bubble, if that makes sense. Like tricking your brain into doing what you want it to. Not sure if that will help you?

 

Funny thing, I went to a really nice library today (that I live quite a distance away from)

 

After I got that load off my chest, I actually managed to get into the "flow bubble" and worked about 3? hours straight without a problem. Small steps.

Then it was time to get some nutrition & drink some coffee. It took longer than I thought to find the place where I wanted to get my food. Oh well, I went back to where I had left my books... HOWEVER! I started reading my book and my focus bubble appared around me while doing that.

I was completely into the story. Another chapter, another! And so, it was time to get my dinner before leaving for the train...

 

Oh well. It's been about 4 hours since I stopped working. I have about 1,5 hours to "kill" still. I'm going to go ahead and use it to read another article.

 

 

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5 hours ago, analoggirl said:

After I got that load off my chest, I actually managed to get into the "flow bubble" and worked about 3? hours straight without a problem. Small steps.

 

Nice! :) 

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17 hours ago, analoggirl said:

I have been trying! I was really-really angry at myself at that time for, among other things, being passive in life. :D

Loooots of anger there. I think it might be a good thing to get angry/dissatisfied with/rebellious against my current way of doing things

Just not sure how to do it in that way "way back when".

 

I tried to bite on the fact that my nerves got me to have a chaotic mind during my presentation in December again, so much that one of the two 

professors grading it found it necessary to write out  on the feedback paper - as a reason why I got a full mark lower than my group member - that I "do not find my words easily" and "the core of my message was not clear".

 

The funny thing is, that I actually felt like I had finally found someone that I can relate to, since we made similar sentence structure mistakes caused by nerves.

 

(I am glad for her higher grade, of course. She is sympathetic & really came through when she was sick during test week and still did her share of the work on our assignment.)

 

I need to get angry, because I could have prepared better. We don't get a lot of presentations in our studies, and WHEN we do I really need to use those to practice.

 

However, here I am again with the feeling of dread towards working on my thesis. Letting that dread sap away my energy, while I could be working.

Hmm... So you can't go back to the way you were before, to me that sounds like this is a sign that you shouldn't then. Instead of trying to go back, pick apart what you learned from your Drill Instructor phase, and make a new one? So instead do the Random mode that I suggested earlier. since you cannot revert back to how it was before, all you can do now is move forward and do something new!

 

I'm sorry that you have a hard time with your chaotic mind. I know I have read and reread my papers before I'm satisfied before turning it in. 

 

Hey, relax, These are just feelings, there's nothing in the rulebook that says that you have to completely abide by every single feeling that you feel. Emotions are Energy in Motion, and ultimately it is your Energy that is being used, so because it is coming from you, then you have complete control over it. 

 

17 hours ago, analoggirl said:

:D Nah, I have no such illusions haha.

 

Sometimes I might get them, but I've had my fair share of life-changing unforeseen circumstances.

 

My challenge is - on the contrary - overcoming the idea that "well, life changes anyway. Why should I waste energy trying to give it direction and form? Why invest in getting a place, building relationships, when I don't know what will happen in 1 month, year, 5 years? I don't know what the state of the economy will be, the state of my health and/or my family's health will be, the state of politics will be, what I will want to do in the future, who I will become, who the people around me will become?"

 

& convincing myself that I do have a great deal of control over my life. 8-) And so what, if shit happens? I've gotta do something with this time I have been given right? Why not do things that I find challenging, that I enjoy, and connect with people?

 

I know, I know, bla bla bla amateur philosophy, those are excuses, don't think so much. 😛 

OK good! Maybe that's why you are on this challenge, to make something valuable out of all of the nonsense in the world/life/universe. In reality, you are right, why do anything if 1,000 years from now, we are all dust? And the Answer is that: Because we are finite beings in the grand cosmos that everything we touch becomes special, It becomes limited edition because we will no longer grace it with our presences. You are the only you that will ever grace the universe with your laughter, your tears, your triumphs, your defeats. No one else will ever come close to who you are. And if you ask me, that's all the more reason to reach into the void and pull out something worthwhile.

 

As you can see, you're not the only amateur philosopher :P

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Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel

My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos
Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14

Goals for 2021:

Spoiler
  • Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp
  • Learn how to do a Handstand
  • Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar
  • Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized)
  • Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine
  • Build a shelving unit next to my Desk

"No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing."

"When you stand with your family, your family stands with you."

"Write what needs to be written."

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6 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Hey, relax, These are just feelings, there's nothing in the rulebook that says that you have to completely abide by every single feeling that you feel. Emotions are Energy in Motion, and ultimately it is your Energy that is being used, so because it is coming from you, then you have complete control over it. 

 

Once I read something about how emotions and feelings were different "things' but I do not remember why that was something relevant or practical.

I agree though. with what you said. 

 

I mean, some people have chronic chemical imbalances that make that a less 'controllable' thing. 

And as humans, we also sometimes have factors that make us more susceptible to emotional "states"

Even the basic physical/mental/emotional fatigue of daily life, but then there's also outward circumstances that affect you unknowingly - frustration that has spread into the office

Lack of light, extreme warmth or cold etc. etc.

 

But yeah, I do "start" at the assumption that I am - at all times - in control of my feelings & emotions. I'm the driver, and maybe I sometimes get distracted or fall asleep on the wheel, but I am the driver :D

 

6 hours ago, Red1263 said:

I'm sorry that you have a hard time with your chaotic mind. I know I have read and reread my papers before I'm satisfied before turning it in. 

 

Yeah, so, my ego is telling me I have to get this off of my chest. Thanks for listening in advance.

 

The paper assignment was a joint grade, the presentation was separately graded.

My fellow student really had no idea what to do with the assignment. This is a compulsory subject for this degree, and she is not a big fan of corporate law-related stuff.

 

I do enjoy corporate law, AND this was stuff that required you to assess the policy of a firm that cared for people's finances. Is it in accordance with the Supervisory Organ's global instructions for such firms? That is something most law students have a hard time with. Even budding corporate law students.

 

I just am lucky that in most of my life I've been quite interested in economics "and stuff", even in high school.

Only on a shallow-ish level, but judging by the interest the corporate law professors had in what I had to say (when I was on top of my uni work) I do have a relative knack for it.

 

So, in general, on paper I am pretty strong with getting to the heart of a problem.

Granted, with a bit of some detours, but that's just a matter of redactions. Which you can do, ON PAPER. When you have time to think.

 

What you see on NF = mostly me going flow-of-conciousness style though. Sorry for that. Wish I had the patience to make it all overseeable.

 

I can also express myself just fine, on paper.

My method is: first I get all of the floathing ideas I have, (which are a lot when I am interested in something)

and usually, once they are arranged properly, they are the right ideas. Just... messy in the beginning. And with lots of tangents.

Then I formulate & redact everything. (Oh and find the right sources. Empirical integrity FTW.)

 

So, over time, I've gotten pretty good at doing that for presentations as well. 

Except, for a long time, I did not practice a lot. (Did not give myself time to practice a lot, wrote the presentations too late.)

And although I knew exactly what the presentation should sound like, if I don't practice it will be frazzled.

 

Because 1) I have a lot I want to say if I don't control myself,  and often in the wrong order "BECAUSE OMG THIS ONE THING IS SO INTERESTING I WANT TO SAY IT BEFOR EI FORGET IT!"

 and 2) my public speaking nerves are OK-ish nowadays, but I started out improving them at 17 blacking out with tunnel vision and being a blabbering mass in front of the class for Literature & Grammar studies.

 

Then - a little less time ago - I also started practicing properly. And if I say so myself, I'm pretty good when I take the time for it. 

PS - I have actually caught myself that I'm not as much as a slow poke as I thought I was. Proper preparation just takes time, I'm just often impatient with myself & am quick to judge myself that I'm just bad and slow at everything. And get distracted easily when the planets do not align (exaggerating now).

 

with one big BUT - my public speaking nerves still sometimes hit me in the gut. (A few months ago I hwas prepared and everything, had a presentation for this association I am a member of, I had prepared and everything but when it was time to do a more free-form type thing, my nerves got the best of me.)

 

YEAH, my filter is a bit off now. (By now, for a while actually. Thank you to anyone reading all of my messy contemplations.) 

 

alright. time to get my environment proper for studies. 

I came home late last night because of train problems & had a hard time starting up the ole' engine today because of that.

 

Think I forgot to stretch most of the last 7 days... hmmm. Have to get back at it today! :)

 

 

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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You know what will make me feel good? Kicking next period's derriere.

 

giphy.gif

 

Next period will consist of both ALL THE TAX LAW & regular assignments (besides the end assignment, I'm sure) and if I'm not completely run down, that's really good for my time management.

 

For short periods of time, and with lots of conditions I will not bother to write out because this sounds cooler,* I really enjoy a nice challenging and busy time. 

 

*And allows me to use above GIF.

 

Of course, that's easier to say now since it's Future Me's work I'm talking about.

 

Anyway. Just wanted to check in again. I did my stretch yesterday evening & this morning to wake up.

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On 1/16/2020 at 2:46 AM, analoggirl said:

Once I read something about how emotions and feelings were different "things' but I do not remember why that was something relevant or practical.

I agree though. with what you said. 

 

I mean, some people have chronic chemical imbalances that make that a less 'controllable' thing. 

And as humans, we also sometimes have factors that make us more susceptible to emotional "states"

Even the basic physical/mental/emotional fatigue of daily life, but then there's also outward circumstances that affect you unknowingly - frustration that has spread into the office

Lack of light, extreme warmth or cold etc. etc.

 

But yeah, I do "start" at the assumption that I am - at all times - in control of my feelings & emotions. I'm the driver, and maybe I sometimes get distracted or fall asleep on the wheel, but I am the driver :D

That's the spirit! Once you realize that you don't have any control of anything beyond your own literal reach, then everything within your reach (and therefore, internally -- to an extent) is under your control. But this is where doing something small/simple that brings you happiness comes into play, like hiking. The small choices you make to get you there and causes that rush of dopamine naturally, and suddenly you feel better about yourself, overall because you worked for that rush, it didn't come because you took anything.

 

I recall a saying that goes something like, "Happiness is shallow but Joy is internal" And I've used this as a basis between feelings and emotions. Joy is felt much deeper than happiness, which is somewhat fleeting.

 

On 1/16/2020 at 2:46 AM, analoggirl said:

Yeah, so, my ego is telling me I have to get this off of my chest. Thanks for listening in advance.

 

The paper assignment was a joint grade, the presentation was separately graded.

My fellow student really had no idea what to do with the assignment. This is a compulsory subject for this degree, and she is not a big fan of corporate law-related stuff.

 

I do enjoy corporate law, AND this was stuff that required you to assess the policy of a firm that cared for people's finances. Is it in accordance with the Supervisory Organ's global instructions for such firms? That is something most law students have a hard time with. Even budding corporate law students.

 

I just am lucky that in most of my life I've been quite interested in economics "and stuff", even in high school.

Only on a shallow-ish level, but judging by the interest the corporate law professors had in what I had to say (when I was on top of my uni work) I do have a relative knack for it.

 

So, in general, on paper I am pretty strong with getting to the heart of a problem.

Granted, with a bit of some detours, but that's just a matter of redactions. Which you can do, ON PAPER. When you have time to think.

 

What you see on NF = mostly me going flow-of-conciousness style though. Sorry for that. Wish I had the patience to make it all overseeable.

 

I can also express myself just fine, on paper.

My method is: first I get all of the floathing ideas I have, (which are a lot when I am interested in something)

and usually, once they are arranged properly, they are the right ideas. Just... messy in the beginning. And with lots of tangents.

Then I formulate & redact everything. (Oh and find the right sources. Empirical integrity FTW.)

 

So, over time, I've gotten pretty good at doing that for presentations as well. 

Except, for a long time, I did not practice a lot. (Did not give myself time to practice a lot, wrote the presentations too late.)

And although I knew exactly what the presentation should sound like, if I don't practice it will be frazzled.

 

Because 1) I have a lot I want to say if I don't control myself,  and often in the wrong order "BECAUSE OMG THIS ONE THING IS SO INTERESTING I WANT TO SAY IT BEFOR EI FORGET IT!"

 and 2) my public speaking nerves are OK-ish nowadays, but I started out improving them at 17 blacking out with tunnel vision and being a blabbering mass in front of the class for Literature & Grammar studies.

 

Then - a little less time ago - I also started practicing properly. And if I say so myself, I'm pretty good when I take the time for it. 

PS - I have actually caught myself that I'm not as much as a slow poke as I thought I was. Proper preparation just takes time, I'm just often impatient with myself & am quick to judge myself that I'm just bad and slow at everything. And get distracted easily when the planets do not align (exaggerating now).

 

with one big BUT - my public speaking nerves still sometimes hit me in the gut. (A few months ago I hwas prepared and everything, had a presentation for this association I am a member of, I had prepared and everything but when it was time to do a more free-form type thing, my nerves got the best of me.)

 

YEAH, my filter is a bit off now. (By now, for a while actually. Thank you to anyone reading all of my messy contemplations.) 

 

alright. time to get my environment proper for studies. 

I came home late last night because of train problems & had a hard time starting up the ole' engine today because of that.

 

Think I forgot to stretch most of the last 7 days... hmmm. Have to get back at it today! :)

What your spiel basically said to me was, "I'm just like the majority of people who speak in public."

 

Practicing before anything is one of the ways to calm those nerves, and even then you're not going to knock every speech out of the park 100% of the time. These feelings are perfectly normal, because everyone gets nervous when they have to 'present' something, from speeches to demonstrations to meeting new people. Practicing beforehand because you get nervous about things is something we all get.

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Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel

My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos
Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14

Goals for 2021:

Spoiler
  • Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp
  • Learn how to do a Handstand
  • Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar
  • Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized)
  • Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine
  • Build a shelving unit next to my Desk

"No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing."

"When you stand with your family, your family stands with you."

"Write what needs to be written."

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On 1/18/2020 at 10:23 PM, Red1263 said:

What your spiel basically said to me was, "I'm just like the majority of people who speak in public."

Yeah, definitely agree with this.

 

My "problem" is that most people NOTICE it even when I am mildly anxious, since I have learnt three languages from age 0 to 10 and until this day practice all of them regularly. 

Now, I know there are many polyglots in this world that constantly switch just fine but I am still getting the hang of switching off the other 2 languages when I have to perform "excellently" on the level of a native-speaker-who-knows-only 1 language perfectly & speaks one or 2 on a secondary level.

 

I have read there are training techniques but I still have to write down a few I can practice regularly. Which I really should, cause you know. The word is my sword and all that.

 

Now, when I get nervous, grammar rules & words in different languages compete to get into my mind at the same time and ultimately leave me wishing there was a pause button and a back space so I can correct my mistakes, bc I usually know what I said wrong after the words leave my mouth. 

 

What I'm doing is similar to practicing multiple martial arts irregularly and complaining I cannot compete with people that have trained mainly 1 martial art their whole lives, have relatives that do that same martial art, and only once a month practice another one as a hobby. :D

 

Yeah, and sometimes I'm just dealing with not being able to priotitise and structure my thoughts.

 

The amount of spoons I have on a day really does not agree with the amount of interests I have & skills I have to train.

 

Priorities? What are those?

 

Anyway, this all sounds worse than it is.

 

Really need to stop doing this to myself. There are so many people that spout BS but get far in life bc they keep a confident and calm demeanor.

 

What if I learnt to plan life so I have time to practice, relax & gave my brain space to use its structuring capabilities? Because, I write pretty good essays, so obviously I do HAVE the skill to structure thoughts in a clear & convincing matter.

 

 Why, I'd be unstoppable :D Not to mention that I've given a couple of killer presentations even, so like. I've even got proof that I CAN get myself to that level. Why would I not be able to do it nearly-all-of-the-time instead of just occasioanally? It's just a matter of preparing and DOING THE STUFF.

 

Almost time for my evening stretches!

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Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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4 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Why, I'd be unstoppable :D Not to mention that I've given a couple of killer presentations even, so like. I've even got proof that I CAN get myself to that level. Why would I not be able to do it nearly-all-of-the-time instead of just occasioanally? It's just a matter of preparing and DOING THE STUFF.

 

Image result for hell yeah gifs

 

You got this! :) 

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Wow. that was a lot to process! I'm glad to see that you've REALLY thought about this.

 

one, I didn't know you were a polyglot, my apologies, I thought you were just suffering from stage fright in one language.

 

Hmm... What you need is a kind of methods to get your mindset to stay in a particular language until you've released yourself...

 

Saying it out loud, I don't think such a thing exists. Maybe it'd be like an actor getting into character.

 

In either case, I really do hope you grasp something to help you conquer the world.

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Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel

My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos
Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14

Goals for 2021:

Spoiler
  • Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp
  • Learn how to do a Handstand
  • Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar
  • Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized)
  • Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine
  • Build a shelving unit next to my Desk

"No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing."

"When you stand with your family, your family stands with you."

"Write what needs to be written."

Link to post
4 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Hmm... What you need is a kind of methods to get your mindset to stay in a particular language until you've released yourself...

 

Saying it out loud, I don't think such a thing exists. Maybe it'd be like an actor getting into character.

 

You know, I don't think you're far from the truth, actually. If we're philosophising here anyway, I've read about people in the online language learning community that they really do feel like they are tapping into a different personality when speaking. You know, because every language develops in the context of the culture of people that use it.

 

Then there's the person's associations with the languages (s)he's learning. I have a very positive association with using, hearing and speaking English because it's how I have access to online communities where I have found many more people that resonate with me than where I live, most of the mediums I use in my free time (interesting articles on various topics,  books & films) are in English, AND most English speakers are usually far less "critical" of me getting every single rule right.

 

You regularly get praised for getting English spelling right (something I believe I have a good feeling for) AND the vocabulary is very large, and constantly evolves due to the language being used by SO many people.

 

I even get a different tone of voice (if I don't pay attention to it) depending on which language I am speaking. :D & it's much easier to articulate well in once language than the other, depending on your vocal chords/first language you started speaking when you were an infant etc.

 

Yeah, I've thought a fair bit about it :D

 

So, it might not be a bad idea, to envision like I'm getting in character. 

 

Alas,  all methods stand or fall with how much I have kept myself healthy, have shaken off any excess nerves & have kept a clear view of my priorities 

 

But again, I'm pretty sure I'd get bored if I was not pursuing all of these things. When I'm not beating myself up & when life does not get in the way, it's all pretty fun.

 

Just... Mustn't lose sight of the bigger picture

 

Thanks for reading 

 

The fun thing for tonight is... To get out my pens and try them all! See which one I want to use next term.

 

For the beginner & advanced bachelor level tax law subjects I had to write down quite a few calculations and figuring out how to write them down in Word & excel just... Takes too long to get used to

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STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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15 hours ago, analoggirl said:

I've read about people in the online language learning community that they really do feel like they are tapping into a different personality when speaking.

This is true for me. My personality changes somewhat depending on what language I am speaking, especially for Japanese

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I see this:

17 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Yeah, I've thought a fair bit about it :D

and this:

 

Conflicting with this:

17 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Just... Mustn't lose sight of the bigger picture

 

In either case, I think the idea of 'getting into character' would probably be your best bet. In English, you're Analoggirl (Base), in another language you're Analoggirl (the Confident BA that puts fear in the hearts of the people around her) and so on.

 

If nothing else, it's worth a try. Just don't forget that everyone in every language is seeing you for the first time (for the most part) So that gives you a window of opportunity as to how you want them to see you.

Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel

My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos
Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14

Goals for 2021:

Spoiler
  • Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp
  • Learn how to do a Handstand
  • Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar
  • Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized)
  • Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine
  • Build a shelving unit next to my Desk

"No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing."

"When you stand with your family, your family stands with you."

"Write what needs to be written."

Link to post
15 hours ago, Red1263 said:

I see this:

and this:

 

Conflicting with this:

 

Whatever you wanted to quote under "and this" did not come along in your post :) I'm interested to see what it was!

 

Also wondering how "having thought through something a fair bit" (i.e. by definition in the past) conflicts with "not losing sight of the bigger picture" (something that can happen at any moment, while your thought-through theory or plan is  not among your current "open tabs")

 

I assume you mean that as "relax, if you've thought it through you'll be alright with the 'not losing sight of the big picture' business" 

And to that I say, Cheers!

 

I try to go with the optimistically realistic view when I can! 

 

15 hours ago, Red1263 said:

 

In either case, I think the idea of 'getting into character' would probably be your best bet. In English, you're Analoggirl (Base), in another language you're Analoggirl (the Confident BA that puts fear in the hearts of the people around her) and so on.

 

Agreed 


(the Confident BA that puts fear in the hearts of the people around her) = hahaaaa  I like the idea. 

 

15 hours ago, Red1263 said:

 

If nothing else, it's worth a try. Just don't forget that everyone in every language is seeing you for the first time (for the most part) So that gives you a window of opportunity as to how you want them to see you.

 

Ha, yeah, recently I was thinking about how that a "first impression" is formed in the first 30 seconds. 

Then quickly decided I should not start analysing THAT because it's a rabbit hole.

 

(I . like to think that - with a couple of exceptions - I do pretty well with challenging any ungrounded impressions I have made. )

 

Buuut definitely worth a try & I am sure I will make the most of that window of opportunity in any language. And if I have a bad day, well that's that.

The clock is ticking and it's really really REALLY irrational to dwell on stuff we cannot change, thereby wasting the now.

 

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Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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Sooo, yesterday I had a nice warm bath instead of the pen trials, but I wrote the doodling and trying out pens as an idea to do as relaxation/mindfulness.

 

I'd like to mention that I am drinking my H2O pretty consistently & going with my flow when I catch it.

Aaaand confess that my breakfast these past few days consisted of waffers with chocolate & coffe & glasses of milk. And lots of snacks today. But I had my dinner, was done at 7 PMish & now I will just have maybe citrus fruit, paprika & water.

 

Part of me wants to make revision timetables but I really think making timetables will work better for next period since... My time will be dictated by my travelling + every other week assignment deadlines.

 

Note to self: gotta remember to schedule taking care of myself/house/nap opportunities too.

 

I simply get a tinge of pre-disappointment in myself when I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to stick with the timetables.

Although WHEN they work, it feels really good. Like sticking to your budget. But alas, right now they will hurt me more than their pretty color-coded selves will bring me joy.

 

Just going to continue working with my to-do list & starring my most important tasks. And not letting go of my flow when I got it! 

 

Alsooo, stretched last night and this evening will be no different. Go team!

 

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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9 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Whatever you wanted to quote under "and this" did not come along in your post :) I'm interested to see what it was!

 

Also wondering how "having thought through something a fair bit" (i.e. by definition in the past) conflicts with "not losing sight of the bigger picture" (something that can happen at any moment, while your thought-through theory or plan is  not among your current "open tabs")

 

I assume you mean that as "relax, if you've thought it through you'll be alright with the 'not losing sight of the big picture' business" 

And to that I say, Cheers!

 

I try to go with the optimistically realistic view when I can! 

Oh my bad, I meant when you said "Yeah, I've thought a fair bit about it :D" and "When I'm not beating myself up & when life does not get in the way, it's all pretty fun" that you were conflicting with your efforts to "Just... Mustn't lose sight of the bigger picture" But despite that not successfully translating over, you still got the meaning that I've bolded. So... yeah, Task failed successfully! You didn't see what I quoted, but still got the meaning! 😋

 

9 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Buuut definitely worth a try & I am sure I will make the most of that window of opportunity in any language. And if I have a bad day, well that's that.

The clock is ticking and it's really really REALLY irrational to dwell on stuff we cannot change, thereby wasting the now.

Exactly, you can only do what you can with what you've got, and sometimes you get a bad situation and cutting your losses is the only choice. That doesn't mean that you won't come out on top afterwards!

Yes! This! Which is why it has always been my philosophy to always keep moving forward and not look back at my mistakes, except to learn from them!

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Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel

My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos
Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14

Goals for 2021:

Spoiler
  • Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp
  • Learn how to do a Handstand
  • Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar
  • Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized)
  • Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine
  • Build a shelving unit next to my Desk

"No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing."

"When you stand with your family, your family stands with you."

"Write what needs to be written."

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19 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Just going to continue working with my to-do list & starring my most important tasks. And not letting go of my flow when I got it! 

👍

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Raptron, alot assassin

67666564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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21 hours ago, analoggirl said:

I simply get a tinge of pre-disappointment in myself when I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to stick with the timetables.

Although WHEN they work, it feels really good. Like sticking to your budget. But alas, right now they will hurt me more than their pretty color-coded selves will bring me joy.

 

fb193c64f0c6fe201b83ae92edbe4e8f.jpg

 

Is this something you would consider worth re-conditioning yourself on? When you feel that tickle of pre-disappointment, consider it an opportunity to practice dealing with things on the fly, or something to that effect? 

 

On 1/21/2020 at 2:15 PM, analoggirl said:

Now, I know there are many polyglots in this world that constantly switch just fine but I am still getting the hang of switching off the other 2 languages when I have to perform "excellently" on the level of a native-speaker-who-knows-only 1 language perfectly & speaks one or 2 on a secondary level.

 

I feel like there are way more polyglots who do NOT constantly switch just fine. :) Seconding @WhiteGhost on the personality switches, too. I did ok with two languages, but when I added the third, 10 years ago, things got wonky. Perhaps because if you don't remember a word and only speak one language, you'll search for a bit, then give up and use a synonym. If you don't remember a word and speak multiple languages, your search for it is hampered by the other languages screaming their word for it in your mental ear. Or maybe that's just me. :) 

 

Grats on the successes in the water/ stretching goals. Good progress there. 

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Manarelle the Level 56 Amazon Assassin

Challenges: 1-1011-2021-3031-4041-50, 51-60, Current

 

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13 minutes ago, Manarelle said:

I did ok with two languages, but when I added the third, 10 years ago, things got wonky. Perhaps because if you don't remember a word and only speak one language, you'll search for a bit, then give up and use a synonym. If you don't remember a word and speak multiple languages, your search for it is hampered by the other languages screaming their word for it in your mental ear. Or maybe that's just me. :) 

Definitely not just you.  Once I got to a third language, as soon as I get stuck on a word, stupid brain jumps in and screams "OH HEY, HERE'S A FOREIGN WORD THAT MEANS WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY, USE THIS ONE" 🙄

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HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY

Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28Mardi Gras [Current]

Level 2 Ninja

Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11

 

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3 hours ago, Manarelle said:

I feel like there are way more polyglots who do NOT constantly switch just fine. :) Seconding @WhiteGhost on the personality switches, too. I did ok with two languages, but when I added the third, 10 years ago, things got wonky. Perhaps because if you don't remember a word and only speak one language, you'll search for a bit, then give up and use a synonym. If you don't remember a word and speak multiple languages, your search for it is hampered by the other languages screaming their word for it in your mental ear. Or maybe that's just me. :) 

 

2 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Definitely not just you.  Once I got to a third language, as soon as I get stuck on a word, stupid brain jumps in and screams "OH HEY, HERE'S A FOREIGN WORD THAT MEANS WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY, USE THIS ONE" 🙄

 

You guys are making me teary-eyed with recognition (I'm also generally an excitable person, especially with language stuff, so don't mind me haha)

 

Seriously, when (I think I already talked about said prof in this thread or another) one professor for the umpteenth time implied, well actually then it was said quite literally, that I am NOT good at the language I want to practice law in, and was not convinced that it was because of my nerves,

 

I wanted to retort with "Oh yeah? Are we really going to argue with your shitty attitude that only BARELY speaks English with a heavy accent, translating words LITERALLY from her mother language when she is supposed to be working at an INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL?

 

and has probably NEVER had to deal with this type of problems, because she has mostly worked in the region she was born in?

 

Are we REALLY going to argue the reasons I mess up my wordings? Are YOU going to tell me whether I am capable of achieving what I have overcome so many obstacles to achieve,

 

or am I a bit more qualified, since I have a vast broader experience and have interracted with much more variable people WHILE having a mind that is OPEN to other views, unlike you?"

 

But instead I bit all that stuff back, straightened my shoulders and thanked her for her "feedback". 

 

When I got home, I remembered how bad she had made me feel the first time she said she could not understand me, and how bad that made me feel.

 

I mean, she's really-really good at what SHE has chosen to do, and I respect what she has done, and her experience,

 

But the feedback she's given me was NEVER constructive, although its worth was in opening my eyes that I do have to articulate better & 

made me aware of how BAD my articulation used to be when I was nervous,

 

And then it dawned upon me that she had NO qualification, NO background, NOTHING to justify me believing her words and doubting myself as much as I did.

 

Yes, I needed that criticism. Definitely. It made me more self-aware, it gave me self-knowledge that all the NICE "politically correct" people

did NOT give me,

 

but goodness... This is where that one quote is really, really true:

 

Eleanor-Roosevelt-quotes-No-one-can-make

 

 

PS - I do think that after me holding my ground, not resorting to victim mentality, and also even teasing her with straight shoulders about her harshness, 

did earn me her respect towards me. (I think many students, even other profs do not know how to deal with a person like her when she is in her "critique mode". 

But although I was very anxious & insecure and upset, I am capable of "intuititing" a fair bit about how to deal with different types of people. )

 

PPS - Really looking forward to learning how to work with my chemistry / breathing etc. because I do feel like those interractions benefited myself but also her .

 

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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3 hours ago, Manarelle said:

fb193c64f0c6fe201b83ae92edbe4e8f.jpg

 

Is this something you would consider worth re-conditioning yourself on? When you feel that tickle of pre-disappointment, consider it an opportunity to practice dealing with things on the fly, or something to that effect? 

 

Oh yes. I was actually going there & have improved on that but... I think this is not the time to really focus on it.

 

(Like, when I don't have set time tables and have to discipline myself to adhere to a time table, AND then deal with things on the fly... I really want to learn how to be able to make that sort of thing work, holding myself accountable without holding it AGAINST me when there AREN'T things to rush to and keep my mind distracted from my thoughts.)

 

Thank you for mentioning that! :) 

 

I suppose I will STILL have plenty of opportunities to work with myself on that in the mean time, though... (ESPECIALLY starting April when I will have 6 weeks completely free of assignment deadlines, having to work on Thesis 1 that has to be finished in June! Then I will definitely have to set up a time table, and a challenge on here to keep structure and sanity haha )

 

I just don't want to zoom in on it yet. I think. We'll see! :D 

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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Hmm...

 

looks like you got a lot of helpful voices here, so I'll just chime in and say that that professor can kick rocks. Just because she wants to give you advice in a "mean" way doesn't mean it's any better than the "nice" bad advice that was given to you by people who were being polite. I do understand what it's like to feel like the harsher advice is more true, but that feeling isn't necessarily accurate. Advice, like patterns of thought which engender certain emotions, should be questioned.

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On 1/24/2020 at 9:56 PM, Kishi said:

looks like you got a lot of helpful voices here, so I'll just chime in and say that that professor can kick rocks. Just because she wants to give you advice in a "mean" way doesn't mean it's any better than the "nice" bad advice that was given to you by people who were being polite. I do understand what it's like to feel like the harsher advice is more true, but that feeling isn't necessarily accurate. Advice, like patterns of thought which engender certain emotions, should be questioned.

 

Calling me out left and right! :) It's true that I tend to attach more weight to mean advice.

 

I pride myself for being "able to take direct critique" so it takes a lot sometimes to sort useful blunt advice and plain mean advice.

 

I eventually realised she just chucked her shitty attitude in my hands w/o helpful steps to get better (no growth mind set, "if you are bad at something just quit")

 

Luckily I have good people around me & decided to go to a logopedist. He and I pinned down what the problems were

 

He first was surprised about what I described but then I did an exercise with some old pleading notes & he pointed out how radically my articulation changes when I put my "presentation mode" on.

 

He even said it - your language skills are great, your pronunciation is almost native speaker level. Just need some specific pronunciaton training here and there. And coaching.

 

Id already achieved a great deal on my own before I went to him by getting the right R down 

 

So all her remarks were worth is that they jolted me to action :)  And it was a real assertiveness lesson for me haha

 

Sooo many people either avoid or get defensive but I think I did manage to appeal to her in a way (when we talked in private)

 

Ah well. Certain memories will always come to the front of my mind when I am experiencing difficulties with myself.  This is 1 of them I guess :)

 

I got sick yesterday with the fountain flu if you know what I mean... no studying done. Baby sis had already had it but had a relapse? 

 

today it broke down my mom :') Baby sis needed attention. I gave it - veeery tired - but gladly. 

 

no studying done. Before this I did stuff but not actively rehearsing. 3 days until tests.

 

lets hope nobody  relapses in the mean time! :)

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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