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Snarkyfishguts

Snarkyfishguts Remembers and Moves Forward

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5 hours ago, deftona said:

Hehehe I love the word Chonky! 

I usually see it applied to puppies and cats, but frankly, I'm a bit like a puppy right now :D  I love it too, it's joyful!

5 hours ago, deftona said:

What helps me is to track all calories and work out my calories burned from my fitbit and work out on a spreadsheet how much weight I should have lost by using the maths and although I do weigh in, I take this predicted weight from the MATHS! as how well I am progressing because I can't control whether my body drops weight or not, or what it does with those calories. I can only control how much I am eating and how much I am burning, and it really gets me through times like this week when I have gained 1.5 lbs for no apparent reason when I should have lost 2. 

 

I appreciate this is a bit overkill and your usual style is to be less anal about everything and that works too - do whatever works for you. I think my point is not to get discouraged because bodies can be tricksy asshats and if you keep up the good work, it will work in the end. 

I bought a book for tracking purposes. I have a pedometer, but it's a bit shit...hahah! A shitbit!  Okay seriously. But I think there is going to be some tracking. I can't get too detailed, because it really triggers this part of me that is very disordered about food and exercise. Right now I'm just writing down my foods, and planning some meals. And then once my inner monster realizes I'm still in total control, I can think about calories if I'm still stuck.  But I've set up my journal in a way that worked really well for me

 

Notes on Sleep

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

Snacks

Water Count

Exercise

Things I'm grateful for

Thoughts and Feelings

And I think I'm going to add "Quiet Time" to this too, for an hour a day, I'm going to just have quiet time unplugged and away from everyone else just to recharge my batteries so I don't burn out again. 

 

5 hours ago, deftona said:

 

Your waist measurement and weight only means anything as a starting point for progress from a strictly scientific point of view though. It has no bearing on your worth, attractiveness, badassery or anything else because it doesn't matter what a scale or tape measure says, you'll always have the most beautiful and kind eyes I have ever seen ❤️ 

My heart leapt across the seas to hug you. You brought sunshine into my soul and I can't tell you how much that means to me. 🥰

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So I really have been here (although I'm not sure if the internet actually kept all the reactions I did to your posts. 

 

I also really struggle with counting calories, so I totally feel you on not wanting to go down that path (and I'm always impressed by people like Deffy who can be so organized around it). I see you are rebooting your meals / snacks plans - have you thought through why it didn't work the first time? You said you had trouble sticking to the three meals rule, is it because you snack without thinking about it or that you get busy and don't eat at prescribed times? Looking back, it looks like that goal might not have been S.M.A.R.T. enough for where you are right now. Have you thought through how you could make it work better for you?

 

I think it's super easy to try to do too much when I'm frustrated with progress, which ends up making me more frustrated long term. Do you meal plan currently? What about starting out by setting up a meal plan for one meal a day or something like that? 

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3 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

So I really have been here (although I'm not sure if the internet actually kept all the reactions I did to your posts. 

 

I also really struggle with counting calories, so I totally feel you on not wanting to go down that path (and I'm always impressed by people like Deffy who can be so organized around it). I see you are rebooting your meals / snacks plans - have you thought through why it didn't work the first time? You said you had trouble sticking to the three meals rule, is it because you snack without thinking about it or that you get busy and don't eat at prescribed times? Looking back, it looks like that goal might not have been S.M.A.R.T. enough for where you are right now. Have you thought through how you could make it work better for you?

 

I think it's super easy to try to do too much when I'm frustrated with progress, which ends up making me more frustrated long term. Do you meal plan currently? What about starting out by setting up a meal plan for one meal a day or something like that? 

I currently plan one meal a day. Since it's just me for a couple more weeks, I tend to just eat the same thing all week. Sometimes I'll make a bunch of stuff to freeze, but it doesn't really ever get eaten by anyone unless it's brownies.

But it's also just me for two months. after that, my folks return from their winter break and I'm back to making all these adjustments because they're here. But it does make meal planning easier because fewer leftovers. 

That's ultimately why I like "Three meals a day" my mom is a chronic dieter, and my dad is very anxious, and it's SO much harder. I feel like half of my time during the two months they're gone is decompression and figuring out what I want.  I can stick to three meals a day when they are here, and I can stick to it when I travel. It is the simplest plan,

 

Why it didnt' work. I wanted to take advantage of being alone and really have this perfect challenge , and that doesn't work, especially when starting a challenge on Shark Week. Also, perfection is a terrible motivator. I'm never going to be perfect, and so I give up before I start because why would I even try if I'm not going to be perfect? It's all or nothing thinking that I grew up with and probably requires some therapy but I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!

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I haven't earned my dollar yet. 

 

I went shopping, bought some really comfortable shoes https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01G36XSN0?pf_rd_r=310RV19MGWJANEX9X63T&pf_rd_p=ab873d20-a0ca-439b-ac45-cd78f07a84d8&th=1&psc=1

 

They are so comfy. I also had to buy underwear because the type I ordered online was cutting off the circulation to my legs, and while I was out I went into a bathroom and ripped them off She-Hulk style and I'm having terrible luck with under garments this week!

 

 Bathing suits are out, and I need to buy a smaller top. I had one in my hands today but it was a little loose in the chest, and I remembered I'm not going down to florida for another two weeks, so I'm going to wait until a couple days before I leave to get a new suit top. I thought it was like March 20 already so I have loads of days to eat right, exercise, earn some dollars and then buy a swimsuit top that really fits me well. Because while I don't think I'll lose ten pounds in two weeks, I'm really fat, and my body is changing dramatically as a result of exercise. 

 

I slept for two hours today. Depression has been winning too much lately, and I need to just start doing anything. Now I'm going to clean out my closet and drink about six glasses of water, and I think I'll feel good enough to exercise and get that dollar! :D 

 

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My folks and I were going to go to Disney World for a couple days on our drive back to Pennsylvania, and we've canceled that. It just seems reckless to go to a crowded place where people touch everything and are coming from all over the place. I am supposed to fly down to florida in a couple weeks, and today I'm really nervous about it. I went to the grocery store on a routine run, and the toilet paper aisles are now empty. I'm glad I got toilet paper earlier! People are level 3 panicking, and I find myself thinking really silly things like "DO WE HAVE ENOUGH ICE CREAM?" 

 

#priorities

 

I used the emergency 5 minute meditation on the calm app to help reduce stress this morning. It really helped. When the voice says "soften your face" and I can actually relax my face, it's so surprising how much tension is in my face! :D 

 

I didn't earn a dollar yesterday. I have three dollars stored up, and today I'm getting a nice dollar. It's going to be really nice outside, so first I'm going to do some Ringfit, and then I'm going to go for a walk. I plan on working out again later with some fit boxing. It won't earn me an extra dollar, but I'm stressed out, and punching the air really helps with that. 

 

I also have to go buy batteries today. 

 

I have devised this panic system: 

Level 1- hand sanitizer is sold out

Level 2- airborne, face masks are sold out

Level 3- Toilet paper, bread, milk, essentials sold out

Level 4- non-essential groceries sell out. People start buying zombie apocalypse survival supplies, just in case. 

Level 5- People attack stock personnel shelving new supplies. 

 

Feel free to contribute and edit this system as needed. 

 

I don't really have any bad feelings about people stressing out or feeling they need to prepare in case the virus comes to our area. It's good planning to be able to look in your pantry and know if you have to self-quarantine, you have the basics to make it for a couple weeks. But you can hear people talking about it, and they're genuinely scared, and large groups of frightened people are something to be careful around. So I make my list as a joke, but it's also kinda not a joke too. 

 

I'm going to go earn my dollar.  

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12 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

My folks and I were going to go to Disney World for a couple days on our drive back to Pennsylvania, and we've canceled that. It just seems reckless to go to a crowded place where people touch everything and are coming from all over the place. I am supposed to fly down to florida in a couple weeks, and today I'm really nervous about it. I went to the grocery store on a routine run, and the toilet paper aisles are now empty. I'm glad I got toilet paper earlier! People are level 3 panicking, and I find myself thinking really silly things like "DO WE HAVE ENOUGH ICE CREAM?" 

 

To be fair, those of us with Lactose issues would NEED the toilet paper if we got ice cream.... :D 

 

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2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

To be fair, those of us with Lactose issues would NEED the toilet paper if we got ice cream.... :D 

 

SO TRUE! :D :D

 

I went to my local Dollar General because I needed batteries. They still had toilet paper, but they only had a few cartons of ice cream left! My neighbors clearly share my priorities!

 

Joking aside, I am slowly building a "just in case" supply of food and household items we'll need (including ice cream) I keep saying to myself "Prepare instead of panic" So I guess I'm at a level 4. :D I'm a sneaky 4

 

 

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I EARNED MY DOLLAR!

 

And something clicked halfway through my walk, and my body just felt GOOD. it wasn't as hard today, and I cut my time for a mile down by a minute! the first mile was 19:20 and the second one was 18:13

 

Each lap is a half mile

 

1: 9 min 38 sec

2. 9 min 42 sec

💚3. 9 min 01 Sec💚

4. 9 min 12 sec

 

 

BOOM! DOLLAR EARNED!!!!

 

I couldn't wait to tell y'all! 

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I haven't slept well the last couple of nights, and I've had a few things on my mind. 

 

1. There's a small leak in the ceiling from water dripping after the heater runs. 

2. My cousin still thinks we'll be able to go on our Danube River Cruise in May, and I'm trying to prepare her for it to be canceled.

3. I'm flying to Florida in a couple weeks to drive back home with my parent, and I'm really nervous about it.

4. I'm not sleeping very well and I don't know where my dad put the melatonin from when he was here.

5. The Grocery Store leapt to a Level 4 Panic, and I fully embraced Level 4 panic. I have stocked up on cleaning supplies, first aid supplies, paper products, batteries, personal hygiene products, and food. 

6. My tooth really hurt, and I don't know if it's stress clenching, or if I have a cavity. I think it's clenching because it feels a lot better this morning, but I still have a dentist appointment to make sure it's nothing else. 

7. I'm supposed to hang out with my friends tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm also really nervous about that too. 

 

I'm going to try to sleep for an hour. Please no one die during that time, thank you.

 

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On 3/11/2020 at 9:54 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

perfection is a terrible motivator. I'm never going to be perfect, and so I give up before I start because why would I even try if I'm not going to be perfect?

I've been there SO many times...

 

Sorry about people starting to be too paranoid about the virus. It can turn shopping into a very stressful thing.

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2 minutes ago, zenLara said:

I've been there SO many times...

 

Sorry about people starting to be too paranoid about the virus. It can turn shopping into a very stressful thing.

I just came back from your board! Yeah, people are nuts and trying to figure out what the right thing to do is difficult. 

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On 3/8/2020 at 3:51 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I have decided on a reward system for showing up and working out. 

 

Each day that I meet my exercise goals, I'll give myself a dollar. After about 35 days, I'm going to buy a set of hiking poles...

 

Bonus use for hiking poles: you can use them to jab people who get too close at the grocery store. 😉

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4 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

 

Bonus use for hiking poles: you can use them to jab people who get too close at the grocery store. 😉

GASP! THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!! :D :D 

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I earned my dollar, barely!

 

I got my first lap in at 9 minutes, then halfway through my second, my shins cramped up. I didn't drink enough water today. I finished the second in 9:30 minutes, and then I turned off the stopwatch and took a cool down lap stopping to stretch out a little  here and there. 

 

As of right now, it would be less risky for me to fly down to Florida and drive back with my mom and dad. If I don't fly down, she'll have to stop somewhere in Georgia, and that state is not doing well as far as the virus goes. I have a layover at the Atlanta airport, but I am packing my lunch that day. I also said to my mom that we need to pack lunches for the first leg of our trip especially because I'm not stopping to eat in florida or Georgia. Hopefully Charlotte stays healthy because we can spend the night there and then come home to Pennsylvania. So far my region is also completely clear. 

 

 It appears that there is a small infection above a previous root canal. I get to shell out 1200 bucks to get it cleaned out and then whatever to get it filled. I'm not thrilled, but I'm looking forward to getting this DONE next Thursday.

 

My friends are also worrywarts and I woke up to two cancellations this morning for tomorrow. We're just going to reschedule.

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I earned my dollar yesterday. I walked at my new pace for the first lap, then slowed down 30 seconds, and then another 30 seconds. My legs were cramping up BIG time. Lesson learned: drink more water and warm up.

 

The dentist visit was not great. Apparently I have a small infection around a crown and I need to get the root canal retreated. which is really expensive. While it doesn't hurt as much, I find myself gravitating towards softer foods anyway.  BEING AN ADULT ROCKS. To celebrate being an adult, I bought this shirt

 41EXBeHSOrL._SX342_QL70_.jpg

 

yes those ARE bunnies. 

 

I feel so much better today. My cousin invited me to her house and my aunt and uncle were there. I got there before my cousin, and my aunt welcomed me. She's pretty reserved, but she just looked at me while I was taking off my shoes, and she said "C'mon, you can help me make dinner"  and she got out ingredients and handed them to me while I cooked and we just talked. She works at a grocery store so we compared notes about what was sold out, and it was fun. I needed family time, and I needed the quiet. After dinner we played Animal Crossing on the 3DS and my aunt said "I have cupcakes!"  

 

I am off to the store again. I need eggs and baking soda for the fridge. 😕 It's going to be an adventure because we got our first confirmed case in the county. OH WELL!  After, I'm going to celebrate by staying inside and working out. I may go for a walk though. It's cold, but sunny, and I love the sunshine. :) 

 

Stay healthy, friends. 

 

*update: I earned my dollar! :D 

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Well, this challenge has been a fail for the most part.  

 

I think my next challenge is going to focus on stress reduction and developing a sense of self-worth that isn't reliant on anyone else. I spend so much of my time trying to show I have value to anyone else, because deep down, I worry I'm viewed as worthless. And if I'm not treating myself with worth, then how will anyone else see that I have it?  I'll still exercise and eat well, but I realized I need to change where that motivation comes from. because it's not working. Also, letting go of the constant stream of worry. 

 

Today I'm going to earn my dollar, clean stuff, and watch some movies. I'll probably draw badly too and take notes for the next challenge. 

 

 

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I bought washable masks that have removable filters for when I have to travel to florida and some disposable gloves and my family is telling me that I am overreacting.

 

am I overreacting?

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7 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I bought washable masks that have removable filters for when I have to travel to florida and some disposable gloves and my family is telling me that I am overreacting.

 

am I overreacting?

 

Do you feel more prepared and comfortable traveling with them? Did you buy a reasonable amount for yourself and your parents? If you answered yes to both, I don't think it's any of their business whether or not you may or may not be overreacting (if you answered no, it's none of their business either, but if were truly looking for an answer and you like bought out two Walgreen's worth of gloves, I might say yes). 

 

It can be very scary dealing with traveling regardless of the rest of the things going on and people deal with things differently. If it makes it easier on you to travel, then it's worth it. This is kind of an unprecedented time in our world, so who really can say what is overreacting and what isn't.

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22 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I bought washable masks that have removable filters for when I have to travel to florida and some disposable gloves and my family is telling me that I am overreacting.

 

am I overreacting?

 

Not at all. Florida is gross.

 

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23 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Do you feel more prepared and comfortable traveling with them? Did you buy a reasonable amount for yourself and your parents? If you answered yes to both, I don't think it's any of their business whether or not you may or may not be overreacting (if you answered no, it's none of their business either, but if were truly looking for an answer and you like bought out two Walgreen's worth of gloves, I might say yes). 

 

It can be very scary dealing with traveling regardless of the rest of the things going on and people deal with things differently. If it makes it easier on you to travel, then it's worth it. This is kind of an unprecedented time in our world, so who really can say what is overreacting and what isn't.

I do feel prepared. I have three masks and a box of filters and gloves. I don’t know what to expect and I’d rathe err on the side of caution. Plus, after I posted this. I read a guy knowingly flew from ny to Florida with the virus. Yikes!!!he is banned for life from Jet Blue. WHO DOES THAT?!

23 minutes ago, Chris Tarly said:

 

Not at all. Florida is gross.

 

This gave me a much needed laugh. But seriously... ;) 

I have a layover in Atlanta. That place is BUSY.

 

I guess if anything, it’s helped my parents realize this is not the flu and they need to stay away from people! I also subscribed to Disney+ and they texted they are inside watching Frozen 2 today. 

big breaths. 
Thanks to you both. 

 

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On 3/13/2020 at 8:30 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I get to shell out 1200 bucks to get it cleaned out and then whatever to get it filled

!!!! WTF!!!

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2 hours ago, zenLara said:

!!!! WTF!!!

I KNOW! I KNOW!!!! 

 

My mom went to this office before and the same person didn't perform the procedure but prescribed antibiotics and they worked. So I'm hoping if my problem is as small as they say that I just get antibiotics too. I have some money set aside in savings for emergencies, but it just feels like a really big blow financially. 

 

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