Scalyfreak levels up for real

[Scaly Freak]

Scalyfreak resumes her adventures through the great and wonderful wilderness known as Life. She has restocked her supplies, verified that all her weapons are in perfect condition, and her armor has been adjusted to fit her perfectly again. Life is good, so far, for now.

 

So naturally, before she has made it even a mile into her next journey, Scalyfreak comes across her next adversary. It’s a familiar face, blocking the road ahead, and a familiar hissing voice and vicious smile, that greets her.

 

“And you thought you were rid of me...”

 

Scalyfreak makes a point of sighing loudly before she tilts her head to study Self-Sabotage’s sleek and oily form. “Did you shrink? You seem smaller.”

 

This time when the creature hisses, the mocking smile has turned into a snarl. “And you think that matters. That’s cute.” The monster lowers its head and slowly advances on its target. “You’re human. I am always with you, and I will always win.”

 

“Maybe,” Scalyfreak repliesf, admitting that their past encounters have not gone very well for her. And then she smiles, widely and cheerfully, and holds out her right hand with the palm facing upwards. “But look what I’ve learned!” She makes a slight tossing motion, and a large fireball ignites in the air right above her fingers, hovers for a second, and then shoots straight towards her opponent.

 

 

First things first: Half-way through this challenge is the grand anniversary of the glorious day when the world we live in was greatly improved by the arrival of Me. Or to phrase it slightly differently, I celebrate my birthday.

 

By the end of February, I will level up to the age that is the answer to all questions about Life, The Universe, and Everything else. In other words, I will be 42, which I look forward to. I like to spend my birthday weekends reflecting on what has changed since my last birthday, and this past year I have made a lot of progress both in my personal life and professionally, so this year I have some real progress to celebrate.

 

But I also need to tackle the fact that Self-Sabotage is actively attacking me again. Initially I thought it Self-Indulgence was up to her old shenanigans, but then I realized the pattern didn’t fit. Self-Indulgence really only has one form of attack. She points out how bad I’m feeling, and suggests something that will make me feel better, and she continues to suggest and nag until I give in. She is a Hedonist Demon, which means the only thing she cares about is making bad feelings go away and good feelings stay longer. As I grew wiser and learned more about myself and what I need in order to stay on an even keel and remain happy, I can completely control how much power Self-Indulgence has in my life.

 

And that means the return of my digestive problems and the insomnia that both add fuel to the Flame of Anxiety, are the result of devious attacks by Self-Sabotage. Self-Sabotage reminds me that it’s quicker and easier to go to the vending machines and buy a snack than to make popcorn or tea from the stuff I have at my desk. Self-Sabotage makes me stay up and read long after I should have gone to bed, because it’s so nice to finally have peace and quiet, and we should enjoy lots of whiskey while we enjoy the peace and quiet. And so on.

 

So I am going to set my goals to make one change at work, and one change at home, and that will be my first two attacks on Self-Sabotage.

 

1. Do not buy any kinds of sweets to use as work snacks.

This means I must stop buying gummy bears from the vending machine. Or any other type of candy, from anywhere. I must also stop buying cookies or pastries of any kind, for work. I’m still allowed to eat any of the above if someone offers it to me. The goal here is for me to stop actively hunt and/or quest for snacks that are nothing but sugar.

 

2. Reading in the evenings must involve a paper book.

I read a ton, and always on my eReader, because it is easier. Not only does it have an entire library installed, it syncs with the app on my phone and the one on my laptop, and that makes it easy to continue reading wherever I go. However, this makes it harder to get to bed at a reasonable time in the evenings. Not because of the light, with eInk there is no blue light involved, but it makes it far too easy to continue reading. Also, we have a lot of paper books I’ve been meaning to read, that have been ignored in favor of the low-barrier eBooks, not to mention the stack I just checked out from the library. Starting from week one, reading before bed, must involve a paper book.

 

3. Continue what worked last challenge: Lifting and Meditation

Because the Flame of Anxiety is soothed by barbells and kept calm by mindfulness practices.

 

 

 

 

[Br0din]

 

[h3r0]

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, h3r0 said:

[Jean]

This loading screen has me sucked in!

 

 

 

Also, because it showed up while searching for gifs and I very like it:

 

 

 

[Grumble]

Well, at least I know there's one other person who forgot  is busy as all get out too.

[KB Girl]

The suspense is killing me ;_;

[Scaly Freak]

5 hours ago, Grumble said:

Well, at least I know there's one other person who forgot  is busy as all get out too.

 

Don't forget the part where I still have to figure out my next challenge too...!

[JustCallMeAmber]

I was looking for an appropriate gif but I got distracted.

I don't like popcorn but this is fascinating to watch.

 

Anyways. I look forward to seeing what you do next

 

[Harriet]

5 hours ago, JustCallMeAmber said:

I was looking for an appropriate gif but I got distracted.

 

Oooh. I thought it was a grape filled with powder. Or foam. 

 

@Scalyfreak, I'm not sure, but I think it's possible we're going to start littering your thread with weird gifs until you make goals.

 

[Scaly Freak]

9 minutes ago, Harriet said:

@Scalyfreak, I'm not sure, but I think it's possible we're going to start littering your thread with weird gifs until you make goals.

 

 

I'm sure at some point you realized this is not a strong incentive for me to post new challenge goals... right?

[Harriet]

9 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

I'm sure at some point you realized this is not a strong incentive for me to post new challenge goals... right?

I'm not trying to shape your behaviour. It's just I feel an urge to graffiti this bare wall. 

 

 

Oh yeah. 

 

Let's go.

 

[h3r0]

3 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

I'm sure at some point you realized this is not a strong incentive for me to post new challenge goals... right?

 

 

[Jean]

On 2/10/2020 at 5:50 AM, Scalyfreak said:

Goals are currently under construction.

It's a known fact of life that construction work is never done on schedule...

 

Also, adding another brick in the wall:

 

 

[Stronkey Kong]

I'm with @Harriet...

 

 

[Harriet]

6 hours ago, Chris Tarly said:

I'm with @Harriet...

 

Dude! That dancing cow-boy is more perturbing than the infamous peanut butter gif! Ugh! My eyes! Okay, corn moustache Ron sorta makes up for it. He looks so... sweet. 

[Harriet]

It's been, like, hours. 

 

 

[Jean]

What has been seen can't be unseen. I... need to talk to my therapist.

 

 

Actually, you know what?

 

 

And now,

 

[Scaly Freak]

So what I have learned from this is that the next time I post a place holder, as a reminder to myself and for accountability, I need to put a gif warning in the title. 

 

Initial post has been updated with the long awaited challenge goals.

 

 

[Red1263]

... I... umm... uhhh... I really don't know what to make of... ANY of this.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

12 minutes ago, Red1263 said:

... I... umm... uhhh... I really don't know what to make of... ANY of this.

 

[Red1263]

Thank you, Tank. Thank you.

[Jean]

On 2/10/2020 at 5:50 AM, Scalyfreak said:

She has restocked her supplies, verified that all her weapons are in perfect condition, and her armor has been adjusted to fit her perfectly again. Life is good, so far, for now.

 

Gotta love the feelings that come with preparedness. Give me a 100% full energy tank and I can tackle the world! Which makes you wonder why we give Self-Sabotage such a good time getting us to do everything but what will actually help. Hope you show the old thing what's what and burn its contact book with this fireball: it's got my address too!

 

 

On 2/10/2020 at 5:50 AM, Scalyfreak said:

Scalyfreak makes a point of sighing loudly before she tilts her head

 

Now, that's a proper implementation of priorities if I've ever seen any! Hope its feelings got hurt. The thing knows everybody but hasn't got a friend, that's got to be heavy on it. Let's keep at it and we'll get it to see a psychiatrist.

 

 

On 2/10/2020 at 5:50 AM, Scalyfreak said:

Half-way through this challenge is the grand anniversary of the glorious day when the world we live in was greatly improved by the arrival of Me.

 

Oh boy, now I'm all excited! Hope you'll solve some of the grand questions we all face, like how to get Self-Sabotage to finally go away. I'll look at the stars and try to catch the sign that this is the day.

 

 

Nice to see you've found a good balance and are improving on it not too many steps at a time. Color me hyped! I'm rooting for you.

[Harriet]

On 2/9/2020 at 8:50 PM, Scalyfreak said:

But I also need to tackle the fact that Self-Sabotage is actively attacking me again. Initially I thought it Self-Indulgence was up to her old shenanigans, but then I realized the pattern didn’t fit. Self-Indulgence really only has one form of attack. She points out how bad I’m feeling, and suggests something that will make me feel better, and she continues to suggest and nag until I give in. She is a Hedonist Demon, which means the only thing she cares about is making bad feelings go away and good feelings stay longer. As I grew wiser and learned more about myself and what I need in order to stay on an even keel and remain happy, I can completely control how much power Self-Indulgence has in my life.

 

And that means the return of my digestive problems and the insomnia that both add fuel to the Flame of Anxiety, are the result of devious attacks by Self-Sabotage. Self-Sabotage reminds me that it’s quicker and easier to go to the vending machines and buy a snack than to make popcorn or tea from the stuff I have at my desk. Self-Sabotage makes me stay up and read long after I should have gone to bed, because it’s so nice to finally have peace and quiet, and we should enjoy lots of whiskey while we enjoy the peace and quiet. And so on.

These seem like exceptionally useful insights. I do something similar--when I'm sick and stop doing my good habits, there's often no reason. I drop everything. Okay, sure, I can't lift, but why do I stop taking my fish oil? Fine, I don't feel like cooking, but did I really have to eat so many chocolate bars I felt sick? And sometimes when I'm enjoying a glass of wine I think "ah, f*** it" and have another one and stay up late, even though it's not for the best. Mr Harriet had the amazing suggestion that maybe, if I can't lift, I could do some pushups or something. And I was like "what is this sorcery? There's something in between lifting and nothing???" 

BTW, E A Poe insists that there is a human impulse that exists for no other reason than itself; he calls it the imp of the perverse. It features in several of his stories (not under that name) and it sounds very like your self-sabotage monster. 

 

On 2/9/2020 at 8:50 PM, Scalyfreak said:

1. Do not buy any kinds of sweets to use as work snacks.

This means I must stop buying gummy bears from the vending machine. Or any other type of candy, from anywhere. I must also stop buying cookies or pastries of any kind, for work. I’m still allowed to eat any of the above if someone offers it to me. The goal here is for me to stop actively hunt and/or quest for snacks that are nothing but sugar.

 

2. Reading in the evenings must involve a paper book.

I read a ton, and always on my eReader, because it is easier. Not only does it have an entire library installed, it syncs with the app on my phone and the one on my laptop, and that makes it easy to continue reading wherever I go. However, this makes it harder to get to bed at a reasonable time in the evenings. Not because of the light, with eInk there is no blue light involved, but it makes it far too easy to continue reading. Also, we have a lot of paper books I’ve been meaning to read, that have been ignored in favor of the low-barrier eBooks, not to mention the stack I just checked out from the library. Starting from week one, reading before bed, must involve a paper book.

 

3. Continue what worked last challenge: Lifting and Meditation

Because the Flame of Anxiety is soothed by barbells and kept calm by mindfulness practices.

 

 

Looking good. I admire your resolve in deciding not to seek out the gummy bears. 

[Scaly Freak]

32 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Mr Harriet had the amazing suggestion that maybe, if I can't lift, I could do some pushups or something. And I was like "what is this sorcery? There's something in between lifting and nothing???" 

 

There is, and it is other, different kinds of lifting.

 

32 minutes ago, Harriet said:

BTW, E A Poe insists that there is a human impulse that exists for no other reason than itself; he calls it the imp of the perverse. It features in several of his stories (not under that name) and it sounds very like your self-sabotage monster. 

 

I may or may not take inspiration for these monsters and personal demons from things I read and used to read when I was younger... That was initially the inspiration for Self-Indulgence but then I realized she's not evil, just seriously misguided by my lack of insight into what I needed as opposed to what I wanted.