RedStone Revisits Her Spawn Coordinates

[Scaly Freak]

4 hours ago, RedStone said:

Yeah, messenger is really my main draw and was the only thing I used it for once upon a time. The best I can offer in terms of curating the feed is hiding and blocking the bad stuff so that the algorithm learns what you want to see but it isn'r fool proof. I follow and interact with a lot of my interest groups to encourage that - puppies, crafts, garage sale finds, (now axe throwing) so that helps a bit. 

 

I have started to only go to my interest groups and ignore the main feed.It helps a bit.  I do take a certain pleasure in reporting certain political ads as "offensive content"... 😁

 

It sounds as if you have a lot of stuff going on right now, and if your goals are slipping a little bit, that's not surprising. Frustrating, probably, but this is the part where you give yourself some understanding and forgiveness and focus on doing better tomorrow. Which you will, because you are awesome that way. What exactly "better" means, that's up to you to decide, of course. But you're a dragon, and dragons always win in the end.  

[Rookie]

16 hours ago, RedStone said:

I do love dragons. Maybe a good exercise would be to go backwards... list out all the things I want to feel like and then back into how dragons facilitate this. 

Oh thats a really cool idea. I think I will need to explore Tanks journalling exercise. There are so many animals I hold dear to me (Tigers, Horses, Wolves, Bears, Orcas mainly) and it would be interesting to see what traits match up with what I want to be.

 

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It was indeed wonky and hit or miss (literally) and I've never been great at performance consistency ever, so it would be cool to sort of work towards that! I definitely enjoyed it enough, from the actions down to the surroundings, that I could see myself putting in the time that would take! 

I think I still enjoy my archery more but definitely would never turn down some good ol' axe throwing

 

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So this week has been tough. Since the weekend, my overall mood has not improved. I've been crying a lot, which is good... last week I cried pretty hard for the first time in a long time - I don't let myself cry hard because my eyes get really baggy the next day and that's a dumb reason for holding it all in. I'm trying not to let something silly like that keep me from my emotions.

Open those flood gates girl! That was me with my mini eggs breakdown lol bawling and eating some mini eggs. Sometimes you just gotta do it.

 

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I'm most concerned about keeping it together for Saturday's self defense workshop, but in general I have a good relationship with public speaking and should be able to show up in a confident manner despite the stuff going on.

I feel like once you get going on your self defense workshop the flow will come out and you will be fine. 

 

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I do feel more ready to work with my wrist, I experimented with some KB cleans while demoing for a client last night and it felt solid enough. It's not the exact same movement as the barbell clean I sprained it with, but a good sign for a weighted (though relatively light) rotation in the joint. Holding dumbbells is getting more manageable and I'm regaining dexterity in my left hand with practice. Now all I have to do is get back to a routine... easy, right? 😳but I will. Goal for the challenge still stands with 2 strength workouts this week, still unsure about running. 

Fingers crossed. I feel this on a personal level T_T

 

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And for no reason, I'll share this amazing video. Last night I discovered a youtube channel where this guy reviews military MREs (meals ready to eat) from around the world. Some new from present day, and plenty of vintage ones - I watched in horror as he ate crackers from a tin dating to 1942! I may be a little enamored. I watched a fair few last night and a few this morning. It's oddly wholesome and kind of incredibly funny in a weird dry way. 

So MRE video watching is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me; so much so (as I excitedly told you via PM yesterday as soon as I saw your post) that my boyfriend bought me a box of assorted ones for Christmas 2 years ago and I keep one in my desk lol. I love Steves videos.. hes definitely the go to guy and his videos are oddly satisfying. I also enjoy the CrazyRussianHacker  He does other things but he gets some cool vintage MREs from around the world. Its been awhile since I have watched these videos 😮 so thanks for the reminder lol

[RedStone]

15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I heartily endorse this. 

 

I'm glad you were able to let out those tears. It really is better than holding them in. In the long run anyway. 

 

Me too. It's been a good week, so far as bad weeks go.

 

15 hours ago, mitch_dee said:

I will now be bingeing on this channel.  I loved MRE's as a kid, PopsDee and I would always take them when we went on week long walkabout trips in NZ...a fishing pole, black powder rifle and 3 MRE's each; for in case you didn't catch or kill your own food that day.  Now I need to order some....Thanks!!!!

 

Me too... I absolutely have to get some camping ones if nothing else, which should be available in my town. Any recommendations?

 

Speaking of fishing, this guy also does non food aspects of survival packs, he did an unwrapping of a 1944 pilot emergency pack with an amazing fishing kit apron inside! So cool, it's like a museum :DDD

 

2 minutes ago, Rookie said:

So MRE video watching is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me; so much so (as I excitedly told you via PM yesterday as soon as I saw your post) that my boyfriend bought me a box of assorted ones for Christmas 2 years ago and I keep one in my desk lol. I love Steves videos.. hes definitely the go to guy and his videos are oddly satisfying. I also enjoy the CrazyRussianHacker  He does other things but he gets some cool vintage MREs from around the world. Its been awhile since I have watched these videos 😮 so thanks for the reminder lol

 

HAHAHA I was SO about to tag you @Rookie!!! Beat me to it. Steve is so calm and relaxing and it's hilarious that he'll eat something, say it's terrible and rancid, and then take another bite to "make sure." I keep yelling at the screen - stop eating that!! I will check out CrazyRussianHacker (that sounds familiar for some reason?) - any other recommendations? 

 

15 hours ago, mitch_dee said:

Sidenote: The old MRE packs (from the '70's and '80's) had a heat stone that contained magnesium in them, so if you cooked a 2 peoples meals on one stone you could use the extra stone for a variety of things (mainly a small pressurized explosive when combined with water and a seal-able container....lol

 

This is reminiscent of my cousin visiting from Florida making small projectiles in the park using pool chemicals...

 

11 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

I do take a certain pleasure in reporting certain political ads as "offensive content"... 😁

 

This is one of my favorite things - I use "scam" or offensive" a lot. I do think it helps and makes me feel a combination of satisfied, justified and devious.

 

11 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

It sounds as if you have a lot of stuff going on right now, and if your goals are slipping a little bit, that's not surprising. Frustrating, probably, but this is the part where you give yourself some understanding and forgiveness and focus on doing better tomorrow. Which you will, because you are awesome that way. What exactly "better" means, that's up to you to decide, of course. But you're a dragon, and dragons always win in the end.  

 

Yeah, I'm ok with stuff like this, an off week is just part of the show. I feel more tired and emotionally drained more than anything else, and have a hard time hitting the rest button in the middle of the week - I'm definitely one of those people that starts fresh on Mondays.

 

_____

 

But I am kinda looking forward to the weekend, even though it's a little loaded. I have friends coming over for mahjonng Friday night, (I have a feeling one of the girls may crash over since she lives far away), my self defense thing on Saturday afternoon,  and a dash over to a friends surprise party that kind of over laps. Saturday night will be super chill (DEF looking forward to that!) and my Dad's birthday brunch thing on Sunday. 

 

Thinking ahead I should enlist Mr Red to help me get meal planning in mind so maybe we can get groceries on Saturday and not be toast on Sunday for actual cooking like I was last week. I kept saying, oh I have time to cook during the week blah blah blah, but it always got stressful at meal times, there wasn't enough in the house and I ended up eating out a few times which I don't like to do. A little plan ahead goes a long way for me, especially in the stress department.

 

I'm committing some time today for journaling, I will include a bit about my beloved dragons, and focus on goal alignment so I can start next week on a strong note.

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

1 hour ago, RedStone said:

Yeah, I'm ok with stuff like this, an off week is just part of the show.

 

This is a great mindset to have, and I wish I could be more relaxed about it. I'm still trying to get to that point.  

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, RedStone said:

This is one of my favorite things - I use "scam" or offensive" a lot. I do think it helps and makes me feel a combination of satisfied, justified and devious.

 

I also use "scam" to report any weight loss or skin care product that has the nerve to guarantee results.  

[RedStone]

36 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

This is a great mindset to have, and I wish I could be more relaxed about it. I'm still trying to get to that point.  

 

I'm not sure if it's new or something I always had. I'm surprisingly forgiving and understanding to myself despite the underlying existential dread. Riddle me that Batman

 

11 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

I also use "scam" to report any weight loss or skin care product that has the nerve to guarantee results.  

 

Same. Pretty much everything weightloss oriented and I get a TON of training program stuff, both for professionals and clients. I don't need to see your 30 days to a better butt module, Karen! So many MLMs, SMH

[starpuck]

I love this dragon talk.   I could rattle your ears on the Chromatic Dragons of D&D world- they are the good dragons.   While they still maintain some of the "quirks" of dragonkind, they are amazing and often help the races of man to thwart the true evils of the land.  *ahem*  Anyway.

 

Glad to see you doing the doing you are doing.   *dizzied myself with that*   It's hard, but you are pushing through and making progress.   So proud of ya girl!     (I too dislike crying, also get pig eyes from it, and will literally bite my tongue during sad movies to focus the tears away.)     Not long ago, during a 'moment' with the household, I let out and full on sobbed.  I hadn't done that in ... twenty years? More?    It was so much a relief at the end of it all.    I think we were built to have those moments of release.   But we've been so programmed to stop them, or filter them through practical levees.    We'll get there eh?       You're doing wonderful!

 

[Scaly Freak]

30 minutes ago, Starpuck said:

Glad to see you doing the doing you are doing.   *dizzied myself with that*   It's hard, but you are pushing through and making progress.   So proud of ya girl!     (I too dislike crying, also get pig eyes from it, and will literally bite my tongue during sad movies to focus the tears away.)     Not long ago, during a 'moment' with the household, I let out and full on sobbed.  I hadn't done that in ... twenty years? More?    It was so much a relief at the end of it all. 

 

Personal comment: I see crying as a safety release of sorts. It's the brain's emotional version of opening the vent on the pressure cooker to let the high pressure out so we can open the lid. If we don't do that, we eventually explode. One of the reasons Lilo & Stitch is one of my favorite movies is because I always tear up towards the end. ("It's little... and broken... but still good.Yes.Still good.") Aside from the fact that only brilliant art evokes deep emotion, being able to let it out in a safe environment is a good and safe thing.

[RedStone]

 

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Glad to see you doing the doing you are doing.   *dizzied myself with that*   It's hard, but you are pushing through and making progress.   So proud of ya girl!     (I too dislike crying, also get pig eyes from it, and will literally bite my tongue during sad movies to focus the tears away.)     Not long ago, during a 'moment' with the household, I let out and full on sobbed.  I hadn't done that in ... twenty years? More?    It was so much a relief at the end of it all.    I think we were built to have those moments of release.   But we've been so programmed to stop them, or filter them through practical levees.    We'll get there eh?       You're doing wonderful!

 

 

On 3/7/2020 at 12:34 AM, Scalyfreak said:

 

Personal comment: I see crying as a safety release of sorts. It's the brain's emotional version of opening the vent on the pressure cooker to let the high pressure out so we can open the lid. If we don't do that, we eventually explode. One of the reasons Lilo & Stitch is one of my favorite movies is because I always tear up towards the end. ("It's little... and broken... but still good.Yes.Still good.") Aside from the fact that only brilliant art evokes deep emotion, being able to let it out in a safe environment is a good and safe thing.

 

It is. A good, healthy catharsis. I definitely well up at appropriate things - long distance commercials, Inside Out, GIFs about dogs, softly letting the tears come down, but its the full body sob I've been putting off. No more! And it's not like a i need such a hefty release everyday or anything.

 

On 3/7/2020 at 12:01 AM, Starpuck said:

I love this dragon talk.   I could rattle your ears on the Chromatic Dragons of D&D world- they are the good dragons.   While they still maintain some of the "quirks" of dragonkind, they are amazing and often help the races of man to thwart the true evils of the land.  *ahem*  Anyway.

 

 

I'm gonna say that this exercise is helping some. The very first thing I did made an enormous difference, and that was to take my isolated dragon (her name is/was Luna btw), and put her into a crew of dragons, possibly multiple parts of the same person, possibly something in the inner child realm surrounded by loved once, almost absolutely both. They're all in a cave and it wasn't long before Spike and Friends were there, and now the cave looks like the inside of Spongebob's head. This is a far cry from the original aesthetic of a long thing winding black dragon with iridescent scales and paper thin wings against a black sky and a black cave. They're all plump and cartooney now. That may be a bit far of a pendulum swing in the long run but it's helping.

 

Mr Red and I went down to Jersey to surprise my dad for his birthday. I don't see my parents all that often but we do talk on the phone a lot. One thing with my mom set me off on the self esteem despair train, but I acknowledged it in the moment and talked it out with the Mr on the way home. I'm thinking that I'd like to create an affirmation spread to consult/remember during those times. One thing that Mr Red said that stuck out to me was - just because THEY'RE awesome, why can't YOU be awesome too? So I'm going to sit with that and work on it, and so a little affirmation map for myself looking at unconditional love, accomplishments and I'm not sure, maybe characteristics I'm proud of. If anyone has any suggestions for what might be useful I would appreciate hearing them!

 

Another solid note from this week - I had my last call with the editor. It was surprisingly positive and closed the experience on a solid note. The long story short version is that I'm walking away from this experience with a comprehensive marketing plan... and a solid understanding of what that even means LOL but my plan is much more clear, and everything I was pouring into the old project has been redistributed into more appropriate channels. (Some is staying, I still plan on using what I have for the series!) So I'm pretty happy with the way that turned out and it was a bit of a surprise. It does mean that I'm going to have to create a schedule to follow, but that's all part of the game.

 

Meal prep is hapenning and I'm keeping it simple with tried and true favorites - Turkey burgers on english muffins with string beans, and chicken with peanut sauce with rice and roasted broccoli. At the end of last week I recognized some food stress from feeling restricted with my meal plans (honestly they haven't even changed, I've just been turning up my nose at meal times and snacking on blah stuff that leaves me hungry at the end of the day. So on Thursday I walked over to the lovely cheese shop and got a few slices of procuitto to have on a nice cracker along with the regular meal. Worked like a charm! It was very satisfying and I felt so much better. I'm trying to keep that in mind with meals this week.

 

In tech news, the pixel 4 I ordered several weeks ago came in and I now have a phone that does actual phone things! You know, like pick up a call and send emails and stuff. I really stressed over which phone to get and consulted all my techie nerds. @Grumble pushed me towards the pixel and I have to say I really love it so far! Thanks homie  and OMG that camera is awesome. 

 

Movement - my hip is feeling much better and I'm a little iffy on running, but will have at least 1 this week to try. Otherwise, full body strength work, morning yoga and the usual martial arts! 

 

Finally, are basil lassis' a thing? Because if they're not, they are now! Failed attempt at a green goddess dip turned into something wonderful. 

 

 

[starpuck]

I almost went to the Pixel after having to convert away from the HTC One (which I loved) into a Samsung girl.  I'm happy enough with my S9, but I was sooooo tempted by the Pixel!   Congrats new phone mama!   Sounds like you've had some key awesome bits in your studies!  (Personal and otherwise.)  I am happy to hear that.   I say it so often you probably get stalker-creep vibes off of me, but "you (oh man about to quote Star Trek) are and always have been, an inspiration to me."    I really am thrilled to see you working so hard to see it for yourself too.  

 

[KB Girl]

On 3/9/2020 at 1:48 AM, RedStone said:

One thing that Mr Red said that stuck out to me was - just because THEY'RE awesome, why can't YOU be awesome too?

Smart man!

 

glad you ended your experience with that editor on a positive note  

[RedStone]

I've had a hard time updating. It's been hard to focus and zero in when so much is up in the air. Lockdown started in my city on Friday, with even bigger restrictions starting today, but I've been self quarantining since last Monday. The long and short of it is that last weekend I started in with a light head cold, (that was Saturday morning after staying up late and being outside in the rain with friends) I didn't think too much of it, and kicking myself now because I saw my parents on Sunday for my father's birthday, and they are both high risk. Monday it was in my throat and now it's in my chest. Bad enough to be paranoid, not bad enough to do anything other than rest, drink fluids and watch.

 

I don't know if I actually have the big IT,  but don't (and probably won't) know that I don't - I certainly don't qualify for a test, so I've been extra cautious in the way we wish everyone would be in the early stages, though the east coast is rapidly joining some of the high dense areas of the world. I shut down the gym and am in the process of moving clients to remote and online options. 

 

I teeter on how the state of my affairs with challenge is. One really interesting thing is that I'm feeling a very intimate connection with my gym space now that no one is coming here and it's ALL MINE. It's not a space I think of as being "mine" - it was created for my clients... the other day I went down for a workout and 2 things hapenned - 1st I DID NOT NOTICE MY WRIST AT ALL!! In fact, the DBs I used for presses were too light and I went up. I even did KB swings! Good tidings for the sprain  And second, I really felt a sense of calm ownership of the space, like it's just for me. I'm taking it easy, but when movement happens down there it's really nice. (And the bleach smell is starting to chill a bit too! MEEP!)

 

So I'm starting to think about what the next challenge will look like, and what it will look like here, what the best kind of support everyone will need. Interesting times indeed.

[Scaly Freak]

I hope you recover and feel better soon! 

[Harriet]

Oh, having one's own gym sounds amazing. Get well soon.

[RedStone]

Okay I'm fine, you know, considering the situation. Whatever cold I have peaked towards the end of last week, cold meds helped, and I'm over the stage of thinking I have (or had) "IT" -though I do think that's a pretty common stage of "going through all this." 

 

New York State is on a version of shelter in place, and with our numbers soaring and proximity to New York City things are changing rapidly every day. Because of my paranoia over my cold it's about 2 weeks in for me so far, about a week and a half for Mr Red, and about a week for the rest of my city that wasn't doing it already. I have friends who have already gone through it and recovered - with loss of sense of smell as an apparently under reported side effect? Weird.

 

Anyway. I don't want this to become a place for all of that. I'm going into the next challenge with a fluid sense of goals pertaining to good routine. There's going to be good days and bad days, but hopefully some good can be made from all of it. ONWARDS!

[starpuck]

Hey chica.  Good attitude.   ❤️  I am glad to hear your are feeling better too.      I might dip into assassin for mostly body weight stuff for the next challenge.   Changing up the pace and all that.      I've got an at home pull up bar on order ... gosh I hope my old door frames work with it and I don't fall to my unceremonious demise trying to use it hehe.

 

Love you!

 

 

 

[RedStone]

12 minutes ago, Starpuck said:

Hey chica.  Good attitude.   ❤️  I am glad to hear your are feeling better too.      I might dip into assassin for mostly body weight stuff for the next challenge.   Changing up the pace and all that.      I've got an at home pull up bar on order ... gosh I hope my old door frames work with it and I don't fall to my unceremonious demise trying to use it hehe.

 

Love you!

 

 

 

 

Love you ❤️ Flex is looking for a pull up bar solution for old door frames too lol if you find something let me or him know! I suggested going to empty playgrounds with bleach. Are there outdoor "gyms" near you? We don't have any, but there are lots of places that do... dip bars, pull up etc. 

 

I'm also thinking gymnastics rings or TRX for out door training? Mine also has a door frame stopper. Lots of options.

[Scaly Freak]

Glad to hear you're feeling better! 

 

See you in the next challenge!