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Chris Tarly

Darwin's Demon, Curl Brogo, Vincent Van Bro, and Chris Tarly walk into a gym...

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Alright! My sins are confessed and absolved!

 

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I already did my penance which was to pray Psalm 103. Boom! 28 years of sinnin' gone... I mean, I'm sure there are other factors like the time that's passed, my good deeds, the guilt I've felt, the sincerity of my contrition etc. Now I just have to receive the Eucharist tomorrow night and I'm back in communion.

 

And that made for a pretty emotional day. Still I went in to work and made it 9.5 hours (it's overtime day so I'm not required to do the whole 10), but still I probably worked 55 hours this week.
 

I still haven't had any coffee or energy drinks... and I'm totally feeling it. It's getting better, but the cut in caffeine levels and not getting the kickstart from coffee really drags out my "morning". I'm going shopping tomorrow and I'm going to get some decaf just to be able to taste it at least. It's not just the caffeine that perks me up, the whole experience of the taste, smell, and warmth has a huge effect on my mood. So I'm gonna at least get those parts of it.

 

I didn't do my second yoga session, but I will do it this weekend.

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1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

One prayer? Catholics have gone weak. Back on the day I’d get sets of rosaries plus a couple other prayers just for impure thoughts.

 

I’m just being snarky. I’m glad you’ve found peace.

 

Snark away. I was surprised too... cuz I've done some shit bro. But it takes me about 15 min to pray the rosary. Multiply that by the number of impure thoughts I've had... I wouldn't have time to make it to church before I died. I'm pretty sure this is just a cheap taste of salvation to get me hooked and I'll have to pay more down the line... you know "Sign up now and get a free absolution..." etc.

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3 hours ago, Chris Tarly said:

Snark away. I was surprised too... cuz I've done some shit bro. But it takes me about 15 min to pray the rosary. Multiply that by the number of impure thoughts I've had... I wouldn't have time to make it to church before I died. I'm pretty sure this is just a cheap taste of salvation to get me hooked and I'll have to pay more down the line... you know "Sign up now and get a free absolution..." etc.

Ah, at that point is when people from the Reformation come knocking on your door talking about Sola Fide ;) 

 

Seriously though, I'm very happy for you. FWIW the penance isn't what you do to get grace, that is already handled on God's end. Of course, I don't didn't know if that fits with Catholic teaching, but I looked it up and apparently penance actually is the confession itself. Psalm 103 was how the priest instructed you to ask God for grace, not what got you grace.

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38 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

FWIW the penance isn't what you do to get grace, that is already handled on God's end

 

Lutheran doctrine says it doesn't matter what you do, it'll never be enough to get grace, because humans can never do enough to deserve or earn it We're a lost cause that way. It's called "grace" because it's given to us despite that, and we do "penance"to express our gratitude for this generous gift.

 

Assuming I remember this correctly, that is. It's been a couple of decades. :) 

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3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Ah, at that point is when people from the Reformation come knocking on your door talking about Sola Fide ;) 

 

Seriously though, I'm very happy for you. FWIW the penance isn't what you do to get grace, that is already handled on God's end. Of course, I don't didn't know if that fits with Catholic teaching, but I looked it up and apparently penance actually is the confession itself. Psalm 103 was how the priest instructed you to ask God for grace, not what got you grace.

 

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

 

"1445: The words bind and loose* mean: whomever you exclude from your communion, will be excluded from communion with God; whomever you receive anew into your communion, God will welcome back into his. Reconciliation with the Church is inseparable from reconciliation with God."

 

*Matthew 16:19

 

Of course I kid. Good Catholics follow all the rules. The best Catholics take it all in stride with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor.

 

And it's clear to me (at least personally) that the whole process is the penance. The reason I accept that I "need" the Church to reconcile with God is that anyone can say. "Oops. I sinned. Sorry God. I'll try harder." and go on back to sinning. But are you sorry enough to examine your conscience, go into a church, and sit across from an old man in a sound proof room and admit what you've done, and accept and perform whatever penance is given to you? Are you willing to fess up and do the work to fix your relationship with God? If not, then maybe you're not sorry enough.

 

The penance I was given was merely as guidance to solidify the lesson that God forgives all and we are all worthy of his forgiveness, which is what Psalm 103 is about. Because the other side of the sacrament of reconciliation is that we never again repeat the behavior (or at least get better at preventing it or do it less frequently, etc. to improve).

 

So I think the penance is mostly to finalize the lesson and aim the penitent in the right direction, which is back toward communion with God. It completes the act of reconciliation.

 

2 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

Lutheran doctrine says it doesn't matter what you do, it'll never be enough to get grace, because humans can never do enough to deserve or earn it We're a lost cause that way. It's called "grace" because it's given to us despite that, and we do "penance"to express our gratitude for this generous gift.

 

Assuming I remember this correctly, that is. It's been a couple of decades. :) 

 

Ouch. That's harsh.

 

For Catholics it's all about constant cleansing and returning to the state of grace and communion with God. Basically, we're Lutheran until we're baptised (which removes original sin), but we have to confess to cleanse ourselves of personal sins, especially mortal sins. Then we can receive communion and are reunited with God. Although, we rarely, if ever, perfect this union (the conversion toward God) so we have to continually repent.

 

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I've been working really hard. Like a lot of 11-12 hour nights. So I've been tending to not go to sleep until 6 am, then wake up at like 2:30 pm, and I haven't had much time for yoga, lunch prep, etc.

 

My weight is now down to around 260 (started the year at 272), and I've lost half an inch on all my measurements. Not bad.

 

I'm still making and eating a lot of bread. The good news is, doing it all by hand (no mixers) you burn quite a few calories making it.

 

I had dinner with the family (pre- St. Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage) and got to see my nephew today. Things seem more relaxed with the family. My sister is doing well as a new Mom. My Mom is a super excited new Grandma. My step-Dad is excited to be a Granddad, and has mellowed out quite a bit. And I'm grateful for all of that.

 

Okay. I'm really just waiting for the next challenge to roll around at this point. But, I'm probably just gonna continue the same goals, so I might as well finish up week five strong, then regroup/reorganize things a bit.

 

Goals:

Yoga:

I did none this week. So I'm just hoping I can get back on yoga this week. Just gotta get at least two sessions in.

 

Lunch Prep:

Hmm. Forgot I dropped this as a goal. But it really should be back on here, so let's bring lunch every day this week eh?

 

To-do list:

I organized my art supplies last weekend, and that was it 😕 

This weekend I managed to do nothing at all. :(

The stuff that remains, I can do in a couple of hours, probably, next weekend tho. So wish me luck.

Cleaning goals (cuz cleanliness is Godliness)

Clean Bedroom: Clean floor/organize under bed storage, Organize the piles of books, clear out storage bins

Clean Bathroom: The whole thing, but mostly that damn tub

Clean office: Organize art supplies in emptied out storage bins, organize more books, increase visible floor space

Clean kitchen: Yes, even behind the stove

Clean Living Room: Tidy Once,  Tidy up storage shelf1

 

 

Lenten Goals: (spoilered, lest I become a zealot)



 

Mindfulness/Meditation/Prayer: 

I've been praying the Rosary almost daily. And I committed the Nicene creed to memory.

This week I'm going to work on memorizing 'The Apostles' Creed' and the 'Hail Holy Queen'

 

Sacrifice,

Fasting: Not going hardcore/oldschool on this. It affects my work. I made a few mistakes over the last couple weeks. I'm pretty sure I can chalk those up to being tired, hungry, and unfocussed. My only obligations are to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and abstain from meat on Fridays. That is enough.

 

For Lent I am giving up:

Coffee and energy drinks -- I am still rocking this. Though, I'm drinking a lot of decaf and diet soda, but at least I'm not burning up my adrenal glands with whole pots of coffee or energy drinks. And I appreciate the benefits of cutting back. Overall, I feel calmer.

Video streaming services and social media: These are all still blocked. I can access them for one hour (between 4 and 5 am) and only used amazon once to order some stuff for work. But that is all.

 

Reading:

Exodus, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, The Acts

The Catechism 300 / 756 pp.

 

I got a lot more reading done. Two more Gospels and a bit more of Exodus and another 120 or so pages of the Catechism
 

Lenten To-do's

If I'm taking this seriously, I have to re-establish my state of grace and take communion.

Examination of the Conscience:

Reconciliation (aka confession): Schedule a meeting with the pastor, go to meeting with the pastor

Penance

Attend Mass and receive the Eucharist

All done! But I do need to go back to confession. I took the Lord's name in vain a couple times, and my head is basically an never-ending stream of impure thoughts. So...

 

I didn't go to church this weekend. Our bishop called off our obligation to attend because of the coronavirus, and I was feeling pretty meh about going this weekend. But I made an online contribution to the church's collections just cuz.

 

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