• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Defining

Defining Discovers the Wall is a Mountain

Recommended Posts

Defining thinks back to the first time she really SAW the wall. It was high, and formidable....but she could see handholds, and sun peaking over the top. Now, she is tired, barely clinging to a crack in the stone, and a drizzle of rain makes everything slippery to grasp. Heaving herself up onto a shelf, Defining discovers something both wonderous and intimidating: the wall is actually a mountain. It is not STRAIGHT up (good thing, else she'd never manage to climb it), but replete with plateaus and crags, lees and ledges. There are places to take brief respite, and other challenging slopes where nothing but a sprinting explosive effort will take her to the next hold. Fortunately, the sun will come and go as it rotates around the mountain while days pass, and even the rain will pass with the season. Defining takes a breath, rejigs her mindset, and pulls out some gear to set up a belay and harness.

 

566771034_download(11).gif.27a2c0173085b5039ab9695cef009cd8.gif

 

I am unhappy with my progress on my quarterly goals thus far for 2020 (I know, I know, it's only Feb, but that's more than 12% of the year done!!!). The first 4 weeks of the year were fine, even with stress creeping up towards the end of it. But I totally dropped the ball for the last couple of weeks, and I don't actually have a good reason to have done so. I still have time to work on my goals, and I'm not feeling physically tired....I just, didn't do the stuff I told myself that I would.

 

I look forward to 'scaling my mountain' this year, especially while keeping in mind that progress will go in waves, and I'll always find a little sun spot or two. But I need to set up some contingency systems to catch myself when I slip or fall. Some of those lanyards will actually dovetail with my annual goals, including self-enforcing daily routines and some consistency with eating & exercise. But I feel like I need another system that will give me better feedback for when I start to slide backwards a bit. Not sure what that'll look like yet.

 

In terms of my actual challenge goals:

1) continue to run at least once a week, in addition to my conditioning work with rowing/skipping to keep me engaged; more than 2x a week please!

2) skipping ahead in my annual goals, I might set up a checklist or 'gold star' colour coded system of some kind for a visual cue on what needs doing/has been done

3) give myself permission to have 'sprint' days where I pick ONE thing to do and just focus on that for the day (eg. work, ongoing course stuff, organising, etc.)

4) focus on weekly productivity rather than daily 'small habits', to permit better flexibility to accommodate changing energy levels and my work schedule that is ever in flux

5) try, as best as possible, not to regress on things that I've already 'established': eg. weight lifting, eating well, wake up/bedtime routines, etc.

 

1970488421_download(11).gif.7063e0e91561aba8d6eff0cbc720ed1d.gif

 

Let's go.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did anything change between when you were following your goals and when you weren't? Did your motivation peter out gradually, or did you miss a day and not manage to start again once the chain was broken?

There are a couple different systems I have tried out to stay consistent but whether they work seems to depend on why you struggle in the first place. 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

Did anything change between when you were following your goals and when you weren't? Did your motivation peter out gradually, or did you miss a day and not manage to start again once the chain was broken?

No, just stress piling on and general life stuff. I have no motivation: my goals for this year are intended to be accomplished without needing to find a 'why', beyond 'this is what I should be doing'.

 

30 minutes ago, Jupiter said:

Here for this. You got this! :) 

You rock, thanks. :) 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

H'okie dokie, I have a few things I'm gonna try, see what happens:

 

Force myself to eat breakfast: I hate eating in the morning, but even while using meal replacement shakes and alarm reminders for mealtimes what I'm doing right now isn't working. My thought process is that if I get some real sustenance into me first thing, it'll both be a new 'cue' to be more productive in my mornings, and may also help jumpstart my hunger signals into something more regular again.

 

967745109_download(17).gif.c49e20af41ba884c5d818d13b5e80a38.gif

 

 

Grab a laminate grid/calendar & colour dots from the dollar store, and I'll put together some kind of 'quota' system for myself that I can add stuff as I do it. I feel ridiculous treating myself like a toddler in this sense, but I don't know if it'll work until I try it, so I'm taking my judgy-pants off until I give this a solid try.

 

The important thing for me right now is to keep moving (both literally and figuratively), and not to permit myself to settle back into complacency or inaction.

 

download.gif.f7a18419016bc158a5a1f371ca306282.gif

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Defining said:

Grab a laminate grid/calendar & colour dots from the dollar store, and I'll put together some kind of 'quota' system for myself that I can add stuff as I do it. I feel ridiculous treating myself like a toddler in this sense, but I don't know if it'll work until I try it, so I'm taking my judgy-pants off until I give this a solid try.

 

I think it's a great thing to try. Stuff like that is very motivating to me.

 

On 2/14/2020 at 10:23 AM, Defining said:

I have no motivation: my goals for this year are intended to be accomplished without needing to find a 'why', beyond 'this is what I should be doing'.

 

I'm not sure exactly what you mean (because it's hard to tell in this format, not because there is anything wrong with what you wrote). I think maybe you mean that you think it's sort of obvious things that are important to work on. They will help you be more productive at work (so you can make financial goals or work toward some career goal) and they will help your health etc etc. I imagine there is a motivation for all of them, but maybe you doing really need to dig into it too much.

 

But do you mean you are lacking motivation in general? One thing that can help is to somehow make it more fun (the stickers are one way to do that). Rewards can be really helpful too...

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I get what you mean. You don't want to have to think about the bigger picture and psych yourself up every day. You just want to do the things that need to be done without fuss.

 

The quota system sounds promising. Something you can refer to to just get things done. 

 

Edit: While I am thinking of it, what was the name of the whey protein you recommended?  It made the best protein pancakes.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Jupiter said:

Sounds like a solid plan. :) 

:angel:

 

1 hour ago, Kestrel Grey said:

Edit: While I am thinking of it, what was the name of the whey protein you recommended?  It made the best protein pancakes.

It's the grassfed unflavoured unsweetened concentrate from canadianprotein.com; I typically just get 5kg at a time, and also order creatine and psyllium from them, so it's free shipping too. ;) 

 

2 hours ago, Xena said:

I'm not sure exactly what you mean (because it's hard to tell in this format, not because there is anything wrong with what you wrote). I think maybe you mean that you think it's sort of obvious things that are important to work on. They will help you be more productive at work (so you can make financial goals or work toward some career goal) and they will help your health etc etc. I imagine there is a motivation for all of them, but maybe you doing really need to dig into it too much.

 

But do you mean you are lacking motivation in general? One thing that can help is to somehow make it more fun (the stickers are one way to do that). Rewards can be really helpful too...

In this case, I truly DGAF about my goals for myself; accomplishing them will give me no satisfaction, beyond the fact that they need to be done. I know that I need to keep myself healthy to prevent hassle in the future. I know I need to be financially self-sufficient into my retirement so as not to be a burden on people who care about me, therefore I make plans for work/career longevity. I need to declutter the house because it's better to do it piecemeal at my leisure rather than in a rush because g-d forbid something happened to my mum and we needed to deal with the whole house at once in a short timeframe (which was truly driven home when my grandmother passed and we needed to go through ALL THE STUFF). I need to work on my listening skills because that needs improving for work, and I need to have something else to focus on other than work (ie. learning & reading - within reason-, plus the dogs) so that I don't become so effing bored that I stop bothering to do ANYTHING.

 

I understand that being disengaged and indifferent towards my own wellbeing isn't a healthy frame of mind, so I am crossing stuff off the list to make sure that my lifestyle and life in general have 'checked the boxes' before I try to reevaluate potential solutions. Rewards & 'fun' aren't really useful drivers to get stuff done, based on my past experience; systems, schedules, and checklists work though. I'm also trying out some 'novel stimulus' goalposts, which may/may not help.

 

I do appreciate everyone's input, and I'm not wanting to be dismissive or a downer; I'm just not interesting in trying to find something that energises/motivates me anymore. I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly waiting for a lightbulb to turn on. This is a new 'cart before the horse' approach I'm trying for the year, since trying to find a 'reason' (or abiding interest) hasn't worked for me for the last...oh, decade or two?

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Defining said:

I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly waiting for a lightbulb to turn on. This is a new 'cart before the horse' approach I'm trying for the year, since trying to find a 'reason' (or abiding interest) hasn't worked for me for the last...oh, decade or two?


Gosh, this is so relatable. When the inside-out approach works, it really works. But most of the time it’s hard to conjure up the motivation or the “big why” to hit goals. I think the outside-in approach is so good for times like that. Do the things; the mind will follow. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/15/2020 at 11:06 PM, Defining said:

I do appreciate everyone's input, and I'm not wanting to be dismissive or a downer; I'm just not interesting in trying to find something that energises/motivates me anymore. I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly waiting for a lightbulb to turn on. This is a new 'cart before the horse' approach I'm trying for the year, since trying to find a 'reason' (or abiding interest) hasn't worked for me for the last...oh, decade or two?

 

I don't think you are dismissive or a downer. Yeah, the challenges don't have to be magical experiences. Some of it is just straight-up work.

I think you do have reasons (and you articulated them really well above). They just aren't making you feel super hyped up, and that makes complete sense to me. Life is life, and you are living it as best you can.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/14/2020 at 7:23 AM, Defining said:

I have no motivation: my goals for this year are intended to be accomplished without needing to find a 'why', beyond 'this is what I should be doing'.

 

Do you know the book The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden? Essentially he spends the whole book ringing changes on this theme:

 

Quote

Most people are confused about the source of motivation. They think motivation is the spark that automatically produces lasting eagerness to do hard work; the greater the motivation, the more effort you’re willing to put in.

 

Actually, motivation is a result. Motivation is the pride you take in work you have already done—which fuels your willingness to do even more.

 

He goes on to suggest that disciplined routine and processes are far better tools than fickle motivation for achieving things in life. From this perspective it looks like you're totally on the right track with your challenge :) 

 

Good luck!

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, oromendur said:

Do you know the book The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden? 

I've read it, t'was interesting. I don't think that I recognise pride in my accomplishments either, to be perfectly honest; but I could be wrong and just applying different language. At any rate, thanks for sharing!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, oromendur said:

 

Do you know the book The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden? Essentially he spends the whole book ringing changes on this theme:

 

Most people are confused about the source of motivation. They think motivation is the spark that automatically produces lasting eagerness to do hard work; the greater the motivation, the more effort you’re willing to put in.

 

Actually, motivation is a result. Motivation is the pride you take in work you have already done—which fuels your willingness to do even more.

 

He goes on to suggest that disciplined routine and processes are far better tools than fickle motivation for achieving things in life. 

 

 

I have never thought of it this way, this is cool. I might have to check this book out. :) 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Defining said:

OK, this is either imbecilic, or genius. I suppose only time will tell.

 

Try It!-min.jpg

 

I think this is very creative and colorful. I like it.

Just like you, I am still figuring it out... I have a 4 ft x 3 ft monthly dry erase wall calendar which I always end up neglecting halfway through the month. This is for Seinfeld's idea of checking something off everyday. Keep the chain going! Then, I have a smaller calendar on my fridge which has the food plan that I never follow. Beside it is a weekly/hour-based calendar to supposedly track where time flies when I'm wasting it and it's totally blank. A couple of push boards for shopping lists that I have already bought, sticky notes recipes. I also have a 4x6 planner where I stick some of those polaroid sticky back photos last updated the first week of Jan. Then, google calendar with 3 sub-calendars which seems to be most updated, Penzu online diary for  gratitude journal and plus a real glass gratitude jar with slips of papers which seems to work better than the Penzu. Xodo PDF editable planner whose last entry was the first week of Jan. Then, Excel sheet for the NF challenges. I have a separate notebook/vision board which I should really revisit. Yes, it is messy. There is something in each that fulfills a creative or specific tracking need. It is a work in progress. We will eventually find a system that works but we might have to mess with a lot of frogs to find the right one.

  • Wow 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Oh yeah! Coloured cubes! I"m excited! WHERE DO THE CUBES GO? 

I ran into that very issue earlier today! For now, I'm using a reject piece from when I attempted glassblowing (a decade ago? shit, I'm getting old....):

 

 

IMG_20200219_193006-01-min.jpeg

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Defining said:

I ran into that very issue earlier today! For now, I'm using a reject piece from when I attempted glassblowing (a decade ago? shit, I'm getting old....):

 

Is that where they go when you do the things, or do they start there and go back in the box when you do the things? This is important.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Harriet said:

Is that where they go when you do the things, or do they start there and go back in the box when you do the things? This is important.

This is where they go when I do the things. They stay in the box if it is not done, and at the end of the week I will tally up what is left in the box.

 

 

Why, wait, should it be the other way around?!?!? 🤔

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Defining said:

This is where they go when I do the things. They stay in the box if it is not done, and at the end of the week I will tally up what is left in the box.

 

 

Why, wait, should it be the other way around?!?!? 🤔

 

Yes! Because the boxes are labelled. In the glass, the colours mix chaotically. It should be the other way around: chaos becomes order. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Harriet said:

Yes! Because the boxes are labelled. In the glass, the colours mix chaotically. It should be the other way around: chaos becomes order. 

LOL, I might try it that way next week. For now, I'll stick with the box being the starting point; I kinda like the idea of having a 'pile of accomplishment' at the end of the week. Nothing to say I can't try both as time goes on!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.