starsapart tries to recalibrate

[starsapart]

 

Hi gang! My name is starsapart and I have anxiety! (No, you don't have to act surprised.) I'm an extrovert stuck in my house with a stir crazy baby and nearly every tool I generally use to manage my mental health is out of reach, so needless to say, I need to figure out a new way of existing pretty darn fast. BUT WE'RE NOT HERE TO WHINE, NO. Instead, I'm focusing my challenge on basic things that I think will help my structure-loving brain get through this uncertain time and hopefully come out the other end with my sanity (and also hopefully my strength and flexibility) intact.

 

Last challenge, my goals went out the window. This challenge, I want a little more flexibility, so I think my goals will be stackable and I'll take them week by week, with adjustments as necessary. I'm also starting immediately, in zero week, because I need to stop the anxiety spiral now, and not a week from now. Okay, here we go.

 

GOAL 1: DON'T BE A SAD COUCH POTATO

• Week 0: Move every day. Anything goes. I hope I'll lift and use the rig, but honestly, a walk with starlet counts. Just... don't sit on my butt and feel sorry for myself. Cool? Cool. 
• Week 1: Move every day and lift twice a week. Adding on. You have weights. Use them, you fool.
• Week 2: Move every day, lift twice a week, condition spinning once a week. Adding on. Spin on hoop once a week, though honestly silks are fine, too. Use the rig, stars.
• Week 3: Move every day, lift twice a week, aerial conditioning once a week, HIIT videos three times a week. Adding on. Do short HIIT videos, ideally with my wife, three times a week (they are 10-15 minutes long).
• Week 4: Move every day, lift twice a week, aerial twice a week, HIIT videos twice a week. Putting aerial back in as the weather is better; cutting HIIT down to compansate.
• Week 5: TBD

 

GOAL 2: DON'T (OVER)FEED THE ANXIETY DEMON

• Week 0: Intermittent fasting. Okay, so I need the comfort food right now to keep from screaming. But only from 11am to 7pm.
• Week 1: Intermittent fasting and less junk. Stick with the IF, eat no more than two junky snacks a day. If I really need another snack, I can have some carrots or something. Come on, self.
• Week 2: Intermittent fasting and less junk. Do what you did in week one, only better.
• Week 3: Intermittent fasting, less junk, deficit five days a week. Do what you did in week two, only better and at a deficit.
• Week 4: Intermittent fasting, less junk, deficit four days a week. Do better than week three, for goodness' sake.
• Week 5: TBD

 

GOAL 3: GET OUT

• Week 0: Get outside daily. Take the baby for a walk. Do yardwork. Use the rig. Sit on the backyard chair swing and contemplate the end of the world as we know it. Whatever. If it snows, you get a pass.
• Week 1: Get outside daily and fix up the yard. Get out every week AND do something to fix up the yard at least twice a week.
• Week 2: Get outside daily and spend a little time on the chair swing most nights. The yard is pretty much fixed up. Get outside in the evenings and decompress, unless you have social plans online.
• Week 3: Get outside daily when possible. Shrinking the goal to accommodate bad weather.
• Week 4: Get outside daily. No additional factors as I will hopefully be doing outdoor aerial a couple days a week.
• Week 5: TBD

 

GOAL 4: LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE

• Week 0: Daily positivity. Every day that I post here, I need to mention one good thing that happened that day. Skipping weekends is okay if I don't get online and can't remember what happened, but I need to try.
• Week 1: Daily positivity. This one works so well as it is that I'm keeping it as is.
• Week 2: Daily positivity. This one works so well as it is that I'm keeping it as is.
• Week 3: Daily positivity. This one works so well as it is that I'm keeping it as is.
• Week 4: Daily positivity. This one works so well as it is that I'm keeping it as is.
• Week 5: TBD

 

 

Okay, come back here for more ridiculous Galavant gifs (because they make me happy) and hopefully some actual training, once I stop my current mental freefall. Let's do this!

 

[starsapart]

 

WEEK 0

• Movement: 6/7 

• Nutrition:   5/7 

• Outside time: 7/7

• Positivity: 7/7

 

WEEK 1

• Exercise:
  • Movement: 7/7
  • Lifting: 2/2

• Nutrition:

  • IF:   6/7 

  • Limited snacks:   5/7

• Outside time:

  • Get fresh air: 6/6

  • Yard work: 3/2

• Positivity: 7/7

 

WEEK 2

• Exercise:
  • Movement: 7/7
  • Lifting: 2/2
  • Spinning: 1/1

• Nutrition:

  • IF:   7/7 

  • Limited snacks:   5/7

• Outside time:

  • Get fresh air: 7/7

  • Chair swing: 7/7

• Positivity: 7/7

 

 

WEEK 3

• Exercise:
  • Movement: 6/7
  • Lifting: 2/2
  • Aerial conditioning: 1/1
  • HIIT: 2/3

• Nutrition:

  • IF:   4/7 

  • Limited snacks:   5/7

  • Deficit: 3/5

• Outside time:

  • Get fresh air: 4/4

• Positivity: 7/7

 

 

WEEK 4

• Exercise
  • Movement: 3/7 
  • Lifting: 1/2
  • Aerial: 1/2
  • HIIT: 3/2

• Nutrition

  • IF: 3/7

  • Limited snacks: 3/7 

  • Deficit: 1/4

• Outside time

  • Get fresh air: 5/7

• Positivity: 4/7

[starsapart]

WEEK 0, DAY 1

• Movement: ✔️ 

• IF: ✔️ 

• Outside time: ✔️ 

• Positivity: I got to see my dad! Through a window at 12 feet apart, but still, IN PERSON! He came to drop off some stuff and we got to say hi through the window screen. It was really nice to see him, and he seems to be feeling better.

The snow had mostly melted, so I took starlet for a walk in the afternoon, thus taking care of movement and outside time in one go. I definitely ate chocolate peanut butter ice cream and pirogi (fresh baked goods were among the things my father dropped off; how could I resist?), but at least I did it inside my eating window. I got all the laundry done and reorganized starlet's playroom, swapping out the toys she'd been playing with for the week for new ones (some new-to-her hand-me downs, some new that she got for her birthday, some old ones that had been in storage for a week or two). She had two great developmental moments yesterday: we finally got her to drink out of a sippy cup with a straw, which has been an ongoing challenge, and she seems to have figured out her ring stacker and can actually get the ring back onto the base of the toy about half the time. (She also screamed or whined 80% of the time when awake, and took a really lousy nap, but we can't have everything.)

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following for baby solidarity.

[starsapart]

2 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following for baby solidarity.

 

You will always find plenty of that here. Parents of small kids are playing the apocalypse on a harder mode than people who can just chill out and watch Netflix for sure. 😅

[dancezwithkittehz]

❤️ you frennnnn. Following as always!

[Mad Hatter]

1 hour ago, starsapart said:

Parents of small kids are playing the apocalypse on a harder mode than people who can just chill out and watch Netflix for sure. 😅

For sure, I'm so impressed with all of you. Initially I thought I had it bad as living on my own can get a bit lonely. But truth be told, had I had a partner and/or family I'd probably already be at the divorce stage at this point. 😄

 

3 hours ago, starsapart said:

I definitely ate chocolate peanut butter ice cream and pirogi (fresh baked goods were among the things my father dropped off; how could I resist?)

Yummm. You couldn't. 

[shaar]

I am herre for you and also to remind you that YOU ARE DOING GREAT OK, Everything is Bizarre and you are soldiering onward no matter what!!! ❤️❤️ 

[Strickland5]

Totally here for this 

[starsapart]

5 hours ago, dancezwithkittehz said:

❤️ you frennnnn. Following as always!

 

Yay! Waiting for your challenge though...

 

 

4 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

For sure, I'm so impressed with all of you. Initially I thought I had it bad as living on my own can get a bit lonely. But truth be told, had I had a partner and/or family I'd probably already be at the divorce stage at this point. 😄

 

Yummm. You couldn't. 

 

I mean, I get along well with my spouse and we're not losing it with each other (much? yet?), but you can't explain the necessity of quarantine to a baby.

 

I regret nothing. Today it was oladushki. Soon I'll run out of Russian comfort food and get back to eating semi-sensibly, maybe.

 

2 hours ago, loire said:

I am herre for you and also to remind you that YOU ARE DOING GREAT OK, Everything is Bizarre and you are soldiering onward no matter what!!! ❤️❤️ 

 

THANK YOU I AM TRYING.

 

44 minutes ago, Strickland5 said:

Totally here for this 

 

OMG, it's been a minute! Hi! Good to see you!

 

[Strickland5]

1 minute ago, starsapart said:

OMG, it's been a minute! Hi! Good to see you!

 

 

Weeee! Glad to be seen and to see you too 

[KB Girl]

This seems like a good and sensible challenge. Also here for parenting solidarity.

 

Everytime I see someone at the window I start bawling. Can’t really explain why ppl don’t come inside to a 3yo either. But I’m really glad you enjoyed seeing your dad and that you’re enjoying the comfort food. 

[raptron]

Omgggg, I love Galavant. ❤️ 

 

And I love that you're spending another challenge with us! 

[Mike Wazowski]

Here for you, friend!!!

Also, I *keep* forgetting to message you either here or through email, but as a fellow cooped-up extrovert, I'm 100% down for virtual teatime, if you're interested!

[starsapart]

20 hours ago, Strickland5 said:

 

Weeee! Glad to be seen and to see you too 

 

I can do this all day, absolutely.

 

 

8 hours ago, KB Girl said:

This seems like a good and sensible challenge. Also here for parenting solidarity.

 

Everytime I see someone at the window I start bawling. Can’t really explain why ppl don’t come inside to a 3yo either. But I’m really glad you enjoyed seeing your dad and that you’re enjoying the comfort food. 

 

Yeah, seeing someone at the window is sad. Not seeing anyone is also sad. I don't know. It's just hard to exist right now.

 

5 hours ago, raptron said:

Omgggg, I love Galavant. ❤️ 

 

And I love that you're spending another challenge with us! 

 

BEST CANCELED SHOW EVER. THERE, I SAID IT. FIGHT ME, WORLD.

 

I'm back for good, really really I am. I need a social circle now more than ever and I love you guys.

 

5 hours ago, Mike Wazowski said:

Here for you, friend!!!

Also, I *keep* forgetting to message you either here or through email, but as a fellow cooped-up extrovert, I'm 100% down for virtual teatime, if you're interested!

 

Ooooooh YES, please let's! Send me an email, we can figure out whether it makes sense to connect on FB for Messenger or on WhatsApp.

 

 

 

 

WEEK 0, DAY 2

• Movement: ✔️ 

• IF: ✔️ 

• Outside time: ✔️ 

• Positivity: I did aerial! Getting on the lyra felt great and really made me feel much more like myself.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Our lyra instructor (you know, the one who was in the scene with me in that show that I'm now worried will never, ever get performed) is completely without an income, but hey! We have an outdoor rig! So we had him over for a lesson outside, keeping a distance. He brought my lyra back to me!!!! We did all touch the lyra, but made sure not to touch our faces and scrubbed down after the lesson (and changed clothes, in our case). He did come in via the house, which is not ideal (I'm going to insist on the backyard gate next time), but I feel pretty okay about it given the precautions we took. I'd like to keep having him over on good weather days once a week or so to give him some money and get some lyra practice in. And I learned a really cool new inverted split!

 

 

(Please appreciate my Atomic Mom socks. starlet's birth mama sent me those as a gift.)

 

In any case, active time and outdoor time combined again, and although I made oladushki (kinda like mini pancakes?) for dinner, at least I managed to stick to IF still. AND we got our free trial of Acorn TV set up, so we were able to watch Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears after starlet was in bed! I've been so excited for that movie. It wasn't nearly as magical as the series, sadly, but I still had a great time with it (and I still want everything Phryne wears, forever).

 

Honestly, yesterday was a legitimately Good Day, the first in a while. I felt emotionally better than I had in a week.

 

Schedule says I am supposed to lift today, but my uterus is exploding, so that's going to be rough. Ah well.

[KB Girl]

That does sound very good  

And that inverted split looks incredible! It’s great that you can help support your teacher a bit this way. 

[Mad Hatter]

 I know I've said it before but your splits are gorgeous! 😍So happy you had a good day.

[starsapart]

4 hours ago, KB Girl said:

That does sound very good  

And that inverted split looks incredible! It’s great that you can help support your teacher a bit this way. 

 

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 I know I've said it before but your splits are gorgeous! 😍So happy you had a good day.

 

Thanks! I have limited back flexibility and my middle split is laughable, but my front splits and forward hinge (pike, pancake, etc) really are pretty great, and I am proud of them. ☺️

[WhiteGhost]

On 3/24/2020 at 12:03 AM, starsapart said:

we finally got her to drink out of a sippy cup with a straw

We really struggled for the longest time getting Ghostlet to drink out of a sippy cup at all when he was tiny, but for some reason he never once had trouble drinking from a regular water bottle.  The tiny opening on the top is way more kid friendly than those ones with huge openings on top that seem like they are designed to spill our the side of the kids mouth. Plus the narrow circumference is perfect for kid sized hands

 

I do remember the first time he figured out how a straw works by handing him a McDonald's milkshake  

[starsapart]

WEEK 0, DAY 3

• Movement: ✔️ 

• IF: ✔️ 

• Outside time: ✔️ 

• Positivity: We had a really nice dinner as a family with the window open and it felt like a normal spring day for a minute.

Lifting did not happen, because my body decided to be fully debilitated with cramps. I did take starlet on a walk in the afternoon and even let her crawl around the grass in the park (well away from other people). There were quite a few people out for walks yesterday, probably just as stir crazy as us and just as thrilled for the nice weather. I had to work hard not to scream at a giant crew of teenagers playing contact sports and talking really loudly about how "dumb" the quarantine is and how they don't give a shit about actually following it and how their parents think they went out for jogs solo. You have to understand, I was like 20 feet from them and still heard this conversation.

 

On a lighter note, I did my initial character build for the DnD campaign that @Strickland5 is kindly running for a few of us homebound nerds and I'm getting really excited to give it a go! I've never done that genre of RP before (I grew up on forum and journal-based written RP), but it seems like a nice distraction. We have a lot of time zones represented, but I'm really hoping we can have one collaborative session with everyone (maybe even on video?) every week or two, because it would really help my social little heart.

[shaar]

So glad to hear you are having some good days!!! ❤️ 

 

Oh man character builds are SO FUN, my last Starfinder character was a space teenager that ran away from her rich as heck space family because she wanted more freedom and she pretty much had a private Instagram she sold access to some shady weapons dealer to to get some guns, and when we beat the final Big Bad we all went to space Coachella.

[starsapart]

3 hours ago, loire said:

So glad to hear you are having some good days!!! ❤️ 

 

Oh man character builds are SO FUN, my last Starfinder character was a space teenager that ran away from her rich as heck space family because she wanted more freedom and she pretty much had a private Instagram she sold access to some shady weapons dealer to to get some guns, and when we beat the final Big Bad we all went to space Coachella.

 

This pretty much sounds like perfect escapism.

[dancezwithkittehz]

I MADE MY CHALLENGE so you can stop heckling me ❤️

 

[Scaly Freak]

On 3/25/2020 at 9:00 AM, starsapart said:

On a lighter note, I did my initial character build for the DnD campaign that @Strickland5 is kindly running for a few of us homebound nerds and I'm getting really excited to give it a go! I've never done that genre of RP before (I grew up on forum and journal-based written RP), but it seems like a nice distraction. We have a lot of time zones represented, but I'm really hoping we can have one collaborative session with everyone (maybe even on video?) every week or two, because it would really help my social little heart.

 

Once the campaign is up and running, we should try and schedule something. Even if we can't have voice or video it will still be fun to be able to RP in real-time.  

[raptron]

On 3/25/2020 at 11:00 AM, starsapart said:

I had to work hard not to scream at a giant crew of teenagers playing contact sports and talking really loudly about how "dumb" the quarantine is and how they don't give a shit about actually following it and how their parents think they went out for jogs solo. You have to understand, I was like 20 feet from them and still heard this conversation.

Gross. 

On 3/25/2020 at 11:00 AM, starsapart said:

On a lighter note, I did my initial character build for the DnD campaign that @Strickland5 is kindly running for a few of us homebound nerds and I'm getting really excited to give it a go! I've never done that genre of RP before (I grew up on forum and journal-based written RP), but it seems like a nice distraction. We have a lot of time zones represented, but I'm really hoping we can have one collaborative session with everyone (maybe even on video?) every week or two, because it would really help my social little heart.

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