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KB Girl looks on the bright side


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On 4/1/2020 at 12:22 AM, Scalyfreak said:

Tomorrow will feel better again.

It did a little bit! 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 6:51 AM, Mad Hatter said:

Huuuuuugs! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you ❤️

 

On 4/1/2020 at 12:34 PM, zenLara said:

Hasn't your government organised financial help for small businesses? :(

They have.. there are several things in the works for it- but through some stupid quirk of fate we don't qualify for most of it. I won't bore you with the details... they're drowning in paperwork right now I'm sure, so perhaps when things calm down a bit they'll hear our case. 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 4:52 PM, starsapart said:

This all sounds so hard. I'm so sorry. Doing it on limited sleep with a newborn is life on nightmare mode for sure (even without a pandemic, I was breaking down sobbing regularly when starlet was really little because the sleep deprivation had completely thrown my emotional control out the window).

 

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My sister-in-law, whom I adore, was in the hospital with a fever of 41C several days ago and it was so scary. And I've cried at least 4 times so far about missing my mom since this all started. I feel you so hard. Solidarity.

 

Oh man I know.. it's good to have people here who know the feeling! It's really that lack of emotional control.. at least Jaap really knows whats going on now and I'm making him sleep in a separate room so that one of us has actual emotional control and patience and non-craziness. 



I hope your sister in law is doing much better? thanks for all the solidarity, it's really good to know I'm not the only one wanting my mom. 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 5:53 PM, Elastigirl said:

Hugs, this is hard. Glad you were able to cry a bit, and Emma could comfort you. That was good for her to see that even mommys are sometimes sad. Praying for you, and your sister.

Thank you! I'm glad you said that. I am trying to find that balance between definitely being the parent in control and still showing her that I have emotions too. 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 6:19 PM, Harriet said:

 

So sorry that things are hard and worrying. These two points are optimistic, though. It's nice you are close to your mum and that you can usually see her often. And hopefully all this annoying isolating will keep her and you and everyone safe. I hope your sister enjoys a rapid recovery. 

Thank you! I do try to find some silver linings. 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 10:12 PM, raptron said:

HUGS! Hope your sister's situation resolves quickly and safely. Emma is so sweet.

Thank you! She's out of the woods now! 

 

On 4/2/2020 at 3:39 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope things got better.

They got a little worse first, but then they got better! thank you! 

 

On 4/2/2020 at 6:52 AM, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

Congrats on the baby! I hope you are able to get some rest. I remember those days, though my youngest is 23 months now. 

Thanks :) you'll never quite forget it I reckon! 

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Well, the sister situation.. she developed severe sepsis, so it was scary.. but she's doing much much better now and might be able to go home in 1 or 2 days. 

 

Day 12

Jaap had to go to work so I was distracted from my misery by taking care of 2 kids. Emma wanted to make cookies, which was a bit of a puzzle since I'm having to avoid butter now. We ended up using lard.. which was... well it was okay, they tasted fine. I miss butter already. When Jaap got back home in the afternoon we went for a walk + a picknick. It was cold but nice out. 

 

Day 13

Things were starting to look up on the sister-front, Jaap gave me lots of hugs.. he went on a grocery run, so I had him bring me butter-less cookies and milk-less chocolate. We played games with Emma in the afternoon and then we decided to have our first family movie night. We watched Madagascar. I don't think Emma was really able to follow the story, but she did thoroughly enjoy the whole setup with mom and dad on the couch, popcorn and chocolate (oat) milk. 

 

Today (day 14) Sophie is 2 weeks old. I've almost stopped bleeding.. the breastfeeding still has its hurdles but they're manageable.. and I unconsciously got out of bed this morning without rolling over on my side first, so I think my abs are sort of functioning. Jaap and Emma have just gone to the woods, leaving me with a bit of free time... and I might actually try to do a laid back workout.. Maybe. Stay tuned ;)

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5 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Oh man I know.. it's good to have people here who know the feeling! It's really that lack of emotional control.. at least Jaap really knows whats going on now and I'm making him sleep in a separate room so that one of us has actual emotional control and patience and non-craziness. 

 

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I hope your sister in law is doing much better? thanks for all the solidarity, it's really good to know I'm not the only one wanting my mom. 
 

 

 

 

You're doing a great job given EVERYTHING.

 

Spoiler

They gave her a some other diagnosis (did not test for Covid, because they're literally saving those tests only for people who are at death's door), gave her antibiotics (which may or may not be effective) and sent her home. She seems to be doing better though... fever's down, anyway. We video chatted with her and she seemed to be recovering.

 

I'm glad your sister is doing better! You are, as always, kicking butt despite insane circumstances.

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7 hours ago, KB Girl said:

hank you! I'm glad you said that. I am trying to find that balance between definitely being the parent in control and still showing her that I have emotions too. 

 

That's a hard balance. Something I still struggle with even with my adult son.I found it hard to ask him to pray for me that I would have peace and not worry, because a part of me said if I said I was worried that might upset him (I ignored the voice though😉)Interesting story: last year when my mother in law had a heart attack and then stroke: The doctors were examining her and it was just my son and I sitting outside the hospital room. I really felt like I was going to start crying and not stop, and I thought, I can't I need to be strong for my son, and then I realized, wait he's an adult and part of the reason he's here is to be my support- so I told him how scared I was. I do wish I'd done that a bit more as he was growing up. Not to the extent I do as an adult, there is a balance, but just not always trying to be in control

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1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

I found it hard to ask him to pray for me that I would have peace and not worry, because a part of me said if I said I was worried that might upset him (I ignored the voice though😉)


I guess it's valuable for them to see you utilising coping strategies. Much better than them merely sensing the anxiety but no one talking about it.

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7 minutes ago, Harriet said:


I guess it's valuable for them to see you utilising coping strategies. Much better than them merely sensing the anxiety but no one talking about it.

 

Personally, I am deeply grateful to my parents for teaching me, by simply being who they are, that adults also struggle, get scared or anxious, disagree with each other, and sometimes need help. There's a lot of value later in life from learning from early childhood, that it actually is not possible for anyone to be perfect. :) 

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51 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

Personally, I am deeply grateful to my parents for teaching me, by simply being who they are, that adults also struggle, get scared or anxious, disagree with each other, and sometimes need help. There's a lot of value later in life from learning from early childhood, that it actually is not possible for anyone to be perfect. :) 

 

My father taught me to cope with anxiety by planning in order to identify and avoid every single thing that could possibly go wrong, and analysing social interactions to see how I could manage other people's reactions and avoid making them angry. Hahahahahahaha thanks dad. 

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9 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I'm so glad your sister is better, that's terrifying!

How do you feel about carrot cake? Lots of recipes use oil as the fat.

I've never had it! Might be time to try, thanks for the idea :)

 

5 hours ago, starsapart said:

 

You're doing a great job given EVERYTHING.

 

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They gave her a some other diagnosis (did not test for Covid, because they're literally saving those tests only for people who are at death's door), gave her antibiotics (which may or may not be effective) and sent her home. She seems to be doing better though... fever's down, anyway. We video chatted with her and she seemed to be recovering.

 

I'm glad your sister is doing better! You are, as always, kicking butt despite insane circumstances.

Glad they're both doing better ❤️

and thank you so much!

 

4 hours ago, Harriet said:

Glad your sister is doing better. And your abs :) Movie with the whole family sounds snuggly and delightful.

You can't really appreciate abs until you've done without them for a bit! :D

 

3 hours ago, zenLara said:

So glad to hear your sister is better. Sepsis is so scary :( Great that she'll be home soon.

Also nice to see you're recovering so fast!

Very scary! 

Thank you, I'm delighted too! 

 

2 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

That's a hard balance. Something I still struggle with even with my adult son.I found it hard to ask him to pray for me that I would have peace and not worry, because a part of me said if I said I was worried that might upset him (I ignored the voice though😉)Interesting story: last year when my mother in law had a heart attack and then stroke: The doctors were examining her and it was just my son and I sitting outside the hospital room. I really felt like I was going to start crying and not stop, and I thought, I can't I need to be strong for my son, and then I realized, wait he's an adult and part of the reason he's here is to be my support- so I told him how scared I was. I do wish I'd done that a bit more as he was growing up. Not to the extent I do as an adult, there is a balance, but just not always trying to be in control

Thank you for those stories :)

I'll continue to try finding that balance.. and I think it's good to show that we can help each other with these things.. I let her see Jaap comfort me and I let her comfort me. It's interesting to see that she uses the same methods that we use to comfort her. They really do learn from everything you do! She once asked me wether I wanted a magic kiss when I smashed my knee into a door. 

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:


I guess it's valuable for them to see you utilising coping strategies. Much better than them merely sensing the anxiety but no one talking about it.

Yes.. definitely.. 

 

54 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

Personally, I am deeply grateful to my parents for teaching me, by simply being who they are, that adults also struggle, get scared or anxious, disagree with each other, and sometimes need help. There's a lot of value later in life from learning from early childhood, that it actually is not possible for anyone to be perfect. :) 

Yes! the disagreements also. And the making up part. And I like that she can see what a reasonably healthy relationship looks like.. at least I think we do pretty well ;) 

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Day 14 (Friday) 

 

Training did not actually happen.. I decided that it probably wasn't smart. I thought I had pretty much stopped bleeding but my body tricked me, there was lots of bleeding today. 

I have some other little wins though; I made chili with proper stewed meat. I did not lose my cool when first Emma's diaper malfunctioned and I had poop EVERYWHERE and while I had my arms full of poop laundry Sophie woke up and then when I had cleaned that up and fed Sophie she blew through her diaper and I was still pretty chill about the whole thing! 

I played board games with Emma.. folded two baskets of laundry.. packed away some of the stuff accumulating in my room.. answered a work email. That's about it I think. 

 

Also had nice video chats with my mom and with my sister. Or well, they video chatted with Emma while I mostly did other stuff, but it still counts. 

 

Jaap and I were joking that before kids we would have enjoyed this quarantaine thing, both being very much introverts we'd just be gaming and/or hiking all day. But raising kids is just not a single player game. Or a two player game really. Or a quaraintaine compatible game. 

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3 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Jaap and I were joking that before kids we would have enjoyed this quarantaine thing, both being very much introverts we'd just be gaming and/or hiking all day. But raising kids is just not a single player game. Or a two player game really. Or a quaraintaine compatible game. 


Is it an 11-player team game but you're playing with two people and the grass is wet?

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Wishing a speedy recovery for your sister!

 

9 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Jaap and I were joking that before kids we would have enjoyed this quarantaine thing, both being very much introverts we'd just be gaming and/or hiking all day. But raising kids is just not a single player game. Or a two player game really. Or a quaraintaine compatible game. 

 

It's not indeed... Seriously I don't know how parents manage... I have a fair amount of colleagues with kids, some very young, some a bit older, but it's very hard in any case. Parents are expected to help with schooling and it's not easy at all (they are supposed to replace history/math/music/... teachers, really?). Those who have a garden are the lucky ones. And on top of that they have to deal with the general confinement anxiety.

 

10 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Training did not actually happen.. I decided that it probably wasn't smart. I thought I had pretty much stopped bleeding but my body tricked me, there was lots of bleeding today. 

 

Yes, take it easy, now is maybe not the time to push it...

 

10 hours ago, KB Girl said:

I have some other little wins though; I made chili with proper stewed meat. I did not lose my cool when first Emma's diaper malfunctioned and I had poop EVERYWHERE and while I had my arms full of poop laundry Sophie woke up and then when I had cleaned that up and fed Sophie she blew through her diaper and I was still pretty chill about the whole thing! 

 

Impressive!

 

 

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10 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Jaap and I were joking that before kids we would have enjoyed this quarantaine thing, both being very much introverts we'd just be gaming and/or hiking all day. But raising kids is just not a single player game. Or a two player game really. Or a quaraintaine compatible game. 

Taking care of family in this situation sounds brutally difficult...

 

10 hours ago, KB Girl said:

They really do learn from everything you do! She once asked me wether I wanted a magic kiss when I smashed my knee into a door. 

...but at least you got a good one. ❤️

 

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20 hours ago, KB Girl said:

and I was still pretty chill about the whole thing! 

That is a major win!

 

I read somewhere that two kid parents are the most stressed, while three+ parents the chillest... Mostly because they lower their expectations to "are all limbs and heads intact? Then it's a good day." :D

 

Look at you and Jaap go, just juggling everything and keeping realistic before that point. Kudos.

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12 hours ago, @mu said:

It's not indeed... Seriously I don't know how parents manage... I have a fair amount of colleagues with kids, some very young, some a bit older, but it's very hard in any case. Parents are expected to help with schooling and it's not easy at all (they are supposed to replace history/math/music/... teachers, really?)

 

Don't forget they're supposed to still work from home as well.

 

There's a reason the decision to close schools for children young enough to need constant supervision, was a controversial and hotly debated one.

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23 hours ago, KB Girl said:

aap and I were joking that before kids we would have enjoyed this quarantaine thing, both being very much introverts we'd just be gaming and/or hiking all day. But raising kids is just not a single player game. Or a two player game really. Or a quaraintaine compatible game. 

True point. However, I gotta say that last week, I was wishing I had a kid at home as I thought it would give me another. I was remembering another stressful time, when my mom had cancer, which was super hard, but my son was little and needed my attention and that helped me to worry less.

 

Also sadly, we are under stay at home,which means no hikes.We can do walks, but not hikes. And what is frustrating about that is that hiking was at first allowed, only idiot people couldn't figure out how to do that and social distance so it was banned

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31 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

And what is frustrating about that is that hiking was at first allowed, only idiot people couldn't figure out how to do that and social distance so it was banned

 

That is infuriating. Idiots ruining it for others.

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23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

We were really panicked when we thought we couldn't get help with our baby from Sra. Tanque's mother. Fortunately they are still watching her while she works from home, otherwise we'd all be gibbering messes.

I am really glad you were spared that scenario!

 

22 hours ago, Harriet said:


Is it an 11-player team game but you're playing with two people and the grass is wet?

yes, exactly. And the ball is not round anymore. 
 

15 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Taking care of family in this situation sounds brutally difficult...

 

...but at least you got a good one. ❤️

 

I really do ❤️
It’s difficult sometimes but mostly really good. The thing bothering me most right now is that hormonal protective instinct going in overdrive due to the situation. 

 

5 hours ago, analoggirl said:


That is a major win!

 

I read somewhere that two kid parents are the most stressed, while three+ parents the chillest... Mostly because they lower their expectations to "are all limbs and heads intact? Then it's a good day." :D

 

Look at you and Jaap go, just juggling everything and keeping realistic before that point. Kudos.

hah! Jaap and I are pretty chill parents anyway. We just need some me time and some sleep every now and then and we’re good.
 

2 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

True point. However, I gotta say that last week, I was wishing I had a kid at home as I thought it would give me another. I was remembering another stressful time, when my mom had cancer, which was super hard, but my son was little and needed my attention and that helped me to worry less.

 

Also sadly, we are under stay at home,which means no hikes.We can do walks, but not hikes. And what is frustrating about that is that hiking was at first allowed, only idiot people couldn't figure out how to do that and social distance so it was banned

Sorry you can’t go for hikes, that sucks :(

And I don’t know.. this drive to protect my girls is driving me insane. And I prefer to distract myself with large books and gaming rather than entertaining a 3yo ;)

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8 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

I am really glad you were spared that scenario!

 

yes, exactly. And the ball is not round anymore. 
 

I really do ❤️
It’s difficult sometimes but mostly really good. The thing bothering me most right now is that hormonal protective instinct going in overdrive due to the situation. 

 

hah! Jaap and I are pretty chill parents anyway. We just need some me time and some sleep every now and then and we’re good.
 

Sorry you can’t go for hikes, that sucks :(

And I don’t know.. this drive to protect my girls is driving me insane. And I prefer to distract myself with large books and gaming rather than entertaining a 3yo ;)

Yeah, worrying about keeping your children safe is huge. I can see where it would be very heavy, especially for a newborn

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Day 15 (Saturday) there was lots and lots of sunshine, which was good. I had a Skype call with a client who is struggling with the lack of human contact, so I took the bike to the gym to do that in peace.. I took a little detour because I had time and it was nice. 
 

I did 10 deadlifts with a 20kg bell and I hung on the rings for a bit.. and I did some plank progressions and wrist prehab.

 

Also tested my running because Emma has a walking bike that she’s really really fast on and she nearly gave me 5 heart attacks. We went on two walks today. One with just us and one with the dog and Jaap and Sophie in a carrier. 
 

There was still quite a bit of crying because that’s what hormonal moms with 2 week olds do. But I also did a bit of housekeeping, like vacuuming which I can unfortunately do again without pain. 

 

Lets hope I get some sleep now. 

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