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RisenPhoenix Transmutes


RisenPhoenix

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Whoops, challenge started yesterday.

 

 

1) Challenges Transmute to Selfcare: Self care is the priority, even at the expense of the rest of the goals

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An accurate representation of my brain right now

 

Yesterday was a Not Good Day.  Weather, anxiety, injury, exhaustion, extroversion, food.  Just all terrible.  It made me realize that the last few weeks I've been extremely social (because digital socializing is still socializing, and people sending millions of messages as they need to reach out is still draining when you are getting dozens and dozens of interactions above your normal rates).  Physically I've been moving I guess approximately the same amount, though in a different manner.  Mentally, I've been running full steam, even with those mental health days I took at the beginning of the month that also began the downfall of all civilization*.  So this is going to be the reminder that my "usual" things should be taking a slight backseat to keeping myself mentally okay.  And yes, physically I should not do anything crazy, either.  Marathons, not sprints.  Selfcare can take the form of literally ignoring everyone, sleeping in and skipping workouts, eating like an asshole (as long as I log it), 

 

*Note: not actually how I feel about this, regardless of how things are going, but also pretty much the sole way things have been lobbed at me by most of the people regularly messaging me with their freakouts.  I need better boundaries to tell people to bugger off.

 

 

2) Aikido Mat Hours Transmutes to Aikido Viewing Hours: Read or watch aikido-related media for 2 hours a week

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Yes that is more of a Judo move but I don't care and I want to be Izumi when I grow up

 

I do need some aikido in my life, besides the boatload of mental/physical aikido I've been doing over the last few weeks.  I have a bunch of texts, plus a recently gifted trove of Kanai sensei videos to go through.  I should be using some of my free time for things besides video games (I beat Wolfenstien 2 in a week and a half) or watching TV (I have 6 episodes left of FMA: Brotherhood and I started watching 3 weeks ago).  If I go longer than the two hours, yea, that's awesome and great.  But right now my biggest issue has been trying to comfortably transition to a full desk position from a very-much-not full desk position, so after 8 hours of work/literature reading multiple hours of aikido study is not high on my list of things to do.

 

 

3) Calorie Deficit Transmutes into Calorie Maintenance: Log an average of less than 2400 net calories a day (16,800/week)

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Ling likes his Carbs

 

Counting calories has always worked well for me.  That's how I managed to lose a whole bunch of weight at the beginning of the year, that's how I'l maintain my current weight while this goes on.  Honestly, 2400 net is probably a bit high, and I will try to keep it lower over all, but I also am going to keep this a bit relaxed to keep my brain okay.  I will say though that I need to drop down some of my carby snacks that I've been getting.  I've become slightly obsessed with Pirate's Booty cheese puffs and also popcorn.  Once I'm done with the Pirate's booty I bought in this last run, I will not buy more this challenge.  Also popcorn I'm transitioning to kernals that I have to make on the stove.  Should slow down my consumption.  I've also apparently been in the habit of over eating a LOT on Sunday and undereating on Monday.  Not terrible, but I should try to normalize the two.

 

4) All the Workouts Transmutes to Some of the Workouts: MWF Workouts are now 3 High intensity workouts a week (or 2 and a ruck), plus post work walks.

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Not gonna look like Armstrong after these workouts, but whatever

 

If I do November Project like I plan, that means I'll be doing a workout MWF every week.  But also I should have some leeway, hence the substitution allowance.  Just lets me feel less meh if I do miss something for selfcare reasons, and lately going for walks has been easier to motivate me on rather than waking up at 0530 for an 0630 workout.  I'm also not counting the yoga that I'm still doing, since the instructor from work is doing virtual classes now with the company people (we're paying her directly now, rather than her getting paid by the company but I'm 1000% okay with spending money on this).

 

 

 

So yea.  Guess I'm less trying to get my body back, more trying to just keep my body.

 

 

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Here we go

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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22 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

tumblr_n0yxzzdnXH1szaq7yo2_500.gif?w=525

 

Once I figure out what that exactly means, I'll get bak to you all....

Why yes, I have been watching a bunch of Full Metal Alchemist because of the pandemic, why do you ask?

I'm pretty sure it means to "change in form, nature or substance"

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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22 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm pretty sure it means to "change in form, nature or substance"

 

Hardy har har.

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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YO

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4 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

tumblr_n0yxzzdnXH1szaq7yo2_500.gif?w=525

 

Once I figure out what that exactly means, I'll get bak to you all....

Why yes, I have been watching a bunch of Full Metal Alchemist because of the pandemic, why do you ask?

 

I am for this. I'm honestly trying to figure out if a good Machete order is to watch some eps of the original series and then to take up on Brotherhood when their stories branch, because Brotherhood is the overall better series but TOS has a stronger take on the opening arcs.

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Updated with Goals.

 

This weekend was kind of shit, hence the not updating in time.  Yesterday I was in no good headspace and Saturday I was actually doing a bunch of stuff.  I slept in /skipped NP Friday because my leg was giving me huge issues, and I slept in this morning because the leg is still grumpy and I needed the extra sleep more than anything.  No regrets, which shows I did the right thing.  Food has been meh, Net Average of 2170 calories last week, which is slightly down from the prior week.  This week I would like to keep it there, and maybe get it to a point where I'm looking at total calorie, rather than net calories and keeping it still relatively low regardless of workouts.  That said I did do a 5.5mile ruck on Saturday with a friend, which was nice.  

 

Im hoping the weather keeps relatively clear for a post-work walk.  Won't be anything crazy, but should be decent.  IF not, I'll go for a longer walk tomorrow.

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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I support you in cutting back on social media and on-line support for your friends. Some people need to vent on FB for their mental health. I need to not see that for my mental health. They get to vent. I get to not know about it. All good.

 

Good for you getting outside to ruck. Actually seeing the world outside our safer-at-home four walls is important for maintaining perspective.

 

I hope things go better this week.

 

 

Level 59  Viking paladin

My current challenge    Battle log 

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Still working on the self care things, still trying to avoid constant messaging and people interaction.  Probably will hide until next week for the most part.

 

Calories Monday had a net of 2300 calories, and yesterday had a net 1900, and today is currently plotted around 1700, but that will raise once my workday ends, but not by much probably.  And honestly, anything added right now would likely be fat/protein while I mindlessly snack on the pork shoulder I'm slow cooking right now.

 

Woke up this morning at 0530 to do NP's workout.  The first part was officially a 20 minute run, then BW work (lunges, some side jumps and twists, then 60s of running/cardio things), followed by a burnout of 30 burpees.  I actually decided to run the 20 minutes because I went "It's only 20 minutes, it can't be terrible!" Well, 0.05 seconds into it I realized, yes, yes it is.  Once again proving I hate running.  But I made the run around the neighborhood in 15 minutes, which gave me enough time to get upstairs and set myself up on my porch.  Rest of the workout was fine, maybe I sandbagged it a bit.  I'm realizing that I'm liking the NP workouts that push us to breakout rooms because that's where there is some dialogue and joking banter that helps fuel the workout be better (So extroverted to me, I know).  Otherwise I'm just staring at a mostly silent screen with people waving about.   Hopefully there gets to be some balance made over the next few weeks.

 

So yea, not a hugely exciting update.  But at least something like a challenge seems to be shaking together right now.

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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5 minutes ago, Defining said:

Have you tried skip rope? I am using it as a substitute for myself instead of running, most of the time. For some reason, I hate it less.

 

Before all of this started I had moved to rowing machines / started eying stationary bikes.  I enjoy those.  Maybe I should look into skipping rope for those NP morning workouts though, now that you mention it.

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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Remember when I was like "Oh, I'll probably eat more" yesterday?

 

Really hard to eat more when you accidentally give yourself food poisoning.

 

Yeeeeeaaaaaaa.

 

Apparently the meat was bad.  My grazing habit actually saved me because I tried it while I was playing video games to let it cook some more.  About two hours later my body strongly rejected to everything I had put into it.  Which thankfully was not much, but still unpleasant.  So dinner turned into a whole bunch of saltine crackers and some peptobismol.

 

I then had insomnia from 0200-0500.

 

Yippieeeeee!

 

Really glad I work from home because today I am doing a subset of very much required things and not much else....

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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Some good news:

 

Got my promotion!

 

And the new pay puts me in the Boston average salary for the title/duties.  Which I will take as a starting point.  Glad that anxiety point can be taken off the list.

 

Now to slowly build the base for making my company accepted Non-PhDs as scientist-titled people....

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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Sorry about the self-inflicted food poisoning (beennnn there), but huge congrats on the promotion!

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boooo on the food poisoning, but yaaaaay on promotion! Well deserved.

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So week one. 
 

Average calorie intake per day was just about 2300 calories. Admittedly that was achieved by being poisoned on Wednesday. Whoops. 
 

Selfcare I’m feeling better than I did a week ago, but still kind of content to mostly mute my phone and barely deal with humans. Maybe another week of that will help me feel better. 
 

I did zero aikido things last week, unless we want to count that two hour board meeting I was in last Sunday. I tried, I might have some some minor ukemi warm ups, but really Nada. This week for sure. 
 

Workouts for last week were on Wednesday and Friday for NP, plus a yoga class, plus some walks. Nothing crazy. Technically missed one of my workouts since I didn’t do a make up worker/ruck. 
 

This week I think might be better over all. There’s the three NP workouts. Plus yoga. Plus the weather this week is supposed to be nice. So I can do more walks after work (now with 100% more face coverings!) to get some movement in besides going to my kettle during work hours. 
 

In work news, my boss is really hung up on everyone remaining absolutely productive with no drop in anything. Sigh. I need to find a way to beat the idea that everyone is slacking if they don’t work a full 8 hours given the circumstances. It’s rapidly becoming my job to do so it seems....

 

 Oh also promotion things that make me laugh. Get the promotion. Told to not make it public until the division meeting where they will announce it to the company. And yet IT has already updated my permissions, so my title has changed already in our messenger in a few other locations. But apparently I’m not supposed to acknowledge this for another week for Reasons. *shakes head*

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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12 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Oh also promotion things that make me laugh. Get the promotion. Told to not make it public until the division meeting where they will announce it to the company. And yet IT has already updated my permissions, so my title has changed already in our messenger in a few other locations. But apparently I’m not supposed to acknowledge this for another week for Reasons. *shakes head*

 

Congrats man 😃

 

When I first moved from Customer Service to IT way back in 2010, I did it almost entirely without the knowledge of my direct manager. I applied for the position, interviewed, got the job and was told not to tell anyone, all without him knowing about it (because he was an OK guy but not good at lifting people up). I ended up going straight to him and telling him I was leaving, rather than asking for permission to do the stuff.

 

I then moved my desk halfway across the building, but was told to pretend nothing had changed until they could make an official announcement.

 

All this to say, corporations are weird. 

"You are what you do. Choose again, and change." - Miles Vorkosigan

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Congrats on the promotion, that's well-earned. Glad that you're making average for your area now.

 

Also, +1 to skipping rope if you can. It's harder than it sounds, particularly to go for a full 20 minutes, but it's better cardio and it'll translate better to aikido in that you'll pick up some coordination benefits on top of the conditioning.

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Thanks everyone. :)  The company made the official announcement yesterday afternoon, so my work messenger blew up.  Lots of "Well deserved" and "About times" and a few "Wait, you weren't that level already?"s.

 

In other news.

giphy.gif

 

Trying to channel my inner Dory while I'm really a Marlin.  Just a lot to do and the last few days I've been expending a lot of mental energy to focus and report back on things I'm not used to.

 

Food this week has been reasonable, though so far.  Because of my ruck on Sunday and my two workouts on Monday, my overall average intake is still relatively low.  Yesterday I was exhausted-eating.  I wanted to eat all the things.  It's interesting to realize that exhaustion makes me prone to eating, as much as anxiety does.  Either that or the fact I was making oxtail stew and smelling it all day was just subconsciously triggering me to eat more.  But I do think it's a sleep thing.  Why you ask?

 

Because I skipped NP this morning.  I went to bed around 10.  I set an alarm for 0800.  I expected to be up well before then.  Newp, passed out mostly until the alarm went off.  Got showered and dressed, made coffee, and got to work roughly when I normally would.  Even when I try to sleep in I till am one of the early people.  I do plan on going on a ruck tomorrow to make up for no NP, though.  I found a relatively less traveled area near my place in the woods, so that'll be nice.  Also tomorrow is supposed to be less nice than Sunday, so hopefully less people will be around, too.

 

I have done like, 15 minutes of aikido things.  On one hand I feel like I Should feel bad.  On the other I'm kind of just embracing it.  I've realized I need to DO things more than THINK things.  I can watch things, but I need bodies to let things sink in.  Though I guess a weekly-ish skype call with the aikido people kind of counts.

 

Also this morning I weighed myself.  I'm hovering around 213.  It's more than I wanted to be at this time, but also better than gaining weight.  Also there's a chance I'm doing some recomp with the workouts I'm still doing.  My waist measurement this morning was a bit thinner than normal, but also was dehydration-prone.  Then again, maybe I don't care just for my sanity.  If I can drop my waist measurement by another 0.5" though it would be where I was when I was at my thinnest, which would be nice, though.

 

Hope everyone is doing well. :) 

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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2 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

 

giphy.gif

 

Trying to channel my inner Dory while I'm really a Marlin.  Just a lot to do and the last few days I've been expending a lot of mental energy to focus and report back on things I'm not used to.

 

My company is using this metaphor too. Especially the Production folks who are working 7 days a week making viral testing materials. :D

 

2 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

I have done like, 15 minutes of aikido things.  On one hand I feel like I Should feel bad.  On the other I'm kind of just embracing it.  I've realized I need to DO things more than THINK things.  I can watch things, but I need bodies to let things sink in.  Though I guess a weekly-ish skype call with the aikido people kind of counts.

 

You are ahead of me on the aikido things. I attended a conference call last weekend. The chief instructors talked about their experience starting aikido in the 70s. Fascinating stuff. This weekend we have actual remote training planned. I'm going to make space on my porch so I can swing a bokken. Saturday one of the senior students is going to teach solo practices he learned in Japan. I missing rolling on the mat, but this is better than nothing.

 

That said, I've enjoyed feeling less time with no evenings at the dojo. I don't know that I'm getting more done, but I'm a lot less stressed about not getting it done.

 

2 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Also this morning I weighed myself.  I'm hovering around 213.  It's more than I wanted to be at this time, but also better than gaining weight.  Also there's a chance I'm doing some recomp with the workouts I'm still doing.  My waist measurement this morning was a bit thinner than normal, but also was dehydration-prone.  Then again, maybe I don't care just for my sanity.  If I can drop my waist measurement by another 0.5" though it would be where I was when I was at my thinnest, which would be nice, though.

 

Nods. That balance of sanity and desire to lose the extra pounds. Good for you not gaining weight. I did gain weight last week. I'll be really unhappy if I haven't lost a little this week. That said, I feel like I've got my eating to where I can sustain it. I just don't think I have the emotional energy for a serious cut right now. I'm staying away from the ice cream but still eating home-made sweets.

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Level 59  Viking paladin

My current challenge    Battle log 

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Hey, just thought I'd drop by to say I'm glad that you're holding up reasonably well, all things considered. I've kind of been seeing some of the same things in terms of how my body's been doing and I'm hopeful that it's all a result of me trying to make the quarantine as constructive as it could be.

 

Just keep hanging in there, man. Gotta roll with what's throwing us.

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