Heidi: Crazy Wisdom

[Heidi]

The bad news: You're falling through the air with no parachute.

The good news: There's no ground.

                          — Chögyam Trungpa

 

It has never not been March.

I think of February and everything that came before it as The World That Was.

 

This is not April. 

"April" makes no sense. 
April has egg hunts; lawn parties with big hats; get-togethers with girlfriends, lilacs, lemonade & lamb; cakes with violets on top; team sports; group hikes; picnics; kissing outdoors.

None of this is happening.

The next 4 weeks shall be known for the moon, and we shall call it "Pink" or "Seed," "Wind" or "Grass." Future historians (if there is a future, and if there are historians in it) will argue about which name was *really* used for the time that was AllegedlyApril; they will throw up their hands and send the matter to the folklorists.

 

I want to shred my resume and print new business cards: Figure Model & Fortune Teller.

[DarK_RaideR]

Been checking the Druid sub-forum every day in anticipation of your new thread. So glad to finally see it up!

[Heidi]

1 minute ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Been checking the Druid sub-forum every day in anticipation of your new thread. So glad to finally see it up!

You're so good to me.

Glad to see you.

Have some tea and catch me up.

How have you been, and what is your World like, now?

[DarK_RaideR]

Oh it's pretty terrible, both on a collective and personal level, hence why I'm simply posting songs on my current "challenge" thread.

[Heidi]

1 hour ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Oh it's pretty terrible, both on a collective and personal level, hence why I'm simply posting songs on my current "challenge" thread.

O, Dear Ranger, I'm so sorry to hear.

DM me your snail mail address please. I have a need to write real letters. Let's connect through the emerging World That Is.

[Heidi]

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Hello friend. I feel you on the it's never not been March thing. We are stuck in what feels like a time loop. Once we are out of it, it will amaze us it didn't last as long as it felt. However, because we are stuck in it, the previous sentence brings little to no comfort. 

In times like these, I am reminded of Terry Pratchett's opening to Hogfather:
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree. There is the constant desire to find out where - where is the point where it all began. But much, much later than that the Discworld was formed. Drifting onwards through space...atop four elephants on the shell of a giant turtle, the great A'Tuin. It was some time after its creation when most people forgot that the very oldest stories of the beginning are sooner or later about blood. At least that's one theory. The philosopher Didactylos suggested an alternative hypothesis: 'things just happen, what the hell'. 

 

I know that's somewhat nonsenical, but I think right now we could all use a little more nonsense of the humorous variety.

[Heidi]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The philosopher Didactylos suggested an alternative hypothesis: 'things just happen, what the hell'. 

Yes.

This, exactly.

[darkfoxx]

Hello! Glad to see you back! 

[Heidi]

Started the day of my solar return with a thunderstorm, and that's always beautiful.

 

Today I'm planning on lounging about, giving myself permission to explore possibilities languidly, an annual birthday tradition of mine, welcoming the coming year with open arms.

 

I have a book proposal at an editor, acceptance pending. I am knitting a blanket-in-progress that I'm designing on the needle (codename Artemis). There is a craft seminar essay in progress, but I'm shelving it today. Today's Writing will be letters, again. There's something connecting about putting ink on paper, an intimacy of the conversation that isn't as real in pixels.

 

I hope you find something beautiful today.

❣️

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

When I was going through my divorce and for a time afterward I wrote several paper letters. It helped a lot.

[Heidi]

Good Friday.

 

[Heidi]

Accidentally posted this to @DarK_RaideR's block party, but it belongs here:

 

[Heidi]

He's gonna be sick later, you just know it.

[Heidi]

Happy Tuesday.

The isolation is starting to be noticeable. I'm not nearly as bothered by it as most, but today, with the Spring and Sunshine, my wanderlust is whispering in the ear of my soul.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

Happy Tuesday.

The isolation is starting to be noticeable. I'm not nearly as bothered by it as most, but today, with the Spring and Sunshine, my wanderlust is whispering in the ear of my soul.

 

 

Literally the only connection to that song and this is the title but:

 

[SkyGirl]

Ahh, I haven't followed one of your threads in quite some time. Hope you don't mind if I pop in.   

[Heidi]

3 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Ahh, I haven't followed one of your threads in quite some time. Hope you don't mind if I pop in.   

Welcome!

Have some tea.

[Heidi]

There are no words today.

Not for the journal, not for the essay, nothing.

Nothing seems real.

The knitting looked like someone else's project; Writing used a language I don't know.

I started washing the dishes and walked off, halfway through.

 

I am flat today.

 

Tomorrow morning I leave this Airbnb and I'm not certain where I'll land, or for how long. The coming four weeks, indeed the coming four hours, are a mystery.

[Heidi]

I have nothing to offer this uncertainty that lies before me.

I am the emotional state of Child's Pose.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Friend, that sounds like a difficult place to be. I offer my ear.

[DarK_RaideR]

Tis simply the uncertainty of changing location, amplified by the uncertainty of these times. Let yourself go with the flow and come whatever may. Such is the Way of the Gypsy.

[Heidi]

18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Friend, that sounds like a difficult place to be. I offer my ear.

 

14 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Tis simply the uncertainty of changing location, amplified by the uncertainty of these times. Let yourself go with the flow and come whatever may. Such is the Way of the Gypsy.

Sometimes spending a while afternoon in the act of Not knowing is exactly what is called for. Thank you, @Tanktimus the Encourager -- it's good to have like-minded companionship on this strange journey that is the NotYet. 

 

As @DarK_RaideR foretold, the sky dawned clear and the Way opened this morning. The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy; I don't have to understand; I have to be available and participate, which sometimes means leaning into the discomfortable in-between.

 

Love and ginger tea to you both, friends.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

48 minutes ago, Heidi said:

 

Sometimes spending a while afternoon in the act of Not knowing is exactly what is called for. Thank you, @Tanktimus the Encourager -- it's good to have like-minded companionship on this strange journey that is the NotYet. 

 

As @DarK_RaideR foretold, the sky dawned clear and the Way opened this morning. The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy; I don't have to understand; I have to be available and participate, which sometimes means leaning into the discomfortable in-between.

 

Love and ginger tea to you both, friends.

Even the way you write your discomfort gives me a sense of peace. I'm glad something turned up.

[Heidi]

A poem today, written especially for me by the lovely and talented Ali Trotta. Poetry will save us.

 

You watched the sun rise, a riot
of colors, bleeding softly
into the sky, bright as ink
swimming through water,
growing brighter
and more miraculous,
until everything crested,
and the day began,
stuffed full of such ordinary
hope. 
#TinyPoem