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Novaurora

Nova becomes a good partner and an adulty adult

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23 hours ago, analoggirl said:

By the way, I forgot to say thank you for still wanting to keep the assignments interesting although they need to be straight forward. And prepping them and grading them properly anyway.

I just think about if I was a student right now what would keep me working.  15 year old me would not be wasting time doing busy work if I knew my grad was sheltered.

Quote

 

The best part of my childhood (especially between 8 and... yeah no all of it. 17) were the caring teachers that loved their jobs (or focused on the good parts, anyway) and delighted in engaging their students. They gave me life whenever I felt like giving up :) not that my life was the hardest you could ever imagine but you know. Experiences are relative.  So yeah thanks! ( and sorry for the hormone driven actions)

You are absolutely right.  Experience is relative. I'm a self proclaimed "spoiled suburban white girl" and there were still part of my childhood that were really hard (for reasons other than money), so I get it.

 

23 hours ago, Jupiter said:

 

 

Miles Teller Reaction GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Thanks.  I love the reinforcement.

 

So, yesterday was pretty stressful, but I did get a lot done.  I finished all my school goals, and was easily able to get that all sent out this morning.  I also did the laundry and duolingo, so points for meeeee!!!  It should be noted that I also did the kitchen and my desk because I'm starting to like have a clean kitchen and work area constantly.

 

I slept poorly again last night.  I'm convinced its the fact that I scroll on my phone before bed, so I'm going to have to put a stop to that...somehow...maybe...long story short, no workout today, yet.  

 

Today's tasks include:

 

Cleaning the bathroom:

  • Scrub sink
  • Scrub toilet
  • Wash mirror
  • Scrub bath tub
  • Check trash
  • Sweep floor/scrub floor as needed
  • Organize drawer

Points: 7

 

Clean my Closet

  • Get everything out off the floor
  • Put floordrobe in hamper
  • Sort random floor items
  • Put everything away where it belongs
  • Organize closet by type of clothing
  • Put ill-fitting clothes on back rack
  • Sweep

Points: 7

 

I also took time today to make a schedule to organize my school day a bit better, so hopefully that will help me focus.  I will get back on the required writing train tomorrow.  Hope everyone has had a great day.

 

Total points: 104/110

 

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48 minutes ago, Xena said:

That's great progress on cleaning!

Thanks!  I ended up switching a task out for the closet, but it will just get rolled into tomorrow.

 

Also, I picked my prizes.  I want to try a self care subscription box, and depending on how well I do will be how many months I can pre pay (1, 3, or 6).  I'm excited to pick one!

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I want to remember this feeling forever.  I am not stressed, I am not anxious, I am happy.  I am focused on positive things, I am prioritizing better.  My relationship with my husband is healing.  Today was a pretty baller ass Monday, and I never want to forget how this feels and how easy it was to say no to the anxiety and yes to just doing, regardless of the awkward or the unknown.  

 

I am a good teacher, a good friend, a better wife, my husband loves me, and I can prioritize when I don't let fear get in my way.  

 

I will not be afraid of living anymore.

 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

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5 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I want to remember this feeling forever.  I am not stressed, I am not anxious, I am happy.  I am focused on positive things, I am prioritizing better.  My relationship with my husband is healing.  Today was a pretty baller ass Monday, and I never want to forget how this feels and how easy it was to say no to the anxiety and yes to just doing, regardless of the awkward or the unknown.  

 

I am a good teacher, a good friend, a better wife, my husband loves me, and I can prioritize when I don't let fear get in my way.  

 

I will not be afraid of living anymore.

 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

 

See the source image

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6 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I want to remember this feeling forever.  I am not stressed, I am not anxious, I am happy.  I am focused on positive things, I am prioritizing better.  My relationship with my husband is healing.  Today was a pretty baller ass Monday, and I never want to forget how this feels and how easy it was to say no to the anxiety and yes to just doing, regardless of the awkward or the unknown.  

 

I am a good teacher, a good friend, a better wife, my husband loves me, and I can prioritize when I don't let fear get in my way.  

 

I will not be afraid of living anymore.

 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

 

I love this. I would come to this TedTalk every week. 

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3 hours ago, Quirky Quinn said:

 

See the source image

 

3 hours ago, Salinger said:

❤️

 

2 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I love this. I would come to this TedTalk every week. 

Thanks guys!  I was really feeling awesome last night and I hope that feeling sticks around!!

 

I just wish that feeling had translated into better sleep.  Wasn't on my phone in bed, I put my meditation on, but that didn't work so I tried a bunch of mind tricks and stuff.  Ended up falling asleep around 1.  There WAS an accidental nap yesterday afternoon, so I think that was the culprit.  Will be avoiding those today and see if no phone and meditation work better tonight.

 

Yesterday was good.  I got the bathroom done and I ended up swapping out the closet for planting our seed starters (we had been meaning to do it for ages) so the closet will be done later.

 

Hubs and I are on a really good trajectory right now which is part of the reason I'm so over the moon and happy.  Though, we have been here before and the anxiety always manages to creep back in, so while I have high hopes, I'm not getting complacent.  I must constantly be aware of where the anxiety is and how loudly to tell it to fuck right off.

 

I had a phone meeting with my psychiatrist yesterday and we decided to prescribe me an "as needed" anxiety med on top of my daily.  It's not something I plan on using all the time, but there are days where I get ramped up and it would be nice to come back down before I spiral into anxiety oblivion and just over think and over complicated and drive a massive stake into the progress I've made (these episodes usually unravel over a series of days)

 

I'm also excited because hubs expressed an interest in yoga and starting to take daily walks, so we are going to try some yoga at 7 and then take a walk around the neighborhood at lunch.  This is a really good sign for his depression which gives me even more reason to be vigilant about holding up my end and communicating and not letting my anxiety rule my life.  

 

Total points: 116/122

 

Today's tasks

 

Vacuum the front room

 

Write 500 words

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You already do some journaling I think? Maybe be sure to write a nice long entry about all the good things right now, so you can look back at it when you need some reminding?

 

So happy things are going well!

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Nova your happy updates are giving me LIFE and I'm so glad to read you're in a GOOD SPOT!! <3333

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22 hours ago, foxinthenorth said:

I love the good news! So happy for you! Keep up the good work! You've been pushing through tough times and it's paying off. You got this!

Thanks!  It's so nice to be on a hot streak, now I've just gotta keep it going

 

18 hours ago, Xena said:

You already do some journaling I think? Maybe be sure to write a nice long entry about all the good things right now, so you can look back at it when you need some reminding?

 

So happy things are going well!

That's a great idea.  I just keep re reading the little entry I made above, ha.

 

15 hours ago, Jupiter said:

Yay, glad things are going well! 

Me tooooo!!!  Hope things are going well for you too!!

 

3 hours ago, loire said:

Nova your happy updates are giving me LIFE and I'm so glad to read you're in a GOOD SPOT!! <3333

It's giving me life tooo!!!  

 

Thanks for all your support guys!  It's been a great few days.  We have gotten up and done yoga the last few days, and I have to say, it's my new favorite morning activity.  Hubs is not very flexible (hence the yoga) but his commentary is hilarious and I'm so glad it's something we can do together, even if I have to drag him out of bed every morning (I'm definitely the early bird in the relationship).  We also went for a nice little walk at lunch time yesterday.  It was nice to get out and just wander the neighborhood a bit.  We bought Arizona's at the corner store and walked home. 

 

My skin ended up breaking out after the walk into very itchy patches (not a sunburn, looks more like hives, and it's been happening since I was a kid) and I finally did some research into it, and from what I can tell (which I will of course reach out to my Dr to confirm once all the madness is over) is that I have a sun allergy (yes, it's thing).  It's more annoying than it is serious, so I'm really not that worried about it.

 

Anyhoo, I didn't end up writing yesterday because I got a bit lost in duolingo and zooming with friends in the evening, but it is what it is.  I did get the vacuuming and everything done, so there's that.

 

Still not sleeping great...that's the one thing I wish I could just magically fix right now, but all in all, I can't complain.

 

Today's tasks: 

  • Write 500 words

 

 

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5 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

I've not seen you at your worst, so thanks for having me along for one of your amazing days 👑 So, much, winnnn!

It's been a super uphill battle since like January 2019 for a whole plethora of reasons, mostly relating to mental health.  So glad you're here for the hopeful upswing!!

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8 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I just keep re reading the little entry I made above, ha.

 

I would too! It's joyous!

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On 5/11/2020 at 8:58 PM, Novaurora said:

Also, I picked my prizes.  I want to try a self care subscription box

Do you have a particular box picked out?

 

8 hours ago, Novaurora said:

Thanks for all your support guys!  It's been a great few days

Super excited to hear this!

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So fun that you and hubby are doing yoga together. My friend breaks out in hives when she is hot, if it is outside or a hot tub will do it.

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21 hours ago, Maigs said:

Do you have a particular box picked out?

I'm thinking smartass and sass (snarky gifts and stuff).  It looks right up my alley.  Either that or Peace and Pages (candles/spa type items with a book each month)

 

21 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

So fun that you and hubby are doing yoga together. My friend breaks out in hives when she is hot, if it is outside or a hot tub will do it.

We have been enjoying it a lot.  It's great to see him coming out of his depression and doing some self care.  It brings me joy.  We went on another walk today and it only made my arms worse.  I will just start wearing a sun shirt in the future.

 

17 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Nova how are you?xx

I'm doing pretty great, minus a few small annoyances.

 

It's been a few great days.  We got up and did yoga again this morning, and then I worked all day, grading and having student meetings. We took our walk and rewarded ourselves with ice cream at the corner store.  We aren't worrying about food this week.  We aren't going out of our way to eat poorly, but we have been getting on the same page (it's so nice to have similar goals again) and have decided that movement, normalizing our sleep schedules, and maintaining the home are the current priorities.  Food will come next, but with how hubs' depression is, sometimes we just get to the end of the day without much energy, and its just easier to make a sandwich or hot dogs or pizza rolls.  I can live with this for a bit.  Portion control is a thing.  Because of these discussions with my husband, I am going to shift my challenge just a bit.  I am still going to pick 1-2 things a day to accomplish, BUT seeing as I've had almost perfect success with this the last 2 weeks, I feel good adding a bit more structure (which was always the intention).

  • 1 of my things every day needs to be a house thing (even if it's small, like load the dishwasher and empty it)
  • yoga is being added to my daily list with duolingo.
  • I am going to start building a bedtime routine by adding 1 thing every week to help me fall asleep faster and avoid having my phone in bed.
    • I will start this next week.  I'm trying to decide what step 1 should be
      • options: read for 30 minutes before bed, put on my forest app when I get in bed, nightly meditation
      • Alternate approach: buy a clock for the bedroom and plug my phone in out of reach.

 

Today's task was to run the dishwasher.  I felt my period coming on and I didn't sleep well (again) so I decided to keep it simple. I'll load it tonight and empty it tomorrow morning.9

Yoga ✔️

Duolingo ✔️

Total points: 129/140

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On 5/18/2020 at 12:50 PM, foxinthenorth said:

Happy Monday! Hope your weekend went well! Looks like you're adding structure nice and slow, still keeping it simple. 😉You're doing great!

Thanks!  I'm still plodding along.

 

Hey guys, it's been a minute.  I'm used to having time in the morning, but with the yoga, I lose my morning chill time (it takes hubs like 30 minutes to get out of bed and I have to constantly poke him to keep him from falling back asleep, but we both have things we are working on, so it's okay).  The fact that he is getting up before 11 every day (even with intense prompting) is awesome.  I'm only lamenting that loss a little bit, and I'm trying to figure out how to get that time back, because I like it.  I also need to get back on the workout train too.  I have been doing okay with my tasks.  The yoga and duolingo have happened, and I'm doing house tasks, but when I don't plan with purpose in the morning, I don't really have a plan and I just do random stuff.  So my goal for the rest of this week is to carve out that 30 minutes in the morning to stay accountable, make my plan, and have a minute to myself.

 

My sleep routine goal for the week is two parts.  Be in bed by 10:30, and no screens after 10.  This includes TV, computer, and cell phone.  I get caught up scrolling til WAY too late at night.  I'm really thinking about buying a clock so I have NO EXCUSE to touch my phone at night. To encourage this, I've added a bonus opportunity for myself.  I will choose a book that I ONLY read at bedtime.  If I finish it, I get 10 points.  I'm starting with Where The Crawdad's Sing

 

That's all for now.  Hopefully I report back with a plan tomorrow morning!!

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So, obviously, finding the weekday time was a BIT OF A FAILURE.  Oops.  But, here we are, starting fresh.  Again.  

 

So, the week actually went really well.  We hit our yoga goal every day (and I can feel myself getting more flexible, which is awesome), my duolingo streak is intact, I have been pretty good about no screens after 10 (and I found a new 30 day sleep mediation, woop), and I can feel my standards for my home getting raised as I complete my daily tasks.   My husband expressed to me that with all the dog hair and sand in our home, he would love it if we vacuumed the couches and swept the kitchen/great room floor every day, and I didn't even blink when I said yes.  It doesn't even take that much time.  I'm also really proud of myself because I'm finally in a place where I can support him emotionally.  Before I got on the right meds (and even after, before couples therapy and my year of epiphanies) I couldn't support him because I was barely supporting myself.  It feels so good to be able to help push him to get up every morning and remind him of how good it feels to accomplish stuff and help him pull himself out of the cloud of depression.  I see huge changes in him, and I know my consistency is helping his, and it feels so good.

 

So, here is my list of unintentional collected dailies this challenge

  • Sweep/vacuum the couches (we both do one and switch off every day)
  • 15 minutes yoga (skipping weekends)
  • Duolingo
  • No screens after 10, in bed by 10:30 (finish book is bonus goal)

I feel comfortable maintaining my 2 tasks a day as well.

 

Today's Task's

  • Unload the dishwasher
    • Put away dry dishes
    • Put wet dishes in drying rack
    • Come back BEFORE TOMORROW and put dishes from drying rack away
  • Complete 4 assignments for next week
    • hyperlinks included
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