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Novaurora

Nova becomes a good partner and an adulty adult

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That's awesome that you were able to support your husband when he needed you. As an old married person looking back over the years, one of the things that really binds us together is how we were able to support one another when one of us was struggling

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21 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

That's awesome that you were able to support your husband when he needed you. As an old married person looking back over the years, one of the things that really binds us together is how we were able to support one another when one of us was struggling

It feels so good.  It really does.  I'm excited to move forward!

 

10 hours ago, foxinthenorth said:

That's so awesome! You've been on a long long journey and it's wonderful to see you and your husband coming to this healthier place. ❤️ 

So long.  So unnecessarily long.  I wish my teachers or my parents had thought to get me tested sooner, but ADD in girls is often just seen as disorganization and being a "space cadet" because many girls lack the hyper activity piece.  And the anxiety was never seen as an issue because it hid as me being a "go getter," but again, in a negative way.  I didn't want to fail.  I didn't want to let people down. I didn't want to be wrong.   And these things made me conflict avoidant.  Add all that up with basically absent parenting (we did lots of activities outside of home...sports, camps, etc) but my dad worked a lot (and had depression) and my mom was an alcoholic until I was 18, so basic skills like keeping a house clean, cooking, etc were never imparted on me.  Aaaaaaand, despite knowing my family history, hubs still married me, figuring he could teach me all that shit pretty quick, BUT he didn't know he had also signed up for the mental health piece and that has hindered so much of my progress the last 7 years.  But here we are.  Hopefully, finally, turning the corner.  We have turned corners before, and it's felt so good, but this one feels different.  It's not just me trying to be better for him and focusing on just me; since I am finally able to help him, it's us trying to be better for each other.  I did not mean to ramble on for that long, but, Hi, I'm Nova, and I overshare because one of the reasons I think mental health and substance abuse are still taboo issues to some is because people are afraid to talk about them, :) 

 

10 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Nova, hoping your Sunday is excellent xx

It's just getting started, but it's good so far!!

 

Happy Sunday!  

 

So, yesterday was pretty great. 

  • Dishes ✔️
  • 4 assignments ✔️
  • Duolingo ✔️
  • In bed by 10:30 ✔️
  • No screens after 10  (I really need a clock.  Looking at the time on my phone is such a trap)
  • Yoga: not on weekends
  • Sweep/Vacuum: ✔️

Today has been solid so far.  Slept in til 9, work Hubs up at 10.  I realized that over the years I have taught me dogs an accidental command.  To help me in getting hubs up, I'll find them all in their various comfy spots around the house and say "Go gish your daddy!" and I used to have to run/case them into the bedroom, but now, they just go directly there themselves and climb on top of him.  Like, they can't shake, but they can love pounce when asked.

 

Anyhoo, laundry is started, and I need to do 6 assignments today.  Hubs is sore from helping our neighbor yesterday, so there may be some bonus yoga at lunch, and hopefully I can carve out some time for a longer duolingo session today, as lately I've been doing the bare minimum to keep my streak alive.  Other house things may or may not happen besides the required ones, but progress doesn't have to be super fast.

 

That's about what I've got right now

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The clock has been acquired.  Best part, it only lights up when you want it to (big button on the top).  Now my phone can charge wherever I want, out of my reach.  Victory for sleep!

IMG_20200524_143702.jpg

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7 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I overshare

 

Nah, you share just the perfect amount.

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11 hours ago, Novaurora said:

Hi, I'm Nova, and I overshare because one of the reasons I think mental health and substance abuse are still taboo issues to some is because people are afraid to talk about them, :) 

 

 

 

You are my hero. Keep talking Nova. xx

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17 hours ago, Xena said:

 

Nah, you share just the perfect amount.

 

14 hours ago, Salinger said:

 

You are my hero. Keep talking Nova. xx

awwwww  Thanks guys!!! 

giphy.gif

 

2 hours ago, GoodDoug said:

It is so good to see you doing so well. It makes me happy

It makes me happy toooo

giphy.gif

 

So, yesterday was pretty great.  Everything got done, I get to check off all my boxes, and my new clock is great.  It fits the bill perfectly.

 

In even better news, I just posted my last round off assignments for my kids Wooooohoooooo!  The semester ends for them on Friday.  I will have a few weeks of work days, but overall, no complaints.

  • Laundry✔️
  • 6 assignments ✔️
  • Duolingo ✔️
  • In bed by 10:30 ✔️
  • No screens after 10 ✔️
  • Yoga: not on weekends
  • Sweep/Vacuum: ✔️

Today:

  • 6 assignments (already done)
  • Hubs and I are going to do some organizing, just not sure what room

 

Today has started off well.  We did extracurricular yoga this morning, so regular yoga will wait until tonight, my school work is done, and we made a tasty pancake breakfast.  Like, I feel like I'm living in a dream world.  My life is not this good.  We are never this happy for this long.  I'm never this relaxed for this long.  Like WTF.

 

giphy.gif

 

Anyhoo, I'm gonna take my gif happy ass to some of your threads because I really don't have much else to say.

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On 5/24/2020 at 8:34 AM, Novaurora said:

I realized that over the years I have taught me dogs an accidental command.  To help me in getting hubs up, I'll find them all in their various comfy spots around the house and say "Go gish your daddy!" and I used to have to run/case them into the bedroom, but now, they just go directly there themselves and climb on top of him.  Like, they can't shake, but they can love pounce when asked.

 

LOL this is awesome. :D 

 

3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'll add myself to the list of those happy to see you happy.

 

Me too. :) 

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Thank you for sharing.

 

So much awesomeness. Gif happiness is befitting. I may be repeating myself but, I haven't been along for the rough ride so thanks for having me along for your victories!!

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On 5/25/2020 at 1:18 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'll add myself to the list of those happy to see you happy.

Welcome to the club!!!  Thank you so much!!

 

On 5/25/2020 at 1:47 PM, Maggie-Miau said:

tenor.gif

 

 

Why thanks!  Welcome to the anxiety banishing party!

 

On 5/25/2020 at 4:53 PM, Jupiter said:

 

LOL this is awesome. :D 

It's quite useful, especially now that his happy ass is getting out of bed at 7am for yoga (it takes a lot of time to get him out of bed)

 

On 5/25/2020 at 5:32 PM, analoggirl said:

Thank you for sharing.

 

So much awesomeness. Gif happiness is befitting. I may be repeating myself but, I haven't been along for the rough ride so thanks for having me along for your victories!!

I'm sure you'll get to see Scribbles (my anxiety) rear her head eventually, but hopefully it's not the same roller coaster it always is.

 

20 hours ago, Salinger said:

amazing, so great to see you doing so well!!!!! xx

Thanks!!

 

16 hours ago, Quirky Quinn said:

image.gif.c37ce3e437714badf90a9ed528378c58.gif

Pretty much.  All smiles over here.

 

Yesterday finished out well

  • Organizing✔️
  • 6 assignments ✔️
  • Duolingo ✔️
  • In bed by 10:30 ✔️
  • No screens after 10 
  • Yoga: ✔️
  • Sweep/Vacuum: ✔️

 

So, the momentum continues here.  We had therapy today and our therapist was very happy with our progress, and we got to talk about some of our future goals moving forward and do some dreaming together, which is amazing.

 

I got a really sweet email from a student today that made me feel so appreciated, and it was everything I needed to get me through the end of this semester.  I am so disappointed that I only got 7 weeks with my sophomores.  They were inquisitive, had great personalities, and worked hard.  I loved them and I will 100% miss them.

 

Today's only task was to clean out the fridge to make a grocery list, and that's done.  We are cooking a lot of things we love that we haven't made in a while: fish and chips, perogis, burritos, and chorizo burgers.  My next challenge is going to start focusing back on food intake, but I am happy to try to be more mindful about cooking more until next challenge.

 

That's about all for today.

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On 5/24/2020 at 8:34 AM, Novaurora said:

We have turned corners before, and it's felt so good, but this one feels different.  It's not just me trying to be better for him and focusing on just me; since I am finally able to help him, it's us trying to be better for each other. 

 

On 5/25/2020 at 10:01 AM, Novaurora said:

Today has started off well.  We did extracurricular yoga this morning, so regular yoga will wait until tonight, my school work is done, and we made a tasty pancake breakfast.  Like, I feel like I'm living in a dream world.  My life is not this good.  We are never this happy for this long.  I'm never this relaxed for this long.  Like WTF.

I think you're onto something with this corner feeling different. One thing I've found to be true in my own life is that even though there will always be difficult times, once I turned a Big Corner, the Difficult Times felt different. Sometimes, because I was afraid of a repeat, I had to remind myself that just because I'm feeling such and such feelings doesn't mean I'm headed to same spiral I hit 5 years ago, but the work I put into my mental space and the support of the people around me that I built up during the good times paid off and it was a different kind of difficult time. It wasn't as bad because I was in a better place to cope and deal in a healthier way. Things that would have felt crippling 5-10 years ago are manageable challenges now, and as a result life overall feels better. I'm really glad things are so good for you right now, and that by becoming both of you healthier and better for each other, helping each other, having this prolonged good time, you'll be more equipped to deal with trying times in the future. May these good times be your new normal. 😃

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23 hours ago, foxinthenorth said:

. It wasn't as bad because I was in a better place to cope and deal in a healthier way. Things that would have felt crippling 5-10 years ago are manageable challenges now, and as a result life overall feels better. 

This is really it.  It's the ability to cope with the challenges and not take everything personally, and have adult conversations and continue taking small steps forward instead of bounding forward and getting knocked back.  It's a new frontier and I love it.

 

On 5/27/2020 at 3:53 PM, foxinthenorth said:

May these good times be your new normal. 😃

 

16 hours ago, Salinger said:

So Great to see your progress Nova :) long may this continue ❤️ xx

Thanks guys!  This is my hope.  I'm so ready for this!!

 

Happy Thursday!  Everything is still going well.  I'm very happy and we are making good progress.  We have not missed a day of yoga yet, we have swept and vacuumed every day, and we continue to communicate.  It's interesting how this challenge has morphed into OUR challenge, not just mine.  We are actually talking about adding another element next week in terms of healthy eating, so we are taking baby steps in a lot of different directions.  My "do 2 things a day" goal has been less important because I have built a system of dailies with my husband, and the idea of 2 random things has actually become a system, and I love that.  I am still really struggling with my night time routine.  I haven't been following my phone rules very well, so I will continue to work on that.

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Such a happy report.Woot for the progress. I can never talk Mr. Incredible into posting a challenge, but he makes his goals, and we work on certain things together like walking.

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55 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Did I miss it? Is school out?

Today was the last day for students.  I have 2 weeks of admin type stuff to deal with in terms of grades and whatever else.  It wasn't my favorite semester, but I made the best of it.

 

9 hours ago, Salinger said:

Great Nova :D so glad you are keeping this going ❤️ xx

Thanks!!  It feels great.

 

11 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Such a happy report.Woot for the progress. I can never talk Mr. Incredible into posting a challenge, but he makes his goals, and we work on certain things together like walking.

Yeah.  Hubs will never post a challenge, but apparently I'm a great accountability partner (at least when it comes to waking up, vacuuming and doing yoga)

 

12 hours ago, GoodDoug said:

I love that you are taking baby steps and that seems to be helping.

Yes.  I think having him on board is helping too. It always felt weird before to kind of make my challenge goals work around him.  This is much better.

 

Today was just like the other days.  All tasks accounted for.  Hubs and I still doing well.  No complaints.  We are adding night time yoga next week and I'm excited because I really wanted to focus on flexibility this year as I am VERY tight.  We are also adding a food goal: healthy salads for lunch because vegetables are very much lacking in our lives.  We are banning heavy dressing (basalmic vinigarete and zesty Italian will be our go tos) and prepping some chicken and eggs for easy protein this weekend.  

 

I'm still not fighting him much on the eating out for dinner because he was super excited about the salad thing and his depression really is making good progress, but I did tell him to pick a number of days he wanted to eat dinner at home, and we would stick to that.  He said 4, and I can live with that.  My hope would be to get that down to 1 eventually, but again, baby steps.

 

My heart has been really heavy with everything going on, and I need to step away from the news and the various reddit rabbit holes I find, but it's hard.  I don't pray very often, but I have been praying a lot lately.  Places are burning and people are being needlessly killed. Americans don't feel safe in America. Violence is being glorified and there are so many hypocritical double standards I lost count. I'm scared for our country right now.  It feels like we are approaching a place where we can't come back from, and I don't know what that will mean for our minority populations or my vulnerable students or people in poverty or anyone else in this country that is marginalized.  Anyway, before I go to far or make this overly political, I should probably head off.

 

Goodnight everyone.

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Two weeks. Wow.

Congratulations on finishing. From what I’ve read here, it sounds like you did better than most.

I’m really afraid I’m going to find out my post-student days are going to be filled up with Zoom professional development.

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