It's the final countdown!

[Renate]

On 7/8/2020 at 9:43 PM, zenLara said:

I guess that's what will happen to her. Although I'm not sure what happens with red haired kids, they apparently keep their color. When we're at home she looks blond, but out in the sun it is literally orange. Like a carrot Plenty of people stop us in the streets to take a look at her hair. I blame my boyfriend's choice of a nordic name for her: she probably felt like she needed to respond to that challenge

 

Love it

 

Congrats!!!

 

Sucks to hear about your experience with one. Glad to hear there were three other great people to "balance it out" AND you are managing to look at the good things + the natural oxytocin is doing its job etc.etc.

 

I think the story is not that bad. it is not about the birth itself but the personnel. I will make a mental note to yell at any midwife that tries to leave without saying EXACTLY when she will be back. Idk if that will help me/a friend/someone, but it is good to know they are not supposed to walk off like that and things need to be monitored more closely with possible exercises to try if needed etc.

 

You are a championnnn. 30 hours. What a marathon. This makes me so happy to read, about your happiness.

 

Did you mention how you arranged the parent situation?  I will read back if you have and do not feel like repeating.

 

[Lara]

Apparently, there is a still a world outside

Things are going well. Kid is growing and changing a little bit every day. Breastfeeding is challenging but we're getting the hang of it. I'm extremely lucky that Wolvie is very active when she's awake, but sleeps a lot, specially at nights when she will sleep for hours in a row, and it also seems that I'm the luckiest for not having had cracked nipples at any point and finding the experience of breastfeeding extremely nice and soothing. These two things make everything way easier than what people usually tell about the first months (yes, now the awful stories are about cracked nipples, not having enough milk, kids that only sleep half an hour at night and/or cry the whole time, but since I'm not going through any of that they can talk as much as they want).

We had a bad start with the pediatrician, who told me the baby wasn't growing fast enough and started to pressure me to give up breastfeeding and switch to formula. He would make us go 3 times a week to weight the kid and made us begin to obsess with it, until he started on the old song "you don't have enough milk, she's not well nourished" and accompanied it with comments such as "look at those skinny legs. A kid with skinny legs is a hungry kid", and "if by monday she doesn't weight X, I will have to take measures". WTF. At that point I decided to stop attending the visits and found a new pediatrician, who is pro-breastfeeding, and said that 600 grams in one month and 4 cm is enough growth for the first month and that we should stop worrying and weight her once a month tops.

 

On 7/11/2020 at 5:33 PM, analoggirl said:

Did you mention how you arranged the parent situation? 

Visits. Well, parents-in-law behaved. Waited until we called, and visited us at the hospital once. Then at home, a couple more times. The first one they were awesome and brought cooked meals that lasted us for about 4-5 days, which made it way easier to navigate the first week.

Then we've had some friends, only a couple of people every time and for a short while, and we've also met with some of my students and their parents at the park while taking a walk (we've bought a very nice evolutive mei tai to carry the kid and she loves it).

With my family, things are not decided yet. As I think I mentioned, my mother is being the only rational one here, respecting our decisions, and she's also been very respectful of me not wanting to talk to her on the phone. She's slowly trying to build a better relationship through text messages, using the child as a way to bond. I'm quite comfortable with it so while I'm not encouraging it, I'm taking the time to answer all her messages and sending her all the pictures she asks for. My father has said absolutely nothing so far, so we're still in doubt he has understood he has a granddaughter.

My brother keeps on making the awfulest plans (awfulest or most awful? I'm in doubt), such as wanting everybody to stay at home with us (this is, 6 adults and the kid in a small appartment for a week) or worst: he would go fetch my parents to our hometown and bring them to where he lives (2 hours ride), then wait there until her wife wakes up (around 2-3 pm), then come all together here (4 hours drive), see us for a couple of hours, and then go back home at night. Apparently he can't see the craziness of the idea, specially for our parents, who are +70. I see he doesn't care about them,  he also has a bad relationship with them, same as me, but that is one thing, and treating them like that is a different one.

So that's still unsolved. But at least we've had a month to be here on our own and get settled without any more pressure on his side.

 

Other good news are that I recovered very quickly. I lost all of my extra weight through the very first week and bleeding only lasted for about 10 days after birth. If I could have full night sleeps I would be as good as ever, but fragmented sleep makes life a bit too tiring and uncomfortable. Since the kid is still slow to feed herself, my life is currently reduced to breastfeeding, eating, basic hygiene, a short walk a day and trying to sleep and rest as much as I can. I guess life will be a bit more varied after another month.

[Mad Hatter]

16 minutes ago, zenLara said:

Apparently, there is a still a world outside

Are you sure?  

 

Do the doctors take into account the bodies of the parents when they decide what growth is healthy? I'm wondering since if you're naturally on the smaller side, maybe the baby simply is too. And do they always look at absolute numbers rather than percentages?

[Renate]

🙄 No worries. The pediatrician of my baby sis kept saying she is too heavy (formula, I did not drink my mom's breast milk for more than a month after birth either). Now my sis is the fittest of us all hehe.  As a baby I was also very small and my grandparents fed me until I was a bit too heavy and then evened out as well. Sounds like you guys did the right thing  😁 

 

For the rest: 🥰 So glad to hear everything. Sure it is probably stressful to just hear about your bro's plans but overall I am very happy you are having a pleasant experience. And no post partum lows so far etc. Given all the dramatic talks before. 

[WhiteGhost]

On 7/24/2020 at 4:09 PM, zenLara said:

but since I'm not going through any of that

So glad to hear that things are going well, and that you are avoiding most o the common new parent troubles.  Also, good for you for ignoring the pediatrician, and finding one with a clue  

 

On 7/24/2020 at 4:28 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Do the doctors take into account the bodies of the parents when they decide what growth is healthy?

Not in my experience.  As far as I know there is a standard chart and everybody just compares the babies to the standard chart.

[Endor]

On 7/24/2020 at 6:09 PM, zenLara said:

making the awfulest plans (awfulest or most awful? I'm in doubt)

Most awful since you asked, all corrections are on hold, you get a pass for a few weeks given your circumstances!

 

Glad to hear it all seems to be going well. 

[Mad Hatter]

On 7/26/2020 at 1:19 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Not in my experience.  As far as I know there is a standard chart and everybody just compares the babies to the standard chart.

Sounds dumb, yet unsurprising.  

[KB Girl]

On 7/24/2020 at 10:09 AM, zenLara said:

At that point I decided to stop attending the visits and found a new pediatrician

Good on you!

Glad everything is going so well! Your recovery sounds really great. And I'm glad you're getting stretches of sleep. I totally relate to the soothing experience of feeding and isn't it nice to carry a baby close ❤️ 

 

On 7/27/2020 at 4:29 PM, Mad Hatter said:

On 7/26/2020 at 12:19 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Not in my experience.  As far as I know there is a standard chart and everybody just compares the babies to the standard chart.

Sounds dumb, yet unsurprising.  

Actually they use growth curves depending on birth weight and as long as your baby doesn't deviate from his or her starting curve by more than 1 then everybody should relax. It's really a pretty good system.. it's idiots like that first paediatrician that mess things up.