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Flea Gonna Do Stuff


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22 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I refer back to my previous concept. The way to get a Narc is not to fight on their terms, it's to be uninteresting. They need, above all else, attention.

https://www.healthline.com/health/grey-rock

Apologies if I have suggested this before.

Oh no, I hear you. I’m just a petty bitch too. I knew it would piss him off and I knew he’d never help me anyway, so I definitely did it on purpose and didn’t lose anything by it. I just expected more of a “ewww noooo” or some kind of performative “I wish I could but you know I can’t handle that stuff, I’m sorry I’m a terrible person etc.” Walking out of the room wasn’t anticipated.

 

I do really need to work on grey rocking more though. My need for (positive) attention/approval means I share way too much information and I need to scale that shit back in a big way. 

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Welp, my adulting thing for the day is calling the derm office because the written instructions I got said not to touch it for 48 hours but I was told verbally to change the bandage after 24. The nurse I spoke to said it’s 48 but given it’s in an area that sweats a lot it’s likely wet so I should change it anyway. So I did. There’s a hell of a bruise, but my skin is much angrier about the bandage adhesive than it is about the wound itself. This is going to be a super fun two weeks. 

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10 minutes ago, fleaball said:

My need for (positive) attention/approval means I share way too much information and I need to scale that shit back in a big way. 

I was the same way for a long time with my ex until I realized I would rarely get positive attention, and even then it wasn't enough. That desperate need for approval is part of how they control us. 

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Desperate need for approval - oh yeah. Been there, big time.  I’ve been realizing lately that my desperate need for approval is a large part of what has sucked me into some bad relationships. Anyone who paid me any kind of attention was someone who sucked me in, and I would do anything, be anyone, to get their approval. It’s been hard, but I need to find out who I am and be strong with it, before I let myself into any kind of relationship. The shutdown has been kind of a blessing in that. And the relationships here on NF have been very supportive and helpful. It’s even harder since you are stuck with those a holes for a while yet. Hang in there.

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1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I was the same way for a long time with my ex until I realized I would rarely get positive attention, and even then it wasn't enough. That desperate need for approval is part of how they control us. 

Yeah. I’m slowly training myself not to share everything with my family, but it’s slow going. Trying to redirect to begging for attention here instead, with an eventual goal of getting the approval from myself instead of elsewhere. 
 

38 minutes ago, Emma said:

Desperate need for approval - oh yeah. Been there, big time.  I’ve been realizing lately that my desperate need for approval is a large part of what has sucked me into some bad relationships. Anyone who paid me any kind of attention was someone who sucked me in, and I would do anything, be anyone, to get their approval. It’s been hard, but I need to find out who I am and be strong with it, before I let myself into any kind of relationship. The shutdown has been kind of a blessing in that. And the relationships here on NF have been very supportive and helpful. It’s even harder since you are stuck with those a holes for a while yet. Hang in there.

Yuuuuuup. So many of my toxic friendships started like this and I’ve only realized it recently. And it’s why I’m lowkey terrified of actual relationships. But that’s what therapy is for, I guess. 

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Fucking lawl. I just read my last post back to myself and I realized the way I know y’all are actually my friends/family is I’m not afraid to tell you when I didn’t do something or when I tried and bombed it. I don’t love saying I didn’t do something, but I don’t feel the need to hide it either. 

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6 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Fucking lawl. I just read my last post back to myself and I realized the way I know y’all are actually my friends/family is I’m not afraid to tell you when I didn’t do something or when I tried and bombed it. I don’t love saying I didn’t do something, but I don’t feel the need to hide it either. 

Hugs friend. I'm proud to be part of your friend team.

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