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fleaball

Flea Gonna Do Stuff

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Christ on a cracker. 
 

Attempt Dunkins before running errands: fail - people were joining the drive thru line from two different directions and fighting over who was first. Coffee wasn’t worth it. 
 

CVS: done with no issues

 

Vet office: fail - I eventually got what I wanted. However, what should have been a quick stop turned into an ordeal because they gave me the wrong food. Twice. And they aren’t letting people inside, they come out and leave the food on a bench next to the door and you grab it when they’re gone, so twice I had to call again, wait for them to pick up then go grab the right food and bring it out. And actually they didn’t even have the flavor I wanted, although they had the right kidney formula so I just took what they had since fucking FedEx sucks balls. 
 

while writing this I just noticed yellow spots on a pillow ive been using when I sit on my futon. That’s awesome. No idea how long that’s been there. 
 

Anyway. 
 

Dunkins #2 - fail. Ordered via the app, drive thru person said they had my order, I get to the window and they try to hand me someone else’s. That turns into a thing as they try to confirm what I got and where my order was. Apparently it was in the in store pickup part of the counter even though their signs all said drive through only?

 

Target - massive fail. I’d ordered some stuff for drive up pickup last night so I could spend less time in the store, but the stuff I really actually wanted to get wasn't available for that option. Waited in a designated spot for them to bring me my shit, and then drove away because the store was fucking mobbed. There was a line at least 20 people deep waiting to get inside as they were limiting the number of people shopping. I can live without my OTC medication I wanted to grab, so I bailed. It’s not worth it. 

 

Lunch - fail. I was going to stop at a local place but their drive thru line was wrapped around the building, probably a 45-minute wait based on how long I’ve waited there in the past, and they aren’t allowing people inside. So yeah fuck that. 
 

So here I am, back at home, a weird mix of angry/frustrated and just exhausted and done. The ONLY thing that went as planned today was CVS, which was just me picking up prescriptions for my father and brother. Nothing for myself, just grabbing it while I was out so we can all limit trips. 
 

I need to clean tonight. I want to clean tonight. I want to see a clear floor and things put back where they belong instead of just hanging out wherever. But I also don’t want to do anything at all. 

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You did great. Other people screwing up does not constitute a fail on your part. It's annoying and aggravating, sure, but you did not fail. You used a lot of spoons and got a lot done BEFORE LUNCH so go easy on yourself whether you clean or not.

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2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You did great. Other people screwing up does not constitute a fail on your part. It's annoying and aggravating, sure, but you did not fail. You used a lot of spoons and got a lot done BEFORE LUNCH so go easy on yourself whether you clean or not.

Oh no, I wasn’t saying that I failed. Just that the errands themselves didn’t work out. I know it’s not obvious in writing but in my head there’s a clear distinction between “I failed” and “I tried but the universe was against me today.” This was all 100% the latter. But I appreciate you looking out. :)

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Okay so vacuuming isn’t happening after all. Ate food, then started working on my Coursera classes because oops most of them have deadlines for 2:59am Monday. Turns out learning things is relaxing for me. (Nerd.) So then I got caught up in all that and suddenly it’s 9pm. Now my plan is to do everything but vacuum, get a few other smaller tasks done, maybe make some tea, and then play my game before attempting sleep. 
 

The meditation class claims it has 7 hours’ worth of lecture videos/readings/assignments. I’m thinking I might just not try to get that one done on time - it’s not for a certificate or anything (and even then Coursera’s certificates hold no actual value anyway) so idc if I ‘fail’ a no-credit course because I prioritized not going crazy trying to finish it on time. 
 

edit: nope, there will be no more productivity tonight after all. I just hit a wall of some kind so now it’s blanket and video games until bedtime. Screw it. 

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

(Nerd.)

You say that like it's a bad thing. I'm sorry that the Universe gave you a big "No" today, but that doesn't mean that it'll happen the next time!

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5 hours ago, Red1263 said:

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

I think it was more of a "ahhh of course I do. Nerd!" :D

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

(and even then Coursera’s certificates hold no actual value anyway) so idc if I ‘fail’ a no-credit course because I prioritized not going crazy trying to finish it on time. 

 

Good! 😊

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Today is not a horrible day but I’m still not feeling it. Nothing is wrong, I don’t have to go out anywhere, I have nothing to do for anyone but myself. But since I woke up I’m just feeling wholly unmotivated. There’s definitely stuff I have to do today regardless, but I’m thinking overall I’m going to be doing the bare minimum, and then when that’s done I’ll see how I feel

about anything extra. 
 

huh. I wonder if this is some kind of hangover from all the stress and frustration yesterday. 

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4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

huh. I wonder if this is some kind of hangover from all the stress and frustration yesterday.

 

I think so too. Feel free to treat it like a regular hangover - lots of water and stay away from noise lol (I suppose borscht isn't needed :) )

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Day: 1 - 5/10

1. (physical health) ate an orange

2. (mental health) unenrolled from 3 courses that weren't worth it

3. (personal development etc) several coursera lessons

4. (to do list) N/A

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gross, I hate the way that code thing turned out. I'll figure out a different way to do it tomorrow I guess. Or I'll just leave it as is and just keep complaining about it. 

 

Also aaargh. I was going to order dinner from a vegan place that I love that just joined Uber Eats. Except they close at 7:30 and it's now 7:50. Because I spent half an hour teaching my father how to use ebooks from the library on his iPad. (IT'S NOT. FUCKING. HARD.) Anyway, yeah. I lost track of time and also didn't expect it to take that long. I should have known better. Oh well. 

 

As for what I wanted to do today... got coursera done before all the deadlines, plus left some I didn't want to do and wow, instantly less stressed. Put away the groceries that came. Still haven't done anything in my room, but trash WILL get done tonight because it's trash night anyway. And then maybe tomorrow I can vacuum and whatnot. Also sleep would be nice. I woke up like every 90 minutes today for no obvious reason. 

 

And I forgot that the reason I wanted to go into Target yesterday, aside from grabbing medication, is that they had the tempeh I've been craving. So I might just try dragging my ass up there again tomorrow and see if it works out. my brain is being dumb again and fixating on "gotta go to Target and get the stuff!" (Could I relieve it by going somewhere other than Target? Technically, but it's either Target or a supermarket if I want both tempeh and medicine, and at that point Target is both cheaper and much less stressful to actually shop in.)

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OK. For your dad. I've had to do this - it's Passive Agressive as FUCK .... but it might work.

Spend a little extra time screen shotting EVERY. Fucking. frame. Circles. Arrows. DETAILED instructions. Make a binder with tabs for names of the website\action. Print and put it in the binder and give it to him. If he's suffering from some sort of actual memory issue - this will fix it. If he's ACTUALLY doing it annoy you - point to the book and try not to tell him to grow up. Or do. You never know.....

Also - I totally believe the family BS. For reasons. See previous Passive\Aggressive action that can figure it out if it's ACTUALLY important to them rather than something they'd rather get someone else to do....

Hang in there. Adulting is hard.

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14 minutes ago, Athaclena said:

OK. For your dad. I've had to do this - it's Passive Agressive as FUCK .... but it might work.

Spend a little extra time screen shotting EVERY. Fucking. frame. Circles. Arrows. DETAILED instructions. Make a binder with tabs for names of the website\action. Print and put it in the binder and give it to him. If he's suffering from some sort of actual memory issue - this will fix it. If he's ACTUALLY doing it annoy you - point to the book and try not to tell him to grow up. Or do. You never know.....

Also - I totally believe the family BS. For reasons. See previous Passive\Aggressive action that can figure it out if it's ACTUALLY important to them rather than something they'd rather get someone else to do....

Hang in there. Adulting is hard.

I did actually try this once upon a time. Didn’t work. Because he’s a fucking moron. Basically he gets so flustered if he can’t do something on the first try that he can’t even understand directions anymore. Like actually can not comprehend what he’s being told. Even if I’m pointing to the thing and saying “okay click here” he can’t figure it out. Whether it’s a personality issue or a brain issue I have no idea. Now I just walk him through everything and make him do all the clicking and typing and whatever and hope muscle memory kicks in or something. I’ve had some success, but there’s no rhyme or reason to what he manages on his own and what he fails at. 

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4 hours ago, fleaball said:

2. (mental health) unenrolled from 3 courses that weren't worth it

 

As soon as I saw this I thought this was the biggest win in that list.

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

plus left some I didn't want to do and wow, instantly less stressed

 

And that just confirmed it :)  

 

We can only do so much, gotta focus on what's most important and relevant to us at any given time!

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12 hours ago, fleaball said:

I did actually try this once upon a time. Didn’t work. Because he’s a fucking moron. Basically he gets so flustered if he can’t do something on the first try that he can’t even understand directions anymore. Like actually can not comprehend what he’s being told. Even if I’m pointing to the thing and saying “okay click here” he can’t figure it out. Whether it’s a personality issue or a brain issue I have no idea. Now I just walk him through everything and make him do all the clicking and typing and whatever and hope muscle memory kicks in or something. I’ve had some success, but there’s no rhyme or reason to what he manages on his own and what he fails at. 

 

Ugh. I couldn't deal with that. That is some serious control shizzle. He can figure it out (because he can for things he doesn't want you involved with). I'm so sorry you have to deal with it and I know you're also not in a position to get out of it either (which is how I handled it). I don't think there's enough chamomile tea in the world for me to deal with my dear old dad....

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I would just like to chime in that Saturday was a hot mess of a shopping day and that I am proud of you for even attempting more than one stop anywhere. We generally do our grocery shopping on Saturdays and this one was horrid and we almost noped out. 

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Reading about your shopping adventures makes me glad to live in a small town. Almost none of our stores have lines outside. Just home depot since everyone is doing home improvement projects right now.

 

What is Coursera and how does it work? I briefly looked at the website and it seems kind of online-collegely? Is there more to it that just that?

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11 minutes ago, Neeko said:

Reading about your shopping adventures makes me glad to live in a small town. Almost none of our stores have lines outside. Just home depot since everyone is doing home improvement projects right now.

 

What is Coursera and how does it work? I briefly looked at the website and it seems kind of online-collegely? Is there more to it that just that?

Yeah there’s a Home Depot in the same plaza as the Target I went to and it was even more mobbed. People are crazy. 
 

Coursera is online courses but with the exception of a few degrees they offer in partnership with some schools, there’s no credit given for them. For a lot of classes you can pay like $50 for certificates, but they don’t hold any weight and it’s basically just “this confirms that Flea passed this class.” If you’re not trying to pass or anything you don’t even have to do the assignments. Basically for most people it’s kinda just “I want to learn about a thing so I’m taking this class.” If you don’t want a certificate it’s all free. There are classes in a ton of different subjects, in different languages, from universities around the world. Most of the ones I’m currently taking are in the realm of personal/career development, because not only do I need that stuff, since I’m job hunting it gives me something to talk about in interviews (look what I did during quarantine, and also look how I’m working on weaknesses!). Once I’m done with these I’m definitely looking into language classes and social science-y stuff that interests me and is kind of related to my degrees. And then whatever else I find interesting. 

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1 hour ago, fleaball said:

Yeah there’s a Home Depot in the same plaza as the Target I went to and it was even more mobbed. People are crazy. 
 

Coursera is online courses but with the exception of a few degrees they offer in partnership with some schools, there’s no credit given for them. For a lot of classes you can pay like $50 for certificates, but they don’t hold any weight and it’s basically just “this confirms that Flea passed this class.” If you’re not trying to pass or anything you don’t even have to do the assignments. Basically for most people it’s kinda just “I want to learn about a thing so I’m taking this class.” If you don’t want a certificate it’s all free. There are classes in a ton of different subjects, in different languages, from universities around the world. Most of the ones I’m currently taking are in the realm of personal/career development, because not only do I need that stuff, since I’m job hunting it gives me something to talk about in interviews (look what I did during quarantine, and also look how I’m working on weaknesses!). Once I’m done with these I’m definitely looking into language classes and social science-y stuff that interests me and is kind of related to my degrees. And then whatever else I find interesting. 

 

Oh, that's neat! An interesting way to expand your horizons. I'm doing online college still for my RN. I can only handle one of these classes at a time. You made my heart stop when I read that you signed up for so many classes at once! I definitely give you credit for that and for knowing your limits. I think I'll look into it a little. It might be nice to give my mind something new to think about.

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*shakes head and just nods since I understand the dad problem well*

So whose turn is it to work on the rocket ship  for our parents?

How did that one comment get Space Oddity stuck in my head.

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