Tamesis Posted May 14, 2020 Report Share Posted May 14, 2020 *hugs* 1 Quote Level 1 Elf Rebel Ranger STR 0.15 || DEX 0.00 || STA 0.36 || CON 4.71 || WIS 6.47 || CHA 3.32 Character Profile || Fitbit Battle Log || Current Challenge Link to comment
fleaball Posted May 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2020 Today started out as not a bad day. And then my father decided to vacuum and it turns out he’s absolutely useless at it and he’s just been yelling at the thing for 15 minutes. It’s taking everything I have no to go down there and fix whatever self-inflicted issue he’s having. My new approach with his tantrums is to wait until I’m asked for help, and if that doesn’t happen I’ll only fix a thing if I need it myself or if somehow whatever he’s done is some kind of hazard. But it’s so fucking hard because I just want him to stop screaming at the vacuum because he can’t figure out how to use it properly. A fucking vacuum. 4 3 2 Quote Level 69 Battle Kitten Battle Log | Current Challenge MyFitnessPal | Fitbit | Duolingo Ici je vis la vie que j'ai choisie Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie C'est dit, c'est ainsi Link to comment
Lateral Planet Posted May 14, 2020 Report Share Posted May 14, 2020 13 minutes ago, fleaball said: Today started out as not a bad day. And then my father decided to vacuum and it turns out he’s absolutely useless at it and he’s just been yelling at the thing for 15 minutes. It’s taking everything I have no to go down there and fix whatever self-inflicted issue he’s having. My new approach with his tantrums is to wait until I’m asked for help, and if that doesn’t happen I’ll only fix a thing if I need it myself or if somehow whatever he’s done is some kind of hazard. But it’s so fucking hard because I just want him to stop screaming at the vacuum because he can’t figure out how to use it properly. A fucking vacuum. I don't know about your vacuum, but generally you just plug it in and hit the on button so the mind boggles at how he could've possibly messed that up. Tantrums are an awfully passive-aggressive way to get help/attention so good on you for holding firm and waiting for a sincere request for help. Hope things calm down soon 2 Quote Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 1 hour ago, fleaball said: Today started out as not a bad day. And then my father decided to vacuum and it turns out he’s absolutely useless at it and he’s just been yelling at the thing for 15 minutes. It’s taking everything I have no to go down there and fix whatever self-inflicted issue he’s having. My new approach with his tantrums is to wait until I’m asked for help, and if that doesn’t happen I’ll only fix a thing if I need it myself or if somehow whatever he’s done is some kind of hazard. But it’s so fucking hard because I just want him to stop screaming at the vacuum because he can’t figure out how to use it properly. A fucking vacuum. I'm proud of you. It's gonna suck (ha, no pun intended) at first, but you'll get better at it. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Severine Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 Hey! Just figured I would mention that I'm here now, and just caught up. My grandmother spent the last week and a half in hospital up in Toronto (long story, but she is out now, and doesn't have covid unless she caught it in there) and things were pretty fucking stressful for awhile there so I unplugged from just about everything else. I did the Demystifying Mindfulness course! A year or two ago. Liked it pretty well overall. I'm now happily in a state where I mostly look forward to meditating rather than seeing it as a goalish thing I SHOULD do and then end up avoiding. I think that's actually the result of the French mindfulness course I did, not the coursera one, but there was probably some cumulative effect going on too. You're being hardier than me re: Boston errands, honestly. We've just said fuck it for anything we don't urgently need because shopping is such a shitshow right now and stores are out of so much and delivery services are so unreliable. Plus I only feel okay using delivery if we leave a big tip and then it gets expensive. Obviously for cat food and meds etc. there's no choice, but anything else I'm just waiting until it's urgent. Plus my area has higher rates of infection than almost anywhere around here, woo. On 5/7/2020 at 10:44 PM, fleaball said: Thanks. Listening does help, tbh. Since no one here has met my family, I can be honest about what happens and I don't have to worry that no one will believe me or will think I'm exaggerating or anything. For the record, having seen the dumbass stuff your dad and brother do at the house (that hole in the kitchen ceiling, good lord) I think if anything you're being quite measured in your reports of their fuckery. 5 Quote Fitbit | Current Challenge | Old Challenges: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 Forum avatar is original art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Used with permission! Link to comment
Severine Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 Also now because of you I have a challenge - thank you for your many gentle reminders 5 Quote Fitbit | Current Challenge | Old Challenges: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 Forum avatar is original art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Used with permission! Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 5 hours ago, fleaball said: Today started out as not a bad day. And then my father decided to vacuum and it turns out he’s absolutely useless at it and he’s just been yelling at the thing for 15 minutes. It’s taking everything I have no to go down there and fix whatever self-inflicted issue he’s having. My new approach with his tantrums is to wait until I’m asked for help, and if that doesn’t happen I’ll only fix a thing if I need it myself or if somehow whatever he’s done is some kind of hazard. But it’s so fucking hard because I just want him to stop screaming at the vacuum because he can’t figure out how to use it properly. A fucking vacuum. The thought occurred to me that perhaps he CAN figure it out but hopes that by shouting at it loud enough you will come and take over for him so he can avoid doing the thing 4 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
juliebarkley Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 46 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said: The thought occurred to me that perhaps he CAN figure it out but hopes that by shouting at it loud enough you will come and take over for him so he can avoid doing the thing Absolutely. My mother uses this tactic regularly with technology, often followed by a loud "Well, I give up. I guess xxx just won't ever get done!" Attempted manipulation via guilt. 3 Quote Challenge: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 Link to comment
fleaball Posted May 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 I’ll get back to you all eventually. in the meantime can if anyone knows how to get a brain transplant so I can be a mildly functioning human being instead of a walking disaster please hit me up. 6 Quote Level 69 Battle Kitten Battle Log | Current Challenge MyFitnessPal | Fitbit | Duolingo Ici je vis la vie que j'ai choisie Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie C'est dit, c'est ainsi Link to comment
Severine Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 1 hour ago, fleaball said: I’ll get back to you all eventually. in the meantime can if anyone knows how to get a brain transplant so I can be a mildly functioning human being instead of a walking disaster please hit me up. This is a radical medical approach but I think transplanting your dad and brother out of the house would greatly improve things. 4 Quote Fitbit | Current Challenge | Old Challenges: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 Forum avatar is original art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Used with permission! Link to comment
Sylvaa Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 So this showed up on my timeline and I thought of you. Not because of the laziness point, but because the random motivation. 8 1 Quote Sylvaa's BattleLog Sylvaa's Tracking Spreadsheet Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 15, 2020 Report Share Posted May 15, 2020 17 hours ago, WhiteGhost said: The thought occurred to me that perhaps he CAN figure it out but hopes that by shouting at it loud enough you will come and take over for him so he can avoid doing the thing DING DING DING! 10 hours ago, fleaball said: I’ll get back to you all eventually. in the meantime can if anyone knows how to get a brain transplant so I can be a mildly functioning human being instead of a walking disaster please hit me up. If I may, you don't need a brain transplant, you either need a house transplant or your house needs a men-ectomy. 6 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Red1263 Posted May 16, 2020 Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 18 hours ago, fleaball said: I’ll get back to you all eventually. in the meantime can if anyone knows how to get a brain transplant so I can be a mildly functioning human being instead of a walking disaster please hit me up. Well... there is one option Also good on you to not reacting to EVERYTHING your dad does that frustrates you. I hope if nothing else, you gain patience. 2 Quote Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14 Goals for 2021: Spoiler Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp Learn how to do a Handstand Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized) Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine Build a shelving unit next to my Desk "No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing." "When you stand with your family, your family stands with you." "Write what needs to be written." Link to comment
fleaball Posted May 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 Okay, I’m tapping out. I’ve taken everything said on this page as criticism and being yelled at, even though that’s probably not what it was meant to be. I don’t know why I’m so sensitive all of a sudden but I clearly need to pull back and regroup. I’m going to hide in a blanket fort for an undetermined amount of time. I’m only making this post so you know I’m not dead. 5 5 Quote Level 69 Battle Kitten Battle Log | Current Challenge MyFitnessPal | Fitbit | Duolingo Ici je vis la vie que j'ai choisie Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie C'est dit, c'est ainsi Link to comment
Athena Posted May 16, 2020 Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 To be fair, there probably WAS criticism and internal screaming to some degree but towards the people making you feel like you do, not you. And there was no smidgeon of blame aimed at you for being in this situation. (We just enjoy imagining you COULD simply transplant them out of your life.) Insert virtual hug. 2 Quote Level ☆ human [uncategorizable] STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6 Link to comment
Sylvaa Posted May 16, 2020 Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 6 hours ago, fleaball said: Okay, I’m tapping out. I’ve taken everything said on this page as criticism and being yelled at, even though that’s probably not what it was meant to be. I don’t know why I’m so sensitive all of a sudden but I clearly need to pull back and regroup. I’m going to hide in a blanket fort for an undetermined amount of time. I’m only making this post so you know I’m not dead. In before Tank can beat me to this: Your feelings are valid, regardless of the poster's (myself included) intent. To be very fair, I knew before I posted that there was a chance my post could be construed badly (the reason for my disclaimer in the post). I'm sorry that you feel that way (in general, but also in regards to my post). 3 1 Quote Sylvaa's BattleLog Sylvaa's Tracking Spreadsheet Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 16, 2020 Report Share Posted May 16, 2020 5 hours ago, Sylvaa said: In before Tank can beat me to this: Your feelings are valid, regardless of the poster's (myself included) intent. To be very fair, I knew before I posted that there was a chance my post could be construed badly (the reason for my disclaimer in the post). I'm sorry that you feel that way (in general, but also in regards to my post). Well done. She's right Flea. Also, Kudos to you, Flea, for acknowledging your feelings, being open to the idea they might not be grounded in fact, and still taking care of yourself thereby validating your own feelings. That is an emotionally mature way to interact with the situation. 5 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Tateman Posted May 17, 2020 Report Share Posted May 17, 2020 Hope you are feeling better soon. 1 Quote Tateland.com, Instagram, Fitbit Link to comment
Red1263 Posted May 17, 2020 Report Share Posted May 17, 2020 3 Quote Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14 Goals for 2021: Spoiler Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp Learn how to do a Handstand Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized) Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine Build a shelving unit next to my Desk "No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing." "When you stand with your family, your family stands with you." "Write what needs to be written." Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted May 18, 2020 Report Share Posted May 18, 2020 On 5/16/2020 at 5:47 PM, fleaball said: I’m only making this post so you know I’m not dead. I am glad that this is the case and hope that it remains to be the case for the foreseeable future. Feels gonna feel, it's just what they do. 1 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Sylvaa Posted May 18, 2020 Report Share Posted May 18, 2020 In other news, I also found this and literally this is most of the conversations between Flea and I: 2 7 Quote Sylvaa's BattleLog Sylvaa's Tracking Spreadsheet Link to comment
Severine Posted May 18, 2020 Report Share Posted May 18, 2020 Nothing particular to add, just wanted to send hugs and fist bumps. We're all in your corner and understand if you need space or just aren't feeling it. 1 Quote Fitbit | Current Challenge | Old Challenges: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 Forum avatar is original art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Used with permission! Link to comment
Athaclena Posted May 18, 2020 Report Share Posted May 18, 2020 {{{HUGS}}} Nothing I said was meant in criticism. Just hoping you could apply something I finally figured out. And sweetie I've been there and if there were anything I could do to change your situation I would. I was you in SO many ways. You come here and vent all you want\need. And I'll try to do better to ASK first if you need\want ideas. Quote "Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still." - Chinese Proverb My Recipe Thread 1st dozen-ish Challenges for the curious 12,11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,More attempts, #1 with Intro, Failed attempts Spoiler Quick Bio: IT Consultant, Been in IT 25+ Years, Bounced around and landed as a traveling Consultant for a medium-sized Software Company. I love to cook & read, I travel for a living (although amount varies widely, sometimes I'm home for weeks, others I'm traveling for weeks on end), and trying to move out of Atlanta (plan in place, working to implement). Link to comment
Whisper Posted May 18, 2020 Report Share Posted May 18, 2020 Hi Flea Hope you're doing better today. 1 Quote Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time, and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it. Whisper Game Mode Easy Spoiler Unused for now, Quest Log: Not Silence in the Library but a Whisper in the Academy Link to comment
Countess D'If Posted May 19, 2020 Report Share Posted May 19, 2020 Hello darling! Just chiming in to agree with what has been said above. I'm so proud of you that you noticed how you were feeling and that you said it out loud (well, typed it). Such a huge improvement in your self-awareness since you've been on this board. I also wanted to point out something Severine said - she said "thanks for your gentle reminders." That is something that I love about you. As much as you are violently down on yourself, you are a kind, caring, and gentle friend. Someday, my wish for you is that you can be a kind, caring, and gentle friend to Flea, too. 8 Quote My Blog | To-Read | @i_ate_the_bar | fitbit Link to comment
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