Uh Oh! Game Save Corrupted. Start Again?

[Stonie]

So after logging into NF today for the first time in forever and noticed I’ve been a part of this community since 2013. I am the nerd Previously Known as TheTeagarden AKA RollingStoney... not that I expect anyone to remember me and i certainly don’t expect fanfare of my return. But if there is anyone I was friends with waaaay back... Hi! I’m back. With a vengeance. 

Hi! I’m Stonie. My pronouns are they/them. I am an Australian rebel who has been around for yonks on and off. 
 

Well, this is a hell of a restart. The last 8 months saw the literal death of the entire existence of my old life and left me here in the Void trying to find which direction I’m supposed to go. Even before a Global Pandemic hit and literally sent us all into a tailspin. For those interested, this is what I am trying to bounce back from and why i feel like a single leaf trapped in a tornado:

 

May 2019. Caught my partner of 9 years cheating. [1] Chance remaining.

i am my fittest here at 72kgs.

Sept 2019. Caught partner 9.5 years cheating. Again. [0] Chances remaining. Relationship terminated. 

Oct 2019. Stop cross-training properly since I’m emotionally devastated and am barely surviving.

Oct 2019. Moved back in with parents. After being out of home almost 10 years. 
weight 78kgs.

Nov 2019. Roller Derby season finished for the year.

Took the 6 week break happily NOT REALISING we were about to be hit with a forced break a few months later. Hah. 

Feb 2020. Sold what was supposed to be my family home.

Tried to split leftover funds amicably with Ex, for his family to butt in and try and enforce their views on how things should be split. Cut ties with a family I was close with. 

Mar 2020. Go to Perth for Roller derby game. Get absolutely annihilated. Team is emotionally wrecked. 

Mar 2020. Global fucking pandemic. Gyms closed. Roller derby cancelled. Motivation for exercising with no derby to return to = [0]

weight 80kgs.

Mar 2020. Bought a house of my very own in my own name. The one highlight for my year.

Apr 2020. Move into new home. New life as a strong independent being begins.

May 2020 [currently]. Still [0] motivation for exercise. 
Final Weight 82kgs.

 

Heckers. This is the heaviest I’ve ever weighed and it’s too much. At 167cms tall it’s too much. Despite the literal relationship explosion and global pandemic I’m actually pretty happy? (shoutout to therapy and medication)

 

I am a healthcare worker so I get to be social and can still work and have good friend structures to be able to continue on connecting with my people even though we can’t see each other or train together.

 

But I’ve stopped looking after myself. And I refuse to get any heavier. I have the potential to be a lean healthy fit mfer. And it felt so good when i was. But without roller derby as my forced reason for exercise I have nothing. I’m so, so bad at internally motivating myself but that needs to stop. I need to find a new why for keeping myself fit and healthy. 
 

So that’s why I’m back. Motivation. To find my big WHY. To find something else I can do that I love in the times between roller derby shutting down and picking back up because let’s be honest, full contact sports at a socially appropriate distance are kinda hard to practice. 
 

so until I find my big WHY I’m going back to basics. Once the next May challenge takes off I. Am. There. Intermittent fasting. Body weights. Eat a fucking vegetable. Get a routine going. Right back to level 0 so i can rebuild myself into someone I love and care for. Come say hi. I’ll probably hang around in the rebels corner since I don’t feel particularly attuned to any one specialty yet. And if my past is anything to go by, I probably won’t settle in one either. 

As far as nerdy things go I’m a casual Xbox player, new DnD player, with a massive interest in anything sci fi and fantasy. 

see ya round,

 

Stonie.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I remember. I remember trying to convince you to adopt the roller name Oolong the Destroyer. Welcome back.

[JessOfAllTrades]

Welcome back! I'm glad I'm not the only rebel returning from a long hiatus. And I definitely recognize your old user name. Here's to an awesome respawn, yes? 

[Kuniko]

We are the same height! I also suddenly found myself at 80kgs as well! And lack all motivation for exercise! I should probably not seem as enthusiastic. Sounds like you have been through a rough time, hope you're at a better place now! And all adventures starts with the first step!