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Heyyo frens! Today was a good day but it - went really fast?? Like, it felt like it was about lunchtime and then suddenly the day was over??

 

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EXCEPT I ALREADY WAS HOME HA HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FERRIS

 

... anyway.  :)  Work was meetings all morning, then what should have been the simple task of prepping a story for supervisory review this afternoon, except I somehow found myself having deep conversations about the state of life and the universe with coworkers and friends instead; and suddenly it was 5:30PM and I only had half the story prepped.  😮  I left notes on what to finish in the morning (which is still well within deadline, but still) and signed off for the day with immense guilt and vague self-loathing.

 

I had planned to take a walk this evening because the weather was completely and utterly perfect, but I've been thinking that it's not the safest thing in the world for a very small woman to be seen walking the same route along the same road every single day at the same time, so I stayed home and did some yoga instead:

 

 

I did "Yoga for Transitions" and "Moon Practice," both of which were great stretches and also had some awesome meditations embedded within them, so I finished feeling really good.  :)  Just eating odds and ends for dinner because I want to grab a quick shower and get on with my evening, since it's already 8PM in my part of the world. Mood has been overall really good today and I plan to have a small bowl of ice cream or some Wheat Thins after my shower to keep that going.  ;) 

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10 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Mood has been overall really good today and I plan to have a small bowl of ice cream or some Wheat Thins after my shower to keep that going.  ;) 

 

I wish everyday could be like that. #goals  the music to the yoga was so relaxing~

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Guys, I took a very long walk this evening and it was overwhelming! Nicolas invited me to accompany him on his 3-mile walk down to one of the nearby research centers and back, and on a whim I decided to go; and between the long walk to new places, normal conversation, lots of people with and without masks, cats to pet, birds to hear, a folk band recording a music video along the trail, huge dogs, lightning bugs to catch, and mosquitoes and gnats biting, I got home completely overstimulated and rather freaked out.  :)  But it was also awesome. I had never walked down that way before, and the scenery was just beautiful. Nicolas is extremely talkative, so I spent most of the time listening, but that was okay too. The trail was hilly and I got a good stretch, worked up a sweat and am actually tired tonight.  :) 

 

The rest of the past couple of days has been really boring, hence my music selection for the evening ... I don't remember what I did yesterday, beyond work and watching TV with a friend in the evening. I don't even remember if I went for a walk or not.  :P  Still struggling with motivation at work - I really, really wish I could have a vacation, just a week of resting, reading, doing home projects, turning the computer off, taking walks, writing letters, all those lovely sensory things I talked about a couple of weeks ago. But I just don't feel like I can, mostly because none of my coworkers are taking any vacations and I've already taken partial days off almost once a week for the past three weeks. So I guess instead I need to focus on recharging better in the evenings and on weekends for now, and trying to disconnect from electronics more and do those restorative things. 

 

And on that note, it's already late again, so I'd better get some sleep!  ❤️  I'll check in with peeps tomorrow or this weekend!

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Hey Sky, loved the vlog, your eye make up is so amazing!!!!

 

Thanks for the message at the end, needed to hear that xx

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On 5/31/2020 at 8:46 AM, Salinger said:

Hey Sky, loved the vlog, your eye make up is so amazing!!!!

 

Thanks for the message at the end, needed to hear that xx

 

23 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Hey Sky. I’ve been reading about DC. How are you doing?

 

Thank you for checking on me, Sloth, and I'm sorry to go AWOL! This weekend was extremely busy and I was barely on social media at all - my neighborhood is in a weird little "pocket" tucked back from the big roads that go through this area, so things are totally quiet and normal so far and I am fine.  ❤️  I was actually shocked to log on this morning and see how serious things were, because I was not online much this weekend and I had no idea what was happening. Some of my friends and coworkers are close to the riots but they're all safe so far as well.

 

In my own personal bubble, things have been their own kind of rollercoaster - I found out this weekend that I was chosen to adopt Soji, and she's ready to come home as soon as this week!  😮  So yesterday afternoon I cleaned out the side of the room where I'll put her food dishes and store her food; tonight I quickly ordered her litter box, litter, food, treats, and one more toy as a welcome-home gift; and tomorrow I need to clean out the mountain of cardboard boxes that currently occupies her litter box space.  :D  The way I've been handling recycling without touching too many public surfaces is to have Nicolas stand on the sidewalk below my balcony and watch out for other neighbors as I throw the boxes over the side, then either he takes them to the dumpster, if he's feeling energetic, or if he isn't I come down and take them myself. It's actually kind of fun to throw things off the balcony and they usually end up hitting the bushes and scattering chaotically across the sidewalk, which is also entertaining.  :)  So I have to do that tomorrow - while, of course, leaving a selection of boxes for her to use as beds, play spaces or destruction zones.  ;)  Beyond the logistics, I'm so excited for her to come home and I can't wait to meet her!!

 

On the down side of the rollercoaster, I found out this afternoon that a very important friend/mentor of mine from college passed away unexpectedly over the weekend, and that really shook me up.  :(  She was not only a good friend to me, but to several of my siblings as they went through school as well. When I was paralyzed with indecision about what to do after my awful first year of grad school, one afternoon I was extremely upset and emotional and really in a bad state; and she drove half an hour from her house to campus just to come pick me up and take me to her farm. I sat in her kitchen and talked through everything that afternoon as she fed me freshly picked peaches and goat's milk - and I think she may have been the first person to utter the now-famous phrase, "Honey, you know what you want to do. You're just afraid to admit what you really want."  ❤️  I'm going to miss her terribly, and I hope to be even a fraction of the incredibly strong person she was. 

 

I barely ate or slept this weekend and I'm still recovering from that, so I'm headed for bed as soon as I wrap up these tasks (ordering Soji's things, sending a couple quick messages). Counseling was canceled today and I'm very grateful because she would have yelled at me for still not taking care of myself.  :P  I'm going to get back on track this week.

 

Stay safe, love each other, spread as much beauty and empathy and kindness as much as you can, and I'll write more tomorrow!!  ❤️ 

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15 minutes ago, SkyGirl said:

I found out this weekend that I was chosen to adopt Soji, and she's ready to come home as soon as this week!  😮

 

YES! Kitty kitty kitty kitty. Kitties make everything better.

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6 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I found out this weekend that I was chosen to adopt Soji, and she's ready to come home as soon as this week!  😮  So yesterday afternoon I cleaned out the side of the room where I'll put her food dishes and store her food; tonight I quickly ordered her litter box, litter, food, treats, and one more toy as a welcome-home gift; and tomorrow I need to clean out the mountain of cardboard boxes that currently occupies her litter box space.  :D  The way I've been handling recycling without touching too many public surfaces is to have Nicolas stand on the sidewalk below my balcony and watch out for other neighbors as I throw the boxes over the side, then either he takes them to the dumpster, if he's feeling energetic, or if he isn't I come down and take them myself. It's actually kind of fun to throw things off the balcony and they usually end up hitting the bushes and scattering chaotically across the sidewalk, which is also entertaining.  :)  So I have to do that tomorrow - while, of course, leaving a selection of boxes for her to use as beds, play spaces or destruction zones.  ;)  Beyond the logistics, I'm so excited for her to come home and I can't wait to meet her!!

We can't wait to see her either!!!  This bit of news has me really excited for you and I can't wait to see the antics you guys get up to together :)  

 

As for the boxes, they are by far the plaything of choice for Wraith, so if Soji is anything like her, leaving a few boxes around will be a very good choice :) 

 

 

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Hey guys! I should have mentioned in my last vlog that not only was the weekend busy, but also this week - besides trying haphazardly to prepare for Soji's arrival, I've had a bunch of things happening at work, I got to give a professional development speech to some elementary schoolers today, and I've been spending a LOT of time outside because the weather has been superb. Since Nicolas and I did somewhat-socially-distant walks twice last week and neither of us got sick, we've decided we're officially within each other's quarantine bubble; and while he isn't quite who I would have picked to be my quarantine buddy, it has been a literal breath of fresh air to see another human being outside a screen and have someone to explore the woods and back trails with. Tonight we walked almost 3 miles through the woods and I got huge bug bites and an even bigger allergy headache, but it was worth it to climb over some logs and look at plants and crawl through old stream beds for a couple of hours.

 

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I've been going to bed slightly earlier this week, but I haven't been sleeping well - probably partly because of the heat, but I've been waking bolt upright around 3AM with bad dreams or thinking I've forgotten something. So I'm still oversleeping, starting my days late and then ending them late, which means running out of time to do everything I want to do in the evenings. So, that's frustrating. I want to re-establish my evening Bible journaling habit but I've been putting other things ahead of it and then running out of time. I also have letters and messages to write, gifts to make or buy for people, kitten-proofing to finish, and chores I've left undone. So I think I may skip walks the rest of the week in order to catch up on those things before the weekend. 

 

Today at work we had a really encouraging and convicting dialogue session about ways to support our Black colleagues during a highly traumatic time, as well as concrete actions we can take in our own lives if we're feeling convicted to support anti-racism work. It was convicting because I have been quiet on social media and with my friends on the issue, because of fear - fear of saying the wrong thing or just doing things because everyone else is doing them, yes; but also fear of offending people or being labeled "inflammatory". The discussion encouraged me to let go of that fear - not to leap out onto social media with words blazing and no information, but rather to take time to quietly examine my own life and convictions, and find ways to bring them into better alignment with what I say I believe: That all people are equally precious and worthy in God's eyes and deserving of equal protection and opportunity in this country. I don't yet have anything profound to write on social media, and I do worry it looks like I don't care because I haven't said much, but I've been thinking and praying about what I can do in my life to truly start challenging old beliefs and acting according to newer ones. The first thing I'm doing is going through lists of Black-owned businesses to shop for friends' gifts there, instead of from bigger chain stores. It's a tiny tiny thing, but it's a start.  ❤️ 

 

It's almost midnight and I really want to be in bed by 12:30 or 12:45 tonight because my head hurts and I want more sleep. But I will try to make the rounds and check in on everybody tomorrow - I feel like I've been very absent this week and I miss you all!

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Hey Sky, sounds all good apart from the bites!! Hope you rest well tonight. Its 5.20am here and im starting my day, how funny xx

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It sounds like an emotionally rollercoaster week you had... good and bad! Remember to take time for yourself! Sending good vibes.

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Okay guys, it's confirmed, Soji is coming home Saturday morning, so I may be a little AWOL until next week!!  :D  But rest assured, I will post pictures!!

 

Things are good otherwise - having some goals and projects, Soji and work and picking out goodies for people, has made me feel really good this week. I'm back to planting some hope-seeds and I'm looking forward to seeing what grows from them.  :) 

 

... besides SIX MILLION CAT PICTURES THAT IS!!!

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On 6/5/2020 at 12:42 AM, SkyGirl said:

... besides SIX MILLION CAT PICTURES THAT IS!!!

 

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GUYS OKAY HOW IS IT SUNDAY NIGHT ALREADY WHERE DID THE WEEKEND GO

 

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I THINK I JUST BLINKED AND IT WAS GONE

 

But, for all that, it was good?? Bright and early Saturday morning, Nicolas drove me to pick up Soji, and she's fantastic. She's lively, curious, funny, fearless, settled in immediately and didn't hide or feel shy at all.  ❤️  She still isn't super fond of pets or being touched in general, but when I lie in sphinx pose on the ground, she does enjoy coming to weave in and out of my arms and climb around on my shoulders, so I'll take that.  :) 

 

Haven't quite hit six million pics in the album but we're well on our way:

 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/ey5EiCh8S6AHoRq39 

 

I'm not quite sure how one can get a hilariously spazzy and beautiful new kitten and still wind up having a really low mood all weekend, but I did somehow, because I'm talented like that??  :D  After bringing her home Saturday I stayed in the spare room with her all day, except to receive a couple of much-anticipated packages from friends and take breaks downstairs while she napped. She slept beautifully her first night, by the way - she woke me up a couple of times early in the night, I think to be sure I was still there, but once she realized I wasn't going anywhere, she snuggled into the crook of my knees or arms and slept with me all night.  ❤️  Anyway, yesterday I started writing some letters and messages, played with Soji and watched a little of V for Vendetta, and that was about all ... today I'm really not sure what I did besides wake up for church this morning (it's much easier to wake up on time when you're sleeping on a very uncomfortable pad on the floor, it turns out!), do half an hour of freestyle yoga, play a bajillion rounds of laser chase with Soji, and keep writing letters.  :P 

 

I actually think spending my entire weekend in one room didn't help my mood because it felt like quarantine taken to its most extreme;  but long story short, a combination of many interrelated things hit me like a ton of bricks this evening and I ended up sobbing on the floor for half an hour to my completely unconcerned cat, who looked at me strangely but didn't offer to help.  :P  Thankfully one of my friends reached out to ask if I wanted to watch a movie, and we watched Air Force One, which is so cheesy you can't really be sad while watching it; and that - didn't help, exactly, but did distract, which is the next best thing.  :)  Soji has finally settled down after two hours of chaos, so I'm about to get ready for bed, and hopefully will feel a bit better tomorrow. I think I'm going to try taking her downstairs with me, for at least a little while - though she's so slippery and squirty that I'm afraid I won't be able to catch her again!! 

 

Really really loving these guys lately, enjoy some light weirdness:

 

 

I'll try to check in with everyone tomorrow!!  ❤️ 

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16 hours ago, Quirky Quinn said:

Lovely stuff ( welcoming Soji, not the mood!)

 

Hope you're feeling better in the morning!

 

Thanks QQ! I chatted with one of my most emotionally intelligent friends this afternoon and I think she hit the nail right on the head - she said it sounded like, with all the other things I'm processing lately, Soji's homecoming felt to my subconscious like one more important thing to carry with already very limited emotional resources, rather than a fun and happy new family member, like I thought it was going to. And that, in turn, prompted me to feel alone and exhausted and unsupported, and as all the other things hit me last night, I had my meltdown.  :P  I consider myself fairly emotionally intelligent, but every once in a while I need someone even more wizardly than me to help me sort through the mess. 

 

So understanding that made me feel a little better this evening. I worked a little late to make up for the time I spent acclimating Soji to downstairs this morning (which she did like a champ, of course!!), and as I wrapped up and was leisurely deciding how best to engage in self-care, I saw Soji do something weird - she went over to sniff her food, got very nervous, and darted under the couch to hide. As she is not given to hiding, I went over to see what was wrong - and found a busy trail of at least 6000 ants scurrying between her food dish and a crack in the patio door.

 

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The ensuing franticness did wonders to snap me out of my slightly dissociated haze - I grabbed the infested food dish and hastily dumped the contents into a plastic bag, rinsing the remaining ants down the drain; lured Soji into her carrier with a fresh can of food and carried her quickly upstairs; soaked the crack in the door with enough bug spray to kill a tarantula army; and then, after a moment of panic, seized the vacuum and (rather gleefully) sucked up the trail of ants and as many stragglers as I could find.  :P  I'm still finding one or two but I'm putting in an emergency maintenance request tonight and hopefully they'll come get that crack sealed ASAP.

 

I was eating dinner when Nicolas asked if I wanted to take a hike, but Soji still starts to cry when she can't find me, so I couldn't this time; but I did say he could stop by and chat if he wanted, so we ended up shouting at each other from my balcony / the ground for about an hour and that helped a lot too. I tried to have a video chat with a friend and Soji was insanely hyper through the entire call, so after hanging up I went and lay down on the floor, and she immediately came over, curled up on my stomach and went to sleep.  ❤️  I think she just needed more attention than I gave her tonight.

 

Tonight I'm going to sleep on the couch, so she can sleep with me without being on a different floor from her litter box.  ❤️  Not quite sure how long I'll do that, probably a couple of nights, and then hopefully get to transition back to my bed.  :P  I did take the (ant-filled) trash out this afternoon but I have no idea how long it will be before I feel comfortable leaving her to mail letters or take walks ... all of this is giving me flashbacks to when my brothers were toddlers and I barely felt comfortable going to the bathroom ...  :D 

 

I really meant to check other folks' threads tonight but that may happen tomorrow - hopefully I'll find a little bit of routine soon so things are less haywire!!

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Hey Sky...... the video of the ants made me shudder AHAH

 

Glad you sorted it ok.

 

Yes will take a little time till she is ok being left. You may need one of two night of her crying for you (when you go to your bedroom) but she will be ok. 

 

Im bad, ive always let Jackson roam the house/flat. So he generally sleeps on my bed with me, he can go anywhere. Of course now im in the studio flat, its just one room. 

 

Whatever you do, it will be the way to go and the right decision ❤️ xx

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10 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I consider myself fairly emotionally intelligent, but every once in a while I need someone even more wizardly than me to help me sort through the mess. 

There is a reason doctors aren't supposed to treat themselves, and that therapists don't do their own therapy. Needing help does not mean you are not as emotionally intelligent as you think you are, it means you are human.

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