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3 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

Yeah those things sound awesome. Let's get at least an hour worth of deep work in!! And then we'll go from there!

 

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3 hours ago, Starpuck said:

I only made mention of it as another selling plug to my belief you might be a Ranger.  ;)

 

 

Leave her alone, she's fine where she is! :P 

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11 hours ago, analoggirl said:

I added "Despite the obvious risks of attempting a dance like that with a huuuuuge break from choregraphed dancing, no teacher and no mirror hahaha" to the above message to clarify :D

 

EDIT: I think I will try to learn in counts to 8 (the way I interpret eight counts, that doesnt always coincide with what teachers do haha) and first learn feet, then arms, then together... until I get it or until I get bored... and then from the start after each (almost) mastery of 8 seconds...

 

and THEN I will worry about doing everything with the appropriate tempo flow etc....

 

Thats the project plan and I am curious to find out how it works out! And whether I am not oversimplifying ot complicating...

Please let me know how it goes! I suck at learning choreo and I'm curious how other people learn. I've noticed that dancers who have been training in a class setting for a long time are amazing at picking up complex choreo, but my guess is that they focus on repeating movement patterns/combos rather than having to memorize every single move. When you have to learn what the feet do, then the arms etc it becomes so much more difficult. But I guess that's how you learn. Anyways, I'm curious to see what you discover during the process. :) 

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3 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Yesss.... she's our preciousssssssssss! :)

 

I usually post my threads in the Assassin sub (first few in the Monk but couldn't get myself to stick with any MA I tried and @Whiteghost persuaded me with Wim Hof inspo :D )

 

That being said, I do find it amusing to be likened to a pretty ring that makes people do sinister things :D

 

Thanks for standing up for me, I think Puck and I will figure it out. Maybe the pull back to the Assassin sub will draw HER in instead muahah :)

 

***

 

SO. Time to get busy. Apparently I don't do well these days without relying on my handy dandy challenge thread accountability. Reporting for duty, going to be awesome (and lean into the amazing deeling of Flow) and report back.

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7 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

Maybe the pull back to the Assassin sub will draw HER in instead muahah

Is she a Ranger, pretending to be an assassin?  Or an assassin, that had infiltrated the rangers for so long they assume she is one of theirs?  Is she a Ransassin?   Or an Assager?  UH... SCRATCH THAT LAST ONE!!!

 

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Had dinner, read Seven Habits.

 

(I cannot get myself to watch my food too much. At least I can manage to eat snacks close to my meal times and give my teeth (and stomache) a rest. Maybe I will start tracking again with the Zero app if I am getting 13 hours between the last meal/snack and my first solid bite. But I haven't internalised my goodish eating patterns I had with my old sleeping schedule even though I have put them in my calendar in accordance with the 3/4/5AM - 10/11-11.30 AM sleep schedule.)

 

A couple more excerpts! I am enjoying the book more the more I read it. @Tobbe

 

Most things I already knew and are simply worded differently, but exactly that different phrasing, the anecdotes, and the connections Covey makes... I feel my gears turning. This was the right time to pick this book up.

 

"If the only vision we have of ourselves comes from the social mirror -- from the current social paradigm and from the opinions, perceptions, and paradigms of the people around us -- our view of ourselves is like the reflection in the crazy mirror room at the carnival.
 
“You're never on time.”
“Why can't you ever keep things in order?”
“You must be an artist!”
“You eat like a horse!”
“I can't believe you won!”
“This is so simple. Why can't you understand?”
 
These visions are disjointed and out of proportion. They are often more projections than reflections, projecting the concerns and character weaknesses of people giving the input rather than accurately reflecting what we are."
 
^^^Really Enjoyed this visual!
 

(...)

"While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won't find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.


Look at the word responsibility -- “response-ability” -- the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.


Because we are, by nature, proactive, if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to control us."

 

EDIT: alright. back to business!

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I looked responsibility up and remembered I had actually jotted down the etymology of responsability in one of my old mini notebooks a few years back!!  

 

late 16th century (in the sense ‘answering to, corresponding’): from obsolete French responsible, from Latin respons- ‘answered, offered in return’, from the verb respondere.

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16 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

Because we are, by nature, proactive, if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to control us."

 

But if it is our default state or position, is it really a choice?

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6 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

But if it is our default state or position, is it really a choice?

 

I think Covey excludes response patterns that are the result of trauma/chemical disbalances etc. 

 

He made a comment a few pages ago about why determinism related to childhood events or environments is so popular i.e. because usually "psychotic" patients were the object of those studies determinists base their conclusions on (Covey wrote the book 30 years ago)

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Oh right! I also constantly have to remind myself of the context Covey uses words in.

 

When he speaks of "conditioning" (I think) he means the ... paradigms that we are conditioned to see. The "maps" we have with which we view ourselves, how we think others view us, and how we think others view themselves.

 

Not exactly in the usual sense that we have been conditioned into (re)acting certain ways

 

Tough to explain. I.e. explain my interpretation. I am still getting the hang of his... angles.

 

In any case it's food for thought.

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4 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

I think Covey excludes response patterns that are the result of trauma/chemical disbalances etc. 

 

That makes sense, since he would be more interested with "the norm" and the after-math of traumatic experiences, as well as the effects of mental illness, are not the human brain's natural state.

 

Though I have never liked determinism, since taking it to to its logical conclusion effectively gets rid of personal accountability and I am not okay with that.

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10 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

Though I have never liked determinism, since taking it to to its logical conclusion effectively gets rid of personal accountability and I am not okay with that.

 

Yeah! It's a constant balancing act...  

 

Acknowledging what's "there", what CAN be changed, what will be the price of the (attempts) to change an aspect...

 

Some people don't even have the time. A friend is lucky enough to have some savings so she recently took some time off (by quitting) of working (crazy hours at a lab) to focus on her mental health and see where CBT and some other things can take her.(*)

 

(And focus on her musician and creative side that her parents tried to shame and guilt out of her.)

 

EDIT (*) because a break through session sometimes meant she was OUT for multiple days.

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Hello, back again for my accountability report.

 

It's day 1 of challenge week and as per the previous challenges I don't feel at all like anything has become a habit, and I have this "gut feeling" that I'm going to start procrastinating with my moving goals so much that it will eventually make me go "eh, it's too late, I did this to myself but what can I do"

 

(These past few days I've been putting on my workout clothes later and later...)

 

BUT I'M BREAKING THAT CYCLE! I am capable of being consistent. I am not afraid of committing myself to this habit.

 

EDIT: Yesss! Done.

 

Also,

 I sent the email to my supervisor giving a very vague progress report that "I am writing well considering the circumstances & getting an actual chapter draft is taking longer than expected" & then a sketch of my current situation. And I asked if we could postpone the deadline (like she offered in the initial mail to all of us in her thesis group) because although it's going alright, it's probably wiser to give myself more time.

 

If I'm done with it by the 5th of June - which I would LOVE because that means I will have no obligations when the weather becomes unbearably hot and sweaty rapidly - then great. If not, then I will have correctly given myself cushion time without having to deal with the procedural consequences of being "too late" for your thesis deadline.

 

So yeah, I can cross THAT off the list but STILL I feel like I cheated, because that escalation on Saturday basically shut up my perfectionistic side because well, even SHE cannot deny(*) you cannot bust out a 1500-2000 word chapter in 1,5 day under the pressure of having to deal with those people. (And never mind even the fact that I waited for the supervisor to email US first. But oh well. I'll get better at this.)

 

(*)Not saying a part of me doesn't still blame myself for "not having thicker skin" because there are people in far worse conditions getting into Ivy League schools in the US but w/e. That sort of blaming has (unfortunately?) never ever made me work more or more efficiently, all the perfectionism and the blaming ever does is make me feel like shit. 

 

So I have absolutely no excuse for listening to those sides of myself, or holding on to them. Some people use that perfectionism to get things done, so I can understand them being afraid of letting go of those aspects of themselves, but they serves ME no purposes at all.

 

EDIT: whaaaaat am I doing tomy hands? My right wrist pretty much stopped nagging but now my right hands pinkie Hand bone is being weird. I am going go try to open and close them regularly today. My body is telling me I generally need to stretchit more if I am going go be moving it so much and not QUITTING like I used to.

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10 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Or an Assager?

I saw that pull-up video! I vote for this one ^_^

 

I'm glad to see that you're trying to break the cycle!

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7 hours ago, analoggirl said:

you cannot bust out a 1500-2000 word chapter in 1,5 day under the pressure of having to deal with those people.

Oh yes you can. Just not a good one. :P 

 

7 hours ago, analoggirl said:

BUT I'M BREAKING THAT CYCLE! I am capable of being consistent. I am not afraid of committing myself to this habit.

YES DO IT DO IT!

 

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10 hours ago, analoggirl said:

A couple more excerpts! I am enjoying the book more the more I read it. @Tobbe

 

[...]

 
“You're never on time.”
“Why can't you ever keep things in order?”
“You must be an artist!”
“You eat like a horse!”
“I can't believe you won!”
“This is so simple. Why can't you understand?”

 

Thanks for sharing. I've heard, and internalized, those exact comments, and may other like them, too many times. I have a really hard time not taking it very personally when someone says something like that.

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5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Oh yes you can. Just not a good one. :P 

 

Dang! I was doing that thing again where I try to set the expectations low so you're not disappointed in me easily.

 

And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!!! :D

 

giphy.gif

 

giphy.gif

 

Okay okay Daphney I'll get my -ish together.

 

I think I also need some alarms + auto-snoozing to give me some structure. If not to DO THE THINGS then at least to stretch every hour or two.

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7 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Thanks for sharing. I've heard, and internalized, those exact comments, and may other like them, too many times. I have a really hard time not taking it very personally when someone says something like that.

 

Uh-huh. That's understandable. And it's exactly what happens, you get this combination of different views that you do not seem to... Fit. And if you're someone that has a strong self-critical voice, you'll focus on the negative. And get this fragmented negative view of yourself. Where to begin with deconstructing that? (If you're someone that's initiative and positive, you'll mostly internalise the positive which also isn't ideal. Everyone is left alone at some point in life, without someone to tell them who they are.) (Real quickly written,I'll think about this some more later)

 

You are, however, the ONLY person that has a 100% full view of every deed ever in your life, and can see yourself being/thinking/acting with all the different people you come across in life. And if YOUR view of yourself is distorted, and you don't have your own narrative going on, it also poses a barrier to sort the constructive feedback from the non-constructive... 

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4 hours ago, analoggirl said:

You are, however, the ONLY person that has a 100% full view of every deed ever in your life, and can see yourself being/thinking/acting with all the different people you come across in life. And if YOUR view of yourself is distorted, and you don't have your own narrative going on, it also poses a barrier to sort the constructive feedback from the non-constructive... 

 

It also rewrites any kind of feedback into what our preconceived notions about ourselves expect to hear. So if I have a very negative view of myself, it becomes natural for me to dismiss positive feedback, sometimes without even realizing that I'm doing it, because I know it's wrong and I'm not actually as smart as this person is telling me I am. Since they obviously are wrong, I don't get anything out of listening to them, and so I don't.

 

The human mind is often its own worst enemy.

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15 hours ago, analoggirl said:

(If you're someone that's initiative and positive, you'll mostly internalise the positive which also isn't ideal. Everyone is left alone at some point in life, without someone to tell them who they are.) (Real quickly written,I'll think about this some more later)

 

Hmm, still no idea how to phrase this better. The phrasing I want to use makes it sound like I am talking about a narcissist, or something. My point was that internalising all the different kind of positive phrases, like the one mentioned ("You must be an artist!") can also be detrimental.

 

***

You know what's a looot^2 more fun than starting to work on a NEW chapter for which I have only a vague idea what resources I am going to use? Philosophising about multiple topics at once, chatting with a friend and listening to music!

 

I did write 600+ words during the day round, so that's nice.

 

OH OH and I got my cheer up gifts. The knee protection pads are alright, I just have to get used to moving so they don't shift (the padding is pretty thick). I had a lot of fun trying to "fall" after a twirl in the Hi-Yah video.

 

The pushup bars are good, stable and I can even use them on the toy chest. Just have to figure out whether I want to keep my hands horizontal or vertical. and find out whether that makes a difference with regards to which muscles you are training. Aaand I could kind of "inch worm" with the wheels attached, and that was fun.

 

Pushups, N2R, and flexy training done.

 

The cycle continues though, but is slowing down (I think). I still STARTED working out at 11.30 PM, and was super slow in between all "sets/elements" ... But the point is I did them. Then... I Sat down in front of the laptop, looked at the handy dandy to-dos that I wrote for myself so I'd KNOW what to do. And I didn't. I think I'm being fussy about not having weekends. Even though I know it's only for a few weeks, and my DAYS are mostly free-form.

 

I'm going to close everything now, but read about my thesis topic on my tablet in bed, and hope that sparks more ideas for tomorrow's day AND evening-night sessions...

 

Personal challenge for tomorrow: have dinner before 7PM, get snack(s) ready for later, and immediately put workout clothes on at 830 PM. AND DO ITTTT. Then  short shower, and research and write, write, write.

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I've been taking a few workshops through work later, and the one today reminded me of your thread. :)

 

Today's workshop was on global inclusiveness, and it talked a lot about cognitive bias and implicit bias, and quoted Covey on how our brains are conditioned to perceive things a certain way, and why we need to be aware of that so we can stop it when that goes in the wrong direction.

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15 hours ago, analoggirl said:

Personal challenge for tomorrow: have dinner before 7PM, get snack(s) ready for later, and immediately put workout clothes on at 830 PM. AND DO ITTTT. Then  short shower, and research and write, write, write.

 

Quoting this as a reminder for later. I only wanted to eat at around 4:30 PM today, so I'm not really hungry yet. I might eat something that's more like a meal later. I almost got a knee jerk reaction to eat something an hour after waking up, but I drank A LOT of water instead. I need to learn to trust my body's signals. They aren't that bad, I'm just always afraid of not having enough energy and/or getting grumpy. Like that's the end of the world?  Especially when I have access to food at home. (When I was travelling, I HAD to eat something at 5 AM because I didn't want to take THREE meals along in my bag. And I didn't want to spend money on outside food either.) Now I can just be mindful, and if I get grumpy, I'll simply have some bites to eat and drink water, and there's also coffee. I'm an adult. I can do this, taking care of my vessel.

 

I just realised I could have also used the kettlebells on my yogamat as  pushup bars. But I think I will have a lot of fun with the ones I bought anyway :)

 

In thesis news... My sample size has shrunk from 26 to 24 while I was reviewing the cases found in the literature… (Well, maybe still 25 but the link in the article I had turned out to be the wrong one. So that one will require some googling/searching in legal databases magic. Aka I cannot rely on it)

 

I hope I'll gather more case law  via the rest of the literature + when searching via the data bases with better keywords, now that I have actually written 4000+words on the topic.

 

I didn't have a day time round, because I went to check out a ... what's an autoped but not motorised? Then went to the park to ride it with my sister. We had so much fun (minus a scathed knee, but that's the rule with her and I love her for it. I was such a scaredy cat when I was a kid.)

 

Now... To finish my water melon, have half a cup of coffee and get busy! 

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