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foxinthenorth

Fox and the Jedi

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11 hours ago, Salinger said:

These are mine, i only need them when my eyes start hurting from reading/laptop use....

Cute! Round tortoise shell is 👌

 

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Day whatever yesterday was: 5/27 = I only got one point 😳I was in a bad mood yesterday and doing stuff was hard.

 

Already off to a better start this morning. I got up to meditate while my husband was reading the news. Usually when he does that I just snooze in bed. Gotta make this a habit.

 

It's really hard to run in the evenings, turns out, so I'm gonna ask around and see if any of my runner friends run on a schedule that works for me and I can check in with them and externalize that schedule.

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Successfully nabbed a runner friend to check in with yesterday. I did not stretch. Pro tip: warm up and cool down. 👍When I was running I managed to get to a meta moment of recognizing that my thoughts were very negative and pessimistic. I didn't really do anything about it, but recognizing "hey maybe you're feeling a little depressed today and that's coloring things" helped. Plus the running endorphins and lots of feelings about She-Ra season 5 (I'm a little more than halfway through!). I'm feeling a lot better today.

 

No cold shower for the last two days as I've been having some kind of muscle something in my neck and the cold made it worse. It's feeling better today so I'll try cold water again tomorrow. Also, I've completely neglected the jumping part of this challenge. 😳

 

So that's 4 points for yesterday.

 

GUYS I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT SHE-RA. I spent last night Photoshopping the villain splash from the title sequence into one vertical image. It was a good way to spend my night. I don't know if this is the last season, but it feels like the last season. It's gonna be real hard to one-up these stakes, and the characters are really blossoming.

 

Is it too early to be thinking about the next challenge? Because I'm thinking about the next challenge.

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38 minutes ago, Novaurora said:

Hope you're still loving your hair.  How is your challenge going?

I am still loving my hair! I really love it.

 

The challenge is okay. I haven't done any drawing, and I effectively forgot about jumping, but I'm having good consistency with yoga (helps that my sister is doing it), and chipping away at meditation. I think I'm going to do a meditation challenge next time and increase my time by one minute each week. I'm doing 5 minutes right now. I didn't run today, and now it's about time to play a game online with some friends, so it isn't going to happen. (Plus my ankle and knee hurt from pushing through a significant amount of pain on yesterday's run, so they'll appreciate not charging ahead today.) Instead of getting angry at myself, which I did Wednesday and Thursday, I'm going to swallow my pride, try my best to hold onto some humility, and work on finding running buddies I can check in with each day. I know it's a really common thing to struggle with consistent exercise but lately I've kind of catastrophized it to my entire life and been feeling frustrated. I've cooled off a lot today from earlier this week and I'm trying to remind myself to take a gentle, humble approach. Less exhausting than being angry, I think. 😝

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On 5/29/2020 at 9:12 PM, foxinthenorth said:

I'm having good consistency with yoga (helps that my sister is doing it)

Same thing with my husband.  Morning yoga is life and we enjoy doing it together.

 

On 5/29/2020 at 9:12 PM, foxinthenorth said:

and chipping away at meditation. I think I'm going to do a meditation challenge next time and increase my time by one minute each week.

I wish I was better at meditation.  I do need to work on it.  It's great for anxiety and sleep.

 

On 5/29/2020 at 9:12 PM, foxinthenorth said:

I'm going to swallow my pride, try my best to hold onto some humility, and work on finding running buddies I can check in with each day. I know it's a really common thing to struggle with consistent exercise but lately I've kind of catastrophized it to my entire life and been feeling frustrated.

I get this.  Not having consistent workout friends is hard.  But it's important to be kind to ourselves, especially now, so I'm glad you're embracing that idea.

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22 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I wish I was better at meditation.  I do need to work on it.  It's great for anxiety and sleep.

Today I only made it three minutes before I checked how much time was left on the timer. Sometimes I can go the whole five minutes. It depends on how restless my mind. Today it is pretty bad because I finished watching She-Ra over the weekend and I'm real deep in an obsessive brain hole there, and then we've got all this stuff going on in the world that I can't not think about (unless I get away from it by diving back in She-Ra). Here's hoping eking out five minutes of meditation helps get something done at work today. I decided listening to the She-Ra soundtrack was gonna be a bad idea so I'm listening to Mongolian metal now. :P

 

22 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I get this.  Not having consistent workout friends is hard.  But it's important to be kind to ourselves, especially now, so I'm glad you're embracing that idea.

I guess I had to find the right approach to being kind to myself. I generally feel like being kind to myself doesn't solve any problems and it doesn't get done any of the things I'm trying to accomplish, so it doesn't feel like it's going to do any good. The meditation app I use says to "ever so gently return" and that's been sticking with me. If I think of my brain as a stream of water, it's real hard to make right turns with rushing water. And I spent a lot of time kicking it, trying to get it to make a right turn or flow the other direction. So I'm reminding myself to return to the goal gently, and disengaging that frustration is helping me. When I remember to do it. One step at a time, right?

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Well, guys, I'm pretty much ready to call this day a bust. The only thing I've gotten done so far was a high urgency request my boss asked me for and it took twice as long as it needed to. The world is bleeding and my obsessive brain is split between the blissful escape of She-Ra and the desperate need to start having some serious talks about white privilege with some family members who are increasingly revealing that they don't get it. 

 

I read my bible and drank my mind health and did some yoga. I'm not posting my points every day but I'm still tallying them in a spreadsheet, so I'll have a score by the end. I didn't choose any prizes, though, and I have to admit I don't really have any motivation to now. I didn't sleep much last night (and lest you worry I was lying awake with anxiety over the weight of the world...I was lying awake planning 6 more She-Ra fan art pieces). I'm sure that's contributing.

 

I hope you all are staying safe and standing strong.

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Hey Fox, sounds emotional with the family... something that helps me with vexing family members is remembering to breath lol! 

 

Glad you took time for yourself and yoga! You did the right thing by putting yourself mental health first! And it’s ok not to have prizes if you choose not too. Sometimes just making it through is the prize itself lol!

 

Sending good vibes.

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8 hours ago, //Min said:

Hey Fox, sounds emotional with the family... something that helps me with vexing family members is remembering to breath lol! 

 

Glad you took time for yourself and yoga! You did the right thing by putting yourself mental health first! And it’s ok not to have prizes if you choose not too. Sometimes just making it through is the prize itself lol!

 

Sending good vibes.

Thanks! I had a really good conversation with my sister. Then my husband had a really stressful conversation with his mom, but he did all the talking and he has a gift for being gentle. I was like "AAAAAAAAA" on the inside but I kept my mouth shut and let him do all the talking.

 

I didn't run last night and I can definitely tell I'm more anxious and weird when I don't run. I'm going out at 5pm today. Running = self care.

 

I'm in a weird spot with drawing as self care — on the one hand, I really do enjoy it and find it relaxing. On the other hand, every time I start I get hyper focused on it and get frustrated when my husband interrupts me for things like eating or sleeping, and that seems unhealthy. On the third hand, I really wanna do it and it really helps with the repeating/cyclical thoughts I have when I'm fixated on something, because the fixation is directed toward crafting an image rather than replaying parts of the show or uselessly organizing information about it over and over again. So I think that all shakes out in favor of drawing, but maybe I need to make a cup of sleepy valerian root tea before I start so I get drowsy by the time husband comes around to coax me to sleep. (OR I JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT??? No probably not the answer)

 

As of right now, I'm up to 107 points.

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Haha the creative process can be addicting! Maybe set a timer for yourself and let your hubby know so he won’t disturb? That way it ends on your terms rather than someone breaking your concentration at the critical moment (where you’re most immersed) 

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17 hours ago, //Min said:

Haha the creative process can be addicting! Maybe set a timer for yourself and let your hubby know so he won’t disturb? That way it ends on your terms rather than someone breaking your concentration at the critical moment (where you’re most immersed) 

That's a great idea. If I set a timer then I can stop drawing, make my tea, and do something else in the last 30-60 minutes before bed. Last night I watched a show with him before I started drawing so that we could do something together/something he wanted to do before I got sucked in. 

 

Unrelated: I haven't played Jedi Fallen Order in ages! That was the whole theme of this challenge! I need to pick it up again.

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My current grand total is 117 points! I might be able to hit my third tier of non-prize. 😖That's okay.

 

I played Jedi Fallen Order on Saturday but got to the part where you play the escape from Order 66 and it was too much for my feels so I put it down again...probably going to play more this week, though, as I'm coming out of the peak obsessive stage of the She Ra fixation.

 

I know I already said this but running is increasingly becoming a critical part of self-care. I'm...happy with this, actually. Recognizing how much of a difference it makes in my mood, which affects how I behave, which impacts my husband, and since I want to support him as much as possible since he's under lots of stress too...this realization has sort of served to externalize the motivation for running, and it's a little easier to make myself go out and do it.

 

Short update, that's all for now, gotta run off to another Zoom meeting! Happy Monday my dudes.

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How are we almost to the end of this challenge? 😰Time is a blur. It's losing meaning.

 

I'm up to 123 points as of right now. Did my meditation first thing in the morning twice now. That's not a streak yet...but I can make it a streak.

 

I ran this morning because it's high 90s and single digit humidity for a couple days and I don't wanna run in that! Running in the morning is way harder than running in the evening, and it seems not to have affected my performance at work. So maybe I'll just get used to running in the heat.

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