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Rinna

War on everything.....Rinna's panic attack

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Spoiler

 

 

I wanna be normal, I wanna be sane
I wanna look at you and feel something other than pain
I need shelter, safe haven
I want a quiet place to go and wait out the rain
I want a woman, I want a job
I got an urge coming on to get in trouble again
I wanna wake up, and feel loved
Will you look me in the eyes, tell me I'm not dying?

[Chorus]
I’m losing air, I'm not prepared for this
I'm tired, I’m sick
I'm waging war on everything
I'm wired, I'm licked
I'm addicted to everything
But I'm not prepared for this
Tell me I'm not dying

[Verse 2]
I want a hole, to crawl in
I wanna sleep till I can't feel anything
I want a fix, I want a friend
I wanna cut these nerves from under my skin
I need a woman, I need a job
I got an urge coming on to get in trouble again
I wanna wake up, and feel loved
Will you look me in the eyes, tell me I’m not dying?   (Panic attack by The Glorious Sons)

 

So this song has been my anthem lately.  For whatever reason, my mental state has been.....weird.  Some days I swing emotionally for no reason.  I feel disconnected from my mind/body.  I feel like I'm gonna have a breakdown, or like I don't fit inside my own skin.  It's weird. 

 

So, anywho, I'm here.  I'm still alive.  Fasting isn't currently working for me.  We're doing a lot of heavy (ish) labor, and I need the calories.  I guess I need to stop looking for a quick fix and work to not binge eat jelly beans (or whatever).  

 

Goals:

Exercise of some sort. 

Watch food intake.

Try to not go crazy. 

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I’ve been playing around with an idea.  Since I’m an bored/emotional eater, I am compiling a list of 6 things, where using a random number generator I “pick” a thing and do it for x amount of time/reps.  This is not a punishment for having a snack, or a way to get rewarded with a snack.  It’s to retrain (or train the first time?) my brain and eating habits.  If say, after I do the thing, and I’ve waited, at least 30 minutes and I’m still peckish, have a small snack.  If I’m truly hungry.

 

 Tentative list:  pending me trying out planks & pushups to see if they hurt too much.

1. Do squats for 5 minutes

2. Do a plank until failure, elbow or regular as able

3. Do jumping jacks for 5 minutes

4. Alternate standing on one leg for 5 minutes

5.  10 minute yoga quickie - neck, shoulders, upper back

6.  Maybe pushups?  Have to try one and see if it’s doable with my shoulder......

 

Thanks to @Tanktimus the Encourager and @Elastigirl for idea help.   

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Great plan. Sometimes with me, I've found that when will power is low, just to say wait 5 minutes is good. And then I don't even have to be really hungry, just the fact that I've waited . This tactic seems to sort of calming my snacking beast. 

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Final list of snack deterrent exercises:

 

Tentative list:  pending me trying out planks & pushups to see if they hurt too much.

1. Do squats for 5 minutes

2. Do a plank until failure (elbow it is, full doesn’t feel right on my shoulder at this time)

3. Do jumping jacks for 5 minutes

4. Alternate standing on one leg for 5 minutes

5.  10 minute yoga quickie - neck, shoulders, upper back

6.  Step ups for 5 minutes (thanks to @aramis for the idea). (Pushups ars a def no-no right now)

 

This week (0)

Sunday - digging, pick-axing, turning dirt & pulling weeds for a long while, getting the in ground garden ready.  
Wed - Zombie run.....1 h 4 m, 4.33 miles, 2 zombie packs evaded.  It was fun, but damn I hurt now ☹️
Fri - Walk (hilly neighborhood).....54:39 m, 3.22 miles,  with hubby.

 

Not bad for zero week.  Engaging Snack Protocol tomorrow.   

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Week 1:

3 walks @ 3.2 miles.  
Food ~ dunno.  Better, not as much snacking.  Grazed one day, but healthy foods as we bought fresh grapes, cherries, & constellation tomatoes.  1 night when I sorta said screw it and had a snack that I shouldn’t have.

Mental ~ up & down.  Mostly better this week, tho.

 

Week 2 thus far:

2 walks @ 3.2 miles

Food ~ quite a bit better so far.  Except Sunday which involved cookies.  I didn’t go crazy, but we went to see some friends, so it was a don’t count day.  Yesterday I managed lunch, dinner, and 8-10 cherries as a snack.  Haven’t been bored/emotional eating so far.  Should have done my anti snack dealio for the one last week, but forgot.  Oops.  
 

Oh well.  Not much else to report.  

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Well, his challenge wasn’t a total bust.  We managed to exercise at least 3 days a week, last we we got 5 days plus 2 extra for me since I mowed 2 times for an hour +.  
Haven’t lost weight, but I haven’t gained, so that’s a plus.

Been somewhat better mentally.  
Eating was so-so.  Didn’t implement The Plan, due to channeling my inner Honeybadger.  Most days were good, calorie wise, with a few “whatever’s” thrown in.

So while I may not have won the day, I sure as s@#* didn’t lose it either.

Now to figure out what the heck.

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