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Stonie

Chapter I: Redeaux [Stonie] [May 2020]

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Look, I did an intro and respawn so I’m not rehashing all that all over again. I’m also running a daily battle log to track my progress but ill try remember to post here as well! 

 

Apologies, I’m a little tired so all this is pretty short.  But whatever. 

 

MAY 2020

My Goals this Month are basically to rebuild from the beginning. I’ve been fitnessing on and off for 7 years and before my life broke down and COVID broke the world I was pretty fit. Now i am not. But i deserve to be cared for by myself. I just need to start new habits in my new home and new normal and i need to dedicate time and mental energy to it. 

 

1. STICK TO A ROUTINE.

5/7 days a week

obvious. This is to help me stay productive, do basic self care, and get enough sleep despite shift-work fucking with me. The times are approximate, i just need to know about how long this will take me so i can schedule it into my day.

 

Morning:

30 minutes of just drinking coffee in the quiet time. 

30 minutes of body movements. 

2 minute Cold-shower of Ultimate Discipline. 

10 minutes of dressing, and self care (skin teeth, etc)

30 minutes of second coffee that is the reward to myself for having a cold shower

Onwards: Go to work. Do something productive if you aren’t working today. 

 

Evening:

10 minutes. Wash, dry and put away the dishes. 

30 minutes of journal for the day (includes planning tomorrow)

10 minutes of your self care routine (skin, meds, teeth)

bedtime @ 9hours before you have to get up. 

 

2. EAT A VEGETABLE. STOP EATING CONSTANTLY. 

I’ve started an anti-anxiety med that helps me sleep and stops me feeling anxious all the damn time but one side effect is increased weight gain. Potentially because it seems to have shut off MY DAMN HUNGER CUES. So I just eat constantly. I don’t need to do that. 

 

A. MEAL PREP

1X Weekly

So I have food on hand and stops me buying junk from the work cafe or the store. And so I don’t have to think about food.

 

B. INTERMITTENT FASTING

5/7 days a week

This is mostly so I stop constantly feeding my face with anything i walk past. And also so I stop snacking late at night and drinking a few to many alcoholic bevvys. 

 

3. MOVE YOUR BODY

3x Weekly

Again. Hella Basic. I am a roller derby player that was cross-training and skating for 10 hours a week and now i do nothing. Nada. Zilch. So i need to worko n rectifying that. It’s been probably 2 months since ive worked out properly so I’m just going to start from the start. My team and I are doing the Push Up Challenge anyway so most of my planned workout will be around that. 

 

4. LOOK AFTER YOUR DAMN SELF

Daily

At the behest of my ClinPsych I am to schedule something small for myself every day. Something that just, brings me joy.  One of the pop quizzes she had me do was suggestive of some low mood on my part (not surprising) so I’m going to do what she says. The government isn’t paying her for me to ignore her suggestions. This is going to be things like “play that video game you keep meaning to play” “read a book by the fireplace” etc. 

 

thats it for now. Ill probably update at least weekly with how I’m going. Feel free to drop in and say hi, I’d love to keep accountable with others on similar plans this month or other aussies. Or whatever. Surprise me. 

 

Stonie

 

 

 

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WEEK 0 WRAP UP

Mostly good, a little wobbly.

 

My intention with buckling down on my focus for my routines was to cope with the swing in my work rosters, since I can go from a 6:30am start to a 2:30pm start in one week and it fucks. me. up. Especially when I'm trying to build habits and all of the literature around that seems to be "schedule things at the same time every day! :DDD" like no. I can't do that. Soz. 

 

The next best thing I can think of is to schedule things around parts of my day regardless of what time my "day" begins and ends. 


Morning routine: 5/7

Yewww. That’s what I was aiming for. The few times this fell down were generally because my evening routine from the night before fell down and I hadn't slept enough or been prepared enough for the next day. e.g. last night. when i didn't do my evening routine and was late to bed so then didn't want to get up at 4:30am? Can't imagine why.

 

With my work roster swinging like it does I have to plan to get up somewhere between 4:30am - 8:30am, depending on the shift I'm doing. That's a 4 hour difference in my wake up time and I bet you can guess which one is easier for me to want to do?

 

Evening Routine: 2/7

Big Oof. This needs to be a focus this week. How was I worse at this than having a literal cold shower?!

Enforcing bedtime on myself is so hard? Even though I can literally see how it messes up the next day I still wing this a bit. I need to make getting into bed more enticing somehow so I don't just blow it off. I also need to remember to take my damn meds so that I actually sleep well instead of tossing and turning.

 

Intermittent fasting: 7/7

Nice. Can't tell yet if it's going to make a difference since it's been only 1 week but i'll have to stick to it for the month to see if it actually changes anything. 

 

Workouts: 5/3 days this week.

M, T, Th, S, Sun

Next week I start the Pushup challenge so at the bare minimum i'll be doing 20 (incline)Push-ups every day. But I will throw in some other stuff too. 

 

Self Care: 6/6 days this week. 

only counted 6 days since i started this on Tuesday. Has it helped my "low mood?" probably not yet. Am I going to keep trying? Yes. Am I running out of ideas to indulge myself in small ways without costing me money? Also yes.

 

 

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WEEK 1 WRAP UP

Getting better..

 


Morning routine: 5/7 (same as last week)

Excellent. If I get a decent nights sleep this isn't too taxing on my brain to do at any time of the day and I don't really dread it which is good. Knowing all i have to do is put on pyjamas and make coffee when I get up first is helping i think? Once I'm up and halfway through a coffee I generally feel like I can handle the next few steps. I just need to work on sticking to it even when my brain is yelling NOPE at me. 

 

It's hard to quantify how much of a difference the cold showers are making. my skin and hair feel nicer, but I've also been doing my skincare routine more lately which is probably also helping. I want to think it's helping me wake up in the mornings but i also have a few coffees in the morning so I'm not sure which is doing more to help that. I am almost starting to enjoy them though? Especially once I stopped making them 100% fucking freezing. 

 

Evening Routine: 6/7 (better)

Much better than last week. Getting my shit together in the evening 100% translates to the next morning's success. I also really like waking up to a clean kitchen with the dishes done and stuff. I need to work on taking my eds at the right time though otherwise i'm still drowsy in the morning and it takes me longer to get going.

 

I feel like these last few weeks have been suuper long. maybe because I've been more productive than usual and not just wasting away my time scrolling through the endless internet? or maybe because I'm making better use of my waking hours with my routines.

 

Intermittent fasting: 7/7 (same)

Noice. I definitely need to cut back on the snacky things i eat. i dont know that i will stick to IF once this challenge is over but i need to work out a way to eat better without really thinking about it.

 

Workouts: 5/3 (Same)

I'm definitely feeling better about my body now I've started exercising again. I hate the way my body exists much less when I do the barest minimum of exercise. I might sit down this arvo and just write down the most basic of bodyweight exercises I can do in sets so that I don't have to think about what to do at 5am when I'm incapable of congruent thought. 

 

The push ups are getting ever so slightly easier too. Maybe ill even be able to do a whole full push-up by the end of the month!

 

Self Care: 6/(Same)

this is actually hard to remember to do XD and I run out of ideas since im trying to do more than the same thing every day and calling it "self-care" I’m also trying to do something that’s not already in my routine so I can’t cheat and be like “oh yeah I did some self care...”  like trying to cheat myself out of caring for myself is just dumb?

 

hard to improve on last week except for my evening routine which I did, but I need to keep doing it consistently so that’s good. Still room for improvement. 
 

just 4 more days of work to go and I have three whole days off. Glorious. 

 

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WEEK 2 WRAP UP

bit scattered but their heart is in it..


Morning routine: 4.5/7 (oof so close)

 

A couple of things threw me off at the start of the week but I did okay. I struggled with being at work 6 days in a row and the next few weeks don’t get any better until my booked time off in June.
 

i started using my first 30 minutes of waking time to do some writing and that’s been super good! Even if I write literally 3 words I’ve achieved something. Otherwise I drink my beverage and scroll facebook or Pinterest or something less useful. I also get to play around in my own imagination for a while before I have to face the real world. That’s fun. Today I threw down some glyphs for the skeleton of an alien language I’ve been tying to not have to create.

 

i am still weirdly enjoying the cold(ish) showers but it is still a little hard to motivate myself to do them when it’s already cold outside. That’s not going to get better though so I’m going to have to work around that. 

 

Evening Routine: 4/7 (eh)

My routine went a bit wobbly when I finally got some time off. Oops. I’ll have to make it a focus again until I get it right. It is a good routine that works for me I just need to... remember to do it. 

 

This week definitely felt like it went forever. I spend too much time at work. 

 

Intermittent fasting: 2/7 (irrelevant)

The only difference I’ve seen with this is I’m tired and hangry by 10 am and can’t wait any longer and just want to eat all the things. I don’t think this is helping me eat better? I’m going to try something different for the next two weeks. Something along the lines of “make this one thing and eat it for a few days” “stop eating sugary junk food at work” things like that. 

 

Workouts: 3/3 (perfect-o)

Considering my week I’m v glad i got this done, I can definitely fit in 15 minutes of flailing about most days (if not every day)

 

 Definitely did all my pushups again this week and I can definitely feel them getting ever so slightly easier still. Even my jumping jacks aren’t causing as grief as they were when I started back up. I’m going to attempt to work 3 different exercises in every time I do a workout but no loss if it doesn’t get done. As long as I do something for now that’s, well, something. 

 

Self Care: 7/7 (noice)

Yass. my Therapist was so proud of me. I just need to do more things that Don’t involve spending money. Might try make a list tomorrow. 

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I wanted to be a bit reflective last night but I had to get some sleep to be up at 4:30am without hating everything. but now I have some time so I'll do that.

 

Intermittent fasting: scrapped

This hasn't been feeling great or useful to me. I've definitely not lost any weight (not that I was really trying to but it would have been nice for it to be that easy for once)

I think i have a few reasons why.

 

1. My Main Weakness is sweet foods. Any kind. Lollies. Biscuits. Chocolate. Cake. Especially chocolate cake. 

2. I am constantly surrounded by sweet snack foods at work. Apparently every department at work runs entirely off caffeine and sugar. 

3. I am an opportunist when it comes to food and love freebies. "Well I might as well have a bit since it's free and not going to be here later"

4. If I'm hungry I find it harder to knock back opportunities to eat the foods.

5. I have 0 "stop eating" cues to rely on. But at least I can sleep!

 

And I think most of these are being exacerbated by not eating until lunch time. I have an 8 hour window to eat so I take the chance to eat whatever I can while I can. especially if that 8 hour window is when I'm at work. and especially if someone brings something in that looks tasty. 

 

Self-Care Things that Don’t involve Spending Money: a list

playing video games I already own

light the fireplace

do some art

self care things: hair mask, face mask, nails, moisturise your entire body etc.

stretch out a sore part of my body (or foam roller it)

brush the pets

walk the dog

 

 

im coming back to work on this but if i hit post i wont lose it all

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19 minutes ago, Stonie said:

1. My Main Weakness is sweet foods. Any kind. Lollies. Biscuits. Chocolate. Cake. Especially chocolate cake. 

2. I am constantly surrounded by sweet snack foods at work. Apparently every department at work runs entirely off caffeine and sugar. 

3. I am an opportunist when it comes to food and love freebies. "Well I might as well have a bit since it's free and not going to be here later"

4. If I'm hungry I find it harder to knock back opportunities to eat the foods.

5. I have 0 "stop eating" cues to rely on. But at least I can sleep!

 

I don't know whether or not Intuitive Eating might be for you, but I do know the book about it specifically addresses things related to your points 3-5.

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7 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I don't know whether or not Intuitive Eating might be for you, but I do know the book about it specifically addresses things related to your points 3-5.

 

I have heard of Intuitive Eating before but didn't know there was a book! I might have a read of it. I've just found the 10 principles of intuitive eating and they sound like something I can work on. Thanks fort the suggestion Tank!

 

I'm thinking (and more so now I've had a quick glance at that and flicked through some of the articles) that for now I might replace my goal of Intermittent fasting with Eating Mindfully. if I'm going to eat a thing then I have to only eat it. do nothing else. just eat it. stare at it. pay attention as i eat it. chew my goddamn food. Don't pick up my phone. just eat. if i don't have time to eat it mindfully... Don't eat it. Enjoy it. and if I don't... then probably stop eating it?

 

This is something I was toying with for next challenge but hadn’t quite fleshed out yet. So I might just implement it now  aaand see how that goes? 

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On 5/24/2020 at 11:50 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

don't know whether or not Intuitive Eating might be for you, but I do know the book about it specifically addresses things related to your points 3-5.

Yes!!! I'm totally in the intuitive eating camp! I was also an opportunity eater and once I started asking myself what my body was actually looking for I reduced my meat intake as well as my sweets intake drastically. My body didn't want them as much as my mind thought it did.

 

Also, something my nutritionist suggested to me was to eat every 3-4 hours (the opposite of IF) until I got a better grasp on my hunger and fullness cues.

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On 5/24/2020 at 11:30 PM, Stonie said:

3. I am an opportunist when it comes to food and love freebies. "Well I might as well have a bit since it's free and not going to be here later"

This resonates with me. When there's donuts or free food at work... you betcha I am having my share.  

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8 hours ago, Latrop said:

Yes!!! I'm totally in the intuitive eating camp! I was also an opportunity eater and once I started asking myself what my body was actually looking for I reduced my meat intake as well as my sweets intake drastically. My body didn't want them as much as my mind thought it did.

 

Also, something my nutritionist suggested to me was to eat every 3-4 hours (the opposite of IF) until I got a better grasp on my hunger and fullness cues.


*sets up tent in camp Intuitive Eating*
 

yeah I’ve definitely been trying to eat every few hours as opposed to IF-ing it and that has done something (I think?) for my need to stuff my face with anything I see. I think the hunger from the fasting state was something I definitely couldn’t handle.

 

I’m still going probably too hard on sweet things just because, well, tasty. And sugar. And prepackaged. Once I eat through the bag of marshmallows in my house I will be better off too since I don’t often buy sugary things. I just had one specific craving for s’mores once. 
 

8 hours ago, Rookie said:

This resonates with me. When there's donuts or free food at work... you betcha I am having my share.  


right? I just need to adjust back to to having like, one doughnut instead of a whole box 😂 

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11 hours ago, Latrop said:

 

 

Also, something my nutritionist suggested to me was to eat every 3-4 hours (the opposite of IF) until I got a better grasp on my hunger and fullness cues.

That's actually ok in IF when you are starting out, they talk about that very technique in the book.

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WEEK 3 WRAP UP

 

Morning routine: 5.5/7 ()

half done days are better than nothing. days I manage to get up and eat breakfast before work are okay. better than nothing. 

 

I feel like i'm trying to hammer a square peg in a round hole with this. it's working, but barely. I've even been lucky this challenge to have a somewhat consistent work roster and still, half way through my work roster I am drained. 

 

 I know that my evening routine going well does help me get a better nights sleep, but when I'm tired from getting up early i lose the will to do anything once i get home from work, so i don't do my evening routine, so I don't sleep well, so I'm tired all day, so i... you get it. 

 

*Evening Routine: 3/7 (eh)

im thinking part of the problem with this is that i have no set trigger to start doing the things i want to do to wind down from the day. SO, I’m changing this to be a routine for when I get home from work instead of "at some point in the evening before bed time" because otherwise theres no trigger to get me to do them. i also just really, really hate doing the dishes xD

 

New and Improved Post-Work Routine

- do the dishes. 

- get changed into cozy AF pyjamas

- do some skin and teeth care

(my toothpaste doesn’t taste like tooth paste so I can pull this off and still eat dinner without a weird minty tinge)

 

so we’ll see how that goes. 

 

Eating Mindfully: 6.5/7 ()

this is an interesting experiment and i'm enjoying it more than intermittent fasting. I'm starting to be more aware of when my body says "enough food!" and I -think- im starting to work out what my hunger cues are? im evaluating food as i eat it too to decide if its really worth over eating or if its okay to stop eating it and put/ throw it away when im done. 

 

Meal Prep: 1/1 (yess)

I roasted a heap vegetables. a bag of apples (gone in like, 3 days) and attempted to make bread rolls. 

I have forgotten to score this for the last few weeks but I have definitely done it. 

 

Workouts: 3/3 (perfect-o)

in struggle town with this this week but i bought a kettlebell so ill be able to do even better workouts now. the next few weeks give me some blissful days off so i will be able to focus mroe on myself than just getting ready to dragass through work until i crash. 

 

Self Care: 7/7 (noice)

this is good and i can feel it helping my mood (when im not dog tired) 

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WEEK 4 WRAP UP
 

Morning routine: 4/7 

 Since I’m off work for half of the Week just gone and all of next week I have definitely been more non compliant... but my evening routine has also been cactus and I know from experience that that doesn’t help. I do have my timer light set to go off at the same time every morning so that I work on getting up at the same time every day even though I’m not going to work... I have a list of things I would like to get done and I need to not sleep the days away. I just need to remember to get up and not sleep in just because I can...

 

Evening Routine: 2/7 

Again, I had to change what I used to trigger this process since I am off work on break but I think this will work better since it applies all the time if I am home, Regardless of whether I worked that day or not... which is the goal with these routines, do the thing no matter what the rest of your life is doing. I’ve really spelt out the trigger: habit: reward loop here so I should know why I’ve decided to do things like this.

 

New and Improved Post-dinner Routine

When I finish dinner and out my dishes in the sink I WILL:

(1) do the dishes. reward: get into your cozy af pyjamas.

(2) get changed into cozy AF pyjamas

(3) brush your teeth. Reward: your teeth don’t fall out. Also, smooth bby skin care.

(4) do your skin care routine. Reward: thats it for the day. You are responsible for nothing else tonight. Read a damn book or something.

 

so we’ll see how that goes THIS WEEK. Also, if anyone has suggestions for “rewards” that I can use on myself to manipulate myself into doing the things consistently let me know. Something that doesn’t involve food or spending money would be super. 😂

 

Eating Mindfully: 5/7 

I’m finding eating without distractions easier and I think I’m also less attached to my phone in other areas of life too? I will probably buy and read the Intuitive Eating book in between challenges So I can make a plan for the next one. 
 

Meal Prep: 1/1 (yess)

 Done. I made a delicious vegan pulled pork that I will be eating for the rest of my goddamn life. It’s so filling and I made so much. I’m not mad about that. 

 

Workouts: 5/(perfect-o)

So I was super active this week even though they weren’t all actual planned workouts so I’m gonna praise myself for that. I did do a workout, also walked the dog twice (that’s twice more than any other week) did some intense playground fun with a friend, and marched in a protest. Turns out being chained to a desk is not what I want to do when given free will so that’s nice to know. 
 

Self Care: 7/7 (noice)

My therapist reiterated that this is a thing I need to be doing when I mentioned I had time off from work for 11 days (she knows my workplace and it’s values and what it’s like so when I rant about my work sucking she knows I’m not blowing things out of proportion) since I’m away from work I’m definitely much happier 😂 but I’m hoping that it carries over to when I return to work long enough for me to implement some more things into my life that make grinding for money slightly less painful. 
 

For this final week I’m going to attempt to hella emphasise my morning and evening routines. If I do nothing else all day but do those I win that day. Or whatever. If all I do is stretch instead of doing a whole ass workout every day: perfect. Getting my routines sorted is the literal fucking foundation to the rest of my life going well so I will be working on these for a while I think. New habits take forever to stick in my brain. I can only keep trying. 

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WEEK 5 WRAP UP
 

Morning routine: 1.5/7 

Yeah I’m not surprised this fell apart while I wasn’t at work. It is much less necessary while I’m not working though so I’m not too upset. I will however be revisiting this for the next challenge since I’m back at work and I would like some sort of routine that helps me instead of hinders me.

 

Evening Routine: 1/7 

this definitely stops my morning from going smoothly ( again, not that that’s a problem when I’m not working) but I will also be revisiting this one next challenge. Getting a good nights sleep is one of the main things I need to do to have a good day every day.

 

Eating Mindfully: 7/7 

This week as real good. I didn’t gorge myself on endless sweet foods ( my ultimate nemesis) and listened to my body when it said it was hungry and full. eating without distraction is still hard but it’s making a huge difference so this will also be in next challengeS list of goals. I have in fact got the intuitive eating book now so while I’m still reading that I’m definitely still working on that. 
 

Meal Prep:1/1

I prepped stuff to make crunchwraps or burritos at a moments notice. So good. 
 

Workouts: 4/
so I did no real workouts but I was surprisingly mobile while off work so again, props to me for doing that, turns out I have exactly 0 interest in doing any exercise if I’m not prompted by something else ( going to training, friends etc) I am however much more active in my general daily life when I’m not chained to a desk at work so that’s good to know. I’ll probably chuck this goal out for next challenge to focus on other things, but I’ll be going back to derby training next week too so I will be forced to exercise a little bit. 
 

Self Care: 7/7 

this is super easy to do when you are at home all day every day. I’m definitely much, much happier when I can live my own life free of the shackles of work ... but for now I need it to pay off my mortgage so I can’t just abandon my job. As much as it hurts my soul to be there some days. 
 

I’ll do a final tally up of the challenge in a hot minute. 

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FINAL CHALLENGE WRAP UP

So overall i feel positive about this challenge. For the days I had to work I found having routines in the morning and afternoon really super useful, and when I wasn’t at work I found i didn’t need them as much.

 

I also decided intermittent fasting wasn’t for me and @Tanktimus the Encourager wonderfully suggested Intuitive Eating Instead and turns out, that is exactly what I was looking for, even comes with it’s own instructions for how to re-learn how to eat according to what your body wants. Amazing.

 

It also turns out that I have zero interest in any exercise when no one is telling me to do it so that was interesting. I do go back to derby training next week so I’ll be glad of that, and my gym is back open so I’m wondering if maybe I go there again once a week too? I’ll have I think about that.

 

And, unsurprisingly, doing a little bit of self care every actually does make you a little happier. Who’d have thought? I won’t do this as a challenge again but I’ll definitely keep trying to do it Since my therapist literally said I need to.

 

Onto the Scoring! 

 

1. STICK TO A ROUTINE.


A. Morning 25.5 /30

I’ve counted my zero week scores as well cos fuck it, why not. 
this fell down when I stopped working for a week and a half since I had nothing pressing to go to or do except for the things I wanted to get done around the house. I do enjoy a good cold shower after a workout so that’s a thing I learnt. Will I be continuing to do them every day? No. Definitely not over winter that’s for sure. But I learnt that so that’s good. I also learnt that no amount of preparation can make getting up at 4:30am easy for my night owl chronotype. I actually started hating my early shifts more when I got up too early so that didn’t really work how I planned but again! I learnt something about myself. 
 

B. Evening 18/30

This I’m definitely going to work on again! It quickly became apparent that the next day didn’t go as smoothly if my evening routine was messed up. Especially if I didn’t get enough sleep. I also just hate the dishes and brushing my teeth. 

 

2. EAT A VEGETABLE. STOP EATING CONSTANTLY. 

 

A. Meal Prep 6/6

This was easy and I won’t need to track it again next challenge, since it’s my preferred method of feeding myself now that I’m living on my own and ca do whatever I want. 

 

B. Intermittent Fasting  Eating Mindfully 34.5 /42

As I said above I replaced Intermittent Fasting for Eating Mindfully - focussing on what I eat instead of mindlessly throwing food into my face And expecting it to do something (I.e. intuitive eating is a thing apparently) part way through the challenge and I’ve made some good progress getting back in tune with how my body wants to eat and paying attention to when I’m full, instead of eating until I’m uncomfortable. I will be revisiting this next challenge since I’m only partway through the book anyway and paying attention to the food I put in my body is not a habit yet.

 

3. MOVE YOUR BODY 25/21

Nice! For the past few weeks I did less actual workouts and more moving my body while living my life but I’m going to pat myself on the back for that since I used to think I was just a lazy little shit. I think I’ll attempt once a week at the gym for next challenge since they are back open now and I go back to derby training next week too so that’s fun. 
 

4. LOOK AFTER YOUR DAMN SELF

40/42

turns out this probably actually helps my mood somewhat! Amazing, who’d have thought. I won’t be doing this as a quest next challenge but obviously I’ll be continuing to care for myself. These challenges are  a part of that too. 
 

Looking at those numbers I’d say this challenge was a heckin success. I definitely learnt some things about how I like to function so hopefully next challenge I can get the basics dialled in and then... do something... amazing from there? 

giphy.gif

 

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