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Mad Hatter

[Mad Hatter] Respawn #436-#438

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23 minutes ago, starsapart said:

I'll have to give it a try if I can find a copy without purchasing! Maybe when libraries reopen?

 

 

My library has been lending ebooks this entire time. Is that an option?

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Just now, Scalyfreak said:

 

My library has been lending ebooks this entire time. Is that an option?

 

I wish. My city's library seems to be the only one on the planet not using Libby or something comparable, so we're without library access for now.

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Just now, starsapart said:

I wish. My city's library seems to be the only one on the planet not using Libby or something comparable, so we're without library access for now.

I think the whole thing is online! But I feel you, Helsinki Library does use Libby, but the selection is garbage.

 

However now that the libraries are opening up again, I should probably tackle the huge stack of books I've been avoiding!

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8 minutes ago, starsapart said:

 

I wish. My city's library seems to be the only one on the planet not using Libby or something comparable, so we're without library access for now.

 

GAH! That is terrible! 😨

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8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 

I've been experimenting with setting up reminders on my phone that auto snooze until I do them or I ignore them. It was extremely useful for a few days when I payed attention, then I ignored them, now I want to pay attention again. I don't know what my ideal schedule will end up being, so to start with I set something up like

 

7:30 go outside

8:00 coffee and art studies

12:00 lunch/movement break (this will almost certainly need tweaking)

15:00 tea time (to make sure I take a work break and eat a snack)

16:00 train (this will likely end up later because of work, but I want to give myself enough time to snooze just in case. 😛)

19:00 personal art

 

 

This looks like a great plan. I set a timer myself, for the art lessons, and mostly ended up doing them earlier. Maybe a more comprehensive set of timers would nudge me to do more things, too. Anyway, let us know if it works. 

 

Since you liked the illustrator, here's a different one who they mentioned at the society for visual storytelling. It's not my style (too light and child-like), but there are a few pictures I like. Cory Godbey:

Spoiler

cf6c9392478e5230-thp_drawing023.jpgimage.thumb.png.337aaff7cd716e851d7dc5689bb93ccc.png

 

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9 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I ADORE On a s sunbeam! Everyone that needs a hefty dose of good feels should read it. I'm 99.9% certain I got the recommendation from you, and since then I have also been recommending it to people. @starsapart if you haven't already read it I think you'd also love it. And @KB Girl

 

Ahhh, so glad you are spreading the word as well. :D

8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I was scrolling down Tillie Walden's IG and this little quote hit home today.

My motivation is looow right now, but it's not because I feel particularly down but because I've fallen into this loop of inaction. 

This one is so good.

 

Quote

I've been experimenting with setting up reminders on my phone that auto snooze until I do them or I ignore them. It was extremely useful for a few days when I payed attention, then I ignored them, now I want to pay attention again. I don't know what my ideal schedule will end up being, so to start with I set something up like

I live on an elaborate system of alarms and reminders, so I wholly support this.

Quote

 It's ok to not do the things, or do them later or earlier, and the things can be 5 minutes long. But I should try. If I don't, I'll make a note of why I didn't to see if I can spot patterns and tweak my schedule as needed.

👍

Quote

Goal 2: Plan my day (inspired by @KB Girl)

[...]

Everything about these is optional, they're only there so I don't spend half an hour dawdling with my decisions, and ending up eating toast for dinner.

Ahh, so smart. 

 

46 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

My library has been lending ebooks this entire time. Is that an option?

45 minutes ago, starsapart said:

I wish. My city's library seems to be the only one on the planet not using Libby or something comparable, so we're without library access for now.

Awww, man, what a bummer. Ebooks are the thing I love the most about my libraries of late. 

 

I will say this particular book really lends itself to being read in physical form or maaaybe on a very large tablet... or perhaps on a computer: https://www.onasunbeam.com/ because this is the web version, which is a slightly rougher version of the final product. 😛

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Looks like a good plan. The space for art studies and personal art sounds specially nice.

Me too, I enjoyed the quote about action. Inspiring.

 

17 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I should probably tackle the huge stack of books I've been avoiding!

Tell me about that :D

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17 hours ago, raptron said:

live on an elaborate system of alarms and reminders, so I wholly support this.

 

Weird question, but what alarm tones do you use? I used to do this for a long time but it drove those around me - and eventually myself - nuts :D

 

 

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6 hours ago, analoggirl said:

 

Weird question, but what alarm tones do you use? I used to do this for a long time but it drove those around me - and eventually myself - nuts :D

Just like the usual quiet bell chime one, haha. I write down what it is for in the title of the alarm. It just needs to be something that gets my attention.

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45 minutes ago, raptron said:

Just like the usual quiet bell chime one, haha.

 

Alright!  Merci.  I always think that will be too easy to ignore but I don't think I've ever given it a serious try. For (social) science! (Though I often listen to music / have ear plugs in while doing focused work.)

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On 5/12/2020 at 9:07 AM, Mad Hatter said:

What I want to eat. I'm not used to bulk buying food and find myself constantly forgetting that I have a bunch of stuff that needs eating.

 

This is literally how I plan most my meals. What's in the fridge that needs eating *now* or it will spoil? Ohh, this and this, ok, let's google a recipe that includes those items. Bam! Meal planned 😀

 

That's how I ended up having leftover cooked lentils as part of my breakfast today 😛 

 

20200514_074701.jpg.d7ac048fbd624ccb5545d7fedc243a4b.jpg

 

(not pictured, two pieces of loaded hummus toast)

 

It's a great way to get creative with your cooking, trying new recipes, and to think outside of the box when it comes to what to eat for different meals.

 

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On 5/12/2020 at 2:28 PM, sylph said:

I'm a fan of Noelle Stevenson. She has some webcomics, but this is a piece of hers that has always resonated with me. It's called "The Upside of Being an Introvert"

the-upside-of-being-an-introvert-prints.

Oh I love her too! 

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9 hours ago, Tobbe said:

This is literally how I plan most my meals. What's in the fridge that needs eating *now* or it will spoil? Ohh, this and this, ok, let's google a recipe that includes those items. Bam! Meal planned 😀

 

 

Isn't this how meal planning is supposed to work..? Am I doing it wrong?

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1 hour ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

Isn't this how meal planning is supposed to work..? Am I doing it wrong?

 

I think this is one of two ways! I do it the other way around - I plan what I am going to cook for the week and then buy what I need to cook it. I don't generally buy perishables "just because." That said, I do periodically "shop" my pantry and freezer to see what's there that I can use to make something, then buy what I need to round out the recipes.

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2 hours ago, starsapart said:

I think this is one of two ways! I do it the other way around - I plan what I am going to cook for the week and then buy what I need to cook it.

 

This is how I do too. Or at least that's how it starts out. But then after eating what I've planned I'm often left with random leftovers. Like ⅓ cup of cooked lentils as seen above. Or like today's dinner where I needed some cauliflower. But now I have half a head of cauliflower in my fridge, and the leaves from it, that I'll in a few days will need to be eaten. And I've already planned dinner for the rest of the week :)  I also have some hummus in the fridge that I've been having as a snack and sandwich spread the last week. So I'm going to have to do something with that as well before it goes bad. 

 

Don't get me wrong, it's a nice problem to have, a fridge full of food. But even with good planning intentions, it seems like I always end up in a place where I have to rescue food that's about to start smelling funky 😛 

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Hatter!!! Here to cheer you on as a fellow outside loving person who needs to remind himself to get some movement in.

 

Also, that Disraeli quote....damn. I had to write it down on a post-it and put it next to my desk right after seeing it.

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On 5/12/2020 at 6:44 PM, raptron said:

Ahhh, so glad you are spreading the word as well. :D

 

I will say this particular book really lends itself to being read in physical form or maaaybe on a very large tablet... or perhaps on a computer: https://www.onasunbeam.com/ because this is the web version, which is a slightly rougher version of the final product. 😛

Good to know! I read it in physical form and assumed it'd be the same.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 12:24 PM, analoggirl said:

Weird question, but what alarm tones do you use? I used to do this for a long time but it drove those around me - and eventually myself - nuts :D

I have a few different ones, some of them are soft chimes, one's an accordion haha. If I know it will take a while before I get around to it I snooze it for say an hour instead of auto snoozing.

 

On 5/14/2020 at 9:21 AM, Tobbe said:

It's a great way to get creative with your cooking, trying new recipes, and to think outside of the box when it comes to what to eat for different meals.

Oh no, you misunderstand. I'm at the cook to survive stage, not cook to enjouy.

 

On 5/16/2020 at 3:12 AM, Mike Wazowski said:

Hatter!!! Here to cheer you on as a fellow outside loving person who needs to remind himself to get some movement in.

 

Also, that Disraeli quote....damn. I had to write it down on a post-it and put it next to my desk right after seeing it.

Lovely to see you! I've been wondering where you're at!

 

On 5/16/2020 at 11:58 AM, Tobbe said:

Since we're posting art, I figured I'd share these from the NF Prime discord

Brilliant! 😄

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Heeey which respawn are we on now? I lost count.

 

Feel free to skip. Not after sympathy, or solutions, or anything. 

Spoiler

Actually I'm not sure I'm going to call this a respawn post, because I still feel like garbage. I managed to get the worst thoughts out of control, buuut motivation is at an all time low, I can count the number of times I trained in the last month on one hand, I can barely work... I'm really just posting to not completely disappear but I'm not even sure why I bother. Maybe it will help the thought loops stop?

 

I had a triggering conversation with my parents the other day. Not on purpose, but it added to the garbage points.

 

I whinged about work and the direction of our new project. My mum told me it's a waste of life. I agree, but I also don't have any skills to get out of it, and no idea what skills I'd like to get. On top of that my dad adds in whether I'm not tired of working for the man yet. Yes, yes I am. None of this is helping, I just feel more stuck. 

 

My parents also need help with a thing and it's not that I don't want to help but I'm concerned about the potential endless arguments and not being able to commit as much as they'd like me to. It makes me feel like a jerk.

 

Later he asks what I'm doing with my time if I'm not training or doing any of my normal life stuff. I was drawing at the time, but I didn't want to tell him. It's not that I don't think he'd be supportive, quite the opposite. He might even be helpful and give useful feedback. He actually taught me stuff when I was a kid, before I started to refuse listening to any of his advice. But all I can think about is what's going to happen if I say don't practice for a few weeks, and the comments about how flaky I am, that I don't commit to anything and that I'm a quitter. Basically the story of my life. I also don't want to show him how slowly I'm progressing, if at all. For him it all comes so quickly at this point, as an example he's pretty much become a self taught master jeweller in only a few years. So I pretended I was doing nothing and got a bunch of shit for it. Which admittedly is true most of the time, but there's just something wrong about the whole thing... 

 

And contrary to all logic, I seem to have internalized that the isolation is my fault. Not the virus obviously, but the loneliness. Despite plenty of counter examples.

 

There have also been tummy aches and headaches which haven't been helping.

 

Tl;dr it's been a garbage week. I've had some brief respites from my brain when drawing though.

 

Spoiler

Cranky old tortoise.

IMG_8272.jpg.455d8be161403a3a8eaaa5f3b67901bf.jpg

 

Concept for a thing.

IMG_8286.jpg.67a0f4495a0bb83b0040b92c7168296c.jpg

 

I tried to turn a doodle into a painting because Mermay. It turned into a disaster and looks like a 10 year old got hold of MS Paint for the first time. But I got a page of notes on what I need to do for next time. The biggest lesson was that having vague ideas it not the same as having a real plan. My initial doodle I envisioned as an inked cartoony drawing, before changing my mind. Which lead to a cascade of bad decisions that I tried to fix but ultimately made things worse. Oh well. There's always the next one.

IMG_0160.JPG.0c0650da8f82997f2d18fd88def2c6cf.JPG

 

The guy from Figuary (love life drawing) had a live session on YT which I joined. We did master studies of very good artists. focusing less on proportion but on the marks that they make. It always amazes me what a kind teacher he is.

IMG_8289.jpg.34f99a0c923488dc054c8c90f4bc327e.jpg.  IMG_8290.jpg.a6b7f32c825487747f58343e5a26c40f.jpg

 

As for actual goals, I've been trying to follow my schedule a little bit, and take notes on what I procrastinate on or skip. *cough* movement *cough* The rest of the boxes I've been semi doing though not always in the right order. And usually everything is shifted. So yeah, sorry for the crappy update, I'll try again next week.

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I like the thing

 

IMG_8286.jpg

 

Can really tell from the tone of your post you're not doing too great, and that sucks to hear :( 

 

1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

I'll try again next week.

 

Not much else to do, is there?

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2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I'm really just posting to not completely disappear but I'm not even sure why I bother. Maybe it will help the thought loops stop?

I hope so! I (we?) appreciate having you not completely disappear 😘
 

also it seems to me that your art is progressing very fast, ofcourse I’m not an expert but from here it looks like you’re practicing a lot and pretty consistently. You’re doing the thing! 

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Well, I have no sympathy or solutions for you.  (Since you aren't looking for those :)Though I find it sucks that someone that I look up to(*) & does so many cool things even WITH all these downs in between the ups, is feeling this way. 

 

As for showing up... You never know what will help you until you get over a hurdle.

 

During the times of my lows, I try to keep track of what all I am thinking/doing etc. so I have a frame of reference of what got me out the next time I get into one. It seems like it helps, but again. Different times, different circumstances... You never stand in the same river twice.

 

Like Tobbe said... What else is there than to try again? (and hopefully fall a bit better than last time?)

 

(*) Oh yeah, what can I say? Cannot help but sometimes feel like a grass hopper :D

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Hmmm. I can sympathise, because I had a low motivation patch that lasted almost 20 years before things started looking better. I can totally understand wanting to avoid even 'helpful' and 'supportive' conversations with your parents. I couldn't get started on developing internal motivation until I had calmed my incredible anxiety, which I wasn't even really aware of because it was so generalised and ever-present. I needed a super, super safe little space in my mind--where I didn't feel pressured AT ALL by anyone--in order to start planting the little seeds of interest in that frozen earth. Damnit. I hope you find some respite and a way to move forward.

I love those figures, by the way. I like the core shadow and reflected light on the bum of the left picture (is that weird?) and the variations in the lines on the right picture; you've got angular lines, soft curves, and organic, scribbly parts and I like all of them. I also think it's mighty of you to be trying out your own concepts. I feel very uncertain about doing that. 
 

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