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[Mad Hatter] Respawn #436-#438


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14 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

Speaking of local data: did you know that black women in New York are 8 times more likely to die from childbirth related complications than white women? 

 

Yes, I actually knew that. It's one of many things that need to change.

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1 hour ago, KB Girl said:

Speaking of local data: did you know that black women in New York are 8 times more likely to die from childbirth related complications than white women? 


I knew the general fact, didn’t know the exact number though. I believe that mortality rate is higher pretty much nationwide.

 

And while we’re talking about numbers...

 

4 hours ago, analoggirl said:

If there were as many Timpas as Floyds, somehow I think the police would have been reformed a long time ago? 


The closest thing we have to the numbers you’re looking for is here, in the Washington Post’s database on police shootings. Keep in mind that this is specifically on shootings, so neither Timpa nor Floyd are captured in that database, specifically. I’m not aware of any solid data on chokehold or non-shooting related deaths. The Bureau of Justice Statistics does have a national database on broader use of force, but police departments are not required to report any information to it, and less than half of them do.
 

The Post’s database has very clear numbers, but they are also a great illustration of how statistics can be twisted. Half of the overall victims of police shootings recorded in the database were white, so someone could tell you with a straight face that there are more Timpas than Floyds. But when you compare the rate that black people are killed by police to their percentage of the population, the rate of black people killed by police shootings is much, much higher.

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5 hours ago, KB Girl said:

I think it’s wildly inappropriate to drop this here without giving any sort of context or contribution to the discussion or making your intentions/thoughts known. 

I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but it seemed pretty clear to me from the context how the comment fit

 

10 hours ago, Hazard said:
On 6/7/2020 at 6:13 AM, PaulG said:

What George Floyd's murder proved in a way that no one can ignore is that we have a system which, in its design, allows the murder of people of color in ways and numbers that white people would not be, and are not murdered.

 

Tony Timpa would disagree.

I see this because the way I read the original comment it gave off very strong vibes of "this only happens to black people" even though on a second reading I can see that it doesn't necessarily have that connotation.

 

I understand your mileage may vary, but I had to read it more than once to catch that it was not, in fact, saying that the issue is limited to only POC.  My initial reaction was similar to what Hazard wrote.

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7 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

My initial reaction was similar

 

Me too, actually, but these type of messages require careful reading. And context awareness. This discussion has been in the context of "yes, shit is hitting the fan everywhere, and for everyone, but this type of treatment has been relatively far worse for THIS group" 

 

EDIT: and things will be better for EVERYONE if we give agressive people less victims to get their "fix", highlighting were the leaks are further and stopping the leaks. 

 

I'd go so far as to say that Power hungry people don't discriminate as much as they pick which group they are most likely to get away with putting their metaphorical knee-at-the-neck on. But maybe that's optimistic.

 

EDIT: And with this statement I am kind of indirectly making new points that I am not further elaborating on right now but I will get back to this soon. 

 

>Not blaming anyone because emotions run high about this topic and no-one is immune to (reading) mistakes. Just pointing it out.

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20 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but it seemed pretty clear to me from the context how the comment fit

 

I see this because the way I read the original comment it gave off very strong vibes of "this only happens to black people" even though on a second reading I can see that it doesn't necessarily have that connotation.

 

I understand your mileage may vary, but I had to read it more than once to catch that it was not, in fact, saying that the issue is limited to only POC.  My initial reaction was similar to what Hazard wrote.

It’s a sensitive topic so I think it’s fair to expect careful communication while we’re visiting someone else’s thread. Especially when that person was just expressing frustration and impotent rage over the subject. 

Not as censorship- I’m pretty sure we can discuss anything from all angles, as long as everyone is carefully trying to understand the other and carefully trying to make him/herself understood.

@PaulG did this beautifully. 

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On 6/7/2020 at 6:47 PM, WhiteGhost said:

I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but it seemed pretty clear to me from the context how the comment fit

 

I see this because the way I read the original comment it gave off very strong vibes of "this only happens to black people" even though on a second reading I can see that it doesn't necessarily have that connotation.

 

I understand your mileage may vary, but I had to read it more than once to catch that it was not, in fact, saying that the issue is limited to only POC.  My initial reaction was similar to what Hazard wrote.


Point taken. In retrospect, I wouldn’t be surprised if that misunderstanding is a fairly common one.

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It really is lovely is great to see how civil a discussion like this can be! Thank you. 😊I've been mulling things over (a lot of things!) and for this particular person I decided to let it go. I said a lot of the same things you've suggested and even if it wasn't the most eloquent in the heat of the moment I hope other people took note of the sentiment. For him there never was a chance, it really isn't fear or any of those things. This is a person who has straight out told me I'm worth less as a person if I don't get children, and that it's wrong to portray gay and interracial sex in sex ed because the kids might end up curious and/or believing it's ok. This he said in a company where one person was brown, the other had just had and mixed race baby and the third one was me.

 

I was going to write "in other news" but there's really nothing happening. 😄I've had a few days of basically recuperating. Especially on Sunday I caught a bout of extreme fatigue which I solved by watching all three Despicable Me movies haha. (The last one was not worth it) I know some of you are also tired and hurt and stressed and I just want to say that it's especially important to take care of your mental health these trying days. It might feel wrong to turn away from the news but you just cannot be a useful helping human being if you're too tired or are too emotional to think straight and act well. 

 

What else. I've spent some time working on a drawing but it's not coming along and I've had to take a break from it. Fitness is still not happening, and it's still weirding me out. I did go for a swim one of the days! It's still flippin' cold, but feels really good. Today I took my laptop to a café and worked from their porch for half the day and I've got to say I'm absolutely loving WFH days like this and I'm in no hurry to go back to the office. 😄

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9 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

This is a person who has straight out told me

 

This is kinda what I meant with some people not so much discriminating bc they truly believe someone is worth less but because it gives them a power trip.

 

For such people it usually isn't just race, or women, or sexual minorities or w/e.

 

It's everything they can get away with trampling over. It's addictive so it's difficult for them to stop. Cue ---> thought habit ---> reward.

 

Not sure but it really seems that way 🤔 

 

Not to mention it's much easier to put others down than to be better yourself. But those are all more vague statements that I will think about how to elaborate more on another time haha

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19 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

I can sort of see what you're getting at, but I'm not sure what the difference is in the end? 

 

The difference is that you can spot more easily which strategy is needed with which group.

 

People who are trying to make sense of the world and be a better part of it but have prejudices? Spend time on.

 

People who just seek power trips? Go for more short term measures and focus om other ways to make progress to happen so they simply aren't allowed to get away with it on such a deep level haha 

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15 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

The difference is that you can spot more easily which strategy is needed with which group.

 

People who are trying to make sense of the world and be a better part of it but have prejudices? Spend time on.

 

People who just seek power trips? Go for more short term measures and focus om other ways to make progress to happen so they simply aren't allowed to get away with it on such a deep level haha 

Ah ok, gotcha. I was thinking more about the outcome of the person's actions, and not how my own actions would inform their behaviour. That makes sense.

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19 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

It might feel wrong to turn away from the news but you just cannot be a useful helping human being if you're too tired or are too emotional to think straight and act well. 

This has been a coping mechanism of mine for a long time. I've gotten very comfortable with flat out telling people when I'm not watching the news and not 'keeping up' on purpose. I used to feel bad/guilty/embarrassed about it, but keeping your own mental health intact is an important step to take.

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19 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 I know some of you are also tired and hurt and stressed and I just want to say that it's especially important to take care of your mental health these trying days. It might feel wrong to turn away from the news but you just cannot be a useful helping human being if you're too tired or are too emotional to think straight and act well. 

 

I am really starting to feel that, based purely on how often I have seen this expressed here lately, "Put on your own oxygen mask before you help others" needs to be some kind of official Nerd Fitness motto... :D 

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3 hours ago, sylph said:

This has been a coping mechanism of mine for a long time. I've gotten very comfortable with flat out telling people when I'm not watching the news and not 'keeping up' on purpose. I used to feel bad/guilty/embarrassed about it, but keeping your own mental health intact is an important step to take.

This has been my approach too, for years. I didn't see the point of reading news that I couldn't affect anyway. The only purpose it'd serve would be as a conversation piece, but honestly what I found was that it's much more useful to watch GoT or whatever's trending than the news, both in social situation and for my sanity. 🤷‍♀️For the past few months it's just been really, really hard to avoid.

 

2 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

I am really starting to feel that, based purely on how often I have seen this expressed here lately, "Put on your own oxygen mask before you help others" needs to be some kind of official Nerd Fitness motto... :D 

So true. 😁

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Another challenge, another flop. Not too surprising given the challenge title. 😛But honestly I don't even know what I'm doing at this point. I'm on a fitness challenge forum, doing neither fitness nor challenges. 🤔What makes it extra weird is that I'm feeling great and summer and life here are in full swing. It's just all so confusing. 

 

Braindump/misc rambling thoughts that I'm having trouble making sense of. Or maybe I do but I just don't like it.

  • Fitness: I'm really not sure what to do here. It's like I've suddenly lost a big part of my identity, but I'm also ok with it? Like there's finally more room for other identities to take that spot (not to mention time and energy). But I also really believe that movement is a hugely important part of being human, so I can't go on being this sedentary for ever. Does that mean I should start doing muggle things, for health? That sounds dull. Just do some social climbing? That feels weird somehow, and not in the good way. I could also pick up one of my old hobbies, and hope that by doing I'll find inspiration again. The thing that is still calling to me is pole, for many reasons, but one of them is that maybe I'm still a little intrigued by the idea of one day creating something with it, just to see what it's like. But it feels oddly daunting to start from scratch, I'm just so unfamiliar with this feeling that I feel physically and mentally fine, have plenty of energy and yet I'm not throwing myself upside down.
  • Art: Speaking of identities, the thing that's taking more and more space in my life is art. I'm still not managing to draw anywhere near as much as I'd like, and there's way too many days where I do nothing, but somehow it feels like this is really important and I'm on the right track. But it also makes me really sad that I started this late and the mountain is so huge and I suck so much and it would've been fine if I felt like I've had time, but I don't, it feel like it's running out. 
  • Work: As in - I hate my job and I don't know for how long I'll be able to last. What makes it worse is that there's so many new things going on in the company, we're building new frameworks, picking shiny new languages, shiny new tools, basically we're doing all the things developers love to do and get to do very rarely. And I just don't care. Somehow it was better when I was plodding along, doing the same mechanical things, than this contrast between the excitement from my colleague vs the complete disinterest on my part. It just makes it painfully clear that I've gone deeeep in the wrong direction. Which I already knew, but it feels so much worse now.
  • Money: The problem is that I still really don't know what I'd like to do, and I still don't have any skills and it's still very stressful. At the beginning of the year I had a vague idea of setting it all on fire (thanks world for doing it for me!) and go traveling for a while, but 1) I don't know when I'll be free to to do so and 2) as much as it pains me it probably doesn't make sense. At some point I will have to make a complete career redirect and the more money I have, in other words the more time I have, the better I'll feel about it. The thing that makes sense is to stick with this job for as long as I can and try to figure something out quickly before I spontaneously quit my job and start planting flowers or sell ice cream.
  • Business: The thing that could maaaaaybe give me a way out is if I could turn my dad's jewelry making into an actual business. My parents are impossible to deal with and while they do want to make it happen they also need huge amounts of pressuring. But in theory we wouldn't have to sell much to get at least a decent side income if not cover all our expenses. And if it doesn't work then I'd at least get experience in the things that they want me to do - marketing, talking to people, copywriting, making the website, pushing them to action. I don't have any skills either in most of those things, but they can't do it on their own, and it might come in handy in whatever I end up doing.
  • Scheduling: So now I have a few things to juggle - trying to get back to movement, do more art, keep my job, work on my parents business, plus you know, do the adulting and have a social life. I'm absolutely awful at scheduling and routines, but I think I really have to learn, both for my current list and for however my life might change in the future. But again, I don't really know how when every other attempt has failed...

Hah, and @Tobbe said I'm too young to have a midlife crisis, well eat this! 😆

 

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The business bit is interesting :) I think you're quite an interdisciplinary person and it would fit you if I may say so. 

 

It's interesting you used the word "fitness". Yes it is "fitness" technically I guess, but maybe that's what boring you a tad bit, and why perhaps pole is calling you, because it has artistic elements in it. Personally, yes I know I do "fitness" in a way, with repetitive workouts with reps and hold times, and all that stuff, but every so often, I need movement for creativity (or some body self-consciousness, I don't know how to call it) and I think that drive is my primary mover actually, not the fitness bit.  "Fitness building" helps of course because then I get to have more choices in the moves I can do and my body gets super excited by that :P  but I enjoy it as a mean not as a purpose in itself. If that makes any sense. And not wanting to put words in your mouth, but I do feel it's a bit like that for you too in a way. And you're more sensitive to boredom / repetitiveness than I am maybe.

 

And art ❤️ this has been such a big change these past challenges. I hope you don't dwell to much on starting late etc. You do not suck at all, quite the opposite! You have so low self-confidence sometimes, and it's a mental defense that keeps coming back that one (I suck, what's the point). I hope you find a way over time to let the head weasels play their little game without affecting you too much.

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1 hour ago, @mu said:

and it's a mental defense that keeps coming back that one (I suck, what's the point).

 

I second what @mu says, including the reservation that I may be filling in more than I can.


Rooting for youuu

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7 hours ago, @mu said:

The business bit is interesting :) I think you're quite an interdisciplinary person and it would fit you if I may say so. 

I can absolutely see myself juggling a few different hats at the same time, or working from project to project. I find myself missing this a lot now actually. In my current job I'm just a developer. In my previous job I was a developer, a physicist, sometimes a teacher, sometimes a demonstrator, sometimes I worked with clients in various capacities. When I was in Oz it did get a little toooo crazy when I had to change from physicist to sales person within the same meeting, true. But overall it kept me interested in what I was doing for way longer and it was a lot more fun that way. The thing that intimidates me a little is that I'd have to become an organized person. 😅And not let my mood swings get in the way... But right now I'm also in a prime position to work on this, I work remotely and don't have any other obligations.

 

7 hours ago, @mu said:

It's interesting you used the word "fitness". Yes it is "fitness" technically I guess, but maybe that's what boring you a tad bit, and why perhaps pole is calling you, because it has artistic elements in it. Personally, yes I know I do "fitness" in a way, with repetitive workouts with reps and hold times, and all that stuff, but every so often, I need movement for creativity (or some body self-consciousness, I don't know how to call it) and I think that drive is my primary mover actually, not the fitness bit.  "Fitness building" helps of course because then I get to have more choices in the moves I can do and my body gets super excited by that :P  but I enjoy it as a mean not as a purpose in itself. If that makes any sense. And not wanting to put words in your mouth, but I do feel it's a bit like that for you too in a way. And you're more sensitive to boredom / repetitiveness than I am maybe.

I used the word fitness on purpose because this is a fitness forum. 😛But I really dislike the term, for me personally fitness is something you should do, and is devoid of joy. I do realize that crossfit has taken over the word and is actually a lot of fun for many people, but that's a different story. So I used the word because if we for a second make the hypothetical assumption that I've lost the "must be upside down" part of my identity, I'd still have to start doing "fitness" in order to keep healthy. But let's be real, the notion is ridiculous. I'd hate it and it doesn't even make sense. Just because I started letting other things play a bigger part in my life doesn't mean that I should replace one identity with another. It's much healthier to not lock myself into one side of me, but to able to shift priorities as needed. And it's impossible that I've suddenly stopped enjoying being upside down or do stupid human tricks. 😄

The artistic elements are definitely part of why I really like pole. It's also because it has elements of so many things that are cool - strength, dance, flips, flexibility, handstands. There's also a huge diversity in style, ages, body type. And it's still evolving, both as an art form, but also as an industry (one of the few female dominated industries too!). Circus has some of these elements too, but not within the same discipline, and it's a lot less forgiving when it comes to physical conditioning. 

 

Thank you, just having this little conversation has already clarified a lot! And I'm even getting excited to start again, as a beginner.

 

8 hours ago, @mu said:

And art ❤️ this has been such a big change these past challenges. I hope you don't dwell to much on starting late etc. You do not suck at all, quite the opposite! You have so low self-confidence sometimes, and it's a mental defense that keeps coming back that one (I suck, what's the point). I hope you find a way over time to let the head weasels play their little game without affecting you too much.

Nah I don't dwell on starting too late, it's only in the context of the "what ifs? What options would I have had done now, had I not stopped? What if I'd taken a different path when I was young? I know it's not helpful at all and I do try to avoid it. I also believe that there's a timeline for everything and it probably would've been a bad option at the time. But what's stressful is that it's like the relative timeline for quitting my job is extremely short, while my timeline for getting good at anything, art or otherwise, is extremely long and I somehow need to reconcile the two.

It's funny you say low self-confidence. It's true that I say that I suck, but my bar is professional level work. Not saying that I necessarily want to be a professional (not because of age, but because of strings attached) but that's the level I'd like to reach one day. Yep that's me saying it out loud! And while I objectively look at what I do and it sucks and it's really hard and I can see mistake after mistake, when I look at other people's work, I actually do believe that I could get there given enough experience. The difficulties in getting started has less to do with brain weasels, and more to do with that most things require a lot of concentration at this point, and sometimes it's hard to come by the mental energy. This didn't use to be the case though!

But you're right in that it's probably not very helpful to say that I suck, and it's really not very fun to read. 😕Incidentally I was listening to an art podcast and the host mentioned how much he hates when artists post things on say IG with a disclaimer - this is unfinished, it's not very good, it's just a quick sketch, I'm only playing, only learning. Rather than just saying hey this is the best I can do right now, I hope you like it, and leave it at that. I... need to practice that. 🙂

 

7 hours ago, analoggirl said:

I second what @mu says, including the reservation that I may be filling in more than I can.


Rooting for youuu

Thank youuu! ❤️

 

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On a less "Life Y U So Hard" note - I had such a nice day today! We went climbing, and for the first time since I got back to it I felt like I was really climbing. Not just surviving. 😛My body was moving well and connected and not like an assorted collection of limbs. It's a good feeling! Afterwards we went to the beach and swam and played Bohnanza, which was fun despite that I lost... 😉I'm also just really happy that I've had 3 days in a row of seeing friends AND sunshine. While I'm grateful that video calls are a thing now, it's really not the same.

 

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39 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

I'm also just really happy that I've had 3 days in a row of seeing friends AND sunshine. While I'm grateful that video calls are a thing now, it's really not the same.

 

Truth^ Glad you had an enjoyable week

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On 6/13/2020 at 8:24 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Hah, and @Tobbe said I'm too young to have a midlife crisis, well eat this! 😆

 

Still no tattoos or convertible cars... 😄😛

 

On 6/13/2020 at 8:24 PM, Mad Hatter said:

But honestly I don't even know what I'm doing at this point. I'm on a fitness challenge forum, doing neither fitness nor challenges. 🤔

 

I obviously can't speak for anyone else, but to me that's perfectly fine. And, besides, you're 100% doing challenges. Just look at that list you posted - it's pretty clear you have plenty of challenges, and you're working on them too, by just writing them down, and that's great!

 

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What makes it extra weird is that I'm feeling great and summer and life here are in full swing. It's just all so confusing. 

 

To hear you say that you're feeling great is such a big change to how you expressed your feelings just a little while ago. Is it the "hugs" *wink* *wink* 😛 But seriously though, your better mood will give you some extra energy to deal with all the thoughts that have come up 🧠

 

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Fitness: [...] I also really believe that movement is a hugely important part of being human, so I can't go on being this sedentary for ever.

 

💯 And you won't be sedentary forever. There will come a time when the itch to move becomes too strong. And when it does, just do whatever you feel like. Yes, movement is important, but in what form is not important at all. You (we) don't have to focus at one thing at be great at that. Of course it's fun to be good at something, but for general health that doesn't matter at all.

 

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[...] muggle things [...] social climbing [...] pick up one of my old hobbies [...] pole

 

Try it all! See what sparks some joy! Don't focus on performance, just move 🤸‍♀️

 

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Work: As in - I hate my job and I don't know for how long I'll be able to last. 

 

I know the feeling of just wanting out. I didn't want to get out of my field, but I just had to get out of the place I was at. And it's tough. Not knowing what to do instead, or how to change the situation, is difficult.

 

If you're not passionate about what you do anymore, people will start noticing, and it will only suck more. So yeah, definitely take your time to think about this. Make plans. See if/how you can work towards where you want to go with what you have and where you are right now.

 

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Money: The problem is that I still really don't know what I'd like to do, and I still don't have any skills and it's still very stressful.

 

Of course you have skills! And if nothing else, at least you have the skills to learn what you need to know whatever you decide you want to do.

 

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At the beginning of the year I had a vague idea of setting it all on fire (thanks world for doing it for me!) and go traveling for a while, but 1) I don't know when I'll be free to to do so and

 

What do you mean "free to do so"? Quit your job today and you should be free to go in at most three months, no?

 

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2) as much as it pains me it probably doesn't make sense.

 

Does it ever? Travel is almost always only something we do for our own sake. As much as we want it to solve all of our problems it never does. Go travel because you want to, because it's fun! Not as a way to find the answer to all of life's questions.

 

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At some point I will have to make a complete career redirect and the more money I have, in other words the more time I have, the better I'll feel about it.

 

The more money you have, the easier it'll be. But I'm not so sure that will necessarily make you feel any better about it. It will always be scary, we will always be afraid of making the wrong choices.

 

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The thing that makes sense is to stick with this job for as long as I can and try to figure something out quickly before I spontaneously quit my job and start planting flowers or sell ice cream.

 

So what if you start planting flowers or sell ice cream? You have no one else than yourself to take care of. No obligations to anyone to earn so or so much money, or to have any specific kind of job.

 

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Business: The thing that could maaaaaybe give me a way out is if I could turn my dad's jewelry making into an actual business.

 

I know this is a fitness challenge forum, but this is something I'd love to read about! And besides, that would fit squarely in to the "personal development" box that a lot of us write about. Call it part of the "mindset" category if you must.

 

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My parents are impossible to deal with and while they do want to make it happen they also need huge amounts of pressuring.

 

I must admit that when I first read about your idea of running a business with your dad I was very surprised. From what I've previously read you two can have some challenging interactions sometimes... Please be careful, and think about your mental health too.

 

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But in theory we wouldn't have to sell much to get at least a decent side income if not cover all our expenses.

 

Clearly I know nothing about the jewelry business, but you really think you could sell enough to cover three salaries + materials and everything else needed? If so, very nice opportunity! 🤑

 

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And if it doesn't work then I'd at least get experience in the things that they want me to do

 

"They" want you to do!? But what about you? Is it something that *you* want to do?

 

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Scheduling: So now I have a few things to juggle - trying to get back to movement, do more art, keep my job, work on my parents business, plus you know, do the adulting and have a social life. I'm absolutely awful at scheduling and routines, but I think I really have to learn, both for my current list and for however my life might change in the future. But again, I don't really know how when every other attempt has failed...

 

Could it be as simple as you haven't ever truly needed to do proper scheduling? That's why you feel you're not all that good at it? You've gotten this far with the kind and level of scheduling you've been doing. So if you stayed on the same path it would continue to work for you, right?

If you changed path, maybe you'd find you really had to do more scheduling (and stick to it), and then maybe you'd also get good/better at it -- out of necessity!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Still no tattoos or convertible cars... 😄😛

 

😀Haha only because 1) I haven't figured out what I'd like my first one to be, and 2) I don't want things 😛

 

4 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Of course you have skills! And if nothing else, at least you have the skills to learn what you need to know whatever you decide you want to do.

Not professional ones. And yes I can learn, but I need to know what to learn first. It's easy to say make a plan, then follow it, but I need at least a vague direction first.

 

4 hours ago, Tobbe said:

What do you mean "free to do so"? Quit your job today and you should be free to go in at most three months, no?

I really don't know how this is going to pan out. Different countries are on different timelines, not to mention potential second waves, or political unrest as a result of increased poverty...

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Does it ever? Travel is almost always only something we do for our own sake. As much as we want it to solve all of our problems it never does. Go travel because you want to, because it's fun! Not as a way to find the answer to all of life's questions.

It is fun, but honestly I have more important things to do. Like figuring out all of life's questions hahaa. 😅Travel would be an easy way to escape the grind and give myself more room, but it was always just this vague idea, and not a life goal as such.

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

The more money you have, the easier it'll be. But I'm not so sure that will necessarily make you feel any better about it. It will always be scary, we will always be afraid of making the wrong choices.

Sure. But there's a very real, practical component too. Say I'll have to go back to school, or need other start up costs for whatever reason. I'd rather not get into into debt to do that. I'd also prefer to be able to focus entirely on whatever I'm doing than ending up in a situation where I'm forced to take bad jobs just to pay the bills. If I spend my savings on travel I might end up shooting myself in the foot long term.

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

So what if you start planting flowers or sell ice cream? You have no one else than yourself to take care of. No obligations to anyone to earn so or so much money, or to have any specific kind of job.

Those are not things I want to do either. And I have an obligation to myself to find something else to do... But you're absolutely right in that I don't need to have a specific kind of job, and I couldn't care less about my title. (Unless they'd change my master's degree to Mistress of Science. That's a good title.)

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

I must admit that when I first read about your idea of running a business with your dad I was very surprised. From what I've previously read you two can have some challenging interactions sometimes... Please be careful, and think about your mental health too.

That's a very valid concern. And I have thought about it. A lot. I've even talked to my parents about this, and about boundaries. I think it was @Scalyfreak who suggested communicating via email and I've started sending questions via email instead to give them time to think and I think that's a good approach. Also separating business related talk with personal chats. I think it can work out, as long as we're clear on our roles and don't butt into each other's business too much. 😛But it will be a challenge for sure and it might all go to hell. But I also think it'd be cool to try and build something. The nice thing about doing this is that it's a good learning opportunity, but at the same time I'm not emotionally or financially invested in it.

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Clearly I know nothing about the jewelry business, but you really think you could sell enough to cover three salaries + materials and everything else needed? If so, very nice opportunity! 🤑

 

My dad is unemployed, my mum works in a restaurant and I live fairly cheaply. So I do think it's possible, one day. The stuff he makes are elaborate one off pieces, which take a long time to make, and will have to cost a lot as a result. Pricing is something to be figured out, but my guesstimate is that we'd have to sell 1-2 pieces a month to cover basic bills, which does not sound unreasonable to me.

 

5 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Could it be as simple as you haven't ever truly needed to do proper scheduling? That's why you feel you're not all that good at it? You've gotten this far with the kind and level of scheduling you've been doing. So if you stayed on the same path it would continue to work for you, right?

If you changed path, maybe you'd find you really had to do more scheduling (and stick to it), and then maybe you'd also get good/better at it -- out of necessity!

Well, my uni life would've been much less bumpy with proper scheduling. 😄Since then I haven't needed it, work and classes have provided my schedule. And at work I always have a clear hierarchy of the things I need to get done. But even at work, sometimes I get stuck on something and work for a long time, sometimes I have days where I do next to nothing... But no, with my current method I won't be able to do everything I want to do. I waste too much time. Necessity is a great teacher, but then again, it'd make my life less stressful in the future to learn those skills now that I'm in a comfortable spot.

Actually I think that'd be a good focus for upcoming challenges. 🙂
 

Thanks for all the good thoughts!

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Ever since I looked for a fun gif of the mad hatter to post here, I have been getting YT recommendations for various Mad Hatter videos. I am not complaining :D

 

Check out this on topic one:

 

 

 

And this unrelated one:

 

 

Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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16 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

The thing that intimidates me a little is that I'd have to become an organized person. 😅And not let my mood swings get in the way... But right now I'm also in a prime position to work on this, I work remotely and don't have any other obligations.

As a business owner with somewhat similar problems I can tell you that it's very far from ideal... but that doesn't mean it won't work out. My business would definitely be loads better if i could organise things better.. but.. it's running. I've lost clients because of my mood swings, especially because they make me stop replying for days.. but i've found enough that stick with me even through that. And i've learned to break the "oh i havent called this person in days i cant handle doing it now and its going to get worse and worse" faster.. which are the type of things you'll only learn when you are in the middle of it you know? (and lets not mention that person ive not contacted in the last 4 months, okay?) I just try to make up for all the mess in the periods that i'm super productive and try to work ahead or set up things that will make things a bit less bad when i fall away from the face of the earth again for a bit. 

All this to say; go for it. You'll learn and get better at the things you absolutely need to as you go, and you'll learn to work around things, and you'll crash and burn and make mistakes and lose opportunities, but whatever, it'll balance out. 

 

I hope that was somewhat more hopeful than depressing? :D

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Main Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and a great coach

Current challenge: KB Girl dusts off her competition skills

my instagram - my gym's instagram

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Your day sounded great! Hope for more of those coming soon!

The Wolverine - Level 5 // BER  6.5 // HEA  4 // STR  4.4 // STA  3 // DEX  4 // CON  4 // WIS  4.75 // CHA  1

He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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