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Mad Hatter

[Mad Hatter] Respawn #436-#438

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Thanks for sharing all of your recent reflections. Hating your job is such a hard place to be in, especially when you don't know what direction to go toward instead and are kind of trapped by circumstance (as SO MANY PEOPLE are right now, yeesh). Mistress of Science would be delightful. Best of luck helping out with your dad's business, though! Working with family always sounds incredibly tricky to me, but it could be a cool thing to pursue!

 

23 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Incidentally I was listening to an art podcast and the host mentioned how much he hates when artists post things on say IG with a disclaimer - this is unfinished, it's not very good, it's just a quick sketch, I'm only playing, only learning. Rather than just saying hey this is the best I can do right now, I hope you like it, and leave it at that. I... need to practice that. 🙂

IT IS A TOUGH SKILL TO LEARN. 

 

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On 6/10/2020 at 11:42 AM, Mad Hatter said:

 For him there never was a chance, it really isn't fear or any of those things. This is a person who has straight out told me I'm worth less as a person if I don't get children, and that it's wrong to portray gay and interracial sex in sex ed because the kids might end up curious and/or believing it's ok. This he said in a company where one person was brown, the other had just had and mixed race baby and the third one was me.

 

Forkballs. Please forget everything I said about engaging empathetically. Just use "the incredulous stare" on him and keep doing what you need to do 😕 

 

On 6/13/2020 at 11:24 AM, Mad Hatter said:

Art: Speaking of identities, the thing that's taking more and more space in my life is art. I'm still not managing to draw anywhere near as much as I'd like, and there's way too many days where I do nothing, but somehow it feels like this is really important and I'm on the right track. But it also makes me really sad that I started this late and the mountain is so huge and I suck so much and it would've been fine if I felt like I've had time, but I don't, it feel like it's running out. 

 

It's okay to mourn for lost time. BUT WHAT IF you work really hard from now on??? How good will you be at 38? 43? 50? 70??? Pretty good, right??? 

 

On 6/14/2020 at 10:24 AM, Mad Hatter said:

and the host mentioned how much he hates when artists post things on say IG with a disclaimer - this is unfinished, it's not very good, it's just a quick sketch, I'm only playing, only learning. Rather than just saying hey this is the best I can do right now, I hope you like it, and leave it at that. I... need to practice that. 🙂

 

 

Why you gotta call me out like that? :P Actually it's a good reminder, thanks. 

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23 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

That's a very valid concern. And I have thought about it. A lot. I've even talked to my parents about this, and about boundaries.

 

Actually it might be a better place to start from, because you're aware of the need for boundaries. Whereas sometimes you start with good friends and you're all excited, and those boundaries are not necessarily clear and it goes all messy and wrong and painful :P

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On 6/14/2020 at 7:24 PM, Mad Hatter said:

It's funny you say low self-confidence. It's true that I say that I suck, but my bar is professional level work.

 

There is ambition and then there is self-confidence. They are not always on the same level 😛

 

On 6/14/2020 at 7:24 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Incidentally I was listening to an art podcast and the host mentioned how much he hates when artists post things on say IG with a disclaimer - this is unfinished, it's not very good, it's just a quick sketch, I'm only playing, only learning. Rather than just saying hey this is the best I can do right now, I hope you like it, and leave it at that. I... need to practice that. 

 

I had an aerial teacher (also a strong professional artist) who would often say: never apologize for your art. And it's not a motto easy to stand by! (you may also argue against it for some pieces of art :P ) But it's true that I can often see a pattern where there is this gap in my head about what I want and what actually is, which I'd evaluate as crap pretty quickly :D But I try to keep what she said in mind. I'd say it's "work in progress", which at least is somewhat factual and not derogatory.

 

And sometimes it makes me realise that I can already do stuff with what I have, that maybe there is something odd about always wanting skills that I don't have... it's a good excuse not to own my stuff,  it's never going to be good enough somehow. This is not a helpful mental habit imo. Not that I should go the other way around and be proud of everything I produce because that's not realistic either... but you get the idea.

 

And the funny thing is that sometimes things I want in my mind are things I have seen other people do, but that's not necessarily what is the most interesting in what I can produce "artistically". Sometimes it's a just a shiny, still worth chasing and having fun during the chase :D, but it's not necessarily where the artistic or creative bit lies. That interesting bit we all have it and we can all develop it, and it doesn't necessarily require a crazy amount of technical skill to do so. Sometimes chasing what it "should" be like prevents us from looking into what it really is. And you can spend 20 years working the should and still not get what it really is.

 

 

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On 6/15/2020 at 1:01 PM, analoggirl said:

And this unrelated one:

 

 

I'm not sure what I just watched but I like it. 😆

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On 6/15/2020 at 1:10 PM, KB Girl said:

As a business owner with somewhat similar problems I can tell you that it's very far from ideal... but that doesn't mean it won't work out. My business would definitely be loads better if i could organise things better.. but.. it's running. I've lost clients because of my mood swings, especially because they make me stop replying for days.. but i've found enough that stick with me even through that. And i've learned to break the "oh i havent called this person in days i cant handle doing it now and its going to get worse and worse" faster.. which are the type of things you'll only learn when you are in the middle of it you know? (and lets not mention that person ive not contacted in the last 4 months, okay?) I just try to make up for all the mess in the periods that i'm super productive and try to work ahead or set up things that will make things a bit less bad when i fall away from the face of the earth again for a bit. 

All this to say; go for it. You'll learn and get better at the things you absolutely need to as you go, and you'll learn to work around things, and you'll crash and burn and make mistakes and lose opportunities, but whatever, it'll balance out. 

 

I hope that was somewhat more hopeful than depressing? :D

It was, thanks! :D Maybe the better focus then is to figure out how to be productive when I can and in what ways I can work in advance. 

 

23 hours ago, zenLara said:

Your day sounded great! Hope for more of those coming soon!

Thanks!

 

20 hours ago, raptron said:

Thanks for sharing all of your recent reflections. Hating your job is such a hard place to be in, especially when you don't know what direction to go toward instead and are kind of trapped by circumstance (as SO MANY PEOPLE are right now, yeesh). Mistress of Science would be delightful. Best of luck helping out with your dad's business, though! Working with family always sounds incredibly tricky to me, but it could be a cool thing to pursue!

 

IT IS A TOUGH SKILL TO LEARN. 

My enthusiasm concerning my career have been dwindling for a long time, but lockdown has for sure exacerbated the negative thoughts, as I'm sure it has for many people. Before I at least had the social aspect and cookie baking. Now there's only the work... 

Incredibly tricky is mildly put. :D 

 

Fake it 'til you make it, right? ;) 

 

19 hours ago, Harriet said:

It's okay to mourn for lost time. BUT WHAT IF you work really hard from now on??? How good will you be at 38? 43? 50? 70??? Pretty good, right??? 

 

Why you gotta call me out like that? :P Actually it's a good reminder, thanks. 

I hope so! :D 

 

Hahaha sorry not sorry. :P 

 

12 hours ago, @mu said:

Actually it might be a better place to start from, because you're aware of the need for boundaries. Whereas sometimes you start with good friends and you're all excited, and those boundaries are not necessarily clear and it goes all messy and wrong and painful :P

True! 

 

11 hours ago, @mu said:

There is ambition and then there is self-confidence. They are not always on the same level 😛

 

I had an aerial teacher (also a strong professional artist) who would often say: never apologize for your art. And it's not a motto easy to stand by! (you may also argue against it for some pieces of art :P ) But it's true that I can often see a pattern where there is this gap in my head about what I want and what actually is, which I'd evaluate as crap pretty quickly :D But I try to keep what she said in mind. I'd say it's "work in progress", which at least is somewhat factual and not derogatory.

 

And sometimes it makes me realise that I can already do stuff with what I have, that maybe there is something odd about always wanting skills that I don't have... it's a good excuse not to own my stuff,  it's never going to be good enough somehow. This is not a helpful mental habit imo. Not that I should go the other way around and be proud of everything I produce because that's not realistic either... but you get the idea.

 

And the funny thing is that sometimes things I want in my mind are things I have seen other people do, but that's not necessarily what is the most interesting in what I can produce "artistically". Sometimes it's a just a shiny, still worth chasing and having fun during the chase :D, but it's not necessarily where the artistic or creative bit lies. That interesting bit we all have it and we can all develop it, and it doesn't necessarily require a crazy amount of technical skill to do so. Sometimes chasing what it "should" be like prevents us from looking into what it really is. And you can spend 20 years working the should and still not get what it really is.

Heh true true.

 

I'd still argue that saying it's a WIP is another excuse. Well unless it is actually a WIP. E.g. if I'm planning a painting and posting a sketch, then yes that sketch is a work in progress. But if I post the finished painting, then that is the final outcome, like it or nor. Sure, you could argue that learning will always be a work in progress, and that every painting is "just another attempt". And it'd be true on a higher level, but when used on the finishing painting it's still a type of excuse. And if you believe that learning is always a work in progress, then adding a disclaimer is just superfluous.

 

Yeah, I agree. It's a tricky balance.

 

This is so true, and I have definitely fallen into that trap! In visual arts there are plenty of people who create very interesting work with very little, e.g. web comics where the characters are glorified stick figures. Or even actual stick figures. If we talk about physical activities like circus/handstands then it's not very surprising that people stick to the shiny chasing and ignore the creative part considering there are extremely few, if any, examples of people being creative at lower levels of hand balancing. That's why it's so cool that you're doing the puppet thing! It really shows that you don't need to wait until you have advanced OAHSs to create something new.

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9 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

And if you believe that learning is always a work in progress, then adding a disclaimer is just superfluous.

Ohhh snap :)

 

Ok ok today is Hatter calls us all out day

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5 minutes ago, analoggirl said:

Ohhh snap :)

 

Ok ok today is Hatter calls us all out day

Hahah that was not my intention. 😂

 

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