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NeverThatBored

NeverThatBored: Be Still

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Hi All,

 

Pandemic aside, I'm dealing with a lot of life challenges right now. I'm at a bit of a crossroads and I have to decide what I'm doing next, but I have no idea what path to take. 

 

I haven't done a challenge in a few months, and with everything going on, a visit to the druids feels like the right fit right now.

 

I want to be back here and do a challenge, but I struggled to figure out what to do for goals. Setting SMART goals feels irrelevant. 

 

I've found myself gravitating to self help/memoir type books more and more lately. I highlight quotes as I read that feel relevant to me, but then I never do anything with them. So if I don't have anything else that feels right for a challenge right now, maybe I can focus on that. Keeping those front and center and giving myself time to keep reacting to them. I'll take quotes and share them regularly, though probably not every day. I'll either do some journaling on my own or share some reactions here. 

 

I think the best thing I can do right now is make sure I'm taking time to be still and listen.

 

To myself.

 

To what I need to do to feel good day by day.

 

To what resonates, and what doesn't. 

 

To what's working, and what isn't.

 

And it's vague - but to support this I want to take actions that clear space for me to be still. That might be as simple as going for a walk by myself. It might be doing some stretching. It might be choosing NOT to do a distracting activity. It might be restarting my meditation practice. IDK. And I'll report on what those things are and what they look like as they take shape.

 

"If I am willing to sit in the stillness with myself, I always know what to do. That the answers are never out there. They are as close as my breath and as steady as my heartbeat. All I have to do is stop flailing, sink below the surface, and feel for the nudge and the gold. Then I have to trust it, not matter how illogical or scary the next right thing seems." - Glennon Doyle

 

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Hello and welcome! 

 

Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to listen. We all need a little more of that nowadays! 

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I'm feeling your confusion. It's not easy.

I hope you find a guiding practice of some kind to support your next step(s).

Following!

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Seconding (thirding?) what was said above :)

 

A "smart"-ish goal that is also nice and vague & came to mind: maybe "check in on your challenge thread 2 times a week"?

Maybe along with something similar to @darkfoxx "What did I learn today?" with a few words about your books, if you feel like sharing.

 

Only if (one of) those resonate. :)  Either way, well done with identifying what you need atm!

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On 5/8/2020 at 1:45 PM, NeverThatBored said:

I want to be back here and do a challenge, but I struggled to figure out what to do for goals. Setting SMART goals feels irrelevant. 

 

 

Then don't do it. Do something else that works better for you instead. That's what this whole rebellion thing is all about anyway. :) 

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“Discontent is the nagging of the imagination. Discontent is evidence that your imagination has not given up on you. It is still pressing, swelling, trying to get your attention by whispering: “Not this.” “Not this” is a very important stage.” - Glennon Doyle, Untamed

 

My bf snarled at me the other day about how I need to figure out what I'm doing because there's not much time. I am figuring it out, damnit. 

 

I did some journaling about this quote and a few other sentences I highlighted. Basically, I have to transition from the "not this" stage to the next stage, whatever that ends up being. I'm trying to use my discontent like a metal detector to chart my path forward. How does my heart react to my various options? What whispers "not this" vs. what sparks some joy?

 

Kind of corny sounding, but it is what it is. And it's something I have to sit with for a bit. 

 

Anyway, I'm not sure if it's because of this challenge or a bunch of other little things, but I feel like I've had a good couple of days with stuff that might have made up a challenge if I hadn't decided to do this instead. I spent extra time outside, called my mom, reached out to several friends, did a bunch of chores, did some life planning, started reading a book I've been meaning to read for work for ages, did some pullup work for the first time in a while, and did a bunch of mobility work. Good stuff. 

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I hear you! and I think its good to not fall into new action kinda blindly because you are still confused just so you are moving forward. Take your time. You Go! ❤️

 

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32 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

Anyway, I'm not sure if it's because of this challenge or a bunch of other little things, but I feel like I've had a good couple of days with stuff that might have made up a challenge if I hadn't decided to do this instead.

 

This happens to me all the time. I think it's a side effect of our challenges.... when we feel better in general, we have more energy to do all these little things. :) .

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I looked through some more saved quotes and did some journaling yesterday. I didn't pick a goal for days/week of that and I don't intend to, but 2x/week is probably just fine. 

 

Quotes from The Year of No Nonsense: 

  • But if we feel suffering, then we are suffering. We have to work to not suffer—that may be our current Truth. See it. Don’t look away.

  • We need to be a stand-alone person, firing on all (or most) cylinders, before we can be anything valuable to anyone else.

I've continued doing well on random little things. I've been going on bike rides lately after struggling to get myself to work on my bike skills for years. I've been working on some running cautiously with permission from my physical therapist, even though I can't go to PT right now. I signed up for GMB mobility a few weeks ago, which calls for 3x/week sessions, and I've been struggling to actually do three sessions, but this past week I did it. 

 

I'm not sure how well I'm actually doing in terms of taking time to listen to myself, and I can't help but think that doing tons of activities is just another form of distracting myself from my feelings. But I've made some incremental progress on figuring out what I'm doing, so maybe it's ok to do both. Today I started hyperventilating or at least panicking a bit and I dealt with it by going outside and walking and listening to nature until my chest unclenched. 

 

It's something. 

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Incremental progress is progress, and really that's how the majority of people make progress. Good for you for going for a walk, glad it helped

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