Tourennatrix has... "Free... time..."? What the...

[tourennatrix]

YOU GUYS. As of right now I have completed my last clinical and wrapped up all assignments. All I have left is to study and take my final exit exam and a mock board exam, and do a little housekeeping, and I should be completely finished with school on Monday. "Graduation" is on the 14th, and I have scheduled for a friend to come over and give me a graduation massage, and I'm trying to arrange for my classmates to play some Jackbox games in lieu of a graduation ceremony. 

 

Hell. Yes.

 

And then I find myself in the (obscenely privileged) position of having no job and getting more money than I have probably ever gotten due to some really interesting choices by the government, but y'no what I'm just going to keep my mouth shut, sit on it, and be grateful that I have some cushion for my upcoming job hunt. On the flipside of this extreme privilege, I have (as does everyone) extreme uncertainty. I am working on the assumption that my board exam will be scheduled for the beginning of July, and as such, that will be when I get my license, and I need to have a job lined up to start as soon as I am licensed. However, the previous testing date (in April) was postponed and I don't believe it has been rescheduled, so I'm not sure if the July exam will be delayed, AND as part of the licensing process we need to have a background check and nowhere in the area is taking fingerprints at this time. Yay uncertainty!

 

THEREFORE,

After graduation, I have 2 months to study for my board exam, and entirely too much unstructured free time. 

 

This may get more structured after this final week of school, but here is a small brain dump of what I'd like to do in the coming weeks/months:

Food

- With extra free time, this will be a good time to practice making meals so that when I get busy again I will have a muscle memory for them and won't take 2 hours to make a half hour meal.

- Also working to be flexible with the ingredients I have available

- As above, working around shortages in certain food groups. (The U.S. is encountering a meat shortage due to Covid outbreaks in meat packing plants and my heart breaks because so many animals are being euthanized because they have nowhere to be processed. And here in the Midwest, there are people who would happily buy an animal that would be otherwise 'wasted' but local meat lockers are overloaded and can't do the butchering. My. Heart. Breaks.)

- Overall just avoiding the junk snacks I've been having the last couple months and get back to clean eating.

 

Cleaning

- My room is in dire need of decluttering, reorganizing, and cleaning

- So is my car. I was going to get it detailed as a 'birthday' present when it went over 200,000 miles, but I was broke then and now I have time to do it myself.

 

Mental clarity/anxiety stuff

- I wanna go outside. Whether it's a walk in the neighborhood, a hike in the park, a bike ride to get groceries

- Morning (and evening?) brief yoga/stretching/meditation

- Don't feel guilty about "losing" the occasional entire day to video games. It's been years since that has even been an option.

- Schedule certain events (but not all) such as study time to give an illusion of structure to this weird world

- Now that I'm not working with the immunocompromised... maybe socialize in person with one or two other friends who also don't hang out with other people much? I don't know the etiquette on this but I wanna be in the same room as someone other than my 2 roommates uuuggghh.

- Play music?!

- Get dressed.

 

Dedicated movement

- Failproof an exercise routine. The playground equipment is still off limits here, but I have (some) space in the house, I can walk the neighborhood, I can create a DIY suspension trainer for my room, etc. As Adrienne of Yoga with Adrienne says: Find what feels good (and then stick with it)

 

Professional Development

- Apply for the actual board exam

- Use the study materials I have access to so that I can rock the board exam. (lol jk there's no such thing as rocking the board exam. everyone I've talked to says you walk away from the garden completely unable to tell if you passed or fail trololol it's gonna be great.)

 

Yeah, more structure on all that to come XD

[tourennatrix]

I HAVE FINISHED THE SCHOOL aside from the little paperwork things i have to do on monday but all the tests are done woo

[WhiteGhost]

7 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

I HAVE FINISHED THE SCHOOL

Congratulations!

 

Good luck in finding some structure with all your free time    

[Mad Hatter]

CONGRATS WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! Super awesome well done that's huge.

[Manarelle]

16 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

I HAVE FINISHED THE SCHOOL aside from the little paperwork things i have to do on monday but all the tests are done woo

 

Woot, congrats! Uncertainty is a good time to focus on what you can do, and you seem to be nailing that. Following, you've got this.

[Renate]

What has already been said. Excited for your MAJOR win & You've got this!

[tourennatrix]

Alrighty, I've signed up for the study program and so I have a little more of an idea of what I'm getting myself into! Now for some more concrete NF style goals!

 

🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks.

-> Week One: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad.

🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout.

-> Week one: set up for success with a workout setting and "equipment"

📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room.

-> Week one: register for board exam.

🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks...

->  Week one: develop a morning routine that will be minimally impacted by roomies.

 

Week one go!

[tourennatrix]

Heyoooo

[Manarelle]

Yay undercuts! I finally got one about 2 years ago and went "why didn't I do this earlier??" 

 

Solid week 1 goals, too. I'm baffled by the thought of leftovers going bad. It's healthy food that you don't have to take time to prepare, what's not to like?

[tourennatrix]

1 hour ago, Manarelle said:

I'm baffled by the thought of leftovers going bad. It's healthy food that you don't have to take time to prepare, what's not to like?

It's a 2-part issue for me. Part 1 is texture and repetitive meals. Reheating food often makes veggies too mushy or rice too crunchy or some other texture thing, and if I end up with 3 servings instead of 2, I have a really hard time getting excited about that 3rd serving (in general, this is not a rule across the board obvs). Part 2 is more of an anxiety thing where I snack so I don't have to "make" dinner, and/or I'm too anxious and don't want to spend any time in the kitchen/around my roommates. 

Hoping that the combination of increased free time, reduced school stress, more time to get excited about cooking, etc etc will all make this part go smoother.

 

(Disclaimer: I definitely complain about how "it's hard to sleep when my roommates make a racket" or "I get anxious to be around them" but really, I'm grateful to have them because otherwise I would be all by my lonesome a lot and that would suck too)

[Manarelle]

23 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

It's a 2-part issue for me. Part 1 is texture and repetitive meals. Reheating food often makes veggies too mushy or rice too crunchy or some other texture thing, and if I end up with 3 servings instead of 2, I have a really hard time getting excited about that 3rd serving (in general, this is not a rule across the board obvs). Part 2 is more of an anxiety thing where I snack so I don't have to "make" dinner, and/or I'm too anxious and don't want to spend any time in the kitchen/around my roommates. 

Hoping that the combination of increased free time, reduced school stress, more time to get excited about cooking, etc etc will all make this part go smoother.

 

(Disclaimer: I definitely complain about how "it's hard to sleep when my roommates make a racket" or "I get anxious to be around them" but really, I'm grateful to have them because otherwise I would be all by my lonesome a lot and that would suck too)

 

Ah, yeah, that's a good point. Texture is an integral part of taste, so I get you there. Hopefully, as you say, having more time will make that go more smoothly.

 

And I definitely hear you on getting annoyed by people you're still grateful to have around. Brains are weird sometimes.

[tourennatrix]

This week has been... relaxing? Is that what this feeling is? lol

 

I've been riding my bike when I need to go places whenever possible, which makes trips to the grocery store rather curated. Even still, I managed to splurge and get an 8-pack of flavored carbonated water which is perhaps an unnecessary expense and I'm still getting used to the flavor, but it's kindof a refreshing treat that might help me not get too bored with just drinking water all the time. 

Speaking of drinking water, yesterday I got a massage and spent the rest of the day chugging water and sleeping and oh my lord do I feel amazing. [Note: I am super grumpy about my state reopening things way too fast, but I have connections when it comes to massage, and the guy I went to (my capoeira instructor who I haven't seen since before the country shut down) just set up a studio out at his place and I was the first one he's worked on in months so I think we were both super happy. We were also both wearing masks, which almost seems silly given the activity, but we at least weren't breathing/sneezing/coughing at each other.]

I've started my study program, but haven't been very diligent with it yet. Which, ok whatever it's my first week, but my goal was literally only 2 hours per day. Surely I can pick up the pace soon XD
(Oh and yesterday I signed up to take the board exam, and today I got my authorization to test so I could pick my testing center and reserve my seat. As of now, barring any pandemic related shenanigans, I will be testing on July 8!)

As I mentioned earlier, I'm biking whenever possible to run errands. Aside from that, I haven't done much 'activity' but today I did bust out something akin to a bodyweight workout. Baby steps.

Food is also hit-or-miss. I made sheet pan fajitas and managed to eat it all even though it had 2 servings of leftovers, go me. and today I actually cooked breakfast. One day this week my roommate made breakfast, and the other days I either just had a yogurt, or slept until noon... 

 

All in all, things are going, ok, which (I struggle to say) is a good start XD

[Manarelle]

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

(Oh and yesterday I signed up to take the board exam, and today I got my authorization to test so I could pick my testing center and reserve my seat. As of now, barring any pandemic related shenanigans, I will be testing on July 8!)

 

 

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

All in all, things are going, ok, which (I struggle to say) is a good start XD

 

Haha, proud of you for this. It is a good start, you've got this. 

[raptron]

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

This week has been... relaxing? Is that what this feeling is? lol

Hahaha, amazing.

 

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

(Oh and yesterday I signed up to take the board exam, and today I got my authorization to test so I could pick my testing center and reserve my seat. As of now, barring any pandemic related shenanigans, I will be testing on July 8!)

Woo, gl!

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

Food is also hit-or-miss. I made sheet pan fajitas and managed to eat it all even though it had 2 servings of leftovers, go me. and today I actually cooked breakfast. 

Yum! 

On 5/15/2020 at 4:18 PM, tourennatrix said:

All in all, things are going, ok, which (I struggle to say) is a good start XD

It SURE IS. 

[tourennatrix]

oofadoofa Lets do a brief week 1 review a couple days late shall we? Cool. 

 

🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks.

-> Week One: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad.

X: I had a couple yogurt breakfasts, and one egg breakfast, and Made one dinner meal that lasted for three meals and didn't get thrown out. I have some used-to-be-fresh veggies left that I need to inspect before my next grocery run.

 

🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout.

-> Week one: set up for success with a workout setting and "equipment"

X: I did not get every day, but I think I went for a bike ride 3 times, and did an exercise one day and a yoga on sunday. I don't have what I would say is a batcave setup, but I am trying to keep a space on my bedroom floor clean so I have some space. I have some supplies in the mail to make a DIY TRX thing to use over my door.

 

📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room.

-> Week one: register for board exam.

X: Well. I registered for the board exam. Hah! I managed only 5 hours of actual study time. A big part of this I think was just that it was 'celebrate and relax' week. I'll take it and endeavor to improve on it. 

 

🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks...

->  Week one: develop a morning routine that will be minimally impacted by roomies.

X: Morning routine is still in the works, but we're getting there. Other good mental health things: I started reading a fiction book at bedtime to wind down, I got my undercut, I got a massage, I let myself sleep in (and attempted at least to not be too judgy about it), I have gotten dressed most days, and I visited a friend and made plans to find a minimally dangerous way of sharing an oculus headset so we can play beatsaber together again

 

[tourennatrix]

 

Yesterday I slept until noon, went out to donate blood, came home and slept from 4 to 6, and was in bed again by 10:30. I'm learning that when I take medications that make me drowsy, I have no choice but to comply. I feel kinda like the middle pupper XD

 

Lets look at Week Two:

🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks.

-> Week Two: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad. (samesies)

🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout.

-> Week Two: Make suspension trainer and establish a basic full-body workout

📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room.

-> Week Two: Organize resume materials and review interview questions. (and try to not hyperventilate)

🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks...

->  Week Two: develop a morning routine that will be minimally impacted by roomies. LIMIT SCREEN TIME.

 

Trying to figure out the screentime one... I know it will be beneficial to limit my time, because I have a lot of things I'd like to do (including cleaning/reorganizing/purging things from my room) that I forget to do because I block out everything around me when I focus on the computer. But I also don't want to feel like I have to cut myself off when I'm thoroughly enjoying something - a video game or catching up on Critical Role. The real problems arise when I find myself scrolling through facebook or the youtube homepage. So I think maybe...

-> Computer off at 9pm, and build awareness to cut myself off when I get into 'scrolling mode'- monitors off, phone down, pick something else to do.

 

That should do it. Now to shake off the rest of the sleepies and get something productive done today XD

[tourennatrix]

Ok wow hi I exist.

 

This was an interesting (emotional) week, and a few days just kinda... vanished on me. I took some stuff to help me sleep on Sunday night, so Monday involved sleeping in until noon, donating blood, napping from 4-6, and then being back in bed by 9. Tuesday I was rested and actually did some studying! Wednesday I was drowsy again and slept late and felt less ok about it, but tried to not be too hard on myself. Thursday I was a rockstar and did a lot of room cleaning (there's still lots to go)... Until I found a few photos of my former husband and I from when we were dating, and a mix CD he made for me... And then (slightly related) Friday I laid in bed until 5pm because nothing was worth the effort of getting up. 

Isn't depression GRAND

I did have the honor of an extra phone call with my therapist on Friday so that was nice.

 

As far as NF goals though, Not much happened. Ah well, it's been a lot to process this week. 

 

Lets look at Week Two:

🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks.

-> Week Two: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad. (samesies)

X: Surprisingly enough, I did manage to make eggs for breakfast a day or 2 this week. And probably the gold star here goes to the buttered spaghetti that was made after I finally got up on Friday.

🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout.

-> Week Two: Make suspension trainer and establish a basic full-body workout

X: I have the materials to make the suspension trainer. I have done zero workouts, but I did manage a bike ride to the farmer's market on Saturday, and a dog walk today.

📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room.

-> Week Two: Organize resume materials and review interview questions. (and try to not hyperventilate)
X: I did get a few hours of studying in on Tuesday, including some anatomy coloring book which is a nice relief from boring quizzes and reviews. Today I added some info to my resume and uploaded it to Indeed. There's a position open that I'm trying to psych myself up to apply for. This may happen soon.

🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks...

->  Week Two: develop a morning routine that will be minimally impacted by roomies. LIMIT SCREEN TIME.

X: Screen time pretty well resolved. I was pretty easily able to recognize when I was just scrolling because I was bored or anxious and to put it down. Morning routine is obviously still not a thing, but an evening routine is in the works since I've put together some homemade face wash last night.

 

Trying again for Week Three:

🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks.

-> Week Three: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad. (samesies)

🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout.

-> Week Three: Make suspension trainer and establish a basic full-body workout (samesies)

📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room.

-> Week Three: Review interview questions, apply for one job.

🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks...

->  Week Three: Continue limiting screen time. Focus on evening routine to set up for morning success.

 

Here's hoping for a smoother week ❤️

[Mad Hatter]

11 hours ago, tourennatrix said:

Here's hoping for a smoother week ❤️

Fingers crossed! ❤️

[tourennatrix]

I spent the morning writing a cover letter and I submitted a job application and now I think I'm gonna go hyperventilate and pass out

 

[Manarelle]

On 5/25/2020 at 3:13 PM, tourennatrix said:

I spent the morning writing a cover letter and I submitted a job application and now I think I'm gonna go hyperventilate and pass out

 

 

Sorry to hear the depression bug got you. Looks like you still got some stuff done though, and definitely making progress on the screen time goal. Here's to this week being better for you. /hugs

[raptron]

On 5/25/2020 at 3:13 PM, tourennatrix said:

I spent the morning writing a cover letter and I submitted a job application and now I think I'm gonna go hyperventilate and pass out

 

YAYAAYAYAAY JOB APPS