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Terinatum

Terinatum Tiptoes Along

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Hey All,

 

Wow, long time.

 

Thanks to Love_of_Snuggles and Fearless 2.0 for bringing up NF recently. I really think this is good timing. I have been alone in my travels for years now and it's time to reach out and be a part of a community again. I can't imagine a better place than NF for such a place.

 

Okay, theme is: Slow and Steady,  fuck the race.

I have spent decades trying to get to a good place and then be healed. HA! Doesn't work like that in life. So I'm trying a new approach. Not being a victim. I have PTSD from childhood and am now 54. I am just now being an adult in regards to taking responsibility for the whole of my mental health. I have come a long way so far to be sure, but laying down the crown of Victim is no easy thing. It's how I survived this long. And surviving was all I cared about as a kid. I didn't realize how much it would restrict my life as an adult.

So staying conscious of when I use old 'unhelpful' traits and habits is the overall goal for the foreseeable future. This means be truthful with myself, my therapist, and you all here.

 

My first goal is to check in here each day: 1 update post and 5+ reactions to other people's posts (these I take seriously so no quick click and off I go).

My second goal is to do my exercise walk each day: at least as far as I'm going now and hopefully, but not required this time, longer.

My third goal is to meditate for 10 minutes each day: I can use a vid, music, or PT exercises to accomplish this task.

My forth goal is to reach out to people IRL via texts, zoom, and phone: I think for 4 weeks, I want to be able to do this twice a week (gaming not included).

 

In order to succeed in this challenge, I need to accomplish an average of ~75% of each of my goals.

 

Okay, well this is weird, but familiar! Have a great challenge everyone!

 

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Wow, your goals are eerily similar to mine. I am now obligated to follow this thread! 

 

Hi and welcome. Nice to meet you.

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3 hours ago, Scalyfreak said:

Wow, your goals are eerily similar to mine. I am now obligated to follow this thread! 

 

Hi and welcome. Nice to meet you.

 

I know, right?
Nice to meet you too.

Stay strong and NF on!

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21 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

YAY, SHES BACK!!! I really like your goals and am happy to be doing a challenge with you again! :)

 

 

Thanks Darling! Glad I'm here with you.

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6 minutes ago, Terinatum said:

"Khajiit Assassin in Training"

So? From a game?

 

Playable race of cat people in the Elder Scrolls games. :) 

 

250?cb=20120124104239

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4 minutes ago, Scalyfreak said:

 

Playable race of cat people in the Elder Scrolls games. :) 

 

250?cb=20120124104239

Ah, that makes sense. She's a true Scrolls fan.

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UPDATE:

Day 1             Sunday

 

GOALS

My first goal is to check in here each day: yuppers, and posted a few things as well as emojis. Felt good to interact with new and old pals.

 

My second goal is to do my exercise walk each day: I did this just now. Evenings help me sleep better. I did go a bit further and glad I did. I ran into a bunch of squirrels, a chipmunk, birds galore, and a woodchuck. I am changing my route (not distance really) to include this part of the bike path. Yay.

 

My third goal is to meditate for 10 minutes each day: I did some, but not 10 mins. I did it after the walk while doing a SMALL amount of PT and included some chi energy work. My dan tein says thank you.

 

My forth goal is to reach out to people IRL via texts, zoom, and phone: nothing really - just responded to my ex on text about mother's day, but she initiated it so doesn't count.

 

Overall:

Today was quite nice. Typing is really bad though, I can tell how long it's been since I did any writing! hehe

I worked on my Pathfinder (like D&D, but free) character a lot today as he just leveled up to 4th. And I played Brain It On and Smart Puzzles on my phone, very addicting to my visual and physics-loving (not necessarily that good) mind! 

Mood was steady today so I'm very thankful for that.

                          "Thanks, Self!! You're welcome, of course"

 

Okay, until tomorrow. Cheers,

Teri

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How do you do your meditation, guided or just sitting quietly?  I'm trying to build a practice myself, so I'm curious what other people do.  Expanding my sense of the possible, don't you know.

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29 minutes ago, Zaphine said:

How do you do your meditation, guided or just sitting quietly?  I'm trying to build a practice myself, so I'm curious what other people do.  Expanding my sense of the possible, don't you know.

 

I have to lay down (back and neck degeneration issues). I use a wedge to keep my knees up a bit and have a thick yoga mat under me [I'd like to get a grounding mat but haven't yet]. 

I do deep breathing at first; around 2 mins or so. While doing this, I find it helpful to say to myself, "I'm breathing in. I'm breathing out." While actually doing those things. It helps keep thoughts from sticking in my mind.

Then, I focus on a part of my body that feels like it is numb or sore. I breathe into that area, then focus on tensing and releasing each muscle group from feet to face.

I often will have lavender incense burning and maybe some music (no lyrics).

Then I let my mind wander, but I don't let it settle on anything too long. Just long enough to sense what emotion is attached to the thought if any. I let this go as far as I can. When I feel like I'm too distracted, I finish up with healing.

If I have a need to heal myself with chi energy, I bring in chi and disperse it to my dan tein and then to parts of my body.

I finish with more deep breathing and then slowly open my eyes and reacquaint myself with my surroundings before moving (back and neck demand it! hehe).

Better more than not enough?!

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Your back!   

 

(I don't actually recall anything wrong with your back :P )

 

What I meant was You're Back!  So great to see you again, hope things are going better for you than last time we spoke :) 

  • That's Metal 1

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How cool you get to walk on trails! Also I really like your meditation setup! will copy that. Right now I meditate on the sofa sitting crosslegged and I think its so nice to lie down during breathing. :)

 

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10 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Your back!   

 

(I don't actually recall anything wrong with your back :P )

 

What I meant was You're Back!  So great to see you again, hope things are going better for you than last time we spoke :) 

 

Hey WG! How the hell are you?

Things are a lot better than that time. Thanks for stoppin' by. How's kicks?

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2 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

Hello and welcome back! 

 

Thanks darkfoxx. It's been a long time but I think this is a great time for me to get back into the swing.

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How r u today, dear? Im up super early because of pain and waiting for the meds to work... always a great time to browse here... can't wait for Thursday when I get a better painkiller. I discovered I have a nightingale in my garden and that little bird voice makes me so happy! Have a great day and see you here later.. 

ast-blumen-kirschblute-34435.jpg

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13 hours ago, Terinatum said:

 

Hey WG! How the hell are you?

Things are a lot better than that time. Thanks for stoppin' by. How's kicks?

Still plugging along, doing better than I was in Feb/March, though.  Those were some tough months.

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1 hour ago, fearless 2.0 said:

How r u today, dear? Im up super early because of pain and waiting for the meds to work... always a great time to browse here... can't wait for Thursday when I get a better painkiller. I discovered I have a nightingale in my garden and that little bird voice makes me so happy! Have a great day and see you here later.. 

ast-blumen-kirschblute-34435.jpg

 

This is so beautiful. Thank you.

I didn't sleep last night so I'm a bit wobbly today, but alright none the less.

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UPDATE

 

Day 2          Monday

 

GOALS

My first goal is to check in here each day: yuppers.

 

My second goal is to do my exercise walk each day: Yup. It was cold and snowy, but I did it. Hence, only 1 lone bird was out with me.

 

My third goal is to meditate for 10 minutes each day: I didn't do it today, but I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer. I had therapy and my homework is to take notes on feelings and emotional states when I recognize when a red flag goes up inside me. I don't have to solve it or do anything about it. I am pretty used to recognizing them when they are raised, but I usually just plod along. So this is the next tiny step.

 

My forth goal is to reach out to people IRL via texts, zoom, and phone: I didn't initiate any contact today.

 

Overall:

Last night I didn't sleep. I realized that between too much carbs (not candy or Dr P thankfully), starting a new challenge here, and to a slight degree Mother's Day I went into Rebellion mode. It started Sunday morning when I made myself no eat even though I was clearly hungry.

So therapy was well-timed. I took a nap and now hoping to sleep some tonight but not making any demands on my emotional Parts and my body.

 

Cheers,

Teri

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UPDATE

 

Day 3       Tuesday

 

GOALS

My first goal is to check in here each day: yuppers, but just barely as I'm gonna do it right after this post.

 

My second goal is to do my exercise walk each day: Yup. I even met up with a friend.

 

My third goal is to meditate for 10 minutes each day: I didn't do it today, but I listened to several Eckhart Tolle vids. Doesn't really count but I'm getting closer, I think.

 

My forth goal is to reach out to people IRL via texts, zoom, and phone: I didn't initiate any contact today.

 

Overall:

It's been a pretty decent day. I didn't eat a lot but I didn't starve myself like I did on Sunday, so yay!

Did a LOT of character work in order to get up and running on Roll20.

I took an extra walk around the block x2 when I realized just how long I'd been sitting. I have a hip issue atm that gets really pissed off when I sit for any real length of time. It works its way out when I walk though, which is awesome! Keeps the oxy pills in the bottle!

 

Take care and Cheers,

Teri

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16 hours ago, Terinatum said:

. I even met up with a friend.

I think this counts for goal four, actually.

Welcome back, friend.

❣️

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