WolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth

[WolfDreamer]

 

I have been wrestling with the urge to read the LotR series again, so what better way to motivate me than to theme my challenge after LotR. I could use some inspiration and heart from some of Tolkien's heroes. As this challenge progresses, I will no doubt be channeling some of the traits of some of my favorites, specifically the race of Men because I find myself identifying most closely with Tolkien's human characters. . Lately, some... temptations have arisen, so it is also fitting to work through a challenge that themes these temptations as the pull of The One Ring. 

 

And so it begins.

 

Goal 1: Resist The One Ring

 

"Not if I found it on the highway would I take it I said. Even if I were such a man as to desire this thing, and even though I knew not clearly what this thing was when I spoke, still I should take those words as a vow, and be held by them.
‘But I am not such a man. Or I am wise enough to know that there are some perils from which a man must flee." -- Faramir

 

For this goal, I will be channeling Faramir, who is without a doubt my favorite of the characters who successfully resists The One Ring, even though he had reasons outside of the Dark Lord's power to take it from Frodo. I also identify with Faramir's struggles to make his father proud, to know that he isn't the favored son, and his choice to be peaceful and merciful by nature: “I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”

 

Without getting into specifics, this goal focuses on recognizing when and why these temptations occur: what triggers them and what is the best way to resist them. Faramir's quote above also brings to mind scripture: "But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." -- 1 Timothy 6:11-12

 

• learn about these temptations and what hidden dangers lurk within them 
• set boundaries and barricades against temptations; arm and fortify yourself against the attacks of the enemy
• be brave and stand strong when you can, but have an escape plan
• if you get lost, call out to your fellowship of brothers to help you find the way again
• fast and pray to build discipline
• celebrate victories and milestones, but remain resolute and do not lose your temperance

 

Goal 2: Build Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Heart to Become Who You Were Meant to Be

 

"But I am the real Strider, fortunately. I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by my life or death I can protect you, I will." -- Aragorn

 

For this goal, I will be channeling Aragorn because of his strong heart, his wisdom, and his courage, which grows as he breaks free of the shame of his father and steps into his destined role as heir to the throne of Gondor. Aragorn is aware of his flaws and weaknesses as a man, but he strives to do good by serving others. He faces peril, inspires others into battle, and fights courageously for his fellowship. None of this would be possible if he had allowed himself to get weak or distracted or lose his self-control. He is also faithful to the cause of defeating evil and to the love of his life. He is watchful and alert, wise and intelligent, humble and modest by nature but also mighty and proud when necessary.

 

Some aspects of this goal will look familiar if you have followed me for some time.

 

• awaken before dawn
• pray/meditate/study scripture & other books of wisdom
• fast daily (intermittently)
• eat whole foods (mostly plants)
• drink at least 64 ounces of water daily
• WHM breathing daily (I really need to get back to this; it clears my head and may help stave some of the temptation triggers)
• read at least 30 minutes every day (LotR, of course)
• spend at least 30 minutes every day in nature
• strengthen the body (I'm using Hero's Journey from Darebee for this)
• spend time with my queen; this includes going to bed with her and not staying up late

 

Goal 3: Rebuild Your Heart and Your Kingdom

 

"For he was a gentle heart and a great king and kept his oaths; and he rose out of the shadows to a last fair morning." -- Aragorn, speaking of King Theoden

 

Theoden is a good example of someone who, as he grew older and more tired, allowed himself to become misled and lost sight of his true purpose as king. It corrupted him and led to the usurping of his kingdom by evil forces. Once he is set free of this spell, however, he steps into his role as king and, in spite of the bleak outlook, fights for his people and for the good of all Middle Earth.

 

For this goal, I am both literally and figuratively referring to my "kingdom" (as in my home, my domain)

 

• meditate on/reclaim my purpose as husband and father (as "king")
• spend time with daughters; hug them, play with them, go on adventures with them
• keep my current house in order: clean daily, keep the yard clean and mowed, make necessary repairs
• work on the other house, as well, at least twice per week; be assertive but clearheaded when any obstacles arise

 

And that is it for now. If I think of some other goals, I will add them and try to think of characters that embody those goals, as well.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Using movie gifs but quoting from the books? Be still my heart.

[Sciread77]

*raises warhammer* We will speak no longer counsels of prudence. We will come!

[Ann of Owlshire]

You have my... I don’t know. I don’t know what weapon I’m wielding. But to my fellow Middle Earth Adventurer, I’m here for you. This is a brilliant (and much more thought out than my own) challenge.

[WolfDreamer]

2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Using movie gifs but quoting from the books? Be still my heart.

 

At least I didn't use Lego LotR.

 

 

You're welcome. 😆

 

2 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

*raises warhammer* We will speak no longer counsels of prudence. We will come!

 

When all is in order we will set out

 

23 minutes ago, Ann of Vries said:

You have my... I don’t know. I don’t know what weapon I’m wielding. But to my fellow Middle Earth Adventurer, I’m here for you. This is a brilliant (and much more thought out than my own) challenge.

 

Welcome! I really like your challenge, but I appreciate the compliment. The only reason mine is so well "thought out" is because it is so personal.

[Snarkyfishguts]

You have my whisk!

 

lol.

 

 

i love this challenge. Faramir was my favorite.

[WolfDreamer]

31 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

You have my whisk!

 

Any tool is welcome in my Fellowship.

 

32 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Faramir was my favorite.

 

I am most drawn to Aragorn for similar reasons, I think, that I am drawn to Aslan in the Narnia series. But I most personally identify with Faramir as a character.

[Ann of Owlshire]

7 hours ago, WolfDreamer said:

I am most drawn to Aragorn for similar reasons

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

5 hours ago, Ann of Vries said:

 

I read something somewhere that the men in Tolkien had some of the most wholesome masculinity of 20th century literature.

[WolfDreamer]

11 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I read something somewhere that the men in Tolkien had some of the most wholesome masculinity of 20th century literature.

 

That's an interesting take. And I would agree. I'll have to search for some articles or videos about that.

[Sciread77]

I love Aragorn and Faramir. I always felt for Faramir. 
 

 

[WolfDreamer]

Week 0, Monday:

 

Goal 1:

• listened to a podcast episode about the same issue with which I am struggling
• choosing wisely not to be alone and to be with friends or family as often as possible
• drafted my escape plan in case I slip up
• have been gathering Fellowship members to check up on me and hold me accountable
• fasted from 8:30pm-10:30am; said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer for forgiveness and grace
• three days so far resisting the One Ring

Goal 2:

• up at 5:30am
• said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer for forgiveness and grace
• fasted from 7:30pm-11:30am
• lunch: two hot bologna sandwiches with lettuce and tomato
• dinner: beef pot roast with onions, carrots, and red potatoes
• drank 64 ounces of water
• no WHM breathing; I simply forgot
• listening to a radio adaptation of The Hobbit
• walked barefoot through the field and long the river yesterday
• Day One Level II of Hero's Journey completed: 100 side leg raises, 100 squats, 100 toe tap hops, 100 mountain climbers
• went to bed around 10:30pm to lie with my queen and get some much-needed sleep

Goal 3:

• read an article from Catholic Gentlemen about Tolkien's dedication as a husband and a father
• jumped on the neighbor's trampoline with my two little daughters
• cleaned the yard, mowed the lawn, and carried trash from the porch to the dumpsters
• no work on the other house

WALK TO MORDOR AND BACK PROGRESS:

As a bonus aspect of this challenge, I am also sharing my progress for the 2020 PVP Challenge of walking to Mordor and back again. I entered my miles walked/hiked/ran since I joined the challenge in early January.

 

My journey began in Hobbiton:

 

 and so far has taken me to Rivendell:

 

Lothlorien:

 

... and I am 382.44 miles from Rauros. I shall use an expression I say to my daughters during our hikes and when we are driving: "Every mile is one mile closer."

 

[WolfDreamer]

39 minutes ago, Sciread77 said:

I love Aragorn and Faramir. I always felt for Faramir. 
 

 

 

Same. You and I have spoken of my issues with my father. Although I was his firstborn son, I was unexpected, and at the time he did not truly want a child or to be married to my mother. I know this because he admitted it to me years later. After their divorce, he married the woman with whom he was having an affair and they had a son. This son was expected, and he received most of our father's affection and attention, and I received empty promises and outright neglect from my father. He canceled weekend plans with me to take this son hunting and fishing, rather than inviting me along. They have more in common than my father and I do, even to this day (and unfortunately my brother is following in our father's footsteps in the worst of ways).

[Sciread77]

We have. I’m sad to hear that, especially that your brother seems to be making those same mistakes. 
 

For Frodo!

[WolfDreamer]

Week 0, Tuesday

 

Goal 1:

• read an article about problems involving the issue with which I am struggling
• had some time alone today, but I spent it at the other house painting the doors and the door frames
• reviewed my escape plan just in case
• reached out to one of my Fellowship members to check in
• fasted from 8:30pm-10:30am; said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer for forgiveness and grace
• four days so far resisting the One Ring

Goal 2:

• up at 5:30am
• said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer for forgiveness and grace
• fasted from 8:30pm-10:30am
• lunch: breaded chicken sandwich with cheese
• dinner: meatloaf, baked beans
• snack: peanut butter and sliced banana on wheat bread
• drank 64 ounces of water
• no WHM breathing; I forgot again
• finished listening to a radio adaptation of The Hobbit
• went for a 5 mile barefoot trail run; yes, it was crazy, and yes I am sore
• Day Two Level I of Hero's Journey completed -- 5 sets: 60 high knees and 20 combo jab + jab + cross + squat
• went to bed around 10:30pm to lie with my queen; gave her a foot rub and back rub

Goal 3:

• read a meditation about fatherhood
• spent some time hugging and tickling my two youngest daughters
• did some laundry
• painted the bedroom doors and door frames at the other house

[WolfDreamer]

Week 0, Wednesday

 

Goal 1:

• listened to a podcast about building new habits to help fight addictions
• spent most of the day at home with my wife and daughters, other than taking a few walks around the neighborhood
• reached out to one of my Fellowship members to check in
• fasted from 8:30pm-12:30am; said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer of gratitude
• five days so far resisting the One Ring

Goal 2:

• up at 4:30am
• said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer of gratitude
• sat in stillness and listened to the daily prayer using the Pray As You Go app.
• fasted from 8:30pm-12:30am
• lunch/late breakfast: Kodiak protein pancake topped with slices of bacon with a side of two fried eggs
• dinner: pizza with pepperoni, cheese, spinach, grilled chicken, and mushrooms
• snack: green olives
• drank 64 ounces of water
• three rounds of WHM breathing
• started reading the Prologue to LotR
• walked a few times around my neighborhood
• Day Three of Hero's Journey completed -- weapon practice: selected the hammer as my weapon, so today was 5 sets of 8 bicep curls (I used stones b/c I don't have any dumbbells), 5 bent over rows, and 5 shoulder press
• waiting for my daughter to fall asleep, and then I will be joining my wife in the bed very soon

Goal 3:

• read a blog post about being a godly husband; I especially appreciated the emphasis on Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
• spent some time playing with my youngest daughters
• did some laundry and cleaned an area of the living room
• no work on the other house.

[WolfDreamer]

Week 0, Thursday

 

Goal 1:

• listened to a podcast about spiritual lessons from Tolkien
• spent most of the day with my wife and daughters other than taking a few walks alone around the neighborhood (barefoot, of course)
• reached out to some Fellowship members to check in
• fasted from 7:30pm-9:30am; said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer
• six days so far resisting the One Ring

Goal 2:

• up at 4:30am
• said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer
• fasted from 7:30pm-9:30am
• breakfast: bacon, egg and tomato sandwich on whole wheat
• lunch: skipped it
• dinner: chicken breast simmered in butter and lemon juice, seasoned with pepper and Cajun seasoning, side of yellow corn and green beans
• drank 64 ounces of water
• three rounds of WHM breathing
• finished the Prologue for LotR, as well as the first chapter, A Long Expected Party
• walked a lot around my neighborhood, as well as in town while waiting for my daughter to get finished at work
• Day Four of Hero's Journey completed:
  • Part One: 8 reps each, 3 sets of bridges, one legged bridges, flutter kicks, leg raises, scissors, and sitting twists
  • Part Two: Superman stretches, 3 sets of 10 reps
• went to bed around 10:30pm to lie with my queen

Goal 3:

• read a meditation about marriage and commitment
• spent some time jumping on a trampoline with my youngest daughters
• put away some shoes that were in the way
• mowed the grass at the other house

[Snarkyfishguts]

I love a nice lemony chicken!

 

Six Days resisting the ring ,that's awesome! Clearly, Frodo was right to trust you!

[WolfDreamer]

3 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I love a nice lemony chicken!

 

I know, right?

 

3 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Six Days resisting the ring ,that's awesome! Clearly, Frodo was right to trust you!

 

Thank you. This is very encouraging.

[oromendur]

What a gorgeous challenge  

 

Faramir was very dear to The Professor's heart as well:

 

Quote

I am not Gandalf, being a transcendent Sub-creator in this little world. As far as any character is 'like me' it is Faramir – except that I lack what all my characters possess (let the psychoanalysts note!) Courage. (The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, p.232 [note])

 

If latecomers are welcome in your Fellowship, I'm here!

 

[WolfDreamer]

48 minutes ago, oromendur said:

What a gorgeous challenge  

 

Thank you.

 

49 minutes ago, oromendur said:

Faramir was very dear to The Professor's heart as well:

 

I was not aware of this. Thank you. I am honored to have a Tolkien expert as a guest.

 

53 minutes ago, oromendur said:

If latecomers are welcome in your Fellowship, I'm here!

 

You are not late, nor are you early. You arrived precisely when you meant to. Of course you are always welcome. It is an honor, truly.

[WolfDreamer]

Week 1, Sunday

 

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. It was a mostly good day for me considering. My daughters bought be Father's Day cards as well as a $15 gift card to Dunkin Donuts. I did have a little slip up, which I will continue to refer to using the "one ring" metaphor, and then own it and prepare to move forward.

 

Goal 1:

• listened to a podcast interview with Richard Rohr about contemplative spirituality 
• spent most of the day with my wife and daughters; however, I did have some time alone, and it did not go well (see below)
• I did not reach out to any Fellowship members because I was feeling particularly down today and isolated myself
• did not fast because yesterday was our 20th wedding anniversary, so I was up late with my wife, eating popcorn and watching a movie, and this morning I was quite hungry
• I regret to say I put the ring on today just for a moment; I don't think it was long enough for any real danger, but I could feel the pull of the Dark Lord, and it frightened me, so I took it off
• I was reminded of HALT: was I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? These are all triggering needs that can easily lead to relapse. I realized it was a bit of anger and loneliness that triggered my urge, and I meditated on those feelings. I did something I had not done in a few months: I called my father. The conversation went really well, and he sounded joyful and glad to hear from me. This lifted my spirits. I was also feeling a bit hungry, so I went and made lunch (see below). Later, I drove to the cemetery where my grandfather is buried. I think missing him on this day was the root of my moods.

Goal 2:

• woke up at sunrise because my wife and I were home alone, and I wanted to spend more time in bed with her
• said the Lord's Prayer, as well as a more personal prayer
• no fasting
• breakfast: raisin bran cereal
• lunch: chicken breast simmered in butter, lemon juice, and garlic, seasoned with dill, with a side of carrots and peas
• dinner: pasta with grilled chicken, broccoli, and cheese
• drank 64 ounces of water
• no WHM breathing
• read several chapters of LotR today; I am now at Tom Bombadil's house. SIDE NOTE: I had forgotten how much more I like Merry and Pippin from the books (especially Merry, who is a much bigger deal in the books than in the films).
• walked a bit around my neighborhood
• Day Seven of Hero's Journey completed

Goal 3:

• read a blog post by Morgan Snyder about mantras
• spent some time playing with my youngest daughters and watched a movie with the entire family
• did some laundry, washed dishes, helped my wife go through some of the girls' clothes that no longer fit
• Saturday I met with a former student who hauled away my stepfather's old pop-up camper that has been sitting unused behind the other house for over a decade

[Bean Sidhe]

I love your resist the ring goal. Knowing you have triggers and learning to resist them is a great idea. Good luck on your challenge.

I hope you and your family are doing well. I am sorry I haven't stopped by to check in more often.

[WolfDreamer]

"There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow."

 

Just read that line, and it gave me chills, so I posted it here. Updates to come soon.

[oromendur]

7 hours ago, WolfDreamer said:

"There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow."

 

Frodo in the lair of the barrow-wight

 

Ah, hobbit courage. Deeply buried, slow to wake, and (importantly) usually only manifests fully when their friends are in danger. Noble instruction indeed

 

There's a chapter in Noble Smith's The Wisdom of the Shire called "The Courage of a Halfling." It's an odd, preachy little book, honestly a bit silly, but it's such a wholesome reflection on the lessons of Middle-earth. You might enjoy it, if you enjoy that sort of thing. (I recommend the audiobook version.)