fearless starts from zero

[fearless 2.0]

Tuesday:

 

walked 2.2 km. took dog out. no free running today, the spot where she can run free is further away. Doing that again tomorrow.

food: check

hydration: check

PT exercises done for yesterday and today: 20 mins with my PT supervising.check

fun thing: watched a comedy special on Netflix  check

household chores: vacuumed for the fist time since surgery ( before I had people do that for me), put the dishwasher on twice and removed clean dishes. check

morning ritual: nope, just listened to and read course intro. starting with the course tomorrow

 

waiting for the neighbor kids to pluck the berries in my garden. Cant do it myself just now and asked if they would like to have them. after that wine, movie, bed.

 

it was a good day today!

 

[iatetheyeti]

Sounds like things are going well for you, which is wonderful. And hey, congrats on the scholarship! Tarot reading is a fascinating art, so it'll be interesting to hear about how you get on with the course.

 

[fearless 2.0]

wednesday:

 

so I overdid it. walked  3k with the dog before having breakfast and also got some shopping done. In the store I stared sweating and had blurred vision. Made it home and lay down after having something to eat as well as a liter of water with electrolytes. Im still lying down (4pm) and not feeling too hot. I ordered a pizza and decided I need to try to carb up a bit and eat more. dizziness has passed now but still weak. Shit!

 

must experiment with what to eat tomorrow. I don't really know what's missing. I had electrolytes in my water every day and ate enough calories. Am I deficient in something else? 

 

will check in tomorrow morning...

 

cheers!

 

 

[fearless 2.0]

 

did some reading about my symptoms on keto and think the solution for now is to strictly count my macros and make sure I have enough electrolytes. Will also get a multi vitamin tomorrow. I used to take vitamins on a daily basis and haven't done that since march. Also I will drink broth 2 times a day to make sure I have enough salt. also I must cook more with green veggies. and all this has to be possible on a minimal budget. So definitely more planning and experimenting. Did a new evaluation also about how many calories I should eat currently . With my 103kg that's 1500 calories/day. Will track on myfitnesspal starting tomorrow. 

[aramis]

1 hour ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I stared sweating and had blurred vision.

Sounds like low blood sugar. Had this couple times in my life. But on the other hand - not sure it this can happen on keto...  

 

1 minute ago, fearless 2.0 said:

With my 103kg that's 1500 calories/day.

Umm... on how sharp deficit you are?

[fearless 2.0]

@aramis yeah, unsure also!

 

my deficit is 20%. counted with ruled. me calculator. its one of the websites I trust.. just have to experiment...

[fearless 2.0]

thursday:

walked 3k with dog but with leash ... 

food: 1500 calories, right fat, carb and protein ratio. check 

hydration: check

household chores: washing done and dishwasher ran and was emptied  . check

morning ritual: followed my online course and did a tarot card reading... interesting stuff if you see tarot as a psychological resource to get to know yourself. check

PT stuff: nope

 

talked to my pharmacist on the phone. I might have a deficiency in vitamin b. ordered a vitamin b complex online.

feel weak and lazy today. taking it easy over here...

 

started reducing cigarettes/ day. Every morning I take some cigarettes out of the pack, then Im allowed to smoke the pack.. 

 

 

[iatetheyeti]

3 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

feel weak and lazy today. taking it easy over here...

 

I definitely wouldn't say lazy. You've got a lot to contend with right now with your recovery, and that's going to tire you out. Taking it easy is a sensible decision and one that'll do you good.

 

[fearless 2.0]

friday:

feeling very weak still. decided to see a doc on Monday. will take a break here until I know what Im dealing with. Mentally Im good. Just feel ill. See you guys on Monday night !

 

[Terinatum]

Take good care of yourself, my dear.

[//Min]

On 7/3/2020 at 11:52 PM, fearless 2.0 said:

friday:

feeling very weak still. decided to see a doc on Monday. will take a break here until I know what Im dealing with. Mentally Im good. Just feel ill. See you guys on Monday night !

 

 

sending you good vibes and hoping you feel better soon~ drown yourself in vitamins? 

 

[fearless 2.0]

Im back,

queens and kings!

 

I feel better after reintroducing a few carbs and eating more / drinking all the vitamins/ minerals available. Also broth to get more sodium in.

 

review of last week:

 

dog walk without a leash happened once instead of four times. little walks happened every day.

food: keto until Thursday . After that carbs were eaten. slight weight gain.

hydration: 3l 5 out of 7 days

fun thing: every day

PT exercises: 2 out of 7 days

 

a bit of a setback, but I think I will just start again with baby steps. 5k walks don't have to be happening right away. Also I will see whether I can go back to strict keto - it depends on whether I am still feeling weak. I have started this challenge with 107 kg and went down to 103 in 3 weeks. Thats quite a lot and maybe I should concentrate on losing slow and sustainable. I was just so hyped to get under 100kg. Patience! 

I gave myself a time limit until next weekend to get well again by taking all the supplements and eating more/healthy/including carbs. If I still feel weak next weekend I will see a doctor. ( can you tell that I hate going???)

 

what my spine needs, to heal now, is occasional walks and PT to build muscles. So that's what Im concentrating on next week.

 

GOALS FOR NEXT WEEK :

 

• eat wholegrain bread for breakfast. Have meat and veggies for dinner.
• drink 3 liter daily.
• drugs: 1 big glass of wine and 20 cigarettes/day max... for gods sake, woman!!!!
• take supplements every day
• sit up as much as you can (without pain)
• do 2 short walks around the block with the pup every day
• do two PT exercises every day 
• sort all paperwork to prep for tax so you can start filing tax next weekend

 

by the end of next week I expect to feel more like

 

 

have a great day/evening y'all! and don't forget to look at the full moon tonight!

 

 

 

[Salinger]

Hey!! Sounds like good plans for the week!! I hope you feel amazing by the end of it  xx

[fearless 2.0]

monday:

food: messed up and had only bread today. not amused about being so addicted to carbs... finishing the bread and then back to keto!

hydration: 2 liter instead of 3

drugs: check, didnt overdo it at all

supplements: taken

sitting: check

2 short walks with dog: check

2 PT exercises: done and it felt good

prep for tax: not yet

 

im missing my creative, active brain! feel weighed down by me only caring for my body because I have to. For example I can't do the tarot course right now. I can do it later no problem, but still I wish I had my brain functioning the way it usually does. Good news: Im not dizzy anymore and the 2 walks were pleasant. had a visitor with her dog over for coffee and my pup was soooo happy to play! Feel loved and cared for. Now drinking a glass of bubbly and the off to sleep early tonight. 

 

[//Min]

8 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

im missing my creative, active brain! feel weighed down by me only caring for my body because I have to. For example I can't do the tarot course right now. I can do it later no problem, but still I wish I had my brain functioning the way it usually does. Good news: Im not dizzy anymore and the 2 walks were pleasant. had a visitor with her dog over for coffee and my pup was soooo happy to play! Feel loved and cared for. Now drinking a glass of bubbly and the off to sleep early tonight

 

I hear ya! It like wanting to do other things but having to be forced to focus on the physical right? i wish the same too haha

 

hope your rest is good. that’s one lucky pup you have with a caring owner

 

[Salinger]

Hope you rested well and today is a good one xx

[Terinatum]

On 7/6/2020 at 12:16 PM, fearless 2.0 said:

im missing my creative, active brain! feel weighed down by me only caring for my body because I have to.

Hey Fearless,

I feel for ya. Focusing on both mental and physical is really tough. Seems they need the same power outlet to get things done. And me with only one outlet.

 

I'm really glad you're on the mend. Finding center takes patience, as you well know, and I don't know how to get you there sooner. But I know you have the grace and self love required to get there and stay there. 

 

Hang in there, Baby!

[fearless 2.0]

wednesday:

food: 3 keto meals. still experimenting and eating more than before...

hydration: done

drugs: 25 cigarettes/fail 1 glas wine/will have that later

supplements: vit B complex/ vit D3 / magnesium calcium plus chicken-broth for more salt.... check

sitting: done

2 short walks with pup: done

PT exercises: done

prep for tax: done

 

good day today. walked more than usual ( 5500 steps) ate well and felt ok all day. Yesterday my creative brain had an appearance while I listened to a podcast. Slowly I start to feel inspirated again and got a lot of other shit done that wasn't even on my list for today. Now I have a Skype Cello lesson to give and then on to wine and podcast.

 

[Salinger]

Whats the creative project?  xx

[fearless 2.0]

16 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Whats the creative project?  xx

a book I am prepping for. self help.

[fearless 2.0]

Ups I missed a day!

yesterday I did everything except my PT exercises. Am keto again and feeling physically well.

 

friday:

 

walked for an hour with dog. checked out a store with second hand clothes and found a sweater I liked. check 5500 steps done

hydration and food: check

tax: finished and sent. check

drugs: today I smoked more than allowed. by tonight I will be at 30 cigarettes.... fail!  wine is going to be one glass tonight - nothing else in the house .check

supplements: done

will do my exercises after posting here

 

after gaining weight back while carbing up( because I had collapsed twice and was worried ) Im losing again since yesterday. Today I weighed in at 105.3 / 232.2lbs

mentally Im having a hard day. Its been raining and freezing cold for a few days and I feel like napping or eating chocolate all the time. Also I feel I should be getting stuff done which I haven't today. Apart from forcing myself to walk I just lay curled up on the sofa all day. not good for my spine. What I like about this challenge is that it got me back to walking. I started with like 2000 steps last challenge and have upped it to 4000/5000 steps a day. that gives me hope and makes me feel better. Hoping for a bit of warm weather to enjoy moving outside.

 

[fearless 2.0]

Saturday:

 

food: done

hydration: done

drugs: within limits. done

walking: 2 walks with dog. done

PT exercises: done

added a new goal of showering every day. done

weight: down to 105.2

feeling mentally and physically well. enjoying the PT exercises and waiting to get fit to do some serious bodyweight stuff. the baby step system works very well for me. Also I found the app "Coach me" to be very helpful. You can count your streaks and build habits bit by bit. Listened to a podcast about habits and like the idea of adding on 1% of effort or time every day to get to where you want to be. Also made a list of points to describe what kind of person id love to be and found that helpful for goal setting. More tomorrow!

 

[fearless 2.0]

finished off a whole bottle of rosé. I guess that mens I failed the drug test today! 

 

[fearless 2.0]

accountability thingy for the past week:

 

hydration: 7 ou of seven days. 3 Liter

food: 6 out of seven days. 3 healthy keto meals. I am eating slightly more than before and have lost weight. at 104.4. before my carb phase I was down to 103.6 so Id love to finish the challenge at that weight or even lower. 

supplements: 7 out of seven days. Taking vitamin d, vitamin b complex, potassium.

PT exercises: 6 out of seven days. 

Walks with dog: 7 out of seven days. walked 33.000 steps this week compared to 26.000 last week. happy about that!

drugs: still struggling! 4 out of seven days with less cigarettes and booze. that was the hardest part this week.

 

All in all I got sh!t done last week. this challenge is helping me to concentrate on the basics during this difficult time globally. I am happy to be part of this and also to read about your days. Already contemplating if I do the next challenge also. But first to finish strong here....

 

 

 

 

GOALS FOR THE NEW WEEK:

 

drinking enough and supplements are already habits now. concentrating on the following:

1. food: 3 healthy keto meals every day
2. PT exercises: upping it a bit and want to do 3 exercises every day. Checked what I need to do and will practice 2x /day
3. walks: 2 small walks or one long walk every day with the pup. bonus if she can run free! must take more steps than 33.000 next week. upped my daily goal to 5.000 steps.
4. drugs: 1 big glass of wine and 24 cigarettes are allowed /day
5. keep joyous and inspired: here I can choose between listening to a podcast, reading, writing and meditating once per day. I want to be as light as possible, mentally.

[GoodDoug]

Nice job. I think your attitude will carry you as far as you want to go. Keep kicking ass