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¸„.-•~¹°”ˆ˜¨ Health & Happiness Are Hard ¨˜ˆ”°¹~•-.„¸

Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies

 

 

 

 

𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕒 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕐'𝕒𝕝𝕝

I am diagnosed with a lot crap that makes life hard — manic depression, C-PTSD, OSFED (eating disorder), OCD, anxiety, some chronic pain, and other crap.

these aspects of me and my life are going to come up in my journey to getting back on track with my health and happiness.

I'll try to be sensitive to triggers, include warnings such as this where needed, and use spoilers when necessary.

but this is my "cover my butt" warning.  thanks in advance for you understand.  ^_^

 

 

 

life is difficult; but I find obtaining Health and Happiness is even harder.  as aforementioned, I have some mental and physical ailments that complicate the normal struggles of life even further.  recently, my depression and my eating disorder have been soul-consuming.  it's time to end that.

 

I used to be a rather active member of Nerd Fitness in its early days.  the life happened and I left for a while.  well, I'm back; and hopefully for even longer this time.  I'd like to get my life and health in order, lol.

 

as follows are my current Goals for this upcoming Challenge.  I, of course, reserve the right to adjust them as time progresses and I see what's going to work for me and what isn't.

 

Get Down to 125 Pounds (ideally by 08/24/2020)

  • Do a Daily Workout
    • weightlifting on MTWRFA
      • everyday:  warm-ups and cool-downs
      • MR:  upper body — push-up, bicep curl, bent-over row
      • TF:  lower body — squat, strait-leg deadlift, calf raise
      • AW:  mix/misc — mountain climber, tensor curl, flexor curl, donkey kick
    • cycling everyday
      • AMWR:  ~5 mi (2 circuits)
      • URF:  ~2.5 mi (1 circuit)
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule  [TW — Eating Disorders]
    • TO BE UPDATED to a point wherein I'm not slowly starving myself
    • gets tweaked and Friday before depending on plans for the week
    • Goal Average Kcal/Day:  <700
      • Sat:  1,200
      • Sun:  1,200
      • Mon:  0
      • Tue:  1,200
      • Wed:  0
      • Thu:  1,200
      • Fri:  0
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements
    • take body measurements at start of every month
  • Log Daily Metrics
    • continue to complete the daily Metrics spreadsheet, filling it in as completely as possible
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan
    • every Friday, make the caloric and cooking food plan for the following week (as starts on then ext day of Sat)

 

Manage My Mental Health

  • Do Daily AM Prep
    • complete morning preparations for the day, every day
  • Do Daily PM Review
    • complete evening review of the day, every day
  • Complete Mood Form Daily
    • complete the mood tracking form at least once every day
  • Track Meds
    • track all medications and (certain) supplements consumed every day

 

Become a Professional Writer  [to be tweaked soon]

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach
    • solidify a working relationship with a career counselor/career

 

Resume Being Creative

  • Write for One Hour per Week
    • work on any writing project for a total of at least one hour a week
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week
    • do any artistic work for a total of at least one hour each week
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Hi there!  

 

Love the fancy decorated title for your thread! And how did you do that "First a Warning..." font?

 

Are you currently working with someone to help you with your eating disorder? 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Love the fancy decorated title for your thread! And how did you do that "First a Warning..." font?

 

Are you currently working with someone to help you with your eating disorder? 

hey there!  :D  thanks for stopping by.

 

 

yeah, I'm not very good with "traditional" or "default" settings, lol.

 

for the warning font, I actually totally cheated, lol.  however, many BBCode forums support a variety of more traditional fonts:

Spoiler

Verdana
Times New Roman
Comic Sans MS
Arial
Courier New
Tahoma
Century
Autumn
Lucida Console
Rockwell
Scribble
Trebuchet

but to get the really fun ones, I use that link.

 

 

although I have struggling with my eating disorder in one fashion or another since I was a kid, I only just recently got officially diagnosed this past Feb.  I was supposed to start this state-acclaimed program when my partner and I had to move to the other side of the country.

 

presently, we are living with his parents and are both unemployed (and actively searching).  I am on Medicaid right now.  so either this is the best time to get into a program (if Medicaid will pay for most of it) or the worst (we don't know where our long-term home will be, we don't have real income, and I need to keep my availability open mainly for jobs).

 

so yeah.  that's where I am with that.  :/

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𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝟘𝟞/𝟙𝟡/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]

 

 

˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.6 lbs 🔽
  • Body Fat: ??% — scale being wonky
  • BMI: 22.9 🔽


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout:  I tried, but I couldn't really manage it due to hardcore DOMS.  =>  0.25 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  1,043 of 1,200 kal.  =>  1.15 pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yup, recorded everything.  =>  1.0 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  I made the plan on Fri like I'm supposed to, but I cooked yesterday.  and because of how difficult (emotionally and physically) cooking is for me, I get some fucking points, lol.  =>  1.0 pts
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  2,181 kcal daily average for last seven days.  ugh, need to work on that.  and it wasn't all good — I know there was a lot of icecream in there, lol.
  • BONUS:  Water:  only 64 oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  completed.  =>  1.0 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  completed.  =>  1.0 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  did not complete at all.  =>  0.0 pts
  • Track Meds:  yep!.  =>  1.0 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  talked to Brian about which I'd prefer.  so now I just have to tell her yes and everyone else no.  goal for that is Monday.  =>  1.0 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  8.40/10.00  =>  84.01%
  • This Week:  8.40/10.00  =>  84.01%
  • Total:  8.40/10.00  =>  84.01%

 

 

˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜

 

this was Day One for me of restarting because of my eating plan starts on Saturday.  so whatever.  my goals, my life, whatever works for me.

 

I ate, despite not wanting to.  Iw as budgeted to eat more, but I didn't have food ready by the evening because the did not go as planned.  so I had time to cook for the week, but not eat anything.  part of me is totally okay with that, haha.  but Brian would have gathered it worked out otherwise.  so we'll see for future instances...

 

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as someone who suffered for 10+years with life threatening mental illness I wish you all the best for your challenge. And Id like to let you know that a good life is possible with chronic illness. I was helped by some fucking amazing professionals and lived to tell the tale. If you'd like I send you a hug! ❤️ 

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21 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

as someone who suffered for 10+years with life threatening mental illness I wish you all the best for your challenge. And Id like to let you know that a good life is possible with chronic illness. I was helped by some fucking amazing professionals and lived to tell the tale. If you'd like I send you a hug! ❤️ 

 

thanks.  it's just getting really old, ya know?  it's like, as soon as I get one mental ailment (or physical one, too) under control, another two pop up!  it feels like bashing my head into a wall repeated in an effort to take it down.

 

and I think it's awesome that you're doing so well.  that's very encouraging.  thank you sharing your tale.   <3

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𝕄𝕠𝕟 𝟘𝟞/𝟚𝟚/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘

[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.8 lbs 🔼
  • BMI: 22.9 🔽


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: still hardly able to move from DOMS.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  995 kcal eaten against 0 kcal allotted.  I was hangry.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yup.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,846 kcal daily average for last seven days.
  • BONUS:  Water:  97 oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  not completely.  =>  0.50 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  no.  I gotta get better about this.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  well enough.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  reached out to one more consult.  that occurs on Tue.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  4.50/8.00  =>  56.25%
  • This Week:  17.88/26.00  =>  68.76%
  • Total:  17.88/26.00  =>  68.76%
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𝕄𝕠𝕟 𝟘𝟞/𝟚𝟚/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘

[link to spreadsheet here]

 

 

˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.8 lbs 
  • BMI: 22.9 

 

 

˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: still hardly able to move from DOMS.  =>  0.00 pts
    0.00
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  995 kcal eaten against 0 kcal allotted.  I was hangry.  =>  pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yup.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,846 kcal daily average for last seven days.
  • BONUS:  Water:  97 oz.

 

 

˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  not completely.  =>  0.50 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  no.  I gotta get better about this.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  well enough.  =>  1.00 pts

 

 

˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  reached out to one more consult.  that occurs on Tue.  =>  1.00 pts

 

 

˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A

 

 

˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  4.50/8.00  =>  56.25%
  • This Week:  17.88/26.00  =>  68.76%
  • Total:  17.88/26.00  =>  68.76%

 

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On 6/18/2020 at 12:30 PM, cracked_belle said:

Goal Average Kcal/Day:  <700

  • Sat:  1,200
  • Sun:  1,200
  • Mon:  0
  • Tue:  1,200
  • Wed:  0
  • Thu:  1,200
  • Fri:  0

 

This is interesting! I'm curious why you are taking the approach of having fasting days? :) 

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6 hours ago, miss_marissa said:

 

This is interesting! I'm curious why you are taking the approach of having fasting days? :) 

I enjoy fasting.  I like the high I get from it.

meanwhile, timed or controlled fasting (ADF, for instance) prevents me from excessively extended fasting.  at the same time, it allows for some wiggle room if I have a really bad consumption day.

 

I know CICO isn't perfect.  but it's a good baby step for me, since I count calories anyway due to the ED.

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𝕋𝕦𝕖 𝟘𝟞/𝟚𝟛/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 142.5 lbs 🔼
  • Body Fat: 25.7% 🔼
  • BMI: 23.0 🔼


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout:  Brian and I had arguments all day, so I was not at all in the right mindset to throw weights around.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  1,458 kcal eaten against 1,500 kcal allotted.  =>  1.03 pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yup.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,727 kcal daily average for last seven days.
  • BONUS:  Water:  97+ oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  did everything!  =>  1.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  did not do my self-care shit.  =>  0.50 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  did it even though I did not want to.  =>  1.50 pts
  • Track Meds:  yup.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  had a good convo with the final coaching candidate.   =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  7.03/8.00  =>  87.86%
  • This Week:  24.91/34.00  =>  73.26%
  • Total:  24.91/34.00  =>  73.26%


˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜
it was a shitty day.  Brian and I had a shit-ton of fights, and nothing good even came of it.  I'm just so exhausted.  and that doesn't help my fitness any.

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Brian is going to be helping his mom with her back surgery recovery again.  he should be gone for a few weeks.  this means I'm on my own for a while.

 

I see this going one of two ways:

  1. Awesome:  I don't have him here to influence my eating (he's a heavy snacker).  I'll be fending for myself again.  possibly even start cooking a meal or two.  I do responsible IF, making sure to still get my nutrients.  and omg, I might even lose some weight, lol.  but most importantly, I hope to create a feeding gameplan — what, how much, and how often — that I enjoy, will maintain, and is healthy.
  2. Horribly:  I just kinda stop eating.  because that's a thing I do.  :/

so we'll see how this goes.

 

in other news, sorry I missed the last few days of updates.  human deaths, pet deaths, human illnesses, job shit, family shit, belated holiday, belated birthday, etc.  it has been freakin' nuts for me.

I need to do better about updating.  so y'all can call me on my shit when I starve instead of fast, lol.

 

I also want to catch up on the threads of a few wonderful people who are reading and commenting on my own.  thank you.  <3

 

so yeah.  I guess I'll post yesterday's failures here.  ^_^'

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𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕪, 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕖 𝟚𝟞𝕥𝕙, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 143.6 lbs 🔼
  • Body Fat: 24.4% 🔽
  • BMI: 23.2 🔼


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: today was ... hectic, to say the least.  I still should have gotten something done.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  2,334 of 1,500.  my fam had our belated Father's Day and a belated birthday celebration.  not an excuse — just a reason.  =>  0.64 pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  did not do, actually.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  no.  but my plan was to do on Sat this week, due to the craziness of today's schedule and Brian's leaving for a while.  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,642 kcal daily average for last seven days.  getting better....
  • BONUS:  Water:  only 80 oz. :(


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  nope.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  also a no.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  and nada.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  thankfully, yes.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  making connections with the coach.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  was well over an hour that I spent tweaking the back-end of some servers I own and in creating my Notion database.  =>  2.00


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  4.64/9.00  =>  51.89%
  • This Week:  17.64/28.00  =>  63.01%
  • Total:  42.55/62.00  =>  68.63%


˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜
okay, Self.  workout first thing after peeing and weigh-in.  no seriously — first thing.  because the moment you sit at that computer, your whole day is thrown off schedule.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝟘𝟞/𝟚𝟠/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.7 lbs 🔽
  • Body Fat: 24.4% 🔽
  • BMI: 22.9 🔽


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: did rano stuff in pool to test it out.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  1,359 kcal eaten against 1,100 kcal allotted.  =>  0.81 pts
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,630 kcal daily average for last seven days.  it's coming down, slowly but surely.  :)
  • BONUS:  Water:  64 oz.  to man Diet Cokes yesterday.  :(


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  did some, not all.  =>  0.50 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yup.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  nope..  =>  0.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  did not do my assessment yet. :(  =>  0.00 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not write all weekend. :(  =>  0.00 pts
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  worked on Notion and some Discord servers.  this shit's addictive, y'all.  I fucking love learning new software.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  6.31/10.00  =>  63.09%
  • This Week:  29.47/48.00  =>  61.4%
  • Total:  54.38/82.00  =>  66.32%

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𝕎𝕖𝕕 𝟘𝟟/𝟘𝟙/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.9 lbs 🔼
  • Body Fat: 23.4% 🔼
  • BMI: 22.9 🔄


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: ish.  tested out some lawn equipment, include a brand new weedeater.  more of a workout for my thumb (holding saftey switch), but whatever.  =>  0.5 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  3581 kcal eaten against 300 kcal allotted.  Brian's step-mom fed me a lot of food.  I need to learn how to say no.  =>  0.00 pts (can I do negative points??)
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yes..  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,948 kcal daily average for last seven days.  (Mon it was down to 1,510!)
  • BONUS:  Water:  did not track entirely.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  no.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  N/A  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  4.50/7.00  =>  64.29%
  • This Week:  9.50/16.00  =>  59.38%
  • Total:  73.79/107.00  =>  68.96%


˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜
today was ass.

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𝔽𝕣𝕚 𝟘𝟟/𝟘𝟛/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 139.6 lbs 🔽
  • Body Fat: 24.1% 🔽
  • BMI: 22.5 🔽


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: bicycled for a bit.  (only got lost once, lol.)  =>  1.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  718 kcal eaten.  my goaling right now is fubared until I determine Keto plan with friend H.  =>  N/A
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,876 kcal daily average for last seven days.
  • BONUS:  Water:  hit my goal of 97 oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  twice, actually.  =>  2.00 pts
  • Track Meds:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  N/A.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  8.00/7.00  =>  114.29%
  • This Week:  17.5/23.00  =>  76.09%
  • Total:  81.79/114.00  =>  71.75%%

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21 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

You are doing great! I always get a sore thumb on lawn equipment where you have to hold the switch down. 

thanks!

ugh, I hate it.  I want to get one of those gripping things to help your hand strength . I can't hold heavier weights in my hand that my arms or legs can totally handle, so I have to massively up reps and sets to compensate.

 

and thank you for reading and reply.  I was just thinking this morning about how I'm as active on here as i should be, so obviously no one is reading my stuff, so obviously posting is a waste of time.  lol.

 

I'm sorry I've been bad about reading yours.  I'll catch up on it this weekend.  <3

I've got to get back into the habit of visiting NF every one or two days to chatch up.  I post my crap and leave, lol.  not very interactive.

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16 hours ago, cracked_belle said:

 I was just thinking this morning about how I'm as active on here as i should be, so obviously no one is reading my stuff, so obviously posting is a waste of time.  lol.

 

 

My thread doesn't get that much traffic either compared to the girls I follow. But I figure it's just because I'm still pretty new. It's hard to tell yourself not to take it personally. Especially when you have  history of being awkward in social situations and then you wonder if even online people don't like you. But everyone here has been really supportive and encouraging. And I have noticed I get more traffic when I regularly check in with others. So when life gets hectic/stressful and I don't post except for my own it's a lot more quiet, so I have to remind myself to be more active and then in turn my own tread is more active.

 

What genre do you write?

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𝕊𝕒𝕥 𝟘𝟟/𝟘𝟜/𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 141.1 lbs 🔼
  • Body Fat: 23.7% 🔽
  • BMI: 22.8 🔼


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: y'all.  I did two (instead of three) set of my weightlifting and I did two bicycling circuits.  what! :D  =>  2.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  not entirely tracking for next few days..  =>  N/A
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  made a loose plan for until Monday.  very loose.  =>  1.00 pts
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  1,927 kcal daily average for last seven days.
  • BONUS:  Water:  97 oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  did 3 of goal 2.  =>  1.50 pts
  • Track Meds:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Find a Career Counselor/Coach:  met with her.  I start my actual career work on Monday.  expect this section to change a little.  =>  2.00 pts


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  9.50/8.00  =>  118.75%%
  • This Week:  27.00/31.00  =>  87.10%
  • Total:  91.29/122.00  =>  74.83%


˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜
another day good for Points.

I meet with H on Monday about keto.  been doing a shit-ton of research on it since then.  I think I'm gonna do 10% net carbs to start, 25% protein, and 65% fat.  maybe later I'll transition to 5% carbs and 30% protein.  but to start, even just 10% carbs will make a difference.  and I'll be doing ADF too, I think.  when I solidify my plan, I'll post it here all fancy-like, as I do.

Brian's step-mom keeps trying to feed me.  D:  it will be easier to get out of when I start keto.

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6 hours ago, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

 

My thread doesn't get that much traffic either compared to the girls I follow. But I figure it's just because I'm still pretty new. It's hard to tell yourself not to take it personally. Especially when you have  history of being awkward in social situations and then you wonder if even online people don't like you. But everyone here has been really supportive and encouraging. And I have noticed I get more traffic when I regularly check in with others. So when life gets hectic/stressful and I don't post except for my own it's a lot more quiet, so I have to remind myself to be more active and then in turn my own tread is more active.

 

What genre do you write?

yeah.  when I was first here, I was mutually following with ten or so people.  I still keep in touch with a few of them, actually.  one even came across the country to live with me, lol!  good people.

 

but I'm spoiled by another forum of which I am a part.  their BBCode management is better than there.  they have a dark mode, so I don't get headaches nearly as quickly.  and most importantly, the notification system actually works.  so when I come here and the quality hasn't improved much from when I was really active years and years ago, it's disappointing and discouraging.

 

so yes, I agree that commenting on others gets that interaction going.  however, being on this site is physically unpleasant, so I avoid it.  not a good excuse, but a true reason.  and like I said, I'm just totally spoiled by the other forum, lol!

 

 

so my genre often depends on the medium.  two novels are dramas, and a third is raunchy comedy.  my poetry tends to be very "emo", lol.  I also have a blog that I'm not good about updating anymore.  and I love writing tech pieces (manuals, informational guides and cheat sheets, etc).

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On 7/4/2020 at 3:03 AM, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:
On 7/3/2020 at 9:50 AM, cracked_belle said:

 I was just thinking this morning about how I'm as active on here as i should be, so obviously no one is reading my stuff, so obviously posting is a waste of time.  lol.

 

 

My thread doesn't get that much traffic either compared to the girls I follow. But I figure it's just because I'm still pretty new. It's hard to tell yourself not to take it personally. Especially when you have  history of being awkward in social situations and then you wonder if even online people don't like you. But everyone here has been really supportive and encouraging. And I have noticed I get more traffic when I regularly check in with others. So when life gets hectic/stressful and I don't post except for my own it's a lot more quiet, so I have to remind myself to be more active and then in turn my own tread is more active.

 

I still struggle to be actively involved! (Which is why a lot of notifications are just me "liking" posts). 

 

To be honest, if people are just kind of going on status quo, I feel weird commenting just to post. So really, this is just a solidarity post. 

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On 7/6/2020 at 8:42 AM, Sylvaa said:

 

I still struggle to be actively involved! (Which is why a lot of notifications are just me "liking" posts). 

 

To be honest, if people are just kind of going on status quo, I feel weird commenting just to post. So really, this is just a solidarity post. 

that's fair.  I forget about the "liking" feature, as I don't get alerts for it.  I'll try to be cognizant of it, thank you.

 

(I'll be catching up on your thread soon, btw.)

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Mon 07/06/2020
[link to spreadsheet here]


˜”*°• ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ •°*”˜

  • Next AM Weight: 142.5 lbs 🔽
  • Body Fat: 23.1% 🔼
  • BMI: 23.0 🔽


˜”*°• ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ 125 ᴘᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ •°*”˜

  • Daily Workout: over 40 minutes on the bike.  no weights, though.  =>  2.00 pts
  • Adhere to Caloric Schedule:  today was not budgeted.  =>  N/A
  • Log Monthly Body Measurements:  N/A  =>  N/A
  • Log Daily Metrics:  yep.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Make Next Week's Food Plan:  yep!  met with H for our plan.  =>  1.50 pts
  • BONUS:  7-Day Rolling Avg:  2,593 kcal rolling average of last seven days for daily consumption.  so much for "Atpiycal Anorexia", yeah?  LOL.
  • BONUS:  Water:  80 oz.


˜”*°• ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ •°*”˜

  • Do Daily AM Prep:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Do Daily PM Review:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts
  • Complete Mood Form Daily:  .  =>  pts
  • Track Meds:  yes.  =>  1.00 pts


˜”*°• ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ •°*”˜

  • Fours Hours of Work:  did not, because fitness stuff ran over.  =>  0.00 pts
  • Networking (in general):  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Miscellaneous Shit:  any additional work on this larger goal deserves acknowledgment.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ʀᴇꜱᴜᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ •°*”˜

  • Write for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A
  • Be Artsy for One Hour per Week:  did not today, but this is a weekly goal.  =>  N/A


˜”*°• ꜱᴄᴏʀᴇ •°*”˜

  • Today:  7.50/8.00  =>  93.75%
  • This Week:  7.50/8.00  =>  93.75%
  • Total:  107.79/144.00  =>  74.86%


˜”*°• ᴅɪᴀʀʏ/ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ •°*”˜
as y'all know, I've got an eating disorder.  whee.  my fam knows I have "eating issues", because an eating disorder is not something they could tolerate (just like they can't handle my Dx'd Obsessions and Compulsions (OCD).)  so I've been in a multiple-years-old plateau of 175-180 lbs. however, since October 23rd, I've gotten down to 139-143 lbs. (I'm 5'6" and now a BF of 23-25%, for what it's worth.)

 

when I saw my mom over the weekend, she says to me, "do you plan on losing anymore weight? because if you do, you're going to look like a druggie or one of those <starts doing the fingers down the throat gesture>."

 

I fucking froze.  I was offended, angry, trigger, and flattered all at the same time.  I'm (attempting to) attach at the bottom of this post a recent image of myself (funnily enough, sporting one of my old-school NF tanks that I still wear, haha).  I need to tone up, I know.  I'm flabby, I know.  and I'm not "fat", I know that too.  but I'm not rail-thin or sickly looking.  and my stomach and thighs (not shown here) still have a lot of chunk to lose.

 

to cope, I reached out to my ED community.  naturally there was outrage.  I also spoke with my partner Brian, who does not have an ED.  he healthily went from 300+ to ~200 in a year via eating better, eating less, and moving more.  even he was like, "not cool."

 

so I'm ask you, my more normal and healthy friends (if you are willing to voice your opinion):

do I look like a fucking bulimic drug addict, do I look just dandy, or ought I to tone up? was my mom being a bit of a bitch or was she accurate and justified in her concerns? or lastly, am I just making a big deal out of nothing?

 

Spoiler

20200706_104701-01.jpeg

 

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