Heidi: Midsummer

[Heidi]

Midsummer and a solar eclipse, a time of revelations and moving forward in new directions, along a new path. I don’t know what I don’t know yet, but I’m here to find out. The challenge looks like an old standard of what-to-do-when, but really it’s less about a checklist of tasks and more about making use of the tools I have as I sit make myself available for the invitation from the Universe. I know it might sound a little woo-woo, but I feel like good things are coming my way if I can simply avoid messing about with everything.

 

Along the way of walking a new path forward, I’ve got some tools to help keep me grounded and to help me reflect. These are the things I’m leaning into right now. I’ve put the Ph.D. on hold for a year, officially, and we all know that a lot can change in a year. Who knows if I’ll go to Ph.D. land at all. This year is all about following the lure and letting the path reveal itself: the Way will open.

 

Daily help comes from:

• journaling
• meditation, sitting, sound healing
• reading (a short story or essay, as well as a novel)
• Writing the Persephone Cycle (I’m keeping track of the word count)
• updating here for visibility
• Good food, including baking bread or making eggs and a salad. When I let my calories slide, my physical condition drops, too.
• knitting! I’m working on a garter stitch blanket I designed especially to be one and only one stitch -- nothing to remember! -- so that I can honor the healing my body needs and just knit and nap on days when my physical needs eclipse my mental capabilities.
• walking, especially in the cemetery with Little Dog

 

Weekly help comes from: 

• letter writing: I have two people I owe letters to, and a handful others I’d like to write to but haven’t yet. I like letter writing and it helps me feel connected and whole. I haven’t chosen a day of the week for this yet, but a routine would help.
• Cleaning the house. It doesn’t take long, and I usually do it on Saturday or Sunday, though with Claudia coming to visit in person, I do a half-clean on that day as well.
• milk run (every other week) -- if driving continues to be an issue, I might have to drop this, which is sad. I have a share in a dairy herd, and I get a gallon of raw milk every week. Since I live farther away right now (it’s a 2.5 hour trip to go from my front door to the farm), I’m picking up every other week (June 23, July 7, July 21, conveniently coincidental with the court date that means I’ll be in Roanoke anyway. Ideally, I’d love to have a driver take me. Then I could knit on the way. When can I afford a Tesla?)
• knitting with my friend’s mom, Claudia, who is becoming a friend in her own right
• Zoom visits with Vivian (every other week: June 20, July 4, July 18)
• Farm Share Vegetables & Eggs (June 16-Sept 8. I need to decide soon if I’m staying in NC for the Autumn as well, but that will likely hinge on what comes of court on July 21.)
• Writing: I submitted a piece to Sun Magazine last challenge (fingers crossed) and have a different piece to submit to Gargoyle this challenge. I’m not feeling super motivated to put the effort into polishing pieces up and sending them out just now, but maybe that will become more available as the summer progresses. I have what could likely be a collection of personal essays, but they need to be taken to the next level. I think I might send these to Dan instead of the first chapter of the novel, and he can edit them while I work on the novel, which is an actual epic, and is starting to expand accordingly. I don’t know if I’ll have the first piece to send along before Autumnal Equinox, September 22.

 

One-offs and Concerns:

• Midsummer marks the beginning of me re-quitting smoking, a habit I picked back up in mid-February as it helped with the headaches. I’ve been lazy and loving it since then, but it’s time to put it back down. [Please don’t send me those super-helpful articles discussing how daily smokers are bizarrely underrepresented in COVID-19 infection rates. I don’t need to know that.] Apologies in advance for breaking into tears out of the blue.
• Apply to Electric Lit as Assistant Editor (deadline 6/25). ALSO: anyone who knows electric lit or my work, feel free to shout out to the Editorial Staff. At this point, I have no reservations in calling to the Universe for guidance. 
• Court for Vivian’s visitation. We are asking for visitation to increase. I am hopeful that it will. I doubt very much that it will be in person, or unsupervised, let alone overnight. I would really like it if I were able to talk to her, even briefly, every night. Pray for me.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Will pray for sure about the visitation.

[darkfoxx]

*hugs & solidarity*

[DarK_RaideR]

Reserving mah seat

[SkyGirl]

Here to follow your journey.   

[Heidi]

Happy Monday!

• reading: Consider the Lobster
• Writing:
  • Started the cover letter for Electric Literature;
  • made a couple notes on additions to The Longest Sentence, 
  • wrote an additional 2404 words in the Persephone Cycle (total of 7877)
• updating here for visibility
• I didn't eat much. For some reason my appetite is all wonky. 
• knitting! another 2" on the garter stitch blanket. It's about a foot long now.

In other news, I got my first ever royalty deposit. My little song made a little money!!! (I mean, that and six bucks will get you a latte, but still!) I am now an Honest-to-Goodness Professional Songwriter.

 

Boys are being very weird right now. If you're a boy, I say this with love: please don't be weird! Let that message cool for a day or two before you send it, or make the call next week after you've thought about it for a minute. If you're broken up, there's probably a reason!! Also, if you're aching to reach out, and there's not bad history, go for it; now seems to be a good time for that, too. My girlfriend has had three date offers, one from a totally skeevy former bf of mine, and he should have known better. The other two were well-received, though there's no chemistry for her on one count; the other one might end up in wedding bells -- who knows?

 

I've had my share of messages from the past, and they were flattering, but fell on barren soil. I'm walking a new path in my life and not looking to recycle my mistakes.

How's it going with you, Dear Nerds?

[Heidi]

1 hour ago, SkyGirl said:

Here to follow your journey.   

Hi, SkyGirl, and welcome! Feel free to chime in with anything, but especially music. I'm adding songs to the piece I'm writing, and sometimes even making them up as I go. (Please, if the Universe is willing, there might be a companion album that comes out of this. Maybe a graphic novel, too.)

6 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Reserving mah seat

Always room for you, Dear Ranger. Grab some tea, pull up a log, and tell me about your journey. I see you've dropped back into your battle log. Looking forward to catching up.

14 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

*hugs & solidarity*

Darkfoxx!! More sourdough, coming your way. And maybe some vegetable goodness now that the farm stuff has started to come in.

On 6/21/2020 at 8:28 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Will pray for sure about the visitation.

Thank you, Tank. You're grand. 

 

I'm blessed to have the support of such fine folks as you all.

Onward!

[SkyGirl]

3 minutes ago, Heidi said:

but especially music. I'm adding songs to the piece I'm writing

 

Ooh, how exciting!! May I ask what genre(s) you're drawing from?

 

(Also yes, boys are being weird right now, what's up with that??)

[Heidi]

10 minutes ago, SkyGirl said:

Ooh, how exciting!! May I ask what genre(s) you're drawing from?

I'm retelling a greek myth, so I'm kind of having to find my way. I'm not interested in the mid-grade Rick Riordan voice, and I'm not wanting to go all high formal ancient greek. Mostly I want it to be basic literature, because it's a family tale, and it's filled with all the inner pressures and outer machinations that great family tales have. It's turning out to be an epic, and I'm no Tolstoy, so even though I loved Anna Karenina, I'm hoping it isn't that. But I guess more like that than anything else.

10 minutes ago, SkyGirl said:

Also yes, boys are being weird right now, what's up with that??

I could say it's because Venus is retrograde in Gemini, and Neptune is stationing as well, so everyone is feeling all dreamy (and possibly delusional) about what might-have-been or yet could be. But who knows? Maybe coronavirus is making us all strange in unpredictable ways.

[Heidi]

HEY!

Can someone figure out the lyrics of this for me please?

 

[darkfoxx]

This is the nearest I was able to hear: 

 

I can dig your smile 

You can dig it too

What’s in the mind xxxxx (the flash .. it hurts (cuts?) you?)

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

I can dig your mind

Can you dig mine too

I don’t know no kind of (person?) kind who ... can serve you? 

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

Can you dig your man

Baby dig your man

 

Aaaaaah wooo 

 

Dig it dig it dig it dig it

 

Can you dig your man

Can you dig your man

Can you really keep one lover in love with one .....?

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

Next

 

Can you dig it

Dig your man

Can you dig it

Can you dig it

Lots of garbled party noises 

Dig it dig it dig it 

 

Can you dig it x4

Can you dig it? 

 

[Scaly Freak]

Glad Midsommar!

 

Being a professional song writer automatically makes you a very cool person. So now you're stuck with me, because I have heard that is contagious.

[Heidi]

On 6/23/2020 at 2:08 AM, darkfoxx said:

This is the nearest I was able to hear: 

 

I can dig your smile 

You can dig it too

What’s in the mind xxxxx (the flash .. it hurts (cuts?) you?)

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

I can dig your mind

Can you dig mine too

I don’t know no kind of (person?) kind who ... can serve you? 

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

Can you dig your man

Baby dig your man

 

Aaaaaah wooo 

 

Dig it dig it dig it dig it

 

Can you dig your man

Can you dig your man

Can you really keep one lover in love with one .....?

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

Can you dig your man x2

Baby dig your man

 

Next

 

Can you dig it

Dig your man

Can you dig it

Can you dig it

Lots of garbled party noises 

Dig it dig it dig it 

 

Can you dig it x4

Can you dig it? 

 

Thank you!!! ❤️ I need to figure out those particular lines . . . . 

On 6/23/2020 at 6:14 PM, Scalyfreak said:

Glad Midsommar!

 

Being a professional song writer automatically makes you a very cool person. So now you're stuck with me, because I have heard that is contagious.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so thank you for improving my average!

[Heidi]

I went on a milk run today  -- not a euphemism! I have a share in a dairy herd and the closest pick up point for my milk (raw, A2, every batch tested, humanely raised, beautiful girls!) is a 2.5 hour drive. So that's my whole day, really. There was knitting, and I set up the sourdough sponge before I left, so the dough was ready for first rise when I got home. It's just about ready for shaping and second rise now, and I'm tired. The milk helps with the headaches, which were rampant yesterday. 

 

Not-smoking is going less well.

 

I wrote 2404 words Monday, but only 39 words yesterday, and haven't written any yet today. 

In other news, I've been asked to co-edit a Special Series on public philosophy at the American Philosophy Association blog, and I've said yes, as though I didn't have anything better to do, and despite the fact that it pays nothing. I'm insane, clearly.

 

I've got a draft of the cover letter for Electric Literature (assistant editor, part time and remote, so exactly my speed), and need to do a couple things for the submission (read a story, make a headline and a dek), and that's not happening tonight because I'm wiped out.

 

I'm looking forward to the chat tomorrow.

Also, I'm thinking of opening a patreon for Ask A Writer-Philosopher. 

Because keeping the lights on is cool.

[Scaly Freak]

44 minutes ago, Heidi said:

Thank you!!! ❤️ I need to figure out those particular lines . . . . 

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so thank you for improving my average!

 

This means my average is partially based on cats.

 

The cats are now reminding me they bring up the average. 

[Heidi]

Milk run, two loaves of sourdough, and knitting.

Life is good.

[Heidi]

The texture is really nice in this batch.

[Scaly Freak]

Oh, your bread looks lovely. I can smell it from your picture.  

[darkfoxx]

Ok, so I thought I *may* want second lunch - and now I definitely do. Yum on both accounts. 

 

 

[Heidi]

In this week's vegetable delivery, there is a beautiful head of cabbage it's so gorgeous that u decided to make come slaw with it and the lovely carrots that came, too. So I looked up a recipe for slaw dressing, and I don't have enough mayonnaise, so I looked up a recipe for that, too, since I have more eggs than I know what to do with.

 

My first batch of mayonnaise turned out to have excellent texture (thanks for the tips @darkfoxx!) but next time I'm definitely reducing or skipping the mustard.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Conrats on the good mayo.

[darkfoxx]

Yay! Glad it worked out

[Heidi]

Everything is turning into a project today:

 

Open email: find the signup for the Writing Group for Philosophers. Said yes, of course, since I'm about to find myself writing more Philosophy this summer (and possibly beyond) than I had anticipated or imagined.

 

Open Twitter: Find out that Le Guin's story The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas has been heralded as a condemnation of Utilitarianism. Apparently I have been under a rock or something, because this (wildly incorrect, misguided, and so-much-less-than-hot) hot take has been circulating in the discourse for at least six years, and it's being built on and referenced as gospel. WTF? Le Guin is a favorite author of mine, and I am a card-carrying (allegedly "most thorough-going living")Utilitarian, and this is the first I've heard of it. Also, my cursory research traced this notion back to a hyper-fundamental religious publication from six years ago, so how on earth does this end up in the literature as a real take? Anyway, No. I started writing my rant reply and it turned into an actually article, so I'm typing it up and sending it to a Philosopher Friend to read and comment on before sending it to a publication for peer review. (N.B. I'd love feedback from the general audience, so let me know if you want a link to the WIP.)

 

Open notebook, because I'm supposed to be writing about Hades and Persephone, not playing around on Twitter or goofing off with Philosopher-Writers and ogling their projects (which I totally was, because Philosopher-Writers are a particular breed of neat-o.) : Hi, I'm your novel. I'm not actual a novel!! I'm what you thought when you originally dreamed me up -- I'm so dramatic I'm a graphic novel! Yay! Let's find an artist! (f f s . . .  I know nothing about finding an artist or publishing in the graphic novel realm . . . .) Sending out love to the universe and a couple beginning messages to find an artist while converting everything back to storyboard format, and hey, that's starting to work better. A lot better. Thanks, GraphicNovel!

 

Pick up knitting because wow, this has been some day already, right? Knitting along, having just started the third skein, thinking about the fact that Minneapolis City Council voted (unanimously!!) to change the city charter to allow for the wholesale disbanding of the police, replacing the department with services and counselors. I mean how cool is that? I wonder if other cities will foll. . . HEY! What The Heck?

 

[For the record, no, this is not supposed to be in two pieces. This is the cable that holds the stitches and it is (usually!) attached to the metal bit that holds the needle tip. This is a bit of a tragedy in my world. Fortunately, I have another cable the same length, for a smaller-sized needle set, and a set of adapters. Most of the piece (196 stitches) fell off the cable, and putting it back on without messing the whole thing up took no small amount of fiddling and magic. I've knit about 750 yards since I cast this on a week ago, so maybe the cable was just giving up in protest. I kind of sympathize.]

 

Go to the knitting basket for the replacement bits: O, man, this yarn needs to be in a different basket altogether, and that project needs to be taken off the needle and rewound because I'm never going to have enough yarn to complete it and am probably not going to order any more for months at least. Well, okay, at least not order any more of that particular yarn for several months, at least not unless I get a book contract to go write about the women's collective in Uruguay that makes it.

 

Open Agraphia project document and start to list the writing projects I'm working on this summer. Holy cow, it's a long list. I'm going to need clipboards to keep track of it all.

 

What is up with this day?

 

Never mind. I'm going to go put the laundry in the dryer and probably decide to mop the floor or make chicken salad with the mustardy mayonnaise, because I'm hungry and that sounds pretty good, especially on a slice of fresh sourdough. The second batch of mayonnaise came out beautifully, for those of you who were wondering. No mustard used at all, but I think I'll need to break down and buy something lighter than olive oil for future batches. It's yummy, but has a very distinctively olive presence.

[Scaly Freak]

8 minutes ago, Heidi said:

Never mind. I'm going to go put the laundry in the dryer and probably decide to mop the floor or make chicken salad with the mustardy mayonnaise, because I'm hungry and that sounds pretty good, especially on a slice of fresh sourdough. The second batch of mayonnaise came out beautifully, for those of you who were wondering. No mustard used at all, but I think I'll need to break down and buy something lighter than olive oil for future batches. It's yummy, but has a very distinctively olive presence.

 

You say that as if it's a bad thing...?

 

And that sounds like a pretty exhausting day altogether. I hope the mopping is boring and the chicken salad uneventfully delicious.

[darkfoxx]

Tragedy! I hate it when I’m betrayed cruelly by my crafting tools. 

 

Also: I know an artist who also does graphic novels - I think you’d actually like her IRL - @valeriefromfaraway - *and* she’s a NF(ish) Nerd. I met her at Camp as a fellow Wizard (counselor). She’s in NC as well. Ping me if you want better contact info - www.tinywonder.org is her site; she’s also hosting weekly singalongs from her attic on YouTube. She’s delightful.