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My brother got a letter from the IRS. Knocks on my door, and when I open it he just stands there holding it out to me and says “what the fuck is this?” I say we should send it to the tax lady. Ask if he wants to email her or if I should. “You can if you don’t mind. I don’t know anything about fucking taxes.” 
“neither do I, that’s why we have a tax lady.”

 

I just... ugh. I’m going to cc him on it so he can see what I say. Even though it’s going to be “hi, he got this letter. What do we do now?” It’s nothing major, just looks like she forgot to fill out a health insurance related form for him? But his reaction just has me shaking my head in despair. 
 

4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You can totally do it.

 

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:


I agree. Do the damn thing, don’t wait for him.

I know I *can* do it. I just don’t know how lazy I’m going to be when the drill gets here. ;)

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20 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I know I *can* do it. I just don’t know how lazy I’m going to be when the drill gets here. ;)

We all know you can do it.  I am very confident that you can not only do it, but do it faster and with less hassle than having your dad do it.  It's really super easy.  If you have questions and Tank isn't available (because you decide to do it in the middle of the night for extra spite) I would be happy to field any questions you have.

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First couple of times using a power tool can be terrifying, especially for us girls. It’s just not something we were brought up to believe we could do. You can do it. Think how powerful and competent you will feel when you accomplish it. :)  I usually hammer in a finish nail to start a hole for drilling. It’s easier for me to get it straight that way.
 

And you have your very own power tool! Impressive!

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I  used to do stuff like that all the time when married to the ex...mostly because the whole patience not being my virtue and I got yelled at less when I would do it rather than him (strange in retrospect)

But you should totally do it

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Decided not to go back to sleep after therapy. Ordered coffee + food because I’m out of it until I pick up groceries tonight. Emailed the tax lady about my brother’s issue, and then hit a wall and all I want to do is go back to sleep. But I have to at least be awake to fetch my food when it gets here. Bahhhhhh. 
 

Replies later. Brain is turned off for now. 

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Apologies if anyone heard me screaming just now. 
 

A) my brother didn’t send the tax lady the “missing” form. Crisis averted. 
 

B.) “If the psych office says to ask my PCP for medication refills because they don’t have anyone that can do it right now, what do I do?” 
 

option 1: set up a new psychiatrist when you find out in November that your guy is leaving in March, don’t wait until July to figure it out. 
 

option 2: send your doctor a fucking message online?

 

 

ugh. 
 

I have to go pick up a grocery order in the next hour or so. Don’t wanna. 

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Okay kids, what are your thoughts on genetic testing?

 

Context: my paternal grandmother died of colon cancer, and she tested positive for some called Lynch’s Syndrome. It’s been a while since I looked it up but basically it’s a mutation that rockets up your chances of getting colon cancer to something like 80%, and increases the odds of a number of other cancers by varying degrees. 
 

Roommate apparently remembered that this is a thing and texted me last night to say that a friend of hers has it and was interviewed on some genetics podcast. She asked if I’d gotten tested and if I was going to. Since her friend knows she has this mutation and is at risk for all these things she can be pushy about getting tests/scans/etc done - apparently she had something removed during a recent colonoscopy that would have turned cancerous within a year. So that’s a plus for getting the test done. But otherwise, I can’t think of a good reason to? I don’t want to fuck up future health insurance if it turns out I’m predisposed to something(s), and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life worrying that every weird pain is cancer. The way I see it, having this thing doesn’t 100% guarantee I will get cancer of any kind. Living a super healthy life doesn’t guarantee that I won’t ever get cancer of any kind. So I’m not sure what knowing I’m “at risk” for things actually does for me, especially considering I already have family history of a bunch of cancers anyway. (And have that whole health anxiety thing.)
 

I’m going to do more research on it before my appointment with my new PCP on Tuesday. Previous doctor recommended I at least consider it. But I’m curious whether anyone else has looked into it for any reason and what you think about it. 

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2 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Whatever you decide, you should consider the affect on your anxiety as the primary reason to do it or not.

Oh absolutely. I talked about it with my therapist today, and I’ll rehash with her next week after I talk with my PCP and do my research into it. This is definitely something I can’t just rush into. 

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Found a thing my therapist disagrees with y'all on, finally. She thinks I should put my father to work and make him put up my blind just because I can. I'm torn. On one hand, it would be a nice fuck you to take care of it all on my own; otoh, I'm sure he'd do it in an attempt to heal his bruised ego and pretend he's a good father. I guess we'll see what happens when the drill finally gets here. 

 

I also think I solved the exercise bike issue. While complaining to my therapist about it I realized that the afterthought back porch has a door to a small concrete landing kind of thing outside and I could keep it on the porch and drag it out there instead. My father is okay with this plan. He said he'd been cleaning a space in the garage for me to use the bike and then he got mad when I shot that down. I'm sorry, our garage is musty, mildewy, dusty, full of bugs, and has cobwebs to rival any haunted mansion. And I have asthma. Fuck that noise. I played DDR down there in high school, and even then it was a little iffy. Nothing has been cleaned in the 14 years since, so no. 

 

holy shit I hate my house. And the people in it.

 

In other news, it's so fucking adorable when Fat Kitty uses his stairs to get on and off my bed. Cats are the best. 

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Does anyone ever get this feeling where they just don’t want to go to bed? I’m tired, the cats have finished breakfast, I can finally try to sleep. But I’m literally just sitting in the middle of my bed and have no desire to do the actual lying down and closing my eyes part. It could possibly be executive dysfunction but that doesn’t feel like all of it. But there’s nothing happening today that I’m trying to avoid, there’s nothing else going on. I just don’t want to go to bed. 
 

brains are dumb. 

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11 hours ago, fleaball said:

Found a thing my therapist disagrees with y'all on, finally. She thinks I should put my father to work and make him put up my blind just because I can. I'm torn. On one hand, it would be a nice fuck you to take care of it all on my own; otoh, I'm sure he'd do it in an attempt to heal his bruised ego and pretend he's a good father. I guess we'll see what happens when the drill finally gets here. 

 

You can't lose. Either you make him do it, and win because you made him do something, or you do it yourself, and win because you don't need him.

11 hours ago, fleaball said:

He said he'd been cleaning a space in the garage for me to use the bike

No he hadn't. He just said that because he thought about doing it at some point and felt guilty about not having done anything. 

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14 hours ago, fleaball said:

Okay kids, what are your thoughts on genetic testing?

 

Context: my paternal grandmother died of colon cancer, and she tested positive for some called Lynch’s Syndrome. It’s been a while since I looked it up but basically it’s a mutation that rockets up your chances of getting colon cancer to something like 80%, and increases the odds of a number of other cancers by varying degrees. 

 

My $0.02 - I don't see the point if you already know that you have a family history. 

 

My context: Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer. Since I know my medical history, whether I have a genetic predisposition or not, I'm still going to act the same way (i.e. push for mammograms earlier). It doesn't really help to know, because it's not like not having the mutation means I won't get breast cancer. 

 

As a disclaimer, I think that for people who do not have the luxury of knowing their medical history, genetic testing is a great tool to help them inform their doctors. 

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

Does anyone ever get this feeling where they just don’t want to go to bed?

 

Yes, it happens to me regularly. I will end up reading until like 2 in the morning. 

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I really want to go back in time and punch my mother in the face for making my brother and incompetent child who can’t do anything for himself. 
 

- this post brought to you by flea waiting in the CVS drive through to pick up his antidepressant that he’s gone without for two and a half days because he never got his shit together

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hahaha fml. I googled how long to fast before my blood tests tomorrow (blood sugar & cholesterol) because of course I forgot to ask before the office closed. And I wind up on a page that says high blood sugar can lead pancreatic cancer. Which I suspected anyway but seeing it in writing isn’t fun. Good thing that bike is coming tomorrow. 

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17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You can't lose. Either you make him do it, and win because you made him do something, or you do it yourself, and win because you don't need him.

Pretty much this. Got an update today saying the drill is arriving tomorrow as well so I might guilt him into doing it since I have to go to the doctor. 

 

Quote

No he hadn't. He just said that because he thought about doing it at some point and felt guilty about not having done anything. 

I mean, he’s been doing *something* down there because he keeps coming to me with a bunch of manuals and cords and stuff to go through and see if we need. (No, Dad, we very clearly have a flat screen TV now so we don’t need this manual with an old style TV pictured on it.) I don’t disagree that there probably isn’t space for an entire bike there though. 
 

17 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

My $0.02 - I don't see the point if you already know that you have a family history. 

 

My context: Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer. Since I know my medical history, whether I have a genetic predisposition or not, I'm still going to act the same way (i.e. push for mammograms earlier). It doesn't really help to know, because it's not like not having the mutation means I won't get breast cancer. 

 

As a disclaimer, I think that for people who do not have the luxury of knowing their medical history, genetic testing is a great tool to help them inform their doctors. 
 

Okay so we’re pretty much on the same page here. That’s helpful for me. 
 

Im thinking I might make an appointment with a genetic counselor but not commit to a test yet. I was poking around Mass General's website and apparently there are 5 genes involved in Lynch Syndrome and what you’re at risk for aside from colon cancer depends on which gene is busted. Didn’t know that before yesterday. So that’s fun and not anxiety-inducing at all. 

 

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Yes, it happens to me regularly. I will end up reading until like 2 in the morning. 

High five. 

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Apparently I’ve angered the fruit gods. Picked up my grocery order Wednesday evening. A little over 24 hours later I was fucking stoked to eat some cherries. As I’m grabbing some to put in a bowl, my finger goes through one that is not only moldy but basically so rotten it’s disintegrating. Entire bag gets tossed in the trash and I am sad. Fine, I’ll have some of the grapes that I bought. Start picking them off the stick thing and see several moldy, rotting grapes all hanging out together. Grapes join the cherries in the trash barrel. Check my strawberries - no mold, but I probably have to finish off the remaining pound and a half of them ASAP because strawberries always get moldy on me if I look at them wrong. 
 

I guess I’m not allowed to have cherries this year. Sad flea.

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Sounds like the people picking groceries for delivery unload the crap fruit on their customers.

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Not sure where you pick up groceries but I use Walmart (no judging, I'm broke on a good day), you can tell them what was moldy/spoiled and they will credit you for it. Worth checking into since you were unable to eat it.

 

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3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sounds like the people picking groceries for delivery unload the crap fruit on their customers.

Possible. But also you couldn’t see it in either bag until you started going through them. 
 

2 hours ago, RES said:

Not sure where you pick up groceries but I use Walmart (no judging, I'm broke on a good day), you can tell them what was moldy/spoiled and they will credit you for it. Worth checking into since you were unable to eat it.

 

Oh yeah, I’m gonna call when I get home. I took photos of it all in case they want to give me shit, but they probably won’t. 

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Holy shit. The only other person in this waiting room is Mega Karen. 
 

All medical offices pretty much are requiring people to change out their mask for a fresh office-provided one. There’s a guy at the front door having people do it all. And this woman flipped out because she’s already wearing a mask. And they’re expensive or something? Idk. Lady just put it in your bag and wear it later. And then she went to check in and they were asking her all the screening questions and she’s losing her mind and keeps cutting off the receptionist because she already answered these questions when she made the appointment. I’ve never seen anyone so inconvenienced by minor issues. Even my father doesn’t do this. 

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They stabbed me twice in the arm before giving up and going through my hand. I am not a happy flea. 
 

Now to refresh the app every five minutes waiting for test results. Cross your fingers. 

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I just realized I forgot to get coffee on the way home. And now it’s too late to have any if I want to sleep tonight. 😭 I am not awake enough for this. 

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My triglycerides are too high and my HDL is pretty low, but my total cholesterol is 179 which I don’t understand but can’t complain about. 
 

A1c went from 6.5 to 6.6, not great overall but considering what the last 6 months have been, I’ll take it. 
 

One liver value is still too high but the other is back in the normal range. 
 

My weight hasn’t changed significantly in either direction so I wasn’t expecting anything too drastic, but at the same time I was also kind of expecting something to be insanely awful like “ha you dumb fat bitch you’re going to die next week!” 

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And. 
 

My drill did not come with a drill bit. Someone told me not to buy any because it should come with one and if not he has a million downstairs. 
 

That same someone never bothered looking for said bits, has no idea where they are, and is now losing his shit over it. 
 

So I paid $30 for a fancy paperweight and I still don’t have a blind in my window, nor any way to put it there. 
 

Reeeeaaaaallllly wishing I’d had coffee today. 

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