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fleaball

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5 hours ago, fleaball said:

Apparently it’s my fault?

 

”I'm sorry. I reacted that way because I was trying not to have an anxiety attack. You scared the shit out of me when you opened the door which is why I've asked you to warn me first”

 

Yeah, no. Eat a dick. 

They learn this on day one of narcissist school. How to make everything someone else's fault is the first thing they go over after taking roll call.

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

I’m sorely tempted to ask my father if my brother said anything about getting his meds. Part of me feels like a dick because I told him I’d get them and I told him which pharmacy I’d prefer to pick them up at. Another part of me says fuck it, I told him I wasn’t getting it and despite his ‘apology’ I never said otherwise after that, maybe don’t bite the hand that feeds you. 

Stay firm with your boundaries. Your father and your brother are not your responsibility. You owe them nothing.*

 

 

*If you end up doing it for them anyway just to shut them up I will not judge.

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2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

They learn this on day one of narcissist school. How to make everything someone else's fault is the first thing they go over after taking roll call.

i actually laughed when I got the text. It’s such a perfectly textbook not-apology. 

 

2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Stay firm with your boundaries. Your father and your brother are not your responsibility. You owe them nothing.*

 

 

*If you end up doing it for them anyway just to shut them up I will not judge.

I was honestly just curious whether my brother would have said anything at that point or if he was going to let it go/try to guilt me into it/etc. But I decided not to bring it up because fuck it, not my problem. 
 

I woke up around 3, just in time to hear him leaving; he got my father to drive him to pick it up. He’s going to be in a nasty fucking mood tonight but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

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holy shit. I’m sitting here thinking about a) how I feel like crap after eating dinner and also b.) how there’s a massive chill over the house because my brother is an angry toddler. And then for a few seconds I was suddenly afraid my mother would come bathing into my room and start yelling at my for pissing off my brother, with a touch of how I shouldn’t have eaten shitty food if I didn’t want to feel shitty. Like I legit just tensed up suddenly bracing for something that is literally impossible, because it’s so ingrained in me that being a dick to my brother results in getting screamed at. Yiiiikes. 

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update: I texted back earlier asking how I'm supposed to warn him when he wears noise cancelling headphones and never checks his texts. Never got a response. He's ignored my existence every time he's had to walk by me today, but when he actually had to speak to me he wasn't icy or anything. I'm getting whiplash from this kid. I'm still insanely curious what his conversation with my father was like, but I'm not going to start playing games and asking questions. I'm going to mind my own fucking business.

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

I'm going to mind my own fucking business.

Solid strategy

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10 hours ago, fleaball said:

holy shit. I’m sitting here thinking about a) how I feel like crap after eating dinner and also b.) how there’s a massive chill over the house because my brother is an angry toddler. And then for a few seconds I was suddenly afraid my mother would come bathing into my room and start yelling at my for pissing off my brother, with a touch of how I shouldn’t have eaten shitty food if I didn’t want to feel shitty. Like I legit just tensed up suddenly bracing for something that is literally impossible, because it’s so ingrained in me that being a dick to my brother results in getting screamed at. Yiiiikes. 

That is totally normal. It was a while after the divorce that I stopped expecting to get yelled at by the ex, and when something comes up in my current marriage that would have set off the ex I get panicked even though Sra. Tanque is very calm and reasonable when discussing it. Fortunately, she understands when this happens and we work it out, but the point is it's normal for your mind's defense systems to brace you for an attack of that kind for a while after the attacker is no longer in your life. 

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5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That is totally normal. It was a while after the divorce that I stopped expecting to get yelled at by the ex, and when something comes up in my current marriage that would have set off the ex I get panicked even though Sra. Tanque is very calm and reasonable when discussing it. Fortunately, she understands when this happens and we work it out, but the point is it's normal for your mind's defense systems to brace you for an attack of that kind for a while after the attacker is no longer in your life. 

Yeah, I’m no stranger to flashbacks like this. This is the first time there’s been a person attached to it though. Which actually makes sense because her anniversary is two weeks from today. But still. 

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