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Families are in a really tight spot. They have to work so no one will be able to watch their kids and if they are home, working and keeping your kids on track with distance learning is miserable. I don’t blame them for wanting school to be in session. Which doesn’t mean it’s a good decision until we get the pandemic under control.

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29 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Families are in a really tight spot. They have to work so no one will be able to watch their kids and if they are home, working and keeping your kids on track with distance learning is miserable. I don’t blame them for wanting school to be in session. Which doesn’t mean it’s a good decision until we get the pandemic under control.

 

One your left, a large rock. On your right, a very hard place.

 

Now choose. :( 

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4 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

I'm actually surprised where I live didn't go to a system like this. There is a horrible lack of community support in our area for any kind of plan that did not result in children being back at school full-time day one. To be honest, there is a significant lack of teacher support in my area across the board. So this would counteract the whole, "Teachers have it easy and they are complaining about having to go back to work" mentality that is pretty pervasive.*

 

*To be clear, I do not share this mentality. It's just really prevalent.

Yeah, some people don't realize what it means to be a teacher, and within that group are a subset unable to imagine putting themselves in another place. Come to think of it, it's more of a Venn diagram than a set and subset.

4 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Sounds like you live in my area, or at least one very similar to it. We also have a lot of grumbling around here that essential workers have no right to complain or be stressed since they've been allowed to keep working throughout this whole pandemic, especially the healthcare workers.  I just can't even.

See above, those without either the ability to imagine themselves in another's position, the ability to empathize, or both.

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Families are in a really tight spot. They have to work so no one will be able to watch their kids and if they are home, working and keeping your kids on track with distance learning is miserable. I don’t blame them for wanting school to be in session. Which doesn’t mean it’s a good decision until we get the pandemic under control.

And here you show yourself to be able to empathize and imagine yourself in another's position. 

54 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

One your left, a large rock. On your right, a very hard place.

 

Now choose. :( 

*Rolls perception to see if forward or back are options*

 

Today is a good day. Got some stuff done around the house, and got in a KB workout. I'm quickly getting back to where I was before I got sick with doing two rounds of the KB workout with the 20 pound bell. I'll probably be starting on doing the third round in a workout some time next week. I had planned to cook, but Sra. Tanque's mother needed some help with something, and it threw our timeline off, so we got pizza instead. I had an intuitive eating victory and listened to my fullness signals instead of going all out on eating. Even after my stomach felt full there was a temptation to keep eating. It's pizza, so I'm sure you can all relate.

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1 minute ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Yeah, some people don't realize what it means to be a teacher, and within that group are a subset unable to imagine putting themselves in another place. Come to think of it, it's more of a Venn diagram than a set and subset.

 

3600-black-z1-t-i-don-t-know-how-to-expl 

 

😥

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23 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

3600-black-z1-t-i-don-t-know-how-to-expl 

 

😥

Some folks just never choose to learn that.

 

Today is a good day. I did some stretches in the morning when Little Bit took her first nap. We spent the day together and enjoyed ourselves. It was fun. She is going upstairs for bed now, and has learned to climb the stairs for herself. Today was the first time she looked out through the rails of the stairs to look down on the living room. She is making the sweetest cooing sounds as she waves at me. I made dinner and wasn't super impressed by it. It claims it was Tuscan pork chops. It called for polenta, but neither of us care for that, so I made some Farro as the carb. I cooked some pork chops with salt and pepper in butter. I made a sauce which started with garlic, grape tomatoes, and canneloni beans, cooking them for about a minute in the drippings from the pork. I then added 1/2 c of chardonnay and let it reduce down, then 1/2 c of chicken broth and let it cook. Next I wilted some baby spinach in it, and added a last tbsp of butter to melt. I wasn't sure about it when I saw the recipe but decided to give it a chance. It wasn't bad, but I wasn't super impressed. Gonna go get some groceries tonight.

 

 

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45 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

It claims it was Tuscan pork chops. It called for polenta, but neither of us care for that, so I made some Farro as the carb. I cooked some pork chops with salt and pepper in butter. I made a sauce which started with garlic, grape tomatoes, and canneloni beans, cooking them for about a minute in the drippings from the pork. I then added 1/2 c of chardonnay and let it reduce down, then 1/2 c of chicken broth and let it cook. Next I wilted some baby spinach in it, and added a last tbsp of butter to melt. I wasn't sure about it when I saw the recipe but decided to give it a chance. It wasn't bad, but I wasn't super impressed. Gonna go get some groceries tonight.

 

There are ingredients missing. Aromatic herbs, for starters. I'm pretty sure there should have been "lots of garlic', instead of just "garlic" as well ;) 

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4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I made dinner and wasn't super impressed by it.

I'm glad you share the disappointments as well as the successes.  It helps me keep grounded that not every meal is going to be spectacular, even for those with high proficiency modifiers in food preparation

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10 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I'm glad you share the disappointments as well as the successes.  It helps me keep grounded that not every meal is going to be spectacular, even for those with high proficiency modifiers in food preparation

same! I get so frustrated cooking sometimes but it's nice to see that even experienced folks end up frustrated too. Or at least disappointed

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22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

We spent the day together and enjoyed ourselves. It was fun. She is going upstairs for bed now, and has learned to climb the stairs for herself. Today was the first time she looked out through the rails of the stairs to look down on the living room. She is making the sweetest cooing sounds as she waves at me.

Stop, i can’t handle the feels ❤️ 

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22 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

There are ingredients missing. Aromatic herbs, for starters. I'm pretty sure there should have been "lots of garlic', instead of just "garlic" as well ;) 

I had it again for dinner at work tonight. It was better, as the flavors that were there merged better (and I was hungrier).

18 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I'm glad you share the disappointments as well as the successes.  It helps me keep grounded that not every meal is going to be spectacular, even for those with high proficiency modifiers in food preparation

I'm by no means perfect in the kitchen.

8 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

same! I get so frustrated cooking sometimes but it's nice to see that even experienced folks end up frustrated too. Or at least disappointed

Thanks. I still have a lot to learn.

49 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

Stop, i can’t handle the feels ❤️ 

They were good feels, for sure.

 

Today is a good day. Little bit was a lot fussier, mainly when one person had her and said person needed to do something without her. She got clingy and mad when she couldn't stay with the first person. From what we understand, this is normal separation anxiety for this stage of development. I've also discovered when she's throwing a tantrum because she's mad, just leaving her on the floor to throw it concludes things a lot faster, likely because she's quicker to be distracted that way. Lunch was ok. The first side was a "Country Loaf" that was in the freezer section. You thaw it for a couple of hours then heat it up in the oven. It's really good. The other side was broccoli slaw (a mix with shredded broccoli and a few other things) dressed with olive oil, lemon juice, maple syrup, and mustard. The ratios were off and I wasn't satisfied with the dressing, it was a little strong on acid. It could have used less lemon juice and slightly less mustard. The main dish was chicken thighs, cooked in avocado oil then I threw Teriyaki sauce and honey mustard dressing in the skillet once the chicken was done. This was really good, there just wasn't as much chicken as I would have liked. 

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11 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I've also discovered when she's throwing a tantrum because she's mad, just leaving her on the floor to throw it concludes things a lot faster, likely because she's quicker to be distracted that way.

They are also just so full of feelings at that age that they really have need to get some of it out. So maybe it’s just that leaving her gives her the space to express the feelings and then be done with it. 
For emma it always really helped (and helps) to simply acknowledge “oh I see you’re really upset” or something like that and wait it out, maybe offer arms to cry in. Being heard is gold in every relationship :) 

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When my kids were little and had tantrums I just ignored them. I stayed close by in case they really did need something and to make sure they were safe. It turned out to be a rather short lived stage that they outgrew when they realized the tantrum wasn’t going to get them what they wanted. 

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Re: separation anxiety. When I dropped my youngest off for first day of kindergarten he ran off without even looking back. I was the one with separation anxiety. :) He had a great time.

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10 hours ago, KB Girl said:

They are also just so full of feelings at that age that they really have need to get some of it out. So maybe it’s just that leaving her gives her the space to express the feelings and then be done with it. 
For emma it always really helped (and helps) to simply acknowledge “oh I see you’re really upset” or something like that and wait it out, maybe offer arms to cry in. Being heard is gold in every relationship :) 

I do that to, I try to name the emotion I think she is feeling.

5 hours ago, Emma said:

When my kids were little and had tantrums I just ignored them. I stayed close by in case they really did need something and to make sure they were safe. It turned out to be a rather short lived stage that they outgrew when they realized the tantrum wasn’t going to get them what they wanted. 

I'm hoping not reacting much to the tantrum will shorten their stay.

5 hours ago, Emma said:

Re: separation anxiety. When I dropped my youngest off for first day of kindergarten he ran off without even looking back. I was the one with separation anxiety. :) He had a great time.

Little Bit has it for sure right now.

 

Today is a good day. Our church had a kids event, and we decided to go so we could get out of the house as a family and so the baby could see something other than the inside of our house. It was great to see people from church. I wouldn't normally have wanted to go since I am working this afternoon, but the adults needed to see people too. It was very good for us. Because of that, we got food out and I didn't cook. I have no regrets.

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31 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Today is a good day. Our church had a kids event, and we decided to go so we could get out of the house as a family and so the baby could see something other than the inside of our house. It was great to see people from church. I wouldn't normally have wanted to go since I am working this afternoon, but the adults needed to see people too. It was very good for us. Because of that, we got food out and I didn't cook. I have no regrets.

 

Good, you deserve to treat yourself to a little social and food indulgence. I'm glad you are having a good day!

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2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm hoping not reacting much to the tantrum will shorten their stay.

I always figured that a kid in a tantrum was overwhelmed by their feelings, and being out of control like that was probably scary for them. Seeing you in control and not scared or worried would help them realize that they are safe everything is okay after all.

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8 hours ago, Emma said:

When my kids were little and had tantrums I just ignored them. I stayed close by in case they really did need something and to make sure they were safe. It turned out to be a rather short lived stage that they outgrew when they realized the tantrum wasn’t going to get them what they wanted. 

I think this is really essential in parenting and I'm reassured to see so many down to earth parents in this thread.  

 

My sister used to work in an emergency room and she had a lady come in once with her young daughter. The lady said of her daughter, "Every time I try to drop her off at school, she screams! She hasn't been to school in two weeks!" (This was years before COVID.) Can you imagine allowing your child to stay home from school all day just because they kicked up a fuss like that? And feeling so unable to help your child manage their own emotions and give them boundaries that you ended up in the ER about it??

 

You guys are all doing such a great job with your kids, keep it up!

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23 hours ago, deftona said:

 

Good, you deserve to treat yourself to a little social and food indulgence. I'm glad you are having a good day!

Thank you for those kind words.

20 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

I always figured that a kid in a tantrum was overwhelmed by their feelings, and being out of control like that was probably scary for them. Seeing you in control and not scared or worried would help them realize that they are safe everything is okay after all.

I think that's true of the younger children, for sure. In fact I've read that the best way to help a child in tantrum is to be calm, and name their emotions in a validating way. I've tried to make that a practice even before tantrums.

20 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

I think this is really essential in parenting and I'm reassured to see so many down to earth parents in this thread.  

 

My sister used to work in an emergency room and she had a lady come in once with her young daughter. The lady said of her daughter, "Every time I try to drop her off at school, she screams! She hasn't been to school in two weeks!" (This was years before COVID.) Can you imagine allowing your child to stay home from school all day just because they kicked up a fuss like that? And feeling so unable to help your child manage their own emotions and give them boundaries that you ended up in the ER about it??

 

You guys are all doing such a great job with your kids, keep it up!

I believe you about the ER story, some folks just don't have a clue. I always knew I wanted to be a laid back parent. Right when Little Bit was born we had a really good small group at church on parenting. It was so helpful, and very in line with what kind of parents we want to be. It was curriculum from a church in Alabama called Church of the Highlands, a church which gives it's materials for free to other churches. It was very much a non-legalistic style. The pastor said they had two rules for their children: honesty and honor. The kids were expected to tell the truth, and be respectful to others. Rules were explained, rather than enforced. In other words, they would not say, "Don't leave the shopping cart in the parking lot." They would say, "We return the shopping cart to the corral where it belongs because otherwise people can't park, their cars get dinged, and the people who put the carts back in front of the store have to do extra work. We honor and respect people by doing our part." The pastor said it's a lot of extra work up front, but applied consistently leads to a lot less heartache further down the line. Consequences for misbehavior are about restoration of relationship, rather than punishment. He told an example of a teenager who had said something horribly disrespectful to his mother. The consequence was he had to, with his own money, take his mother out to an expensive restaurant and apologize to her over the meal. The point was as quickly as possible to restore the relationship.

Discipline is a focus early on, then from about five to twelve they advocate an education model "This is why we do what we do" then a coaching model from the teen years onward. 

 

There is of course more to it than that but I hope I've conveyed the gist of the idea.

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Today is a good day. We had church online in the morning, then leftovers for lunch. I took a much needed nap in the early afternoon. Dinner was really good. The side was fresh peas, boiled for a bit then put in a bowl with a chopped red bell pepper, then dressed with lime vinaigrette. The main dish was potsticker soup. 

 

I started by putting 48 oz of chicken broth in a stock pot. I added a piece of whole ginger (Peeled). I minced the white part of some green onions (not scallions, though that was what I ordered, it was these [not my pic]) and put that in the pot, and sliced the green part to add to the soup at the end. I also added some minced garlic and 1 tbsp of soy sauce. The sodium content of the broth and the sauce was such that I did not have to add any salt. I brought everything to a boil, reduced the heat, and simmered for 10 minutes. I then added roughly four cups of coarsely chopped napa cabbage and a bunch of potstickers. The recipe called for frozen and fortunately I couldn't find any, so I went with some fresh ones instead. I brought it up to a boil and let the potstickers warm up (They had been in the fridge). It made an incredible soup. 

 

Also, what I cooked on Friday was my leftovers for today. The broccoli slaw was much better, the flavors had time to balance in the fridge. That with the chicken made great tacos.

 

 

Spoiler

I really liked that soup.

 

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6 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Consequences for misbehavior are about restoration of relationship, rather than punishment

This is a concept that we have been trying to implement as well, although it really is a lot more work than just doling out punishment

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43 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

This is a concept that we have been trying to implement as well, although it really is a lot more work than just doling out punishment

 

After reading this, I have a theory about why so few parents, teachers, and other authority figures choose to punish rather than to try and restore the relationship...

 

Parenting is a skill-based full-time job, and any one who thinks it's easy is sorely mistaken.

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8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I really liked that soup.

 

 

Spoiler

It sounds amazing. I'm pinching this recipe also!

 

 

12 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The pastor said they had two rules for their children: honesty and honor. The kids were expected to tell the truth, and be respectful to others. Rules were explained, rather than enforced.

 

I wish more parents took this road, I really do.

 

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18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I believe you about the ER story, some folks just don't have a clue. I always knew I wanted to be a laid back parent. Right when Little Bit was born we had a really good small group at church on parenting. It was so helpful, and very in line with what kind of parents we want to be. It was curriculum from a church in Alabama called Church of the Highlands, a church which gives it's materials for free to other churches. It was very much a non-legalistic style. The pastor said they had two rules for their children: honesty and honor. The kids were expected to tell the truth, and be respectful to others. Rules were explained, rather than enforced. In other words, they would not say, "Don't leave the shopping cart in the parking lot." They would say, "We return the shopping cart to the corral where it belongs because otherwise people can't park, their cars get dinged, and the people who put the carts back in front of the store have to do extra work. We honor and respect people by doing our part." The pastor said it's a lot of extra work up front, but applied consistently leads to a lot less heartache further down the line. Consequences for misbehavior are about restoration of relationship, rather than punishment. He told an example of a teenager who had said something horribly disrespectful to his mother. The consequence was he had to, with his own money, take his mother out to an expensive restaurant and apologize to her over the meal. The point was as quickly as possible to restore the relationship.

Discipline is a focus early on, then from about five to twelve they advocate an education model "This is why we do what we do" then a coaching model from the teen years onward. 

 

There is of course more to it than that but I hope I've conveyed the gist of the idea.

Thank you for sharing this! I don't have any kids yet but I'd like to one day and that really dials in on what type of parent I'd like to be too!

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14 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:


 

  Reveal hidden contents

it sounds amazing

 

 

12 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

This is a concept that we have been trying to implement as well, although it really is a lot more work than just doling out punishment

The pastor, in presenting the content, said you can cry now (do all the work up front) or cry later (deal with an unruly and far more rebellious teenager). It's like investment, all the sacrifice is up front, then you (eventually) get to sit back and reap the reward of the work.

11 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

After reading this, I have a theory about why so few parents, teachers, and other authority figures choose to punish rather than to try and restore the relationship...

 

Parenting is a skill-based full-time job, and any one who thinks it's easy is sorely mistaken.

I agree completely.

6 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

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It sounds amazing. I'm pinching this recipe also!

 

 

 

I wish more parents took this road, I really do.

 

Me too. There are two problems, education and motivation. The education component is fairly easy, it's not hard content to learn. Like so many things, however, that which is simple to explain requires much work and effort, and many take the path of least resistance.

16 minutes ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Thank you for sharing this! I don't have any kids yet but I'd like to one day and that really dials in on what type of parent I'd like to be too!

You're welcome. 

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