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Vanity Is My Touchstone


Kestrel Grey

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On 8/21/2020 at 8:55 PM, Kestrel Grey said:

The victor stopped short, decided it wasn't worth chasing the other guy that close to a human, and turned around and half-way back up the original tree.  He proceeded to chitter as I passed - I'm not sure if it was aimed at the other squirrel still or at me for interrupting the fight.


Can't always tell... unless they start throwing things at you. 
Growing up they would chatter loudly and rain acorn shells and orange peels on me from the redwood I frequently climbed.

Good job sticking with it! Always forward.
 

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Week 3 Summary

Lindsay Lohan Mean Girls Confused GIF by Reactions | Gfycat

 

On 7/26/2020 at 11:47 PM, Kestrel Grey said:

The base layer goals, providing structure to be able to get through the day/week:

  1. Start getting ready for sleep at 12:30.  Includes skin care and teeth care.  Lights out by 1 am.
  2. Set alarm for 9:30 am.  (Left alone I would easily sleep 10+ hours.)
  3. Plan out my day and update my day-planner over my morning tea.
  4. Run 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes.  Aim for a long run at least every second week.
  5. Lift at the gym once a week. Currently this is Back Squat, Deadlift, OHP, and Rows.

The microhabits:

  1. When choosing what to eat, ask "will this make me look pretty?"  Most of the time go with the answer that makes me prettiest.
  2. At 1pm and 11pm, eat a veggie if I haven't had one already.
  3. Wipe down the sink after food prep.
  4. After putting Delboy back in his cage, pick up the cloth I use to clean the cage.
  5. After every time I change Monday to Friday, do 2 shoulder shrugs and 2 negative push-ups.

 

Maybe at 50%?  I'm not sure.  My schedule was a little off this week, and then went completely off after Friday's race combined with odd working hours over the weekend.  I can't even remember if I went to the gym at all.  I did pick up a couple more kettlebell sizes and was playing around with them earlier in the week.  My morning planning routine evaporated with the early morning shifts; now that they are over, the routine should fall back into place easily.

 

The Friday race made me very happy.  It was my only run this week but that's okay with me.  The fact that I still haven't lost any weight is frustrating though.  My meals need to be better.  It is a prepping issue I think.

 

Next week will have to start off easy as my right foot is still having a little bit of tendinitis from Friday's run.  The shoes were getting old and probably should have been replaced already, so yesterday we picked out a pair of Hoka Torrent 2.  Looking forward to breaking those in once my feet are up for it! 

 

The plan for Week 4:

Take it easy until feeling fully healed, then start breaking in my new running shoes.

Dentist on Wednesday to get those teeth pretty.

Spend more time on meal prep.  Take advantage of the extra downtime from exercise.

Get back into my routines.

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Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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Tuesday

 

Did my night and morning routines.  Got my car's oil changed, made tacos, planted a row of lettuce in hopes that some will come up before the frost descends, and prepped some overnight oats for the next few days.

 

No exercise other than watering my plants.  I had planned on going to the gym to lift, thinking that wouldn't be an issue with my foot, but forgot about my car being at the dealership all day for the oil change.

 

Oh, and I signed up for GMB Eating Skills.  Yes, I know what to do on my own but obviously haven't been doing it, so there isn't much to lose in having a little structure to my food planning.  Immediately both my demons flooded me with messages of failure and reminders of how frustrating and disappointing all previous attempts at online coaching have been.  Happily frustration and failure are not the worst things in the world, and the demons wandered off after my husband reminded me that it is safe for me to fail and be sad, because he is there to pick me back up and make it better.  

aww shrek gif - Bad Books, Good Times

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Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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On 8/26/2020 at 1:18 AM, Kestrel Grey said:

my husband reminded me that it is safe for me to fail and be sad, because he is there to pick me back up and make it better.  

 

LOVE this!!!

 

Also so happy for you to have completed your race and be taking a little time to let your body recover. So badass!

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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I was thinking about what you said about online coaching, and wanted to encourage you. Just as an example, I've signed up for 3 different courses on an exercise website (not personal coaching, but just an example). The first one was awesome, but I've hated the other two. This kind of thing depends on finding the right fit. The Eating Skills program could totally work for you. No way to know unless you try.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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4 hours ago, Xena said:

I was thinking about what you said about online coaching, and wanted to encourage you. Just as an example, I've signed up for 3 different courses on an exercise website (not personal coaching, but just an example). The first one was awesome, but I've hated the other two. This kind of thing depends on finding the right fit. The Eating Skills program could totally work for you. No way to know unless you try.

 

Thanks.  This is turning out to be a course instead of coaching too.  Not exactly what I expected.  It still looks potentially useful but I am going to have to be careful about not expecting it to completely solve my diet and weight concerns for all time.

Current Challenge: The Cliffs of Insanity  Previous Challenges: #1#2, #3#4#5#6, #7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15#16#17#18#19#20#21#22, #23, #24, #25, #26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33#34#35

Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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1 hour ago, Kestrel Grey said:

 

Thanks.  This is turning out to be a course instead of coaching too.  Not exactly what I expected.  It still looks potentially useful but I am going to have to be careful about not expecting it to completely solve my diet and weight concerns for all time.

I thought it was supposed to have coaching too.

I have been trying to do the skills from the Eating Skills book by Josh Hillis, and wondered if the course would keep me more accountable. I'll stay tuned to say how you like it. 

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Elastigirl:Just Living Life , Part II - Current Challenge: February 14 to March 20 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

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7 hours ago, Xena said:

I just got "Racing Weight" by Matt Fitzgerald.  Have you read it? If so, I'd be interested in your thoughts, and if not, I'll let you know if it seems useful. He seems to have several similar books, so if you've read one of the others, I imagine you would know most of his message.

 

I've read it. It is pretty sensible and focuses mostly on the "what to eat" (balanced healthy foods that leave you feeling full) and gives you a point system. Helpful in that the meal guidelines are tailored to runners who need more sustained energy than the sedentary population, and that he doesn't recommend going hungry during training. Some other useful tidbits.

 

I read it over and tried following the point system, but found tracking unwieldy for me.

 

He does include some helpful information in figuring out how much you might want to weigh to compete at your best, and reasonable targets based on your current bf%.

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Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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So I haven't done an update recently.  The fitness side of things petered off in the week before my long run and has been non-existent since.  I haven't even been doing push-ups etc when I change (partially because I have to push up on my knees and they are still scabby and sore).  Sleep disruptions and tiredness are getting worse.  Disappointing updates are so easy to "forget" to do but there are some lessons here that are worth reflecting on.

 

1. Skipping workouts because of tiredness/lack of time doesn't actually make me less tired or give me more time.  Oddly.  These past two weeks, I haven't been getting any more chores done nor feeling any more energetic.

 

2. Routines work well for me.  The evening skincare routine and the morning dayplanner routine have continued to be consistent.  Bonus win: a coworker commented on how well my skin has been looking recently.  Trying to figure out how to get exercise as a routine but it is harder since it isn't something I plan on doing 7 days a week.

 

3. I still struggle with the desire to impress people and avoid anything that I think makes me look bad.  This is a thing I thought I had gotten better at.  A coworker started training and eating right this year and has lost quite a bit of weight and gotten stronger.  She asked me about my OCR training and is interested in coming to an OCR class with me... so I promptly want to avoid any training in front of her because I feel like she will lose respect for me when she realizes I am not very good.  And I am disappointed in myself because she is a reminder of how much progress I could have made if I was consistent.  I still judge myself too harshly and assume others will too.

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Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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3 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

I still struggle with the desire to impress people and avoid anything that I think makes me look bad.  This is a thing I thought I had gotten better at.  A coworker started training and eating right this year and has lost quite a bit of weight and gotten stronger.  She asked me about my OCR training and is interested in coming to an OCR class with me... so I promptly want to avoid any training in front of her because I feel like she will lose respect for me when she realizes I am not very good.  And I am disappointed in myself because she is a reminder of how much progress I could have made if I was consistent.  I still judge myself too harshly and assume others will too.

 

I totally get this. In a way it's even getting worse for me because I've been slowing down as I've gotten older. It's normal, but it hurts my pride.

It makes no sense though (talking to myself here). I wouldn't judge someone else negatively who was working out hard but not about to perform at some specific level, so why would I think other people would judge me in that way??

I think what gets a little hard sometimes is when people assume I'll be fast because they know I train a lot.

 

...so anyway, I hear you!

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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42 minutes ago, Xena said:

I think what gets a little hard sometimes is when people assume I'll be fast because they know I train a lot.

 

That's a hard thing.  It's very easy to correlate passion with superstar talent, and it feels awkward to explain to people that you don't match that expectation.  As long as you know that people still admire you at any speed, and any awkwardness doesn't dampen your joy in running!

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Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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Awesome that you figured out that routines work for you and what those routines are. Yay for nice skin! As for wanting to impress people, I  think that's a life long skill most of us have to prpractice at.And just when we think we have it nailed, something pops up and we find ourselves working oh so hard to impress some random person😉 I am certainly much better at it, but even at 55, I still have my moments.

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Elastigirl:Just Living Life , Part II - Current Challenge: February 14 to March 20 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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Challenge Wrap-Up

 

Pin by Rafa Bordin on gifs | I feel pretty, Feelings, Old hollywood

 

It's been an odd challenge.  As I stated in the challenge set up, my energy and motivation for training was low.  I underestimated how low and haven't hit my lowered target on any week.  In fact, I haven't trained at all since my run two weeks ago.  That run went about as well as could be expected; I finished it without serious injury.  Cutting back on training expectations was supposed to free up time and ease my stress levels.  What it actually did was make my sleep more inconsistent and make me feel even lazier.

 

My primary goal had nothing to do with fitness however.  And yes, yes I do feel pretty.  My skin is looking decent and the bedtime routine is happening most nights.  I guess I do well with "one thing" goals even when everything else falls off.

 

The other routines/microhabits are hit and miss.  The morning day planner with tea routine goes well when I have tea.  The push-ups and pull-ups went well for the first couple weeks but haven't been happening since I skinned my knees and then hurt my neck a couple days ago (watching TV in an odd position).  The other ones I simply forgot about much of the time.

 

Nutrition - I have been more aware of my nutrition choices recently.  I read Josh Hillis' book at @Elastigirl's recommendation then joined GMB's eating skills program, but so far the information hasn't translated into actual improvement.  It's kinda stressing me out actually.

 

An odd challenge and an odd ending.  I feel a little lost.  I don't know really why this one didn't go better, or what my goals are/should be, or how to structure my next challenge.  All I know is that not making training a priority does not work for me, and I am going to have to find a way forward that does not rely on motivation because I currently have none.  I do like feeling pretty though. :) 

 

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Current Challenge: The Cliffs of Insanity  Previous Challenges: #1#2, #3#4#5#6, #7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15#16#17#18#19#20#21#22, #23, #24, #25, #26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33#34#35

Battle Log: Operation Fly-By-Night

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

― Neil Gaiman

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32 minutes ago, Kestrel Grey said:

I don't know really why this one didn't go better, or what my goals are/should be, or how to structure my next challenge.

 

I think we’ve all pretty much had a weird August. Something in the air, I guess. And in the same place you are, trying to figure out where I go next from here.

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1 hour ago, Kestrel Grey said:

I read Josh Hillis' book at @Elastigirl's recommendation then joined GMB's eating skills program, but so far the information hasn't translated into actual improvement.  It's kinda stressing me out actually.

 

It actually took a while for it to translate into improvement for me. I can't remember when I started, a few months ago , I think. It's just been in the last few weeks where I really feel like I have more of a handle of why I'm eating and when I am actually hungry. Like he said in the book, skills are like  learning to play an instrument. At first you feel sucky at it, and it really doesn't feel like you have any improvement, but as the skills become more ingrained and natural, then  you start to feel like you can slowly start to see an improvement. 

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Wisdom 15.5   Dexterity 11   Charisma 12   Strength 14  Constitution-11

Elastigirl:Just Living Life , Part II - Current Challenge: February 14 to March 20 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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