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ladyofthebog

Hobbit! Self Esteem! Good Times!

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Challenge! I’m here! I’m losing my mind bit by bit but mostly chugging along as I do. I’m back for this challenge primarily to really focus on improving my self esteem. My life is good. I’m financially secure. I live in a beautiful area. I have a loving marriage. A beautiful child. I have meaningful work. I work out everyday Monday- Friday, my body feels good. The interlocking parts of my life, for the most part, move together smoothly. And yet I still struggle with deeply negative self talk about myself and my worth. I have trouble feeling like I belong, like I’m an imposter in my own life? Like everything could disperse and scatter- like autumn leaves or a house of cards. So, the question I’m posing this challenge:

 Is self esteem something like a muscle? Can I work it? Flip it and reverse it? Here’s hoping. 

 Plan:

Body: continue to workout. I’ve been doing Beachbody barreblend continuously since the first of this year. Partly due to the fact that I’m avoiding the gym, partly because I love it and it’s easy to fit into my day. My body feels good from it- and I’ve seen real physically apparent results which is always nice. Keep doing this- and add in yoga x2/week. Run x1 week (my husband’s work schedule is such that he starts work super early- company is on east coast time- and I can’t be bothered to run in the heat). 

Self esteem: puntos x1  for what I do, tallied when I remember to post

  • journaling
  • sign up for therapy (muchos)
  • do my self esteem workbook (at least once a week)
  • act of self compassion
  • in the midst of negative self-talk, punto for recognizing it and observing it
  • meditation session
  • talk about self esteem issues with someone other than myself
  • speak up with honest communication about my needs/perspective

Hobbit: do something hobbitey each week because

 

Hope all are well! Thank you for following along!

Pictures because I always post pictures. I think it’s nice.

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Out picking berries

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So I’m in my thirties and I finally figured out that this is the best hair style for both aesthetics and comfort. Highly recommend. 

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This post I wasn’t really clear- but mostly I meant that I bought the same suit as every mom there and I have finally three years later leaned in hard for the mom aesthetic 

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River times

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Beach times

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I have an interest in plants. This is a PNW native, iron wood. A remarkable plant. 

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1 hour ago, ladyofthebog said:

 Is self esteem something like a muscle? Can I work it? Flip it and reverse it? 

 

Yes, yes, and yes.

 

I can't tell you how to do that for yourself, because you have to figure out what works for you. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it's possible, and if you're interested in what worked for me, I'm happy to share. Meditating, and actively looking for negative self-talk and immediately stopping it when I notice it, are the biggest things that turned things around for me.

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2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

actively looking for negative self-talk and immediately stopping it when I notice it,

This. 🔼 I was so used to doing it that it took awhile for me to recognize it for what it was.

 

Oh & following!😊

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4 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

 Is self esteem something like a muscle? Can I work it? Flip it and reverse it? Here’s hoping. 

ABSOLUTELY! But the challenge, I believe, is that working it out, flexing it and growing it is not the same for everybody.
For example:
"You look great today" I mean it, but do you feel it? To some a complement will lift them up right away. To many, they will need to hear it more than once.
And then there are those that shrug off positive words...Some are built this way, complements do nothing, but the rest may have a condition that can be improved with time and working other areas of self esteem along with accepting complements.
Many more areas but that one, IMO, is huge
 

4 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

in the midst of negative self-talk, punto for recognizing it and observing it

Remember not to beat yourself up for beating yourself up. :P
 

4 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:
  • meditation session
  • talk about self esteem issues with someone other than myself

-YES. If it works for you, use it!
-We are here, you have your support system at home, its not easy but it makes for a healthier you.

I'm not judging the mom look. Being comfortable is good. You look fine.
and in case you need to hear it again: You look great today. :)

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7 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

finally figured out that this is the best hair style for both aesthetics and comfort. Highly recommend. 

 

YES! 

 

7 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

This post I wasn’t really clear- but mostly I meant that I bought the same suit as every mom there and I have finally three years later leaned in hard for the mom aesthetic 

 

It was plenty clear to me. You look great. I am glad the moms where you live are going for comfy and not running around om high heels like LA moms haha

 

Honestly, I have been going for the mom/cool comfy aunty look between 17 and 24 and MY mom had been trying to get me to dress more my age lol (My actual goal is to look like a classy granny that was a lady in the 50s but that is expensive or too time-consuming for me :D )

 

Fortunately, if you wait long enough you will be trendy at least once in your life and see here... These past 1-2 years mom pants and so on have been THE look. Oh and dad sneakers. Awesome sauce. I look like the cool kids when I wear some of my old clothes. 

 

Except the bathing suit and shorts and fancy hat combo, I never stopped wearing that. 😇 I don't often feel the need to tan every bit of my body lol. And when you do bombs, the bikini tops often slide off, bottoms down, which I have never enjoyed when going to the swimming pool.

 

***

 

Seriously though, great challenge set-up. Rooting for youuu! Hope you get lots of a-ha moments!

 

And same, if you want to know what worked/is working for me, I am also willing to share. 

 

PS - This is analoggirl

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Glad you are back! I like the focus on self esteem. I know I need to work on that as well sometimes. Good Luck!

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On 7/27/2020 at 6:28 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

Yes, yes, and yes.

 

I can't tell you how to do that for yourself, because you have to figure out what works for you. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it's possible, and if you're interested in what worked for me, I'm happy to share. Meditating, and actively looking for negative self-talk and immediately stopping it when I notice it, are the biggest things that turned things around for me.

Oh, yes this all sounds good. Do share! Meditation is the magic sauce for me too- when I remember, make time to do it! 

 

On 7/27/2020 at 8:58 PM, fitnessgurl said:

This. 🔼 I was so used to doing it that it took awhile for me to recognize it for what it was.

 

Oh & following!😊

Very good point. Maybe I'll name that voice, Smeagol. Won't be creepy at all.

On 7/27/2020 at 9:03 PM, "Jake" said:

ABSOLUTELY! But the challenge, I believe, is that working it out, flexing it and growing it is not the same for everybody.
For example:
"You look great today" I mean it, but do you feel it? To some a complement will lift them up right away. To many, they will need to hear it more than once.
And then there are those that shrug off positive words...Some are built this way, complements do nothing, but the rest may have a condition that can be improved with time and working other areas of self esteem along with accepting complements.
Many more areas but that one, IMO, is huge
 

Remember not to beat yourself up for beating yourself up. :P
 

-YES. If it works for you, use it!
-We are here, you have your support system at home, its not easy but it makes for a healthier you.

I'm not judging the mom look. Being comfortable is good. You look fine.
and in case you need to hear it again: You look great today. :)

YES! To the first point, I should take compliment better and store them away as if I am a squirrel w/ compliment acorns for winter. 

Thank you for being here! Always the kindest, involved people on this forum. Mom look is the sauce. Citizens for elastic waistbands. 

 

On 7/27/2020 at 9:52 PM, Aθena said:

 

YES! 

 

 

It was plenty clear to me. You look great. I am glad the moms where you live are going for comfy and not running around om high heels like LA moms haha

 

Honestly, I have been going for the mom/cool comfy aunty look between 17 and 24 and MY mom had been trying to get me to dress more my age lol (My actual goal is to look like a classy granny that was a lady in the 50s but that is expensive or too time-consuming for me :D )

 

Fortunately, if you wait long enough you will be trendy at least once in your life and see here... These past 1-2 years mom pants and so on have been THE look. Oh and dad sneakers. Awesome sauce. I look like the cool kids when I wear some of my old clothes. 

 

Except the bathing suit and shorts and fancy hat combo, I never stopped wearing that. 😇 I don't often feel the need to tan every bit of my body lol. And when you do bombs, the bikini tops often slide off, bottoms down, which I have never enjoyed when going to the swimming pool.

 

***

 

Seriously though, great challenge set-up. Rooting for youuu! Hope you get lots of a-ha moments!

 

And same, if you want to know what worked/is working for me, I am also willing to share. 

 

PS - This is analoggirl

YAY!! Analog girl. Yes, the general trickle down mom-auntie-nana fashion from normcore has been the best. just the best. Tanning is never ever in the cards for me (alas, cries my poor 13 year old self) but I'm fine with it at this point- except when going anywhere vaguely tropical BECAUSE my heart is there but hte body does not commit, lol. YAY! I'm so glad you are rooting for me. Much love! ad do share! love the sharing.

 

On 7/28/2020 at 12:15 AM, darkfoxx said:

Welcome back! 

thank you :)

On 7/28/2020 at 8:55 AM, GoodDoug said:

Glad you are back! I like the focus on self esteem. I know I need to work on that as well sometimes. Good Luck!

Thank you! Also, your lands always pop up on my iweather (because homeland) and I grumble every time I see it. literally in the 70s everyday. How do you live iwh yourself? Answer- very well. Heheh, miss that town!

On 7/30/2020 at 7:57 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

Welcome back!

thank you!!

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Friday Night Update:

 Brevity has never been my forte but will attempt as I am reading a FANTASTIC novel- Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo- and must away to it's sweet embrace. 

Body:

 Indeed got those 5x/week in. Took a run last Saturday as well, plan on tomorrow morning.  I did yoga x1 and x2 foam rolling sessions! Great! Fantastic! 

Self esteem:

  • journaling
    • So,   I have this kind of silly but actually feels good yoga journal thing that I'll post sometime. I did this x5 this week after each workout. Felt good! I do want to get into habit of writing  proper journal as I did in days of yore but stoked to add the perhaps silly yoga journal into my routine
  • act of self compassion
    • Private moment but did remember to cnsciously do this x1
  • meditation session
    •  x2
  • talk about self esteem issues with someone other than myself
    • x1 on a mom's group- I shared some really personal stuff and someone I really admire wrote me some very nice things. Felt really good

Puntos: 9 

 out of the gate strong

 

Hobbit stuff: spent time at the river, did not locate one ring to rule them all. 

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12 minutes ago, ladyofthebog said:

 

Very good point. Maybe I'll name that voice, Smeagol. Won't be creepy at all.

 

I name my voices and issues. They are my boss fights in the great Game of Life.

 

When I first joined NF, Procrastination and Self-Indulgence where my two main enemies. Then Self-Sabotage, and the pyromancy Flame of Anxiety, and lately Despair has made an appearance.

 

As for what works for me, I cannot over-state the benefits of positive self-talk. Or of self-affirming rituals. I have a multi-step skin care routine that I do every morning and every evening, just because I am an awesome person who deserves to be cared for. And when I don't feel awesome and deserving, I look at my multi-step skin care routine and tell myself that this routine would not be done for a person who does not deserve it. So since I have all these products, that must mean I deserve them. And I tell myself that over and over until I believe it again.

 

It doesn't have to be skin care, obviously. :) 

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Yoga journals are great! And not at all silly - anything that gets pen to paper and thoughts out of head is a worthwhile pursuit. 

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On 8/1/2020 at 6:13 AM, ladyofthebog said:

Puntos: 9 

 out of the gate strong

Congratulations! This is an inspiring post. Maybe my next challenge is something along these lines?

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On 8/1/2020 at 1:04 AM, ladyofthebog said:

Very good point. Maybe I'll name that voice, Smeagol. Won't be creepy at all.

Lol! 

I, like @Scaly Freak, name my nemeses: Depression is the Black Abyss.

Lady Scorn is negative voice that whispers mean things to me.

Then there's the Fog of Fear, which is controlled by Anxiety Girl.

Also The Procrastination Monkey (borrowed from a post titled "Wait But Why") & part of my challenge

Lastly, there's Lord Lies-a-Lot, my ultimate enemy, Satan.

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On 7/31/2020 at 10:04 PM, ladyofthebog said:

Thank you! Also, your lands always pop up on my iweather (because homeland) and I grumble every time I see it. literally in the 70s everyday. How do you live iwh yourself? Answer- very well. Heheh, miss that town!

Hah! It is supposed to get to 80ºF today and we are all very whiny about it. Hard part is it doesn't feel safe at the beach since everyone is coming over the hill to scape the almost 100ºF heat and those troglodytes refuse to wear masks.

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4 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

Lol! 

I, like @Scaly Freak, name my nemeses: Depression is the Black Abyss.

Lady Scorn is negative voice that whispers mean things to me.

Then there's the Fog of Fear, which is controlled by Anxiety Girl.

Also The Procrastination Monkey (borrowed from a post titled "Wait But Why") & part of my challenge

Lastly, there's Lord Lies-a-Lot, my ultimate enemy, Satan.

Mine is an army:

Private Pain, Major Anxiety, and General Panic

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