dancezwithkittehz drinks more water

[dancezwithkittehz]

2 minutes ago, Manarelle said:

 

Sounds like a productive week. We are happy to await spoon replenishment to hear about your escapades! 

 

 

😆 Sorry... that's a great gif. 

 

😂😂 No worries! Now that I am done having a serious panic I can appreciate the hilarity.

[WhiteGhost]

On 8/22/2020 at 2:30 AM, dancezwithkittehz said:

and then finally remembered we do in fact have two grad students now with similar names and that that everything was correct and my last hour of panic was for nothing.

Better to panic for nothing than to actually have something to panic about   

[dancezwithkittehz]

22 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Better to panic for nothing than to actually have something to panic about   

 

True! But I am usually really good at remembering all of our people so I feel a little bad about that too for forgetting someone existed. 😂 I suppose forgetting about people you don't know super well when we've been away from seeing anyone other than those we directly work with for like 6 months is unsurprising!

 

 

[dancezwithkittehz]

I have been in grumpy hermit mode all weekend but I exist! Also it was SO HOT ON SATURDAY. Like. I thought it had been hot earlier in the week and then it decided to i the mid 80s to early 90s with like 80% humidity and it was MISERABLE. Anyone who lives places regularly this hot and humid is a brave soul and I commend them! We usually don't ever get that here.

 

Anywho I actually have dance again today for the first time in 3 weeks or so so YAY and I will do a more thorough challenge update tomorrow!

[Manarelle]

11 hours ago, dancezwithkittehz said:

Like. I thought it had been hot earlier in the week and then it decided to i the mid 80s to early 90s with like 80% humidity and it was MISERABLE. Anyone who lives places regularly this hot and humid is a brave soul and I commend them! We usually don't ever get that here.

 

Ew, no thank you. I miss Colorado and its 0% humidity. Hopefully you didn't have to dance on nasty humid days? 

[dancezwithkittehz]

5 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

Ew, no thank you. I miss Colorado and its 0% humidity. Hopefully you didn't have to dance on nasty humid days? 

 

Thankfully no!  I ended up noping out of any exercise that one day that was super bad haha.

[dancezwithkittehz]

Half-ass challenge update time, aka I don't remember the specifics of the last few days because I suck at sleeping as per usual. I've been hitting the water goal, mostly doing the vegetable goal, and not sure on meal time stuff (but I was good on that yesterday sort of? yay?) 

 

Yesterday was my mom's birthday plus I had a virtual convention meet and greet w/ Michael Rosenbaum to attend (have I mentioned I love this virtual convention season in a way? I can just pay to talk to the one person I want to talk to from my own house and I don't have to travel anywhere or pay for an overall convention etc and you can watch panels in your pajamas and stuff. IT'S GREAT.) Anyway, between birthday stuff and meet and greet my day was a bit thrown, especially the food stuff. I got like, 70% of my daily calories from my lunch (gourmet cupcake I picked up from local bakery + frozen pizza bahahahaha.) Anyway, pretty sure I failed on vegetables yesterday especially for lunch but heyyyyy. Per mom's requests we watched both Guardians movies as well as the live action Aladdin (which was actually pretty good minus the whole current day they autotune the BEJESUS out of all vocals which annoys the shit out of me. Let. People. Sound. Like. Actual. People.  But anyway I digress!)

 

Anywho, I will try to vegetable successfully today!! Also I did actually get in all of my exercise stuff this week so far (minus Saturday heat wave humidity hell day anyway.)

[dancezwithkittehz]

I can has all the insomnia? WHEEEEEEEE. Anywho. I am going to try to cardio today to see if that helps since that is the one kind of workout I haven't specifically been doing, and I am also going to do my sunlight lamp thing to see if it's lack of sunlight thats making my mood suck and making me struggle to sleep because I think it might just be stress related (which would be a no sunlight mood thing I dunno?) But also I think I just let myself sleep in WAY too much over the weekend (because I'd wake up way too early be like F THIS and read until I could fall back asleep and stay in bed too late.

 

Anyway too sleepy today for detailed updates, but in general I've been good on on my goal stuff. The regular eating schedule deal is still a bit of struggle but on the whole I have been finishing up eating earlier than 9 lately which is an improvement!

 

 

[dancezwithkittehz]

OH HEY. My brain is kinda working a bit better now that I am more awake!

 

I do have some updates on body composition. I don't know if it's just adding in the X3 "lifting" ish band workouts, but I have visibly slimmed out more in my waist and in my legs in the last few weeks. PROGRESS YAY. Stupid thigh/glute cellulite is already less noticeable and mostly I just have delightful firm muscley goodness everywhere except for around the midsection (especially lower belly) which is taking its GD time as usual but all of that is still SMALLER for sure!

 

I LOVE VISIBLE PROGRESS! Maybe I will finally actually look like someone who has been dancing for 20 years? That would be cool! My legs have always had a lot of muscle and some visible definition even when in slightly fluffy mode but I'm able to feel and see even more now WOOHOO. Like I can definitely feel the space between the quads on the front and I guess the hamstrings on the back of the leg (I don't know all the scientific muscle names heyy.) But I can feel the space between those muscles now and it's NEAT!!

[PaulG]

Glad to hear about the visible progress! Even though a lot of us tell ourselves we shouldn’t need it, it’s still exciting to see a real, tangible payoff for the work we put in.

[dancezwithkittehz]

Continued weird mental space is killing my ability to sleep right now and it's really frustrating ya'll. UGH.

 

Still not really sure what's up other than anxiety and irritability and general just slightly low mood right now which is particularly noticeable when I am trying to sleep. I can usually at least initially fall asleep (thanks to melatonin and magnesium- yay drugs) but then I wake up in the middle of the night, which I always do because that's how I sleep.  But right now rather than my usual wake up, flop over, go back to sleep, it's more like wake up flip over try to go back to sleep but instead my brain decides to anxiety spiral about something instead. UGH.  And I know the lack of sleep does not help with anxiety, general low mood and irritability so it's like a spiral of nope right now.

 

I did sleep really well Monday night which incidentally was a dance night. So maybe incorporating more cardio (or specifically dance? I dunno? Dance is definitely my happy place) will help my mood and help me sleep. Anywho I am sure things will get better eventually but I KNOW my ability to get shit done is suffering so that sucks.

 

Silver linings is I am getting a LOT of reading done lately. Laying there anxiety spiraling is not helpful so I read to shut my brain up for however long it takes to be sleepy enough to fall back asleep which these days is at least an hour and often more in the middle of the night. I need to work on my reading list since I keep finishing things way faster than normal! I re-read the Legends of Muirwood trilogy and apparently Jeff Wheeler has a few series I haven't read so maybe I will go with those next. I'm now reading a random historical fiction I got from an Amazon First Reads, In Farleigh Field by Rhys Bowen, which is actually turning out to be pretty good! Maybe I should try more non-fantasy and sci fi more often. Anywho, if anyone has good suggestions on any fun and enjoyable reads I am all ears (obviously books need to have conflict and things actually happen in them but I am avoiding stuff that is super dark or depressing.)

[dancezwithkittehz]

Sometimes you have to find joy in weird places. Like obsessing over getting a good picture of your calves 😂

 

 

[bigm141414]

Ugh, I've now got some major calf envy. That's some outstanding definition you got goin' on.

[dancezwithkittehz]

4 hours ago, bigm141414 said:

Ugh, I've now got some major calf envy. That's some outstanding definition you got goin' on.

 
Muahahahah. Dance is killer for calves!! I mean genetics don’t hurt either but they are more just large without the crazy definition if I’m not doing as much dance. 

[Manarelle]

Pardon me for digging up an old 18th (?) century compliment but dang you have some lovely turn-out and shapely ankles, too. 

 

For the middle-of-the-night anxiety spiral, it might help to intentionally focus on things you're grateful for, too. Not just "I'm glad I have my health/ a home/ enough food/ blah blah" listing, but like "I'm really grateful I've been able to work towards my goal. Remember how I felt when I couldn't/ didn't know what I wanted to do? And now I'm actively working toward making it reality" or something like that. Taking a look at how your work has changed your life, or how someone else in your life makes you feel better. It stops the negative spiral and lets your body bask in those good hormones for a bit. Takes some practice, but might be worth a try. 

[raptron]

HELL YEAHHH CALVES.

 

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

For the middle-of-the-night anxiety spiral, it might help to intentionally focus on things you're grateful for, too. Not just "I'm glad I have my health/ a home/ enough food/ blah blah" listing, but like "I'm really grateful I've been able to work towards my goal. Remember how I felt when I couldn't/ didn't know what I wanted to do? And now I'm actively working toward making it reality" or something like that. Taking a look at how your work has changed your life, or how someone else in your life makes you feel better. It stops the negative spiral and lets your body bask in those good hormones for a bit. Takes some practice, but might be worth a try. 

Manarelle is smart and wise.

[dancezwithkittehz]

4 hours ago, Manarelle said:

Pardon me for digging up an old 18th (?) century compliment but dang you have some lovely turn-out and shapely ankles, too. 

Hahahahahaha

 

4 hours ago, Manarelle said:

For the middle-of-the-night anxiety spiral, it might help to intentionally focus on things you're grateful for, too. Not just "I'm glad I have my health/ a home/ enough food/ blah blah" listing, but like "I'm really grateful I've been able to work towards my goal. Remember how I felt when I couldn't/ didn't know what I wanted to do? And now I'm actively working toward making it reality" or something like that. Taking a look at how your work has changed your life, or how someone else in your life makes you feel better. It stops the negative spiral and lets your body bask in those good hormones for a bit. Takes some practice, but might be worth a try. 

 

I could try that. Wouldn't hurt I suppose. It's more of like, a compulsive bad thought spiral. I have tons of things I am thankful for which I think of on the regular but my brain when in anxiety mode is like "lets think about how you might not be able to save up money fast enough to fix the things that need fixing on your house before you have serious damage and things fall apart HAHHA GOOD LUCK SLEEPINGGG". Like, it's a legitimate concern of mine and it's the one that keeps me up at night most often. 

 

 

I also kind of wonder if not having around a cute critter 24/7 to hang out with is causing the increased anxiety for me. Like, I have my brother's cats to cuddle sometimes when they are out, and my mom's cat when she feels social (not a very cuddly cat lol), but it's not like my fuzzy stalker best friend with me at all times that I am her favorite person ever. I think I've never been in a position to not have at least one pet that I am their favorite human and often I am the favorite of all the kittehs in the house, but because of old lady kitty being very possessive of me and my room all the kitties we got in the last few years have different home bases and favorite people that are not me. 

 

I'm not really inclined to go get another kitty just yet because it's a little too soon for me plus we already have basically two separate cat households in the same house that can't all be out at once because one is an antisocial dumbass and not remotely food motivated so all my usual socializing tricks don't work. I do think I may need to try fostering a young very sweet boy kitten to see if that's something she could get along with. Someday anyway. Or maybe two boy kittens so she can see them socialize and learn not to be dumb. I dunno. (The two boys we have are SUPER sweet, but dumbass other cat charges Kratos every time she sees him and if you charge him he is going to fight back and then she's like AAAAAH HE'S GOING TO EAT MEEEEEEEE....the struggle is real lol)

 

[Manarelle]

3 hours ago, dancezwithkittehz said:

I could try that. Wouldn't hurt I suppose. It's more of like, a compulsive bad thought spiral. I have tons of things I am thankful for which I think of on the regular but my brain when in anxiety mode is like "lets think about how you might not be able to save up money fast enough to fix the things that need fixing on your house before you have serious damage and things fall apart HAHHA GOOD LUCK SLEEPINGGG". Like, it's a legitimate concern of mine and it's the one that keeps me up at night most often. 

 

Totally a legit reason, but there's nothing you can do about it in the middle of the night, so it's not really a legit reason RIGHT NOW. Remember that last time things fell apart and you (being the awesomesauce person you are) nevertheless got them fixed? There is nothing stopping you from being that awesome again if it's needed again.

 

Failing absolutely all else, write down what horrible spiral your brain is working on at 1am and then look at it the next morning so you can prepare rebuttals for when it ambushes you again the next night. The spiral will start and you'll be able to just go 

 

 

Aaaaand then not fall asleep 'cause you're laughing at the ridiculousness of the gif. Ok, maybe leave the gif out of it.

 

3 hours ago, dancezwithkittehz said:

I also kind of wonder if not having around a cute critter 24/7 to hang out with is causing the increased anxiety for me.

 

That could definitely be contributing... animals are wonderful for stopping anxiety and depression. 

[dancezwithkittehz]

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

Totally a legit reason, but there's nothing you can do about it in the middle of the night, so it's not really a legit reason RIGHT NOW.

 

 I know I know. My brain apparently does not share my opinion about the appropriate time to stress about things lol.

 

I did last night have the ingenious idea to take some more CBD when I woke up in the middle of the night (since the dose I took right before bed has worn off by then and thus return of anxiety panda.) And it DID work to make me not have an anxiety spiral. However it did not make me actually go back to sleep so. I dunno. i need time release CBD or something. lol. On the other hand I am ridiculously thankful to have SOMETHING to help me manage anxiety when it's a problem even if it doesn't last a full night o sleep. It's probably partially a me/my family issue. Meds always wear off faster than they are supposed to and I always need more than people think I will of painkillers if I am in the hospital or something which SUCKS btw. (The one time I was in for getting my gallbladder out they basically had to give me such a big dose to cut the pain that it made me more or less unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few min MAYBE. I don't get how anyone could think morphine is FUN as for me it's like a hellish confusing uncomfortable haze. DO NOT WANT NOPE NOPE NOPE.)

[dancezwithkittehz]

I ACTUALLY GOT SLEEP. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

I think maybe even 8 hours, which is rare for me even in non insomnia times!

 

I decided to take a melatonin break since I haven't in a while and I know that's good to do sometimes. Not sure if that's it but either way YAY. Also yay for benadryl. (If I don't take something to help me get sleepy I will not fall asleep at a reasonable hour. My internal clock is like NIGHT TIME FUN TIME DO ALL THE THINGS. )

[Manarelle]

On 9/4/2020 at 12:14 PM, dancezwithkittehz said:

I ACTUALLY GOT SLEEP. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

I think maybe even 8 hours, which is rare for me even in non insomnia times!

 

I decided to take a melatonin break since I haven't in a while and I know that's good to do sometimes. Not sure if that's it but either way YAY. Also yay for benadryl. (If I don't take something to help me get sleepy I will not fall asleep at a reasonable hour. My internal clock is like NIGHT TIME FUN TIME DO ALL THE THINGS. )

 

 

Bet that's an awesome feeling, congrats! 

[dancezwithkittehz]

OH HEYYYYY. Time to start brainstorming for next round I guess!  I think I'm going to have to do a back to basics mental health focused challenge given how things were these last few weeks. To the drawing board!

 

All in all I think I did pretty well on my goals this challenge in spite of life getting in the way as it likes to do! I am generally done with eating a little earlier, drinking more water, and eating more vegetables, so I call that a win.

[Manarelle]

37 minutes ago, dancezwithkittehz said:

All in all I think I did pretty well on my goals this challenge in spite of life getting in the way as it likes to do! I am generally done with eating a little earlier, drinking more water, and eating more vegetables, so I call that a win.