Elennare has a plan that's...working?!?

[Elennare]

In a rare bit of good news, the forecasted dry thunderstorms mostly failed to materialize, so the fires didn't get a whole lot worse. There not much better, and still growing, but a whole bunch of new ones didn't get added to the mix.

 

I got a decent amount of sleep last night, so actually felt like a person today. Stayed on track with my food, mostly, and did my scheduled workout. Ever so slowly getting closer to a pull-up! But I got 5 mosquito bites! Yuck! Citronella candles will be here by Wednesday. 🙂

 

In not great news today, the kitty had what I am assuming was a seizure this morning. It's the second one we've seen. The first one was a few days ago, at like 4:30 in the morning. This one was just as I was starting work. It lasted for a while, and she had trouble walking for a few hours afterwards, and has been pretty lethargic all day. She's got a vet appointment tomorrow evening. I'm really hoping it's something she can get medicine for and be fine, rather than time to say goodbye. 😢

Because how could I be ready to say goodbye to this?

 

Like, I know she's sick and old, and she'll go eventually, and I don't want her to suffer, but it still sucks. I am convinced she is the physical manifestation of everything I wanted in a cat growing up. The very best of good girls.

[Manarelle]

8 hours ago, Elennare said:

In a rare bit of good news, the forecasted dry thunderstorms mostly failed to materialize, so the fires didn't get a whole lot worse. There not much better, and still growing, but a whole bunch of new ones didn't get added to the mix.

 

I got a decent amount of sleep last night, so actually felt like a person today. Stayed on track with my food, mostly, and did my scheduled workout. Ever so slowly getting closer to a pull-up! But I got 5 mosquito bites! Yuck! Citronella candles will be here by Wednesday. 🙂

 

Two pieces of good news, woot! Boo to mosquito bites, but glad they didn't interfere with sleep. Sleep is magical when it happens. 

 

8 hours ago, Elennare said:

In not great news today, the kitty had what I am assuming was a seizure this morning. It's the second one we've seen. The first one was a few days ago, at like 4:30 in the morning. This one was just as I was starting work. It lasted for a while, and she had trouble walking for a few hours afterwards, and has been pretty lethargic all day. She's got a vet appointment tomorrow evening. I'm really hoping it's something she can get medicine for and be fine, rather than time to say goodbye. 😢

 

Aw, boo. Best wishes to you and kitty, hopefully it's an easy fix. She's adorable. 

[Elennare]

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

Aw, boo. Best wishes to you and kitty, hopefully it's an easy fix. She's adorable. 

Thanks! She seems back to her normal self so far today, so I'm much more hopeful she'll be ok for a while still than I was last night. We'll see what the vet says this evening, but now I'm much more hopeful it will be good news.

[Elennare]

Back on track with my eating after the dodgy curry last night. Our regular place was closed, so we tried somewhere new. It was...not good. The boys' pad Thai was sour (!?!). I think the fried rice was fine. But my curry was basically flavorless (again,!?!), which seemed to have been attempted to be hidden by hot and sugar. And, not a flavorful spicy, it just tasted like burning. And then to top it off, Husband and I both got upset bellies from it. Will not be ordering from there again!

Wait...not quite back on track. Or, maybe? I had a pumpkin spice cold brew from Starbucks this morning. Way less sugar than the latte, but still some. And a few weeks at the soonest before I really planned to start having occasional treats. Oh well. Close enough.

 

It was a long day today, and I have no idea how it got so late. So looks like I'm just going to do some squats while I'm brushing my teeth and call that good for today.

 

In kitty news, we have good news and not so good news from the vet. A physical examination showed nothing wrong with her, other than maybe a slight heart murmur or something (didn't get the details on that, but didn't seem to be a significant issue). They wanted to do a bunch of tests, but we decided not to do all of them, for now anyway, because it did not seem like a good exchange of money for quality of life. But they did a blood panel and blood pressure test, and those came back great. In fact, her thyroid levels are down into the normal range! They were still on the low end of high 8 months ago, so that's great news. Based on that, she's a healthy 16ish year old cat.

 

But that's also the bad news. We still have no idea what's causing her probably seizures. Apparently cats don't have them very commonly, but given how old she is, it's probably a tumor or other brain issue. They'd have to do an MRI to see what that was. Or they could just give us anti-seizure medicine. But that has potential for nasty side effects. So, after talking with the vet and finding out the type of seizures she's having are most likely not dangerous if left untreated, we've decided keeping an eye on it to see if she has more, and what other details of them look like if she does, before we do anything more. Especially since there is also the possibility that they might just have been a weird thing that's not going to happen again.

[raptron]

We're not very good at understanding seizures in ANY animals, including humans. 

 

Glad the preliminary panels looked good though! 

[Elennare]

Sorry for disappearing.  I am back now.  We took a weekend trip to visit Husband's parents, because they really wanted to see the boys again before school started.  It was a pretty good trip, all things considered.  It was smokey there, unfortunately.  Which my lungs were not a huge fan of.  And, lack of sleep on the way there/back, as usual now, is not great.  But it was nice to see people and get out of the house for a bit.  Kitty still seems fine, so that's good, too.

 

I have mostly stuck with my exercise plans, except for a day or two where I was too run down to do anything.  Food this weekend was...not great.  I forgot to pack my no-sugar creamer and my supplements.  Husband went to the store to get me creamer, but there wasn't any that was no sugar, so he just got me something that was no-dairy.  So I drank that all weekend, and it's going to be another day or two before it's finished off.  And while I tried to avoid sugar, and certainly didn't have deserts, I did have a couple foods that had sugar in them.

 

So I guess the no-sugar experiment is officially over, as a result, and I'm now moving into the "have a few treats a month" phase.  I'm also supplementing that with a nutrition challenge from another group: eat 800g of fruit and veggies every day.  We'll see how that goes, but the idea is to eat so many of those you don't have room for the unhealthy stuff.

 

Oh yeah, and shark week decided to show up a few days early.  So that made things interesting.

 

I remembered to weigh myself before I ate/drank anything this morning (yay!).  I'm down another 2 lbs!  Measurements were mixed, but the ones that went up (chest and one arm) are likely due to the time of the month and the chin-up challenge exercises.  At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.  But my waist is down another 3/4 of an inch and my hips are half an inch smaller and I lost a 1/4 of an inch off each thigh.  It is so slow, but it is progress towards my goal, and I am very happy.  It would be lovely if I could make faster progress, but after being stuck or going the wrong way for so long, I am incredibly happy to see any consistent progress.  Though...I would like my arms to go back to being the same size.

[Elennare]

Whelp, spoke too soon on kitty. She had another episode this afternoon. I got a video of part of it to share with the vet. On the upside, she recovered from this one faster and hasn't been out of it all evening.

 

The lack of sleep last night caught up with me hard this evening. Ordered popcorn chicken, fries, and bubble tea for dinner. It was absolutely delicious, and tomorrow I will be back on track with my eating. Especially since I think I ate a bit too much and now I feel like I'm going to explode.

 

Did not do any exercise because I crashed hard after a semi busy day at work. So I'm going to bed soon, and hopefully will fall asleep quickly.

[WhiteGhost]

Oh no, poor kitty

[Elennare]

Stuck to my eating plan today (yay!). Well, aside from the creamer, which is now gone. We do not have nearly enough fruits and vegetables. That might be a problem in a couple days.

 

Took a short walk at lunch, but didn't manage to do the chin-up challenge exercises today. Probably because I haven't put the rings back up after the trip yet, and it was dark by the time I had a chance to exercise. So now I'm 2 days behind schedule. Grr... Will have to make sure I don't get further behind.

 

Also got a call from my brother this evening. The older of the two, the chef, not the trainer. It started ok. He wanted to know what I thought about my old car, because he was looking into buying a different model by the same company. Then it moved on to him bitching about work. And, to be fair, the company he used to work for has treated him like shit, and it sounds like they pulled some next-level nonsense. But, his new job is apparently not great, either. And then it devolved into politics. Which was a conversation I did not want to have, but he just wouldn't take the hint. I finally just point blank told him I had to go to bed something like 2 hours after the start of the call. And it is kind of hitting me like a sack of bricks just how politically different I am from most (if not all) of my immediate family (this is probably going to sound terrible, but I kind of don't want to know what my other brother thinks, because he's the one out of the bunch I like the most, and I'm not ready to potentially mess that up right now). And I think I'm going to have to now find ways to avoid that topic entirely with them, or I'm going to get it thrown back in my face at some random time as proof of what a horrible person I am, or something like that.

 

And, it's occurring to me that maybe part of the reason I didn't really get to see or have contact with my extended family when I was growing up is that my family has been batshit for a whole lot longer than I ever realized and either no one else wanted anything to do with them, or my parents (most likely mom) thought having more contact with them would "mess us up" or something (like, I don't know, give us an outlet for seeing other views of the world, or somehow reduce her control over us?). So it's occurring to me how little I actually know any of my relatives.

 

And now it's almost 1am, and I'm sitting here trying to process all of that, with a headache, and also wondering how one goes about getting a relationship with aunts, uncles, and cousins you barely know and had pretty much all contact with facilitated by your parents when you're an almost 40 year old busy introvert who lives 3 timezones away from most of them. Andwwhat if it turns out that, no, most of them are more like the rest of my immediate family than I am? Because, it's occurring to me that it's not just politics that I don't share with them, but the entire way I approach the world. Perhaps the aunt who pocket dialed me a couple weeks ago and we talked a little bit, and who actually responded to one of my mom's crazy emails to tell her it was junk would be a good place to start? That seems like maybe a good plan?

[Manarelle]

If you don't mind, I have some advice on this, because my parents (ok, mostly mom, but dad drinks the kool-aid sometimes, too) are similarly batshit and we don't get on much. 

 

4 hours ago, Elennare said:

And then it devolved into politics. Which was a conversation I did not want to have, but he just wouldn't take the hint. I finally just point blank told him I had to go to bed something like 2 hours after the start of the call.

 

I've found that just bluntly saying "we don't agree on this topic, we never will, and I have no desire to discuss it. If you insist on trying, I will hang up" works pretty well. You might have to hang up on them a time or two if they continue to push, and you'll doubt yourself for being SO INCREDIBLY rude to do so.... but consider that they're being rude by not respecting your boundaries - you're just defending said boundaries. They'll probably gossip about it - and how horrible you are - to other family members, but that's a bonus for you, because the word will get around that you're not playing around on this: back off or get hung up on. 

 

4 hours ago, Elennare said:

And, it's occurring to me that maybe part of the reason I didn't really get to see or have contact with my extended family when I was growing up is that my family has been batshit for a whole lot longer than I ever realized and either no one else wanted anything to do with them, or my parents (most likely mom) thought having more contact with them would "mess us up" or something (like, I don't know, give us an outlet for seeing other views of the world, or somehow reduce her control over us?). So it's occurring to me how little I actually know any of my relatives.

 

This is a hard thing to realize, and I feel you. I always thought that we (mom, dad, two sisters) didn't have much contact with the rest of the family (4 of dad's siblings and a LOT of cousins) because dad was in the military and we moved a lot. When I was in my 30s, I lived in the same state as most of the rest of the clan, and found out it's because they all despise my mother. They have a huge extended network of family, married-in-laws, kids, grandkids, even some great-grandkids, and the vast majority of them I've never even heard of. 

 

On the one hand, it's sad to realize how many opportunities I've missed out on. On the other hand, I'm strongly introverted and don't feel comfortable in large groups, so I don't feel a particular need to try to connect. I'm sad things didn't turn out another way, and that any future kids I have/ adopt will not have the opportunity to have a huge family connection, but... it is what it is. If it's important to you, by all means reach out and see about forging those connections. My older sister moved out near one set of aunt/ uncles, and they sort of adopted her. I ended up getting close to another set, and while were not bosom buddies, we still do communicate a lot. It's never too late to try. 

 

4 hours ago, Elennare said:

Andwwhat if it turns out that, no, most of them are more like the rest of my immediate family than I am? Because, it's occurring to me that it's not just politics that I don't share with them, but the entire way I approach the world. Perhaps the aunt who pocket dialed me a couple weeks ago and we talked a little bit, and who actually responded to one of my mom's crazy emails to tell her it was junk would be a good place to start? That seems like maybe a good plan?

 

If it turns out they're all still wildly different than you, then you can close that door, knowing you explored that dungeon without getting stuck in it. Big difference between a door that is locked against you and a door that you chose to close. What if, however, it turns out that they're NOT, and you find even a few allies that can help bolster you and make you realize you're not alone/ weird/ bad/ horrible? Sounds like a strong aunt who can stand up to batshit would be a great place to start. And if it's something that takes off, then you have an in with your family that your mother doesn't control. Definitely worth a try. 

[Elennare]

16 hours ago, Manarelle said:

[much wisdom that is too long to quote]

Thank you. I actually really appreciate all of that.

 

I did not actually settle and get to sleep last "night" until around 3am. So I am wrecked today. Did not feel good. And it was a busy day at work today.

 

But I got it all done. My eating was mostly good (had some sugar, but I really wanted yogurt and the store was out of the unsweetened stuff I can eat, and the paleo hot pockets have a tiny bit as well).

 

I got my workout done, despite feeling like shit. I half-assed it, but it's done and that's still better than no-assing it. Friday is the halfway done retest! I will be interested to see how much progress I've made. I'm guessing I'll maybe go up one level. I was just short of 30 seconds dead hang in the initial test, but I don't think I'll be able to get a full minute yet. Especially since it's my hands that are the weak link on the dead hang. But that does mean I won't be trying the top hang at all. But maybe I'll surprise myself!

 

And now I'll going to bed, because I am beyond exhausted. In hindsight, I probably should have taken a sick day today. Oh well, too late now.

[WhiteGhost]

I think you would not go wrong following Manarelle's advice.

 

I am on the other side of that fence, my mom kept us distanced from some of our relatives because they were just politically nutso (From her perspective).  I don't really know any of my cousins from those two families.  

[Manarelle]

6 hours ago, Elennare said:

I got my workout done, despite feeling like shit. I half-assed it, but it's done and that's still better than no-assing it. Friday is the halfway done retest! I will be interested to see how much progress I've made. I'm guessing I'll maybe go up one level. I was just short of 30 seconds dead hang in the initial test, but I don't think I'll be able to get a full minute yet. Especially since it's my hands that are the weak link on the dead hang. But that does mean I won't be trying the top hang at all. But maybe I'll surprise myself!

 

Dang, look at you pulling out the optimism despite lack of sleep and an icky day. I definitely hear you on the half-assing workouts being better than no-assing. Sometimes, you've just gotta go through the motions to keep in practice of doing it, no matter how much you don't want to. Looking forward to seeing your retest results!

[Elennare]

Got to bed a little bit later than I hoped last night, but I fell asleep pretty quickly once I did.  And I actually got pretty restful sleep for once!  Still wasn't ready to get up when the alarm went off, but I don't feel nearly as dead today.

 

Eating is pretty good, but as a result of still trying to get settled after the trip (this one really wiped me and Husband out, for some reason) combined with getting ready for school to start again, we just haven't had good food planning this week.  And some of my no-sugar alternatives weren't available, so we went with the next-best thing which did have some added sugar.  Hopefully this isn't going to undo my progress.

 

Got stuck at work late today, partially as a result of said getting ready for school to start and partially because the job I'm checking is running late.  We were a bit behind in getting school supplies, but weren't too worried about it because they're doing distance learning and we have many craft supplies.  Except, we got emails from the boys teachers last night, and one of them wanted her kids to bring in about half of the supplies on the list.  When they picked up their books and computers.  Today.

 

So last night I ordered all the supplies.  Well, except for cleaning wipes, because I couldn't find those.  It took 3 stores to get everything.  This morning, I took two stores (and one boy) and Husband took the other plus Costco to try to find wipes (and the other boy), so we could have it all ready.  Success, except for the wipes, which are no where to be found, as has been the case for the last 4+ months.  I've been looking every time I go to the store, and no luck.  But, one of the stores I had was farther away than I thought it was, and in the exact opposite direction from the other store, so it took me an hour and a half.  Everything is ready now, though, except for a desk for Little One, which we're working on.

 

Tonight, I'm going to go try to hang up the hammock out back, so I can relocate there for work in the afternoon. Then I'm going to do some pilates and go to bed.

 

Why am I going to work outside tomorrow? It's going to get hot again. The high is 88. And then it jumps up to 103 for Saturday and Sunday! I read a blog by a local weather scientist, and apparently there's a decent chance this crazy heat is going to be followed by an offshore wind event. Which, in California, means there's a good chance of fires that spread quickly. And it's very unusual for this time of year. So that's fun. The weather models are uncertain about that, but apparently it keeps looking more likely the closer to the day we get. Dear 2020, please stop!

[Manarelle]

13 hours ago, Elennare said:

Except, we got emails from the boys teachers last night, and one of them wanted her kids to bring in about half of the supplies on the list.  When they picked up their books and computers.  Today.

 

What the heck kind of crappy planning is that? As if parents don't have anything to do and can just pop out to the stores at a moment's notice. 

[Elennare]

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

What the heck kind of crappy planning is that? As if parents don't have anything to do and can just pop out to the stores at a moment's notice. 

I would say it's actually about 2/3 on us, in this case.  School starts next Tuesday (in 5 days), and they sent out the list a couple weeks ago.  We were just way behind in getting stuff, in no small part because no one really knew how things were going to shake out with school starting.  All of that stuff would have been expected to be brought the first day if we were starting in person (like some of the kids are).  It would not have been as much of an issue if we were on top of things, like we normally are, because it was the same list already sent aside from the addition of a file crate.  But, 2020, man. That's really all I can say about it.

[Elennare]

Oh! I totally forgot to post yesterday's update. Oops.

 

Did good on my eating. Kinda crashed at the end of the day, so just did 3 sets of 5 push ups on the stairs. I will do the chin-up challenge re-benchmark later today.

 

After it cools off. It's 103 outside right now. I tried to go take a nap in the hammock, because it was so nice working out there yesterday afternoon, but I couldn't do it. It's too hot. Probably would have been fine if there was a nice breeze, but no, the wind has the audacity to be hotter than the still air! It felt like I was trying to nap in front of an open oven.

 

The forecast has gotten hotter, too. It was 103 for today and tomorrow. Now it's 104 for today and 106 for tomorrow. After being outside for 20 minutes, I fully believe that. And wonder if it might not be low-balling things.

[Elennare]

Yesterday:

Eating: ✅

Good, but I did have one of my 2 monthly treats. I blended watermelon with some coconut milk and froze it in the fish shaped ice cube tray, and then made some custard to go with them. I screwed it up and the custard broke, but it still tasted good. This is what happens when you can't really control the heat because you're using a mixing bowl on top of a pot of boiling water. Some day I'll manage to do it right. 🙂

 

Exercise: ✅

I made it to the unassisted hang for 42 seconds. My hands slid off the rings at that point. I definitely could have gone longer if that hadn't happened. I guess that means my grip failed, and offers further proof that grip strength is my weak link for the hangs. That said, I moved up to level 5 for the rest of the challenge, that's the longest hang I've managed over the course of the challenge, and it's close to double my initial test. So that's all pretty awesome.

 

Overall, this challenge went really well. I have managed to make and stick with a plan for 2 challenges now. And I have seen measurable progress over them as well. Slower than I would prefer, but still progress. I'm very happy with that outcome, and plan to stick with it.

 

And, as I'm writing this up, it occurred to me that the first time I went paleo and had a lot of success, I was very careful about cutting out most added sugar, and only using "natural" sugars (like honey) when I did have something. So I think I've figured out that added sugar does not agree with my body, and I'm going to be working on finding a balance between avoiding them but still having some treats that works for me.

[Manarelle]

3 hours ago, Elennare said:

Overall, this challenge went really well. I have managed to make and stick with a plan for 2 challenges now. And I have seen measurable progress over them as well. Slower than I would prefer, but still progress. I'm very happy with that outcome, and plan to stick with it.

 

 

So badass, I'm hella proud of you.

 

3 hours ago, Elennare said:

And, as I'm writing this up, it occurred to me that the first time I went paleo and had a lot of success, I was very careful about cutting out most added sugar, and only using "natural" sugars (like honey) when I did have something. So I think I've figured out that added sugar does not agree with my body, and I'm going to be working on finding a balance between avoiding them but still having some treats that works for me.

 

Balance is such a bugger to find, but good insight there for sure. 

[WhiteGhost]

6 hours ago, Elennare said:

offers further proof that grip strength is my weak link for the hangs

Grip strength is a probably the weak link for most people.  I know it is for me