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Bigm's Summer of Smolov Squats


bigm141414

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I have officially started the full Smolov Squat Program

 

I am officially out of my mind.

 

I took the last challenge off to work on some personal and mental states. One of my year goals is to fix all of my lifts. So far I've gotten deadlifts and bench back to normal levels, and even set a PR on deadlifts this  year. My squats are still not back to where they were so I picked the worst best squat program to fix that. If you are not familiar with this insanity just google around for program reviews and read the horror stories. Or just follow this thread and watch in abject horror as I descend into grumpy anguish and whiny-ness.

 

Smolov lasts 13 weeks. I squat 4x times a week. And it's awful. I've finished up the intro cycle and started the Base cycle on Monday. I have done two sessions and I already want someone to put me out of my misery.

 

Goals:

 

1) Follow Smolov. No excuses.

 

I have a spreadsheet that is already filled out so I just need to do it. And with the whole work from home thing I've got the flexibility to get into the garage during the days without issue.

 

2) No booze on days before squatting

 

In order to squat 4 days a week I can't be abusing my body with alcohol and bad food choices the night before. I've spent the last 4ish weeks drying out to get back to a baseline of sobriety to prepare for this shift. Restrict drinking days to Saturdays or Mondays if at all.  

 

3) Eat better but eat all the things

 

Over the decade or so that I have been lifting there are only 2 programs I have done where running at a caloric deficit is a sure fire way to grind my way into dust and fail. Smolov is one of those programs. That said, I want to eat to fuel my lifts so sub chicken and veggies for those tasty pints of ice cream. I am pretty sure I am going to lose weight even if I eat all the things, because it happened last time I ran Smolov.

 

4) Cardio and Accessories

 

On my off days I want to get in some bike trainer time as active recovery for my poor legs. Do at least 1 30-45min bike session a week.

Since I am doing a boat load of squats I won't be doing deadlifts this entire time, but I want to continue benching, OHP and some upper body work. Schedule 2 bro-type sessions a week.

 

So that's it. Let the bitching begin.

 

 

  • Like 8

"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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squatting.jpg.54d70f662ad2dfa453f2a4a6f9b804cd.jpg

 

Squats! I want to see pictures of quadzilla when you are done! 

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Looking good. I'm also wanting to get back to baseline of drinkinglessness. 

 

Chicken instead of ice cream? What about chicken as well as ice cream? Not at the same time obviously. Consecutively. Ice cream then chicken. 

Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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Here for your bitching.

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Following for your descent into madness.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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14 hours ago, miss_marissa said:

Here for your bitching.

 

14 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following for your descent into madness.

 

Y'all are both in luck because it totally starts right now!

 

Today was the second day of the Base cycle. Today was the following BS:

 

Squat: 5 sets of 7 reps at 220lbs.

 

Like what the eff yo? Half way through set 3 I started to really reevaluate my life choices that led me here. By the end of the sets I wanted to cry. My legs had some hard ass time moving. And guess what? I get to do more tomorrow! Stupid squats.

 

15 hours ago, Harriet said:

What about chicken as well as ice cream? Not at the same time obviously. Consecutively. Ice cream then chicken. 

 

Hahaha, I wish my stomach was young enough to handle that like it used to. I had a pint of ice cream last night for dinner and it was definitely the wrong thing to eat before squatting in the morning. Definitely.

18 hours ago, AgentsSka said:

Also, since I'm in garage gym mode... show me yours!

 

I'll have to remember to take pics! I just have the basics, although I am still looking at adding some loadable dumbbells to start my garage bro curling.

 

19 hours ago, h3r0 said:

Squats! I want to see pictures of quadzilla when you are done! 

 

I am not looking forward to trying to find pants that fit my humongous quads. I may just have to switch to business casual sweatpants.

  • Like 3

"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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Oh wow, that programme looks brutal - I googled it, scrolled down, thought it was already looking intense and then the next section was labelled "Intense" and it just got... ouch.

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I'm getting DOMS just reading about what you are doing. Have fun trying to walk for the next few weeks.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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49 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm getting DOMS just reading about what you are doing. Have fun trying to walk for the next few weeks.

 

Walk? I feel sympathy pains as I picture getting out of bed in the morning!

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1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Walk? I feel sympathy pains as I picture getting out of bed in the morning!

Sitting down on the toilet to poop will be excruciating. 

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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3 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Walk? I feel sympathy pains as I picture getting out of bed in the morning!

 

I need to install some motorized omniwheels to the bed posts so I don't have to be bothered to get out of bed.

 

2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sitting down on the toilet to poop will be excruciating. 

 

I am very thankful that the condo I rent was built with elderly/handicapped individuals in mind. That low metal bar across from the toilet is clutch XD 

 

Week 0 Day 5:

 

Oh hey guess what I did this afternoon? Squats!

 

Smolov Base Week 1 Day 3:

  • 7 sets of 5 reps at 235lbs

These weren't toooooooo bad today. 5 reps or less I am okay with, even if it is more sets. My right side glute/hamstring area started getting tight during the last two sets so I am going to focus on that area this evening and tomorrow during the recovery stretches. The bright side though is that my left knee didn't click or feel weird at all during the session. This is good news because I have had knee pain/soreness issues for years and it's nice for it to feel normal for once.

 

Speaking of tomorrow: it's a rest day! The plan is to get in some bro benching and ring dips along with a low and slow bike ride and a looooooooooot of stretching and mobility work.

 

 

 

  • Like 4

"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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20 hours ago, bigm141414 said:

Oh hey guess what I did this afternoon? Squats!

tenor.gif?itemid=4862345

 

20 hours ago, bigm141414 said:

Speaking of tomorrow: it's a rest day! The plan is to get in some bro benching and ring dips along with a low and slow bike ride and a looooooooooot of stretching and mobility work.

Yeeee, don't neglect the guns now. 

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On 7/29/2020 at 7:55 PM, bigm141414 said:

Or just follow this thread and watch in abject horror as I descend into grumpy anguish and whiny-ness.

Oh absolutely. Always fun to watch people do this kind of thing to themselves ;) 

Main Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and a great coach

Current challenge: It's all future KB Girl's problem

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1 hour ago, AgentsSka said:

Squat's up?

 

ASDFaevradsfasdhfakjdsjf. That's what's up.

 

Week 0 Wrap Up

On Friday I didn't do much except be a vegetable. My body wasn't up for anything. I slept poorly and couldn't find my motivation. On Saturday, I found just a bit of it to do my squats.

 

Smolov Base Week 1 Day 4:

  • Squat - 10x3 @ 250.
    • These weren't bad at all. Like the sets of 5 I am fine with lower reps. Only downside is it takes forever and a day to finish the squat session. Pro tip: get an interval timer if you are thinking about running a program like this. I couldn't for the life of me remember how many sets I had done half way through so it was nice to have something keep track for me.

 

Sunday was a rest day and I, again, did my best impression of a slug all day. I also received a package of goodies from my mom which I immediately devoured because homemade baked goods should not go to waste. I will most likely regret eating nothing but cookies and chocolate cranberry granola, but I will let future Bigm deal with that.

 

Week 1 Day 2:

 

All right. The first day of squatting during the official challenge. Fuck you squats. That's all I have to say. I went out this morning to squat and I completely regret eating poorly and being a sloth over the weekend. This workout nearly broke me. After the 3rd set I had to pause my interval timer so I could rest a bit more. On the 4th set I felt my form starting to break down and my body was like "OKAY YOU JUST BARELY MADE IT TO PARALLEL! GO NO  FURTHER! BACK UP WITH YOU!"  No deep squatting today folks. So here's what I did:

 

Smolov Base Week 2 Day 1:

  • Squat - 4x9 @ 215lbs
    • I regret everything. Walking afterwards was not great. It's been over an hour now and my legs still don't want to do anything. I realized I need to order a anti-slip shower mat that provides more traction because standing up trying to clean up was more treacherous than I imagined. Also, if I ever own a house again, I am putting in a tall person sized tub so that I can just lay down. 
    • After the last rep my legs did not want to move to rerack the bar. It was an awkward shuffle and made me wish I had a full cage with a monolift attachment.

 

On the bright side I only have one workout left at 4x9. The less bright side is that the weight goes up 10 lbs next week. The only truly good news is that the new lifting tank tops I ordered arrived and I sported them during the session. This one adequately sums up my conversations with my lower body today:

 

Spoiler

image.png.9a9f55872f10484420339bf6cf0f4ccf.png

 

 

1 hour ago, KB Girl said:

Oh absolutely. Always fun to watch people do this kind of thing to themselves ;) 

 

Yup. Nerds always love watching a car crash in real time :D

 

 

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"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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25 minutes ago, bigm141414 said:

Pro tip: get an interval timer if you are thinking about running a program like this. I couldn't for the life of me remember how many sets I had done half way through so it was nice to have something keep track for me.

Most used item at our gym is the abacus from ikea. I’m not even joking x)

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Main Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and a great coach

Current challenge: It's all future KB Girl's problem

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1 hour ago, bigm141414 said:

Pro tip: get an interval timer if you are thinking about running a program like this. I couldn't for the life of me remember how many sets I had done half way through so it was nice to have something keep track for me.

 

I use a white board with a line drawn on it.  After every set, I swipe my finger through the line.

 

That tank is awesome.

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1 hour ago, bigm141414 said:

Yup. Nerds always love watching a car crash in real time :D

 

Schadenfreude is strong in this challenge.

giphy.gif

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On 8/3/2020 at 2:27 PM, KB Girl said:

Most used item at our gym is the abacus from ikea. I’m not even joking x)

OMG I LOVE THIS, hahahahahah.

 

And I support your new squat uniform. 

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On 8/3/2020 at 11:27 AM, KB Girl said:

Most used item at our gym is the abacus from ikea.

 

Today I learned that ikea sells abacuses (abacusii?).

 

On 8/3/2020 at 12:32 PM, AgentsSka said:

After every set, I swipe my finger through the line.

 

I am impressed that you have the wherewithal to remember to erase a line. I don't think I could do that.

 

On 8/4/2020 at 11:57 AM, Mike Wazowski said:

Here to cheer you on and/or help mop up the puddle that vaguely resembles you from the floor at the end

 

*insert Deep Space 9 Odo melting gif here* I couldn't find a suitable gif but that's what I was thinking.

 

And if you like this insanity, just wait until I get the nerve to try a 20 rep squat plan >.>

 

 

On 8/4/2020 at 4:35 AM, Big_Show said:

I do like that top, might have to look out for it when I get round to buying more gym kit.

 

I never used to wear a lot of tank tops but since I am garage gyming it these days, my collection has grown. Plus the interwebs is full of fantastical designs :)

 

 

UPDATE:

 

Week 1 Day 3:

 

Today was a non-squat day so I got in some light benching and started a new pullup/dip routine. For pull ups and dips I am basically stealing this from t-nation. I like it because a) it's simple and b) is basically grease the groove c) lasts 30 days so I have a goal to shoot for.

 

Non-Squat Workout

  • Bench - 8x4 @ 160lbs.
    • I'm going to continue following the Smolov Jr format for bench, just twice a week instead of 4x a week. I honestly like the volume and rep scheme for bench since I could use way more benching and pressing volume since I am not actively training them for PRs.
  • Pull-ups - 4
    • This was a test day to see what my current max is and oof I feel the extra pounds I've put on. A couple weeks ago I was able to do 6 so I am not too far off of where I was.
  • Ring Dips - 4 (red band for support)
    • Shoulders felt this. They are achy and not used to dipping. Red band will be used for a while.

Rest of the day was so so. I was at work till 7pm and starving by the time I got home. By the time I finished dinner I had like an hour before I was sleepy and headed off to bed.

 

Week 1 Day 4:

 

Today was a squat day. The morning started out fine until about 9am when I got pulled into a hastily arranged work meeting. The entire meeting left me frustrated and angry because I was butting heads with another engineer the whole time. This usually isn't an issue because I am not the lead of the program so I rarely have to speak during team meetings, but the lead engineer was still asleep since they were up until midnight debugging the issue we were talking about this morning. Anyways, I was pissed going into my squats and my mental state was decidedly distracted. Squats didn't help because it got my blood pumping and I couldn't stop being low level angry. Le sigh, that said, the session was good. Only achy-ness was DOMS related soreness and no issues with creaky joints.

 

Smolov Base Week 2 Day 2:

  • Squat - 5x7@230lbs.
    • All things equal, it was a good session. No form break downs and 7 reps feels like cake after the 9s on Monday (he says, ignoring the fact that these words will come back to bite him by the Squat Gods next week)

 

Afterwards I cleaned up, and got ready for work. I still have to finish my pullups (5 total today) and my dips (5 total today) at some point, but I have lab time again until 7 so it'll have to wait until tonight.

 

  • Like 5

"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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10 minutes ago, bigm141414 said:

Today I learned that ikea sells abacuses (abacusii?).

 

Abaci?

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27

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2 hours ago, bigm141414 said:

Today I learned that ikea sells abacuses (abacusii?).

TIL you can buy an abacus at IKEA. 

Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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