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Terinatum

Terinatum practices moderation

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Hey All,

 

Another chance to focus on what I want in life. Yay.

Before: inconsistent water intake; had stopped walking and hence fewer showers; Swimming's been good; Desserts have been too many after not having them at all; Campaign work is good but I often have to cram for time; Mapping has been crazy obsessive; Cooking has been nonexistent and Eating at home has only been because of delivery and covid.

 

Now, here's where I'm off to:

Water 8 cups/day -- Every day

Walking and Showering -- Mon, Wed, and Sat

Swimming -- Thurs

Dessert -- Tues, Thurs, and 1 over the weekend

Campaign work -- Mon, Wed, and Thurs

Mapping -- Take it easy! Don't get hyper-focused

Cooking and Eating at home -- Any day I can, once a week would be awesome

 

I'm stable with my emotional life which is still an odd feeling. With that however, I cannot get stuck enjoying that while habits go backwards.

Here we go!

 

Moderation

 

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So Moderation...

is hard?!

I don't understand. I  can spell it, I know the definition,and I know I want to do it. So why isn't it easier!

Hot damn. Love sarcasm some days.

 

Haven't finished with Dr Pepper yet. Candy is more days than scheduled. But, I'm kinda okay with my progress?

Not really sure about that, but I hope my decent mood is an indicator that things aren't going over the deep end without me realizing it.

 

Swimming and walking are happening on schedule (even an extra swim this week).

Water isn't too bad but I can tell, I'm not enthusiastic about it because I'm  drinking DP. So need to keep focused on that.

 

Campaign work is going pretty well. I just updated one game about some changes and the other new game is still on hold until 1 PC gets settled where she just moved to. I'm really enjoying the one campaign I'm running every week. Does a crush on a PC influence that? hehe

 

Mapping is tough but I'm narrowing things down a bit more.

One major difficulty is  making kingdoms big enough to support the population I have in my head. And without making travel through those territories take 6 weeks to walk thru!

Right now I have 5 "kingdoms" sharing 1 major coast line. I finally decided to narrow some kingdom's coastal waters and widen their territory further inland. Plus the Barren Hills doesn't have to be that far from  the coastline so other active people can rule inland from that area.

Any idea how much sq mileage a group of wood giants would need? Seems like it'd be A LOT.

 

So mood is good, communing with the sky and clouds while swimming is awesome, and gaming has been fun.

How are you all doing? Ready for week 1?

 

Who is this “Moderation” people keep telling me to drink ...

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I  am happy that you are happy! :) and baby steps with the food / drink situation sounds legit to me....! Glad you're here this challenge again! ❤️

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3 hours ago, Terinatum said:

One major difficulty is  making kingdoms big enough to support the population I have in my head. And without making travel through those territories take 6 weeks to walk thru!

The typical solution for this is population density, but I can't imagine the wood giants are into the whole urban metropolis scene.  Sounds like moving inland is the most realistic option.

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Ahhhh, therapy....yay.

 

Had some sad stuff and therapeutic change come up this weekend. So happy to have my therapist. She rocks! We've worked together for 12 years and now I'm slowly learning to be my own safe space/person that I can rely on to help me thru stuff. NO HURRY!

 

Romance/Fantasy talk

Spoiler

So I have been crushing on someone I know is asexual and aromantic (the safe person to focus on). I deal with my loneliness in the absence of romance by using a person (known, real, or not) to spend my romantic emotions on in my fantasies. It's safe, I'm in control, and I get what I want. And I don't have to risk rejection, finding out a real person is an ass, or that I'm not of sufficient quality to be in a real relationship (false,  but still worried).
These fears come to the surface when my young Parts feel lonely or needy. I am quite far along in my healing so now it's time to work on the more deeply rooted aspects (this, cooking for myself, and physical self-care). I'm trying to give it time and plenty of compassion to set these fears free. So in this regard,  I want to get where I'm less worried about the what-ifs of meeting people.

---------------------------------------------------

 

I'm really happy to have helped a nerd with their D&D world building. I like being useful with things I love so much!

 

So,  check in? Yikes. Okay.

Water 8 cups/day -- Every day (hum...not. But aside from this weekend, it's getting a bit better)

Walking and Showering -- Mon, Wed, and Sat (yes and no. Walked and showered Mon, Walked Wed, neither on Sat)

Swimming -- Thurs (yes, and Tuesday too!)

Dessert -- Tues, Thurs, and 1 over the weekend (mmm. yeah, went well over, not even including yesterday)

Campaign work -- Mon, Wed, and Thurs (yuppers)

Mapping -- Take it easy! Don't get hyper-focused (working on math and population land needs - ugh)

Cooking and Eating at home -- Any day I can, once a week would be awesome (not even the thought came to pass this week)

 

Both my therapist and I think working on moderation is good. I have been whittling down the all-or-nothing in my brain. This should help.

Okay, bounce back day! And laundry! hehehe

 

 

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you are doing great Teri! ❤️

 

It took me 14 years of therapy to get well, so 12 is absolutely cool with me! Enjoy the process! Im glad you have someone who is good.

 

big hug! :)

 

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15 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

you are doing great Teri! ❤️

 

It took me 14 years of therapy to get well, so 12 is absolutely cool with me! Enjoy the process! Im glad you have someone who is good.

 

big hug! :)

 

 

Yeah, without Jill, I'd be seriously floundering. Scary-like.

 

15 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

PS: hope that there is no more sad stuff for you to deal with! ❤️

 

I'm getting there. It's not the worst ever so it should be fine with some self-compassion.

 

"Here, self-compassion. Com,on. That's a good puppy!"

 

 

 

43 Best Compassion images | Compassion, Self compassion ...Sweet puppies - Dogs Photo (21180246) - FanpopSweet puppy face like my Buffy | Cute puppies, Dogs, Cute ...

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23 hours ago, Terinatum said:

 

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I deal with my loneliness in the absence of romance by using a person (known, real, or not) to spend my romantic emotions on in my fantasies. It's safe, I'm in control, and I get what I want. And I don't have to risk rejection, finding out a real person is an ass, or that I'm not of sufficient quality to be in a real relationship

 

 

...that feels like you could've plucked it out of my brain. I spent a lot of my time between relationships doing exactly that. Wish I could say something helpful, but from the sound of it your therapist is doing wonderfully in this area! I'm glad you've found and managed to hang on to a good one, they're hard to come by.

 

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On 8/4/2020 at 12:34 AM, Terinatum said:

I'm really happy to have helped a nerd with their D&D world building. I like being useful with things I love so much!

Your help was exactly what I needed.  I spent some time yesterday working on some ideas it sparked ;) 

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Ugh.

2:20 am

Coming off Dr P and Junk food. Yes, it's a hangover.

Emotional turmoil is moving, but so f'king slowly.

 

Here's to Thursday swimming!!

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On 8/6/2020 at 7:24 AM, Terinatum said:

Coming off Dr P and Junk food. Yes, it's a hangover.

 

Oh yeah, that's a rough one. Here's hoping it passes quickly!

 

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On 8/4/2020 at 11:42 AM, iatetheyeti said:

 

...that feels like you could've plucked it out of my brain. I spent a lot of my time between relationships doing exactly that. Wish I could say something helpful, but from the sound of it your therapist is doing wonderfully in this area! I'm glad you've found and managed to hang on to a good one, they're hard to come by.

 

This is helpful. Not being alone in these struggles is oddly comforting. I don't want you to have these troubles, but it makes me think I might get through it. Sharing the 'being human' status is important. Thanks.

On 8/6/2020 at 11:16 AM, fearless 2.0 said:

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So lovely, thank you, dear.

8 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

Oh yeah, that's a rough one. Here's hoping it passes quickly!

 

Thanks. Dr P is done, junk food is still hanging around more than I'd like. But time, I think, is on my side. Yes it is.

 

So Thursday was nice. Once I went swimming, stress just melted away. The mood lasted about 3 hours which may be a record for me, since I was on my own. Yay.

Also, taking a hard look at my DMing style. I have worked my way into story-telling more than action. Gotta mix it back up. So undead and human mobs should do it. Hehe

 

Cheers All

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I'm glad to hear you got a nice 3 hour bock of stress free time :) 

 

7 hours ago, Terinatum said:

undead and human mobs should do it

Sounds like a good recipe for some action :D 

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12 hours ago, Terinatum said:

This is helpful. Not being alone in these struggles is oddly comforting. I don't want you to have these troubles, but it makes me think I might get through it. Sharing the 'being human' status is important. Thanks.

 

I'm glad to hear it, and I absolutely get it. Knowing you're not alone is always a comfort of some kind. You will get through it, and as you're doing so you've got a lot of people around you to help you on your way.

 

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On 8/7/2020 at 11:52 PM, WhiteGhost said:

I'm glad to hear you got a nice 3 hour bock of stress free time :) 

 

Sounds like a good recipe for some action :D 

Thanks. Yeah swimming just works wonders for me. I went again on Saturday. Yay.

Yeah, I think the humans are gonna mob the palace because one of the royal houses lets a secret out that the King to be isn't completely human. They should go nuts with that. The undead will be guarding/are prisoners of another royal house maniac that's trying (rightfully, but doing it evilly) take back the throne for a cousin who doesn't even want it. Great fun!

 

On 8/8/2020 at 5:13 AM, iatetheyeti said:

 

I'm glad to hear it, and I absolutely get it. Knowing you're not alone is always a comfort of some kind. You will get through it, and as you're doing so you've got a lot of people around you to help you on your way.

 

Yeah, you're so right. I spent decades not reaching out and thinking I just 'had' to suffer through it to prove I was good enough to exist. Crazy-makin' shite. "But I'm feeling much better now!"

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7 hours ago, Terinatum said:

but how do I deal with this....

I have zero self control when it comes to stuff like that, so my only option is to keep it out of the house as much as possible.  

 

But..

 

Funeral candy? Seriously???  That just seems so wrong.

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^^ Definitely wrong! ^^

 

 

Water - not enough (had 2 powerade zeros in the last day and a half (chemicals vs sugar,  both stink)

Walk - Got a walk in this evening

Self Care - and a shower WHOOP!

Campaign - worked on two of my three campaigns this afternoon and 'practiced' Paint.net (ugh)

Pretty chill day so I feel like last week's drama is settling.

 

Wrightsville Beach Facility 25 Years Old! | Central VT ...

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Hi there!

make that a page of pics with burgers and fries for me, the candy isn't making me weak...😂

 

you've come a long way. Ive never seen you  mentally so well before... and not only for a couple of days like it is with me. You seem calm and happy longterm and that's awesome! ❤️

 

does Dr Pepper come in a sugar free version? We don't drink it over here so I don't know. Don't mind the Softdrinks with all their chemicals.. they suck, but I still drink them once in a while. I really believe that clean eating is the best, and!!! I am only successful long term if I allow myself the occasional crap as long as it is without sugar. Just put down a ginormous monster energy drink to be honest. ;)

 

Enjoy the water, stay happy and thanks for just being here!

 

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