• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Terinatum

Terinatum practices moderation

Recommended Posts

Hey All,

 

Feelin pretty good today.

 

Drinking only water: 6 cups -- no soda or powerade

short stroll, barefoot

good gaming session

nice progress on Paint.net

laundry

1/2 bathroom floor early this morning!

did recycling and trash on Tuesday

asked for help on Tuesday as well

made my bed and will try to sleep on it tonight and see if it's as bad as I think or was I blowing it out of proportion

cheeseburger, grapes, kitkat, reese stick, piece of gum (experimenting: trying to find relief for my constant clenching of my right side it's messing up a tooth]), curry chicken as I type this, and my meds.

 

Mood is stable, crush issue has settled down (much quicker than ever before), and looking forward to tomorrow for  whatever it has  in store.

 

Cheers and Air Hugs!

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, I'm wrestling (good mood still intact) with the reasons why I don't cook meals for myself, eat veggies, shower regularly, do PT exercises, or workout with any regularity.

 

Now PTSD is a kicker, I know. But so much has gotten better over the years that the questions need to be looked at again with a clearer eye and heart. Which, yay, I have now.

 

I talk myself out of these things quite easily. However, all I hear are the excuses: takes too long, might screw it up, won't help, etc.

 

I need to find a calm place when I hear these defenses and be still, wait for the notions and beliefs that are being 'protected' to come to the surface. Hell,  ask them to come to the surface. I firmly believe that the voices we contend with inside are almost always Parts of ourselves caught in the past. They often hold onto moments that were too difficult/confusing/scary to handle back then. That worked, cause well here I am, so that Part is certain that the same action must be taken again when a similar event occurs. How do I convince it that things are different? How do I assure it that I can handle living life now? How do I hold that scared Part with compassion and curiosity? Will it tell me its story? Will it be willing to let it go and trust me to be the 'parent' to all my Parts?

 

Goals for the Rest of this Challenge!

Drink lots of water!

Go swimming, do art therapy, and enjoy my days.

Make sacred space for my Parts.

Be open to hear their stories and needs.

Be the adult and lead my Parts to freedom and integration into my Self.

 

 

 

My first abstract watercolor attempt.

 

 

Watercolor.jpg

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad to hear things are on the up. Your theory about our inner voices is interesting, and I can't help but think you're on to something there. It certainly explains a lot...

 

And I love the abstract, seems to me like it's speaking of growth :)

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/17/2020 at 2:49 AM, fearless 2.0 said:

sounds very good and healthy to me! :)

and the picture is beautiful.... very alive! ❤️

great to hear you are doing so well!!!! 

Thanks. I'm hanging in there with the changes. Still wobbly, but not falling on my face!

 

On 8/17/2020 at 3:47 AM, iatetheyeti said:

Glad to hear things are on the up. Your theory about our inner voices is interesting, and I can't help but think you're on to something there. It certainly explains a lot...

 

And I love the abstract, seems to me like it's speaking of growth :)

 

I can't take credit for the internal parts theory as it is a therapeutic system called Internal Family Systems (IFS). It's quite wonderful and has really  helped by make peace with some old traumas and mal-adaptations my brain made in order to cope at the time.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

https://internalfamilysystems.pt/intervenientes/richard-schwartz

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Terinatum said:

I can't take credit for the internal parts theory as it is a therapeutic system called Internal Family Systems (IFS). It's quite wonderful and has really  helped by make peace with some old traumas and mal-adaptations my brain made in order to cope at the time.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

https://internalfamilysystems.pt/intervenientes/richard-schwartz

 

Thanks for the links! I've had a quick nosy and bookmarked them for further reading :)

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey All,

 

Wow. Things shift quickly.

My mood was good until I tried a new approach to something I'm familiar with doing (IFS).

Problem:  I didn't think through it before attempting it. In hindsight, "Not a good plan."

 

I did IFS therapy work using a new book as a guide. Their first approach was to dive-in to approaching unknown Parts. Only then did they write about an actual session, with a therapist.

Unfortunately, I know the system  and thought I could handle the too-direct approach. I even remember saying it was a bit much. Without prep, I met 2 'Protector Parts' and 2 'Exiled Parts' in one sitting. The book gives you a small handful of questions to ask each of them.

I didn't prepare myself, I didn't think to take my time and go into a more therapeutic approach after the questions. It didn't feel like an actual session until I turned the page and saw the questions directed toward the two exiles which NEED extra support and tenderness when conversing with them.

Exiled Parts are the ones that hold the traumatic/painful events in your life. They hold the pain, the anger, sadness, and hopelessness. I KNOW THIS! And still I plunged ahead in thinking-mode, instead of emotional-support-mode. In a real session, you don't ask them questions until you let them tell you their story and they find trust in you. 

 

So, as I should have expected I think, my Parts went a bit nutty. All the movement I've been making stopped. I went into seclusion and felt intense self-pity and helplessness. I've been there before, but not recently so the change was blatant and unforgiving. I let it happen (I can usually tell these days when to stand solid in the face of their emotions and when to let them work it out their way and then bring them back to the new place. Haven't seen the new place lately! 🤪 

 

No more using the book as a step-by-step. I may still find good ideas, but I know the approach I need to use so I'll stick to that. But why am I scared to do the work alone? It's not like I don't have people to count on if I need some security and compassion if the session is tough. I could easily schedule my sessions the day before my therapy sessions with my counselor. And, I suppose, there's a therapist out there that will do IFS work via tele-health? Without going through the hoop of a bunch of 'getting to know you sessions'?

 

What does this rebellion look like?

Drinking Dr Pepper

Eating a meal that consists of candy/sugar/junk food

Not drinking water

No stable emotional well-being

Not walking

Not doing self-care

Not cleaning the house

Not.

Not.

Not.

Ugh.

 

The Plan? Good f'ing question! Mmm...

Water,

NO Dr Pepper. This will be a huge benefit to my physical well-being (not being bloated, not nearly as gassy [I get hard core belching and it feels like a heart attack])

Back to semi-healthy meals (frozen foods [chicken curry, pesto chicken, and pineapple chicken], deli meat sandwiches, and uncured ham and yams)

Back to water! oh yeah, said that. WORTH mentioning many times!

Spa days (did one last night which was a good sign - teeth and body hair)

RELAX about the amount and quickness of getting back to my new normal. Need to reassure my Parts that they are safe and I can do this healthy living thing without becoming a dictator.

 

Okay, breathe!

 

Something I have been  working on during this rebellious time. It's the most populated and developed continent in the northern hemisphere of my fantasy world, Acillatem. B helped me name it way back when. It's Metallica spelled backwards.
 

 

 

Xuswen Coast to post.png

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I hear you!!!! ❤️

sending you a warm hug and good stable vibes! Good to hear from you! :)

 

I'll take all the vibes and hugs. Thanks!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad to see you recognized the situation and were able to take course correcting actions. 

 

What software dis you use to make your map, it doesn't look like Inkarnate?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/30/2020 at 4:59 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Glad to see you recognized the situation and were able to take course correcting actions. 

 

What software dis you use to make your map, it doesn't look like Inkarnate?

Thanks. I'm getting quicker with that!

I use Paint.net (free or $7 us thru MS). It's like photoshop, not the paint app on windows. Some of the assets are from Caeora who did the village for me. The rest: coastline, rivers, placement, etc. is me.

12 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

 

giphy.gif

I'm working on it.

I'm not sure how to approach getting back to my new normal so being on here feels like pressure instead of reassurance. I'll try and work up a challenge for next time and maybe just check in and not judge my actions until then. Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

Love ya!

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.