A yogini journey towards the miracle morning

[Edigo]

Hi guys! It has been a while, but this NF thing really worked for me in the past. As this is my birthday month, there is no better timing than now!

 

So having already on mind what it wanted as goals this time around, I decided to use my Ouitch oracle cards to see what I needed in the upcoming month. I did a 3 card layout. Here is what I got:

 

1)      First card represents current energy and the present. Yule: rebirth, resolutions. What do I need?

2)      Second card is the subconscious, desires, what needs to be healed, the past. Uranus: eccentricity, difference, predictability and unpredictability. Am I happy in my current routine and choices? Do I need to stand out more?

3)      Third card is what you need to do, the solution, future energy. Anahata: Heart chakra, connection, love, link between the spiritual and physical chakra. Self love, putting oneself as a priority. I drew it upside down, which means: stop choosing harmony over self care, doing so means people walk all over me. Time to say what I think and take my place.

This draw is incredible! What it tells me is exactly related to this challenge mindset. I am in a questioning energy, wondering what I want to change and what to keep in my daily routines. Does it nourish me? Does it bring joy? Does it need to be changed or does it need to stay as is? What do I need? Can I embrace my spiritual eccentricity? What resolutions do I need? I need to put myself in priority, with love. And stop letting people (my kids especially) walk all over me.  Take more space; stop fearing that I bother others when I am myself; putting some good boundaries.

 

Here are my goals this time around: going back to the times a few year back when I felt my best, which was when I took 1h solely to myself every morning to take care of my mental and physical health.

 

The ‘’SAVERS’’ miracle morning appeals to me so I will do it like so:

 

S – Silence: meditation, 3 min cardiac coherence breaths. 

A-    Affirmation: mantra signing and affirmation. Currently the Green Tara mantra appeals to me. 

V- Visualization: see myself in a safe loving bubble; see myself interacting with the people around me with calm, love and compassion. So that it becomes more a part of me

E- Exercise: The monthly yoga with Adrienne calendar, this month’s theme is INQUIRE. 

R- Read: current read is the miracle morning for this savers routine, I’m about half through. After that, will see what calls me.

S- Script: journal a little every morning, just to see what thoughts are there, trying to calm the mind and asses how I am in this day

 

It will look like this in reality:

-          Wake – do some deep breaths in bed, doing about 3 min of cardiac coherence.

-          Do some yoga, from the calendar 30-60 min, followed by some Green Tara mantra, and then my own daily intention.

-          Go take a shower, take time to embrace the moment in water, then take care or my face, teeth and general look. Get dressed.

-          Go downstairs to do my treatments (I have Cystic Fibrosis) and read while doing them. About 10-15 min.

-          Take my coffee and journal a few minutes

-          Eat breakfast and take my morning pills. Loving the overnight oats, I am waiting on some new flavors I ordered, to try some new mixes.

 

This routine should take from 1h to 1:30h I suppose. I work from home because of Covid, so it should work out fine without being stressful for this whole month. Will see how I will adapt it in September when kids have to go back to school.

 

So here are the actual 3 things this represents in this challenge:

1)      Meditate daily

2)      Practice daily yoga

3)      Eat a good breakfast everyday (overnight oats)

 

Self reminder : all this is to put myself as a priority, be more grounded, be more calm, in a loving caring way, towards myself first to I can be a better human for my loved ones.

 

[Edigo]

Weekly progress 

[Edigo]

well, that was a weird day...

 

started out fine, did my new routine even if i did it upside down, felt great.

 

Ate my oatmeal, but felt weak at lunch, where i ate a super big salad with salmon. And chicken with fries at diner. Still hungry, probably having weird sugar high/lows so eating a bagel hoping the carbs are what i am craving. It was the first day back to work after 2 weeks vacation, so a bit tired as well. Probably why i felt week also. Or PMS. Or both. Whatever!

 

Then... well, a friend died. I learned about it today, she died yesterday. She was my model, same illness as me (cystic fibrosis), crazy cool funny attitude, resilient as fuck, mother of two teenage boys. About same age as me, and i wanted to be like her when i grow up. She was hospitalised, like we regularly are, except this time she waited because of covid, not wanting to catch it, so thenshe needed a small routine surgery. And it didn't go well...so she was in an induced coma for the last 2 weeks, unable to breathe by herself, too fragile now to be able to consider a lung & heart transpland. Docs said they did everything they could, and that all was left was for her body to heal by itself.  Sadly, i honestly had low hope for it to happen. I mean, this shit is a degenerative illness, it never gets better in the long run, and she had already lost most of her health even though she made the most of it. So rest in peace my dear friend, enjoy this newfound fresh air in full lungs, and watch over us please. You did good in this world.

 

And strangely, yesterday, about the same time she died, probably, when i think about it,  i had this thought, that my birthday is next week, i'll turn 38. When i was born, I was expected to maybe reach adulthood, if i was lucky. This used to be an infantile illness. And I am in the lucky generation of CF that got to have kids, with a median survival age estimated at 50 now, still going up. So i have, at the moment, maybe 10-15 years at least in front of me. Feeling grateful that i can still enjoy a good quality of life. That i can still make projects for my future and challenges for my now like NF. 

 

So ... mixed feelings today. Sad of course, somewhat discouraged. Pissed against this stupid ilness. Gratefull. Butt kicked. And, a bit flabergasted, how routine can sneek up on me and make me forget all this, to enjoy that i am alive, my kids, the small things. And all of everything. How we can easily focus on our stupid ego and stuff that is not really important when we look a bit deeper into it.

 

This is a huge kick in the butt. Not that i wanted to have one...but ya know... life, and shit, happens. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Emma]

What can I say?

Sorry that you lost a friend that way. Too scared of covid to go to hospital in time, maybe. That’s harsh.

Hugs. Lots of hugs.
And I hope you can have a full life with no (or at least, few) regrets.

[darkfoxx]

Welcome back! That’s a beyond shit start to the week, but hopefully you can harness that energy into an even stronger nudge to work on what really matters in life. 

[Scaly Freak]

On 8/2/2020 at 10:18 AM, Edigo said:

Self reminder : all this is to put myself as a priority, be more grounded, be more calm, in a loving caring way, towards myself first to I can be a better human for my loved ones.

 

I really like this reminder. Focusing on self first because that's the only way to truly be able to be there for those we love.  

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. 

[Renate]

Took a while to for me to catch up. sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

As for the "stop letting people walk over you"goal I suggest writing concrete things down that they do, and considering a proportionate reaction. 

 

I had/have a general assertiveness goal and I do w/e with regards to strangers, to build the skill. But towards my family I like to consider it all a bit more. When you feel put down, walked over, sometimes a reaction can be a bit excessive. And you cannot take back words. Visualising how you would like to be in those situations help mellow it out and properly re-educate the people around you to treat you better. 

 

Dunno if that is a useful comment (or if it is clear what I mean). Ignore if not Hope you are holding up alright and finding your center, enjoying life!

[Edigo]

didnt come here for a while. but thanks aoena for this advice 

[Renate]

3 hours ago, Edigo said:

didnt come here for a while. but thanks aoena for this advice 

 

No problem   Glad it sounded useful!

 

It's Athena, by the way (no worries), like the goddess of wisdom and war, the 'o' symbol is a Greek letter "theta", which is pronounces like a T