Oromendur: Late for Dinner

[oromendur]

"We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them." ~ Bilbo

 

I'm late for dinner, and I don't even have the excuse of adventuring (sigh)

 

Here's a spreadsheet.

 

Hopefully I'll catch up with the narrative sometime this week. Good luck to everyone in Week One!

 

"Need brooks no delay, yet late is better than never." ~Éomer.

[Sciread77]

Following m!

[Snarkyfishguts]

You are precisely on time. 

[oromendur]

 Well, I still haven't got around to developing any sort of useful narrative for this challenge, but I was letting that prevent me from posting any updates and that's just stupid. So I am hereby declaring this an unchallenge from a narrative perspective (although it is likely to continue sporting various semi-appropriate Tolkien quotes) and will now [BLEEP]ing get on with the [WEEKS ZERO AND ONE UPDATE] already.

 

For this challenge I made a few small tweaks to my spreadsheet-of-doom that lists out my daily and weekly routines. Firstly, I combined my solidly-at-maintenance tooth flossing/brushing habit with my solidly-at-maintenance face washing habit in order to make room for another requirement in my evening routine: getting to bed before 11. Second, in addition to spending at least a half-hour outside and doing cleaning tasks three times a week, I also am requiring myself to accomplish some sort of project, with a legitimate before-and-after condition. Originally I had planned on these being before/after photos to be posted to Instagram, but so far I have a) forgotten to take a 'before' photo and b) chosen a network-based project with no real 'before' photo options, and so I'll settle for posts describing the projects. This probably means I won't be doing the big cleanup jobs I had envisioned when I made the plan, but let's be real, I probably wouldn't have done those anyway...

 

In Week Zero (which I didn't really take seriously because I still thought I was going to put together a narrative challenge at that point) I achieved a dismal (but still passing! barely!) D- score of 60%. My before/after project was to install and get working the cool little portable mini-split air conditioner I finally broke down and bought a few weeks ago. You see, my home -- built in pre-climate-change temperate Southern California -- has neither central heating nor air conditioning, and there is neither ducting nor any real possibility of installing it because, well, it's a dome. There is no way I can afford a full multi-room mini-split system at the moment -- never mind buying the equipment, the installation costs alone would wipe me out. Over the last few years I have generally survived the summers by finding somewhere else to be in August and September. That is unfortunately not a thing this year (sigh). So I put this clever little machine on an overburdened but interest-free credit card, and I hope it will make a difference when it gets hotter again (I didn't get it installed until after the first horrid heat wave, and of course it's been nice since). Here's the after shot (spoiler for photo):

 

Spoiler

 

 

In Week One I performed much better, pulling out an 83% for solid B-. The project, which grew out of my Week Zero one, was to try and integrate my decidedly dumb air conditioner with one of the various smarter devices I have scattered about the house; ideally I want to set things up so it kicks on by itself when it starts to warm up, because a) my house is pretty good about passive heating and cooling but you need to stay way ahead of it and b) if staying ahead of things relies on me being aware enough of my surroundings to stop my work and take action in time for it to do any good, it is likely I will fail every single time. I got most of the way there -- I installed some cheap internet-connected thermometer/hygrometers and successfully got them to show up on the interwebs -- but the sensor/trigger/action loop isn't all the way closed, mostly because I'm too cheap to pay for licenses, therefore I'm trying to do this on my own server, and I don't really understand MQTT all that well yet  So I will have to finish that up in Week Two. I'll report on it, but it explicitly may NOT count as a project, since I'm giving myself the credit in Week One for something that I haven't quite finished all the way.

 

Considering how many near-perfect days I managed in Week One, and how [BLEEP]ing hard I worked -- it is really REALLY difficult for me to stop what I'm doing and initiate my overlong evening routine in time to be pulling back the covers at 11! -- I felt like my score should have been MUCH higher. The PAI goal is what got me. I've spent two weeks quite literally within one big or two small cardio workouts of meeting my PAI goals, and just could not be bothered with actually doing it. If it weren't for my Boston friend (who was very excited this week to tell me about a huge step she has taken towards meeting her physical goals, making me feel ashamed of myself) and my sister (who sent me a guilt-inducing text demanding pictures of my local canyon because she knew perfectly well I hadn't left the house in two weeks, making me feel even more ashamed of myself) I'm not sure I ever would have pulled out of it. I did, though, and I'm going in to this week with PAI in the green, so hopefully I'll be motivated to keep it there.

 

"Well, well! it might be worse, and then again it might be a good deal better.... On we go!" ~Gandalf

[oromendur]

On 8/3/2020 at 1:55 PM, Sciread77 said:

Following m!

 

Welcome! Hope you're all hanging in there with all the school stress.

 

On 8/6/2020 at 7:06 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

You are precisely on time. 

 

Well, I would be, were I a wizard, of course. Maybe I am? I don't even know anymore...

[Ann of Owlshire]

Hello, there you are! Shows how long it’ been since I’ve checked the threads.... 

[Sciread77]

15 hours ago, oromendur said:

 

Welcome! Hope you're all hanging in there with all the school stress.

 

 

C’est la vie, no? 

 

15 hours ago, oromendur said:

 

Well, I would be, were I a wizard, of course. Maybe I am? I don't even know anymore...

Of course you’re a wizard, Oromendur the White. It’ll just take you some time to regain your memories after dealing with that balrog. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

If EVE and WALL-E had a robot baby, it would look like your air conditioner/heating unit. 💚

[Mudd]

How goes the battle?

[oromendur]

OK, so I guess I suck at posting on the forums this time around.

 

It's not the only thing I suck at right now (sigh)

 

From a challenge perspective things are actually going fairly well. Here's my [WEEKS TWO AND THREE UPDATE]

 

Week Two turned out to be the best in a while, coming in a solid A at 96%. Monday through Friday were all perfect days, and with the hard encouragement of a single empty pass/fail project block staring me in the face I found the motivation necessary to tackle the craft disaster that was the half-completed mask factory cluttering up my dining room table. Spoiler for IG photos:

Spoiler

 

 

 

Week Three also turned out well, another solid A performance at 93%. It was a lot harder, though. Despite multiple daily requirements (and the obvious need for it visible everywhere I look around this place) I didn't clean a blessed thing until Friday, and then just barely, and I left an awful lot of the weeklies until Sunday, which made the day crazy and unpleasant. But I got it done. My project credit this week came from a combination of two half-projects (neither is really big enough to count, but both have been open loops tripping me up for FOREVER). Firstly, I did a bunch of cleanup and re-configuration on my home webserver (which I had to rebuild a few weeks ago and for which I had no backups, ugh), and I almost have a functioning home automation and weather dashboard running, which I plan to view on an ancient iPad in the kitchen. Voilà: Echo Show for cheapskates

 

Secondly -- and this one is kind of embarrassing -- I FINALLY broke through whatever block I was having on making kimchi. Spoiler for lengthy project babbling and photos:

Spoiler

 

You see, since I was getting really salty about paying something like $10 for what is basically cabbage, I bought all of the stuff I needed to do it up right (gochugaru, saeujeot, Napa cabbage, daikon radishes, even an Asian pear to mix into the sauce) on my very first venture out to an Asian grocery something like two months ago. Then I just didn't do it. It was all too hard. The cabbage wilted and the radishes got slimy, so I composted them and replaced them on my next outing (when I realized there were literally dozens of different sauces and pastes and things out there necessary to make the Chinese and Thai dishes I've been playing with, things I unfortunately can't get without driving to San Diego or paying three times the going rate on Amazon). And then the kimchi vegetables went bad again (sigh) I'm not going to say exactly how many times this happened since my initial kimchi-making impulse, but I will say I've gotten pretty good at chopping up cabbages in the compost bin with a shovel... Anyway. The dragon is slain and the kimchi is fermenting.

 

 

It really wasn't that big of a deal, and if it turns out well I'm confident I'll keep doing it. I am reminded how much I hate cleaning the food processor when I can't use the dishwasher, though. (Not as much as I'd hate crushing ginger and onions and salted shrimp into a paste with a mortar and pestle, of course, but, well, you know.)

 

 

But, all of this good challenge success notwithstanding, life has been REALLY [BLEEP]ING HARD recently. Spoiler for pathetic and self-pitying moaning:

Spoiler

 

It has been miserably hot, hotter than the backdoor of hell as they say, and there is no relief in sight. My little AC that could (which has been christened Ev-ee thanks to Snarky's clever observation above) does its very best, but it's really only capable of lowering the temperature by ten to twelve degrees F (about 6º C) as compared to outside.  With highs of 97ºF/36ºC  for two weeks and counting, that's really just enough to piss you off. A large part of why I didn't do any cleaning last week is because the cleaning zone was upstairs and it was just TOO. [BLEEP]ing. HOT.

 

Add not one but two ridiculously inconvenient bouts of chronic back pain (the first bad enough I had to put in a call to the VA doc to send me some more meds, which finally came in the mail this week just in time to not be able to head off the second) and I am just basically failing to person right now. Because of the pandemic and living alone, I feel sort of like I'm in solitary confinement for a crime I didn't commit, and it feels like nothing I do matters in the slightest because life is all going to end up being nothing but misery in the end. I'm eating crap because it's too hot to cook and going out for groceries is just too hard (and having to get dressed and talk in yet another clueless delivery guy who won't find the house and definitely won't drive down the steep driveway is even harder). I'm sleeping crap (if it's not the heat it's the pain, sometimes if I'm lucky it's both AND the neighbor's dog barks into the wee hours). My exercise routine to keep the PAI score green is basically 'do nothing at all for six days and then thrash myself into painful insensibility on Sunday in the heat of the day' and this makes for a very painful Monday morning, when I'm supposed to be all fired up to do it all again. My moods are swinging crazily -- I go from screaming rage when stupid Alexa refuses to stop playing music after I'm in bed (having worked VERY HARD to get there by 11!) to inconsolable weeping when I finally manage to get myself to cook something, and the oil got too hot and the spices burn up into acrid smoke billowing into an already over-heated room.  Life is just really hard right now.

 

 

All right. Moaning done. I do have to say that, even if I'm not posting very often, having the challenge active is doing me a world of good. Miserable or not, I have a clear list of tasks I need to do every day (tasks which, importantly, I have successfully completed in the recent past). By doing them I can at least count some minor success in the wide sea of failure. It's not much, but it's something, and it's keeping me going. I am almost ready to send the manuscript of my revised dissertation to the academic press that said they'd schedule a review, and that's good. I've been doing a lot of solid cleanup and rewrite work on an old NaNo novel, and that's good. Language training is going très bien et c'est vraiment très bon. As long as you don't catch me in the middle of an emotional storm, I'm generally convinced I'm doing the best I can with what I have right now.

 

I do think I need to make some adjustments to the dailies, though. My 'in bed by 11' task was intended to force me into a position where I'd get enough sleep, but it's almost counter-productive at this point; I procrastinate in the evening, doom-scrolling or reading recipes until the last minute, and then I have to scramble and run really hot to get everything done in time to leap into bed milliseconds before the clock ticks over from :00 to :01, and then I'm so stressed and in such a high state of activation that it takes me forever to fall asleep, which starts ramping up the depression and anxiety, and then I wake up sore and tired and grumpy in the hot morning and the cycle continues. I know all of this punishment is coming -- and yet I still procrastinate I'm going to muscle through another week to see if I just need more pattern-adjustment time, but if it continues being this bad I'll probably shift over to a 'get eight hours of sleep' goal for Week Five. We'll have to see.

 

Well, all I can say is: things look as hopeless as a frost in Spring. ~Samwise Gamgee (he was wrong btw) 

[oromendur]

On 8/11/2020 at 1:17 AM, Ann of Vries said:

Hello, there you are! Shows how long it’ been since I’ve checked the threads.... 

 

Welcome!

 

(Yes, it took me two weeks to respond. Checking threads? What's that, precious?)

[oromendur]

On 8/11/2020 at 5:12 AM, Sciread77 said:

C’est la vie, no? 

 

La vie est difficile maintenant mais c'est-ce que c'est <hausse les épaules>

 

On 8/11/2020 at 5:12 AM, Sciread77 said:

Of course you’re a wizard, Oromendur the White. It’ll just take you some time to regain your memories after dealing with that balrog. 

 

Is THAT what's going on right now? This explains so many things 

[oromendur]

On 8/11/2020 at 5:19 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

If EVE and WALL-E had a robot baby, it would look like your air conditioner/heating unit. 💚

 

YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT AND ITS NAME IS NOW EV-EE 

[oromendur]

On 8/17/2020 at 2:34 PM, Mudd said:

How goes the battle?

 

Well, I'm still alive, so I guess that means it isn't over yet  

 

Awesome of you to stop by and check on me, though, thank you! Hope your own battles are going well.

[juliebarkley]

12 minutes ago, oromendur said:

As long as you don't catch me in the middle of an emotional storm, I'm generally convinced I'm doing the best I can with what I have right now.

No one can ever expect more of yourself than that. These are rough times, and I'm glad that having a challenge going is helping give direction to your days and successes in your life.

[Snarkyfishguts]

My friend, a wizard checks in when she damn well feels like it, or when the plot needs to move forward in a new direction. 
 

it is way too hot! I’m so happy EV-EE is keeping up the cool. You know, ice cream has a lot of calcium. Calcium is food for your bones. AND it has protein. Protein is good for your muscles. 
 

be kind to yourself. No one is at their best these day. Alexa is built for yelling at. I also like to talk to her like a person. “How was your day?”  It’s not failure,  it’s just part of being human. Congrats on not being a terminator. You may pass to the next checkpoint. 💚

[Ann of Owlshire]

Echoing others—these are tough times. Give yourself a bit of slack. And keep kicking that challenges ass and checking in once in a while so Mother Hen doesn’t worry

 

Also, jealous on the kimchi. It’s ridiculously priced out here, too. Mr has promised me a dedicated kimchi fridge at the new place so I can make it. (He understands it is the food of my people, but he can’t stand how it makes everything in the fridge smell like kimchi.)

 

 

[Mudd]

Looking forward to the week 4 update!

[Sciread77]

I’m also jealous of the kimchi. It is typically only available at the expensive grocery stores. I should try to make some. I did make some sauerkraut a year or two ago. It mostly went well but unfortunately most of it went bad after we opened it and didn’t eat a gallon of sauerkraut. 
 

My family does not like kimchi. But if I made it I bet I could have it!

[oromendur]

Wait, what? The challenge is over?

 

Poop.

 

I thought I had time to do a regain after everything went off the rails. I guess not (sigh)

 

It's not really much to look at but here's my [WEEKS FOUR AND FIVE UPDATE] anyway. Spoiler for length:

 

Spoiler

 

Week Four actually started pretty well. I had three perfect days in a row mid-week, and although the heat made me procrastinate on some of the weekly requirements, it sure looked like I was on track to do all the things on Sunday and pull it out for an A again. But then the weekend happened.

 

On Friday I joined by Boston friend for our semi-regular Zoom call. She was struggling with a sad situation in her life, so I sat with her and let her vent and cry and gave her what energy I had. Then, since she knows I suck at Facebook right now, she also made me aware of something ELSE awful that had happened with one of our mutual friends. Once I learned what happened I felt like I needed to reach out to her too (her partner of 30 years suddenly ended their relationship with a text message), and that turned into another exhausting effort of providing non-judgmental love and support. Then on Saturday I got a text from ANOTHER friend. She wanted me to come to a BBQ at her place on Saturday night (second friend was invited too, and I'm pretty sure third friend decided to bend the quarantine rules at this point specifically to support second friend). Of course I said yes. (Actually what I said is "Oh my goodness YES that would be wonderful I've been in solitary confinement since mid-July" but I guess that's a little dramatic.)

 

A word about pandemic sensibilities because six months of COVID-induced gathering-shaming makes me feel like I need to justify myself here: there were only six of us there in total. Three of us work from home and never see anyone, and the other three work in places where their temperature is checked several times each day. We spent most of our time outside. We're all of us low-risk. I suppose it didn't conform strictly to pandemic guidelines (there was ZERO chance of me not hugging my friends, and I'm sure the hot tub time wasn't exactly a public health triumph) but pretty much everyone who would scold me on social media shares their life with someone and doesn't have to go six or eight weeks at a time with zero human contact. So, yeah. It's fine. I'm pretty sure I neither caught nor spread the plague.

 

Anyway. It was a wonderful night. We all talked and laughed and ate grilled sausages and sat in the jacuzzi in the sultry evening and had a bonfire and made s'mores and loved on our friend. I ended up crashing in their guest room because whisky. I don't regret it at all -- but it did make an absolute awful mess of my daily routines, and meant that all the weeklies I normally cram into a Sunday just didn't happen, leaving me with a pretty dismal 68% for the week.

 

I thought I'd managed the regain for Week Five -- I was ticking along fairly well with the dailies, and even did my half-hearted jog through the canyons on Monday to make up for my PAI being in the toilet on Sunday -- but then my friends decided to do it all again over Labor Day weekend and the sweet, sweet taste of friend time and human contact after so many months in solitary made it impossible to say no. It was the same sort of thing, except with Pilipino takeout instead of a barbecue (chicken adobo and pancit and lumpia YUM) and the addition of playing games and singing songs around the fire. It was pure heaven, honestly.

 

But it got hot. Stupid hot. You-gotta-be-freaking-kidding-me hot. Hotter than it's ever been since I moved here more than twenty years ago. I can absolutely guarantee that when they built my house (probably late seventies or early eighties, it's not like it's a hundred-year-old building or anything) that they never expected sustained temps over 111ºF/44ºC, and the place is basically unlivable in those conditions. My friends have an overengineered solar PV array to run their brand-new super-cold air conditioning system...yeah. Out of morbid curiosity I used the internet on Saturday to keep track of all my thermohygrometers and watched the numbers climb into ridiculousness and decided to stay at my friends on Saturday night and all day Sunday. I came *this close* to staying Sunday night too, but I have a deadline for a conference presentation and didn't have everything I needed to work on it and the forecast said it would be cooler so I was good and came home.

 

But with everything falling apart two weekends in a row, Week Five ended the challenge at a failing 57%

 

 

Still, overall, the challenge wasn't a total failure. Here's the spreadsheet screenshot with my final grades over the past six weeks, including Week Zero when I didn't really focus on doing anything:

 

 

This tells me nothing I don't already know, of course. I can be relied upon to make my bed and floss/brush/wash my face every single day without any difficulty (I gave myself credit for making up the guest bedroom at my friend's place both times). My morning routines are pretty rock-solid, and even after completely blowing them off two Sundays in a row I still ended up with an overall A grade there. The evening routine is also solid, with the glaring exception of that annoying 'get to bed by 11' thing that I am going to have to grudgingly admit is probably good for me after all (having ignored it for a few days now and suffered the consequences, if I don't do it I either don't get enough sleep or I wake up so late that I lose the best working hours in the day). It's also clear that I normally do my Pimsleur language lessons while zone cleaning and vacuuming, though, because all three of those were abject failures this time around. The Pimsleur score would be MUCH higher if those weren't linked, honestly; I quite like the language study, but even spending fifteen minutes picking up one thing or running the vacuum over one floor is just too [BLEEP]ing hard most days 

 

As I've mentioned before, I do think that having the challenge going has been a positive thing for me. I'll definitely put something up for the next one, but it might take me a few days, and it's going to have to go in phases because I have a big plague-protocol adventure coming up and I'm excited! More to follow in my next challenge thread, stay tuned  

  

 

[oromendur]

On 8/30/2020 at 6:48 PM, Mudd said:

Looking forward to the week 4 update!

 

Well, it's a few weeks late I guess, but there ya go   Thanks for checking in!

 

On 8/24/2020 at 2:48 PM, juliebarkley said:

No one can ever expect more of yourself than that. These are rough times, and I'm glad that having a challenge going is helping give direction to your days and successes in your life.

 

On 8/24/2020 at 4:33 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

be kind to yourself. No one is at their best these day. Alexa is built for yelling at. I also like to talk to her like a person. “How was your day?”  It’s not failure,  it’s just part of being human. Congrats on not being a terminator. You may pass to the next checkpoint. 💚

 

On 8/25/2020 at 12:40 AM, Ann of Vries said:

Echoing others—these are tough times. Give yourself a bit of slack. And keep kicking that challenges ass and checking in once in a while so Mother Hen doesn’t worry

 

Thank you all. I appreciate your support. It's so hard to maintain a sense of perspective in these crazy times.

 

On 8/24/2020 at 4:33 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

You know, ice cream has a lot of calcium. Calcium is food for your bones. AND it has protein. Protein is good for your muscles.

 

Do you know what goes great with ice cream? Frozen sourdough brownies. Just sayin' 

 

On 8/24/2020 at 4:33 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

My friend, a wizard checks in when she damn well feels like it, or when the plot needs to move forward in a new direction. 

 

This made me laugh so hard  I thought of this: DM of the Rings

 

I usually find myself drawing on Rangers, Elves, and hobbits for mythic inspiration, and don't often think of myself as a wizard, but you all are beginning to convince me that pretending I'm one of the Maiar might not be as far out of reach as I would have thought 

[oromendur]

Oh, yes, I forgot: I'm pleased to report that my kimchi is DELICIOUS   Orders of magnitude better than the store-bought stuff, funky and complex and tingly without being too stinky. (It's possible I'm doing it wrong; it certainly made my living room smell like fish farts for a day or so, but once I decided the primary fermentation was done and it went into the fridge in its sealed mason jars, it's been olfactorily very well-behaved.)  I do think I'll use a bit less gochugaru next time though. It's not too spicy on an absolute scale (admittedly said scale has been somewhat, ah, skewed by all my recent experiments with Sichuan cuisine), but it's a little more excitement than my basic white girl tongue wants out of an everyday condiment. I do generally want something more flavorful out of my pickled veggies than plain old sauerkraut, but this went just a bit too far in the other direction.

 

On 8/25/2020 at 12:40 AM, Ann of Vries said:

Also, jealous on the kimchi. It’s ridiculously priced out here, too. Mr has promised me a dedicated kimchi fridge at the new place so I can make it. (He understands it is the food of my people, but he can’t stand how it makes everything in the fridge smell like kimchi.)

 

Aw, that's too bad. Could you try canning jars or something super airtight to make it less stinky? If not, add that to the list of reasons I'm rooting for your move to happen sooner rather than later!

 

On 9/1/2020 at 6:08 AM, Sciread77 said:

I’m also jealous of the kimchi. It is typically only available at the expensive grocery stores. I should try to make some. I did make some sauerkraut a year or two ago. It mostly went well but unfortunately most of it went bad after we opened it and didn’t eat a gallon of sauerkraut. 
 

My family does not like kimchi. But if I made it I bet I could have it!

 

You should totally make some! After inflating it into such a big huge deal in my mind, it turned out to be relatively easy to do. I started with this not-really-a-recipe, Googled around for more actionable proportions, and then just sort of winged it. I made changes with abandon, as though I had any idea what I was doing  As an example, my favorite part of the store-bought kimchi was the square bits of crisp radish, so instead of matchsticking the daikon and blending it into the sauce like the not-recipe said, I cut it into thin square wafers and mixed it in with the cabbage. It's awesome how even non-authentic kimchi is infinitely customizable to individual tastes.

[Snarkyfishguts]

4 hours ago, oromendur said:

This made me laugh so hard  I thought of this: DM of the Rings

 

I usually find myself drawing on Rangers, Elves, and hobbits for mythic inspiration, and don't often think of myself as a wizard, but you all are beginning to convince me that pretending I'm one of the Maiar might not be as far out of reach as I would have thought 

You know, you can be more than one thing. I won't tell anyone else.

 

 

4 hours ago, oromendur said:

Do you know what goes great with ice cream? Frozen sourdough brownies. Just sayin' 

WHAT? SOURDOUGH BROWNIES? Truly you ARE a wizard! Do you have the spell (recipe) for such a wonder?

[Sciread77]

On 9/8/2020 at 9:07 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

WHAT? SOURDOUGH BROWNIES? Truly you ARE a wizard! Do you have the spell (recipe) for such a wonder?

Clearly gained when leveling up after defeating the Balrog and coming back as Oromendur the White. 

[oromendur]

On 9/8/2020 at 7:07 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

WHAT? SOURDOUGH BROWNIES? Truly you ARE a wizard! Do you have the spell (recipe) for such a wonder?

 

Sure, here you go  

Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen!

Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!

 

13 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

Clearly gained when leveling up after defeating the Balrog and coming back as Oromendur the White.

 

My friend, you give me far too much credit. That Balrog is seriously kicking my ass right now!