Red1263: The Trail of Orthos, Part 1

[Red1263]

On 8/20/2020 at 9:48 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Enjoy your date weekend!!!

Thank you!

 

On 8/21/2020 at 6:25 AM, Manarelle said:

 

!!!! Enjoy!

 

 

When we were in high school, there was a guy who was CLEARLY infatuated with my older sister. Did the same hobbies, same group of friends, he was always hanging out with and around her, but they never dated. I asked her (much later) why that was, and she said "If he never had the courage to ask me out, then we would not have been a good couple." 

 

That said, nine years ago I visited a guy who I'd been talking with and he was obviously head-over-heels and oblivious to the fact that it was obvious. I asked him out because in one of our talks, he mentioned not wanting to pressure someone else into making a decision, which I felt was a fair attitude. I still sometimes have to nudge him to ask questions he thinks might be invasive, but since we got married a couple months ago, I'd say it turned out well. Good to have standards, but there are occasional exceptions. Pardon my ramble. 

Thank you and thank you for your story!

 

On 8/21/2020 at 7:22 AM, Aθena said:

 

Could you explain how this is an exception? 😊 Your husband does not sound like the type of guy that "wasted/s your time" or is a weakling at all! 

 

People who ask invasive questions or have a super direct "I am going to get her to be my girlfriend" attitude are not bad per se but I have had some experiences/heard stories of such people still being the type that I would call "people wasting my time"

 

My current partner asked me out on a friend/acquienfence level date but I was the one that made into a date-date. Once he got the green light he did not play games, did not waste my time. (Nor did I haha)

 

On the flip side, there was one guy who asked me out & even after I had a discussion with him about whether we are on the same page, still kept playing games. (By that I mean, pushing and pulling and trying to blame me for being unable to emotionally pace myself until I lawyered him - Exhibit A, B, ... Z - into admitting I was not doing any such thing.) Some people enjoy that type of tango but I don't. Especially then I really overanalysed err'thing that was not people just being frank & direct with me, hurtful or not. Did not and do not have time for that 😅

 

PS - Oh dear, there are so many awesome people on here! 😭 Thanks for sharing that story!

That sounds great Athena! except for the guy who kept playing games.

 

On 8/21/2020 at 11:27 AM, Manarelle said:

 

Oh definitely not, but I'd adopted the "if he won't ask, I won't date him" standard, we'd both have missed out! And some of the questions he has thought were invasive in the past were things like "would you mind if i came with you to x thing?" when I'm oblivious and didn't even think to ask. We've found a balance between my antisocialism and his leaving people alone over the years. 

 

 

Oh HECK no. I had an ex who basically required 3 conversations for every topic - one to discuss the topic, one to discuss what I really meant in my discussion, and the third to discuss how I was wrong about my perception of how I'd discussed it originally. Ain't nobody got time for that nonsense. If you can't trust what someone says the first time, leave. 

I'm glad that you didn't stay with that ex who sounds like a huge jerk!

 

*   *   *

OK So I apologize for not being around. Life has been very interesting recently!

 

1. Requirements: So far, I'm looking into research topics and how to do it on my Residency. But I'm also keeping track of the patients I've seen, and BOY, have I seen some things! But I've always been a "Trial by fire" kinda guy and I had to really think on my feet during some of these patient encounters (kinda like pokemon encounters except, without the poke balls) 
2. Exercises:  I'm not only back on the challenge, but we have increased the number of reps from 25 to 30!
   1. Sun: 
   2. M: XX
   3. T: XX
   4. W: XX
   5. Th: 
   6. F: 
   7. Sat: 
   8.  
   9. Total: 6 /14 
3. Sunflower: The weekend was a blast! We both had a lot of fun! And now, we're official. I'm excited, nervous, happy and nervous at the same time... Did I mention that I was nervous?
4. Location: I'm just imagining all of the fun activities I can do while living in my own place! I'm definitely adding stretching and handstands to my future challenges. Also I am going to need to make some kind of routine of when and what to clean, and shopping, and whatever random stuff I'm going to need while I'm on my own. So any and all advice is appreciated. 

[Elastigirl]

Awesome update. Woot for increasing the reps. Cleaning schedule advice: I like Flylady's advice of doing something for 15 minutes.She has it all divided into categories, and I don't often do it that way, but I find that just setting the timer for 15 minutes, and picking an area and cleaning it , I get a lot done. If I think I don't have time to "really" clean it and wait until I can perfection clean it doesn't get done. 

[Renate]

Awesome update indeed! About everything. Sounds like you are getting a crash course of relevent work experience, so cool. (Congrats to the both of you!)

[Manarelle]

19 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Sunflower: The weekend was a blast! We both had a lot of fun! And now, we're official. I'm excited, nervous, happy and nervous at the same time... Did I mention that I was nervous?

 

Iiiiiiiiiii dunno.... she liked YOU enough to stick around and try dating you... and then she liked YOU enough to make it official.... nothing left to be nervous about - just keep being the awesome you that makes a great partner.  Congrats, dude. 

[Red1263]

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Awesome update. Woot for increasing the reps. Cleaning schedule advice: I like Flylady's advice of doing something for 15 minutes.She has it all divided into categories, and I don't often do it that way, but I find that just setting the timer for 15 minutes, and picking an area and cleaning it , I get a lot done. If I think I don't have time to "really" clean it and wait until I can perfection clean it doesn't get done. 

Thanks, EG! And I like that advice! That would definitely appease my "This looks like a mountain of chores! I don't wanna do it!" procrastinating side of being an adult. I think if I spread it out to an area a day for 15 minutes, I'll definitely be able to keep up with a clean apartment.

 

17 hours ago, Aθena said:

Awesome update indeed! About everything. Sounds like you are getting a crash course of relevent work experience, so cool. (Congrats to the both of you!)

Thanks! And I'm definitely getting a crash course on my job, but luckily I've been told I'm a quick-study! 😉

 

5 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

Iiiiiiiiiii dunno.... she liked YOU enough to stick around and try dating you... and then she liked YOU enough to make it official.... nothing left to be nervous about - just keep being the awesome you that makes a great partner.  Congrats, dude. 

Ha ha ha, She even liked me enough to stick around when I screw up too  Thank you for the advice, it sounds SOOO simple, but then my overthinking brain is like, "What if she doesn't like you anymore NOW! She said she liked you 5 mins ago, but that was 5 WHOLE MINUTES AGO, she could definitely change her mind and you'll be left ALL ALONE, etc etc." I have to learn to be calmer about these things

 

*   *   *

 

1. Requirements: So I spoke to one of the most famous clinicians my company ever had (think of the guy in the movie Dolphin's Tale), and he gave me some sound advice! There might be a chance I could be a part of a larger research project already in the works! My nerd senses are tingling!
2. Exercises:  I need to do one more set for today, and then I'll be caught up.
   1. Sun: 
   2. M: XX
   3. T: XX
   4. W: XX
   5. Th: X
   6. F: 
   7. Sat: 
   8.  
   9. Total: 7 /14 
3. Sunflower: I'm learning how to navigate emotions within a relationship, however emotions was never really my strongest suit. I am going to have to learn to be brutally honest with myself with this part.
4. Location: I recall saving a couple of posts on Reddit about how to clean, how often and a couple of tips on moving out on your own. I want to approach this with as much info as I can get! Despite the fact that I'll still be probably learning things on the fly  

[DarK_RaideR]

On 8/27/2020 at 4:45 AM, Red1263 said:

And now, we're official.

Did you go to a notary or make some sort of public proclamation?

[fitnessgurl]

On 8/29/2020 at 3:54 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

Did you go to a notary or make some sort of public proclamation?

🎺🎺🎺🎶Hear ye! Hear ye! Red & Sunflower are now official!😉😄😁

[Red1263]

On 8/29/2020 at 12:54 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

Did you go to a notary or make some sort of public proclamation?

Hmm... Does carving our initials in a tree count?

 

On 8/30/2020 at 4:51 PM, fitnessgurl said:

🎺🎺🎺🎶Hear ye! Hear ye! Red & Sunflower are now official!😉😄😁

Now that's what I'm talking about! Thank you!

 

*   *   *

1. Requirements: So far, I will be having a Zoom meeting on the 8th pertaining to the roles in the study. I'm very excited. Also I have been keeping up with recording my patients (the ones that don't cancel on me, anyways ).
2. Exercises:  Man, sometimes it's hard to keep up! But I will report that we bumped the max number of reps up to 75. Which means that you'll see 3 sets for each day.
   1. Sun: 
   2. M: X
   3. T: XXX
   4. W: 
   5. Th: 
   6. F: 
   7. Sat: 
   8.  
   9. Total: 4 / 21 
3. Sunflower: I'm going to spend Labor Day weekend with her, also in Tangent News, this is the very first job that I've ever had where I have labor day off!
4. Location: I need to setting up good habits on some days so that they can carry over into living by myself, so far, I'm attempting to start to read more, I'm strangely taking more naps on some days (naps normally freak me out!), and I'm trying to drink more and more water.

[WhiteGhost]

1 hour ago, Red1263 said:

I'm strangely taking more naps on some days

I find that naps happen a lot more when I am home alone because there is less stimulation from conversations or whatnot going on around me.

[Manarelle]

7 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Sunflower: I'm going to spend Labor Day weekend with her, also in Tangent News, this is the very first job that I've ever had where I have labor day off!

 

1) Man, having actual holidays off feels like "hey I'm a grownup now!" Nice to have the same time off as a lot of other people. 

2) Yay for spending time together! And we're heading into holiday season, so you'll have MORE time off to spend together! How convenient!

[Elastigirl]

Yay for weekends off and you get to spend it with Sunflower

[Red1263]

On 9/1/2020 at 11:50 PM, WhiteGhost said:

I find that naps happen a lot more when I am home alone because there is less stimulation from conversations or whatnot going on around me.

That could be it. But now I'm going to live by myself, so I hope to find stimulation from other things, I'd rather not take naps during the day.

 

On 9/2/2020 at 5:29 AM, Manarelle said:

 

1) Man, having actual holidays off feels like "hey I'm a grownup now!" Nice to have the same time off as a lot of other people. 

2) Yay for spending time together! And we're heading into holiday season, so you'll have MORE time off to spend together! How convenient!

1) I does! And it feels so weird!

2) Ha ha ha, I better stay on top of things before I miss a chance to do so!

 

On 9/2/2020 at 9:04 AM, Elastigirl said:

Yay for weekends off and you get to spend it with Sunflower

Thanks, EG!

 

*    *   *

1. Requirements: Still staying on track with this!.
2. Exercises:  
   1. Sun: 
   2. M: X
   3. T: XXX
   4. W: XXX
   5. Th: XX
   6. F: 
   7. Sat: 
   8.  
   9. Total: 9 / 21 
3. Sunflower: Tomorrow 🥰
4. Location: OK now that we're in Sept, it's only a couple of weeks before I'm going to move out and on my own! I'm going to look for boxes to pack my stuff in, as well as plan when and how to move, also I'm going to start testing/looking at more furniture places.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Been lurking and awesome sauce to get through the goals!

[fitnessgurl]

Happy Labor Day!!!