A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step...or something like that.

[Stickman_11]

I am not very good with putting my thoughts onto paper (or screen).  

 

Currently: I am dealing with two major problems... 1.) About 15 years of inactivity built up with very little done to combat it.  and 2.) Absolutely ZERO motivation to actually do anything about it.  

As far as the first problem, I realize that the past is the past and I can only look forward.  But it seems overwhelming from where I stand.  Which is at the start line.  Which brings me to my second problem.  I see the trail, I have the map, I even have the tools.  But I can't seem to step over the start line and begin the journey.  

 

Previously: I was a 4 sport high school athlete and a college volleyball player.  I rock climbed and mountain biked for my hobbies.  I spent about 10 hours a week in the weight room and another 10 in practice.  I was 185lbs with 7% bodyfat.

 

Back to Currently: I still have the brain of an athlete but the body of an overstuffed armchair.  This causes me to overdo workouts to the point of injury and then become disheartened and sedentary while I wait for my injury to heal.  I am just getting off an avulsion fracture of my left ankle and can finally put weight on it without limping, but cannot run on it.  Over the past 15 years I have slowly expanded to 300+lbs and at least 36% bodyfat (I haven't had the courage to check either metric in the past few months...).

 

I don't know what I am trying to accomplish here.  I am just tired of being fat and hurt all the time.  I don't want to go to a personal trainer and hear all the cliches and motivational speeches.  So I figured maybe I would turn to my fellow nerds and see if there's a better approach.  

 

Again, sorry for the ramble.  Just getting stuff off my chest.  I was sitting at lunch today (I teach in a boys home) and one of the students made a comment under his breath about how "I figured Mr J wouldn't pass up an opportunity for some more food. So much for getting skinny."  I don't know why I let myself be affected so much by a 14 year old, but I did.  So here I am.  Hi.

[Little_Fox42]

Welcome to NF!

 

58 minutes ago, Stickman_11 said:

I still have the brain of an athlete but the body of an overstuffed armchair.  This causes me to overdo workouts to the point of injury and then become disheartened and sedentary while I wait for my injury to heal.

 

I feel your pain. I'm no expert, far from it, but I think you have to find a way to "give yourself permission" to take baby steps. There's absolutely no shame in it. I started running about a month and a half ago and hurt my ankle. I'm chomping at the bit to run again, and I want to lose weight, be more fit/flexible/blah blah blah, but I know doing it too fast is gonna hurt me and it'll be even longer before I can run. It's the same with anything. If you try to make too many changes at once, it's gonna backfire.

 

Maybe find a way to do small things that won't affect your ankle? Upper body workouts, cardio that can be done while seated, aqua-aerobics if you have access to a pool... And start slow with the walking. Walk around your house for a few minutes, then upgrade to a 5 minute walk in your neighborhood; just increase it a little at a time and listen to your body. Again, not an expert, but even moving slowly you'll be doing laps around anyone who's sitting on the couch.

 

I read a study about why there are mirrors in gyms and how it affects performance. I wonder if you worked out in front of a mirror and pretended that the person in the mirror is someone you're helping/teaching if that would help with your mindset. (I don't know what you teach or even if that would be applicable, but it might be worth a try.) Tell the person in the mirror not to overdo it, encourage him like you would a student, and things like that. I dunno, just a random thought.

 

54 minutes ago, Stickman_11 said:

I was sitting at lunch today (I teach in a boys home) and one of the students made a comment under his breath about how "I figured Mr J wouldn't pass up an opportunity for some more food. So much for getting skinny."  I don't know why I let myself be affected so much by a 14 year old, but I did.

 

I'm sorry he said something so rude. People can be cruel sometimes, kids and adults. Heck, we can be cruel to ourselves. I don't have anyone in my life telling me that I can't do the things on my fitness bucket list, but there's a voice in my head that says I'll never get there, I have too far to go, I'll just give up like I always do, etc. I started treating that voice like the annoying kid on an online game voice chat and responding with things like, "Isn't it past your bedtime?" or "Oh yeah? Watch me!" (Doesn't mean the voice doesn't get to me, I just chose to make it sound annoying rather than convincing.) I'm not gonna get into a political discussion, but I read about someone else who does something similar except with a politician's voice.

 

Anyway, you'll find lots of support here on NF. Hope some of my ramblings help you.

[pixie_dust]

Have you considered swimming? Or riding a bike? It could help you to have a few other exercise options up your sleeve that wont make your injury worse but keep you moving. Slow and steady wins the race - it all adds up. You'll do loads better walking for 20minutes every day for 2 weeks that exercising full out for 1 hours once a week. We're building life long habits that will keep you in shape for the rest of your life. You've got this! 

 

Kids can be real jerks. But you know what? They fear change. They know you as you are and they fear that you making changes - even good, healthy changes - will change their lives by association. They're too young to know how it feels to be spoken about like that - boy's brains don't fully develop until they are 21 so you have to take what they say with a grain of salt. They wont be winning any emotional intelligence awards. There will always be doubters, there to kick you when you're feeling low. Sometimes its friends and family telling you not to go after that goal - they don't want you to hurt or struggle. That's why you have to smile, thank them for caring and carry on with your plans anyway. Their opinion is really none of your business, what you want and what you believe is all that matters. No one will want this more than you and you have to be the one to keep going. 

 

Looks like I ranted on a little there too. Don't give up, you have it in you to crush this and you are worth the effort it will take to get there. 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Welcome to NF Stickman!