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1 hour ago, annyshay said:

Compassion - kind to myself when my boss commented on my weight

 

What the f...? Weight comments are not appropriate work conversation, but even if they were, that's just rude

 

Also seconding the offer to sharpen pitch forks.

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1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Do we need to sharpen pitchforks and light torches on your behalf?

 

44 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

What the f...? Weight comments are not appropriate work conversation, but even if they were, that's just rude

 

Also seconding the offer to sharpen pitch forks.

Maybe?

 

I like my boss, but she has an unfortunate habit of dropping little hints here and there about how I could lose weight or eat healthier or suchness. It's annoying at baseline.

 

This time she prefaced by saying that she had something awkward to ask me. I should have cut her off there, but morbid curiosity and surprise. She asked if I had different undergarments (she meant bras apparently) because some days I looked 20 pounds lighter. 

 

I was flabbergasted and said that I was wearing a sports bra because my usual one was leaving red spots and huge divets in my shoulders. 

 

I dunno if that's pitchfork worthy, but it definitely is an unwelcome comment on my body. 

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Think of it this way: If your boss was a man, and was a few years older than you were, would it be okay for him to ask if you're wearing a different bra today, because you look different in that area?

 

Obviously not, and that means it is not okay for a woman to say it either.

 

You have every right to tell your boss to stop making these comments, and if your human resources department tells you that you are over-reacting, that's a sign you need to find another job. I personally would not be comfortable working with a person who thinks it's fine to tell me they are paying close attention to my bust, as if that's a normal thing to do or say in the work place.

 

Yikes.

 

We'll be right there with the pitch forks!

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2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Think of it this way: If your boss was a man, and was a few years older than you were, would it be okay for him to ask if you're wearing a different bra today, because you look different in that area?

 

Obviously not, and that means it is not okay for a woman to say it either.

 

You have every right to tell your boss to stop making these comments, and if your human resources department tells you that you are over-reacting, that's a sign you need to find another job. I personally would not be comfortable working with a person who thinks it's fine to tell me they are paying close attention to my bust, as if that's a normal thing to do or say in the work place.

 

Yikes.

 

We'll be right there with the pitch forks!

Exactly where I was gonna go with this. What your boss said was not ok. 

 

https://reddit.com/r/pitchforkemporium

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Saturday w0d7

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: leftover pizza

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - celebrated some small wins like getting my work done quickly

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - nap, journaling, Stardew, ran my new robovac

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36 minutes ago, annyshay said:

Sigh.

 

I'm so sick of setting and reinforcing boundaries. 

 

Why can't people just be decent?

 

Because disappointingly often, people just suck.

 

Speaking from personal experience, the firmer you are when you set your boundaries, the easier it will be for you to maintain them, and you will find that you don't have to reinforce them as often because the boundary is respected.

 

Note that "firm" does not mean you have to be mean or rude. I once watched a co-worker shut up an entire room by very politely explaining to the person who commented that she "looks so thin today, did you lose weight?", that having a past with a severe eating disorder means any comment on her weight, even a compliment, puts her a a genuine risk of triggering a relapse. Because of this, she asked the person to please help her remain healthy, by refraining from comments of that nature.

 

It was one of the kindest way I have ever seen someone make another person feel like total shit about themselves, and it was worth it because my co-worker never had someone comment on her weight again. :) 

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I would prefer a way to set the boundary without having to out myself, honestly, but I doubt that people will take anything I say seriously because of their internalized fatphobia. It's particularly bad in medicine, so my co-workers legitimately think that they're "helping" me to be "healthier". 

 

I'll talk it over with Amy.

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41 minutes ago, annyshay said:

I would prefer a way to set the boundary without having to out myself, honestly, but I doubt that people will take anything I say seriously because of their internalized fatphobia.

 

Obviously. I told my co-worker after that meeting, that I was impressed she was willing to share something so personal and complimented her on her courage.

 

I do not recommend anyone out themself as a boundary setting tactic unless they are 100% sure its safe for them to do it, and even then, it is obviously entire up to everyone to make that decision for them self, for their own reasons.

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Sunday w1d1

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: Stardew Valley

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - tried to be fully present with my anger at my boss

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - journaling, Stardew, robovac, cleaned the cat litter

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I would like nothing more than to see comments about someone's weight, no matter what the intention, be removed from conversations. If someone brings up a question about themselves, fair game, but no one, absolutely no one, get to comment about someone else's physical stature. 

I hope you have a great week ahead. There are new shenanagans to be had!
 

ST.gif

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2 hours ago, Jittersthe.Clown said:

I would like nothing more than to see comments about someone's weight, no matter what the intention, be removed from conversations. If someone brings up a question about themselves, fair game, but no one, absolutely no one, get to comment about someone else's physical stature. 

 

Hear, hear. 

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Monday w1d2

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: chat with my childhood pastor

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - journaling, chats with friends

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Tuesday w1d3

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: no lectures on my weight at my physical

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - journaling, chats with friends

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Wednesday w1d5

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: Stardew valley gaming night

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Thursday w1d5

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: breathwork

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - breathwork and journaling

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Friday w1d6

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: board games online with international friends

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - breathwork and journaling

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Saturday w1d7

 

Mindset Pack 

- meditation: 5 minutes of breath meditation

- joy journaling: desire mapping

- intention mantra: what might feel good?

 

Compassion - yup

 

Drop into Body - did this in the evening

 

Bonus - breathwork and journaling, online church service

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Hello nerds. I've been keeping up with the goals that I have and basically doing all of them every day.

 

Things at work are pretty overwhelming at the moment, and I've had lots of other appointments in the evenings, so I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with posting as much as I want to. 

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