• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Heidi

Heidi: Press Release

Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, Heidi said:

Thanks!

I wish I could invite you over for tea and scones! But let's zoom when I (laughing, no really, laughing) have time. Let's make time, since I'll never be genetically available again. 🙂

Thank you, Dear Leader.

🙂

I’m so down for this :) 

  • That's Metal 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

O wow.

I am so very very tired.

I have fallen behind a little bit in everything between the move and the job expanding -- doubling? -- this past fortnight.

More soon.

Nap now.

❣️

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Heidi said:

O wow.

I am so very very tired.

I have fallen behind a little bit in everything between the move and the job expanding -- doubling? -- this past fortnight.

More soon.

Nap now.

❣️

 I hope you rest well and that the pay has expanded in a commensurate manner to the expansion of the job itself.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
49 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

and that the pay has expanded

Hahahaha.

It is to laugh.

I say job, but really, it's volunteering.

Philosophy doesn't have a history of actually paying people, you know that, right?

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Heidi said:

Philosophy doesn't have a history of actually paying people, you know that, right?

 

This explains a lot about philosophers.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Heidi said:

Philosophy doesn't have a history of actually paying people, you know that, right?

I have heard that Bruce Lee said he got a degree in philosophy so he could think cool thoughts about being unemployed.

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
38 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I have heard that Bruce Lee said he got a degree in philosophy so he could think cool thoughts about being unemployed.

 

Bruce Lee's degree in philosophy helped him develop his outlooks on  training and martial arts, leading to the legacy he l… | Bruce lee quotes, Bruce  lee, Rare quote

  • Thanks 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The scope of work is nothing compared to the people. Navigating the personalities takes more hours and is harder than any of the editing work. I think I've found my foorting and established a workable boundary at the same time. This Friday and Saturday were quite the scene.

 

I'm almost done digging out. The tsunami which threatened to drown me has receded to high- wader stage. Academically as well as editing work, I'm making my way through.

 

The next two weeks is a whirlwind of medical and legal appointments, culminating in court next Friday. Everything is moving forward by baby steps, and that's some good news, friends.

 

I went on an electronics fast starting Thursday afternoon. I only meant to go for 24 hours, but it's been brilliant, and I have no idea when I'll go back. I visited a friend in person, socially distanced in her front yard among the flowers. I felt like a person.

 

I'm reading a book for class that's so good I'm taking a gajillion notes, and it's slowing me down for now, but man it's worth it. Becoming Dad, by Pitts. Also, I'm supposed to be reading Book 3 of The Republic. Yep, might get to that sometime this week.

 

I finished one Knitting project (a lace scarf for a friend) and began another ( a blanket for Vivian). The roof leaks in three places and I called the management company, who sent someone today to look at it. He smelled of beer, so I'm guessing he's a good roofer.

 

Vivian's dad is a meanie head.

There are seven days in a week.

 

❣️

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm almost caught up on all the many pieces of my life. The apartment is coming together, slowly, but in ways I like. It doesn't feel like my home, but it feels . . .decent. I haven't made bread yet, because there seems no point -- in NC, I never saw anyone or went anywhere, bug I had a rotation of meaningful people that I gave the second load to: Aaron, John, Kathi, Claudia.

 

The hostile email has ramped up and I'm handling it, but it's demoralizing. Ever heard of DARVO? It's an abuse tactic (deny, accuse, reverse victim and oppressor.) Every. Single. Time. And if I ignore the emails, since her dad copies everyone in the case, then my lack of response is taken as agreement. Agreement that he knows more about the conversations I have when he's not even there than I do. Exhausting. 

 

I went to a check up today and found out that I likely chipped my kneecap and aggravated the rotator cuff of my shoulder when I fell a couple weeks ago. Nothing to do but hot baths and more PT. 

 

I started T'ai Chi last night (weekly class). In my copious free time. Because if you don't have time to meditate for 30 minutes, then you should meditate for an hour.

 

And we're back to beheaded animals on the front step. Tonight it was a rabbit. Again.
I mean, I'm sure it *could* be a neighborhood cat that is very good at leaving the carcass pristine. I wonder how long until the spate of punctured tires starts up again. At least I had the locks changed on the Jeep, so I won't have to worry that it will be stolen on court day only to return a couple weeks later, cash and chargers and everything intact EXCEPT for the CDs. Again.

 

Pray for me, because I really want to run away.

Again.

  • Confused 1
  • Angry on your Behalf 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
57 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

What darkfoxx said.

 

Yep.

 

Along with a firm conviction that you can do this. Whether it feels like it or not, you can. We know you're a badass, and we're happy to believe in that for you, when you don't have the energy for it. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

6 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

So many hugs to you and a good dose of fuck-you energy for the jackass outside. 

tenor.gif

tenor.gif

 

 

Thank you, friend. When you're stateside, or maybe by Zoom, we can have a full-blown rant about this together, complete with high fives and hell yeahs. Until then, it's good to know you're in my corner.

3 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

What darkfoxx said.

What Heidi said. 🙂

 

The hardest part is that it's a campaign to make me feel unloved (working), isolated (kinda working), and afraid (nope, just bored with it nao, kthnxbai). Also, I know very well that if I filed a report or even posted it on my blog, it would be hauled up in court as "proof" that I'm crazy (almost worth it so I can ask for a psych evaluation for *Everyone*). Goodness, but people have a lot of time on their hands to dedicate to their craziness! It's sad of course, and makes me want to leave. But we all know I'm here for one reason only and this doesn't change that.

 

So.

 

More baths.

More meditation.

More T'ai Chi.

Perhaps I will turn the second bedroom into a meditation room.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Yep.

 

Along with a firm conviction that you can do this. Whether it feels like it or not, you can. We know you're a badass, and we're happy to believe in that for you, when you don't have the energy for it. 

Thank you.

This is a superpower you guys are sending me, and I love you for it.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe you. Every word of what you say is happening I fully believe is happening the way you say it. You probably aren't getting much of that, and I want to give it to you from a very sincere place in my heart.

2 hours ago, Heidi said:

The hardest part is that it's a campaign to make me feel unloved (working)

I love you, and I know I'm not alone. How can you be unlovable if people (because I know damn good and well I'm not alone in this) who have never met you physically love you unconditionally? Just because the strife is more physically present and grabbing more of your attention doesn't mean it's stronger, though your feelings are perfectly valid. I know you know it, but I'm gonna be explicit anyway. You are not unloved, but feeling that way as a result of the hate and evil being literally left at your doorstep is perfectly valid and a normal response to the crap you are going through.

2 hours ago, Heidi said:

isolated (kinda working),

Physically maybe, but we are with you in spirit, which I know isn't the same thing as having someone there. I offer this thought in the spirit of something is better than nothing. Posting on your blog would be unwise, filing a report might be worth it, but it's not for me to decide. Given your past experience with local authority, you are probably correct reports would be more trouble than they are worth.

2 hours ago, Heidi said:

This is a superpower you guys are sending me, and I love you for it.

We are not sending it to you, we are reminding it was in you all along. These encouragements allow you to access strength you didn't know you had, as well as lending ours for when you are tired. We are not meant to face this world alone. I don't mean introversion vs extroversion stuff, I mean we are designed/built/evolved (Take your pick of any or all) to need one another for strength.

 

Regarding the emails, if silence implies consent, would it be possible to get a copypasta along the lines of "Per my last email, I do not agree with the assertions stated in the previous message for reasons already stated?"

 

 

"The universe loves Heidi and wants her to be happy"

Be sure to get strength from there too.

 

There must be desperation involved to ramp up the campaign. You are living rent-free in someone's head and some part of them must be scared of losing power, that's always what leads to an escalation. Your perseverance will win the day. This is not dependent on your strength, for there is more strength than your own at play here. This is dependent on your willingness to let the universe and others lend strength to you.

 

Would it be helpful if we set up something so you could video conference with at least one NF person per day for a while?

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Baths are god's own manifestation of heaven and healing

IMG_20200922_194142_020.jpg

The knitting projects: A scarf for Brenda, and the beginning of Vivian's blanket

IMG_20201004_162919.jpg

 

IMG_20201004_162642_535.jpg

 

I spent this morning editing and developing a new special series on accessibility and habilitation. This is very important work for me, spiritually, and feels good, even though it's adding a whole new stream of work. As if to cement that this is the right path, I received an email informing me I will hold the Becker Fellowship for 2021.

 

The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy.

❤️ 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Heidi said:

This is a superpower you guys are sending me, and I love you for it.

 

Nah. To paraphrase Tony Stark, if you need us to send it to you, you never had it in the first place. And we know you do have this in you, so clearly we have nothing to do with its existence. We're here because we're the other Avengers, and we believe we can help by reminding you what you're capable of. Avengers Rebels, assemble. Or something.

 

Let there be cheese and mushy statements. :) 

 

You're not alone. Geography has nothing to do with this.

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
39 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I believe you. Every word of what you say is happening I fully believe is happening the way you say it.

Oh, @Tanktimus the Encourager. You know that just undid me. Thank you, friend.

 

40 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I know you know it, but I'm gonna be explicit anyway.

Thank you, all of you. Yes, I know it well enough that I come here and post, knowing that i have My Community and yes, i need to hear it explicitly when I'm hurting. *big hug to you and Sra. Tank. 

 

42 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Regarding the emails, if silence implies consent, would it be possible to get a copypasta along the lines of "Per my last email, I do not agree with the assertions stated in the previous message for reasons already stated?"

So tempting, and ordinarily this would be excellent advice. I have to tread a bit more mindfully though, as I'm trying to Wage Peace. So my reply was: I was looking for X, but if you're only comfortable with Y, then I'm fine with that." Maintain my stance politely (non-threateningly, non-argumentatively) while finding agreement and centering in it.

 

44 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

"The universe loves Heidi and wants her to be happy"

Be sure to get strength from there too.

Amen, brother; pass the plate. :)

 

45 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

There must be desperation involved to ramp up the campaign. You are living rent-free in someone's head and some part of them must be scared of losing power, that's always what leads to an escalation. Your perseverance will win the day. This is not dependent on your strength, for there is more strength than your own at play here. This is dependent on your willingness to let the universe and others lend strength to you.

 You're not wrong! This happens (not the animals --that had mostly stopped in 2017, but the contentiousness) in the fortnight before court, getting strong and more compressed as we get closer to the date. I don't know why (and frankly I don't care), but I have been doing this long enough now to know the patterns that have emerged. It's difficult for me, yes, but it seems as though it is a very management-heavy hobby for the haters.

 

48 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Would it be helpful if we set up something so you could video conference with at least one NF person per day for a while?

Maybe, yes. Wow. What a lovely idea. I have noon (Eastern) every day blocked off as a rest period. If you Gentle Folks want to join me for a bit until court next week, I would like the company.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Nah. To paraphrase Tony Stark, if you need us to send it to you, you never had it in the first place. And we know you do have this in you, so clearly we have nothing to do with its existence. We're here because we're the other Avengers, and we believe we can help by reminding you what you're capable of. Avengers Rebels, assemble. Or something.

 

Let there be cheese and mushy statements. :) 

 

You're not alone. Geography has nothing to do with this.

Y'all.

You guys are Just The Best.

❤️ 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Posting on your blog would be unwise, filing a report might be worth it, but it's not for me to decide.

The best response I can give is to pretend I never noticed.

Their only strength is in me being an audience-mirror, receiving their message and responding in a particular way.

I have made a journey of ignoring their hatred out of existence, and it might sound whackadoodle, but it works (as long as I have a community to be honest with in the moment; visibility is everything). 

I have no enemies.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Heidi said:

I have made a journey of ignoring their hatred out of existence, and it might sound whackadoodle, but it works (as long as I have a community to be honest with in the moment; visibility is everything). 

 

Doesn't sound whackadoodle at all. There's a large number of cultures on this planet who believe that naming an evil, speaking of it, or in other ways acknowledge its existence, gives that evil power. My personal opinion is that a belief that is so common and that has endured for so many centuries, might well have hit upon a grain of truth. Perhaps That-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named can be ignored out of existence?

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day -- unless you're too busy; 

then you should sit for an hour.

 

My Editing day was interrupted all morning long by argumentative email. The whole thing is ridiculous, frankly, and intrusive and irritating. Editing life continues to be exciting. I have three special series in development as of this week, and five seven new books for the spotlight series I'm taking on. I've caught my breath with the classwork, I think; I'm about one full rotation behind in response papers to The Republic, but small steps matter. I should be on track to finish it by the end of the term. 

 

When I closed up editing shop, I wasn't sure what to do with myself yet, and ended up cleaning just-one-thing that turned into a deep clean of the bathroom, the kitchen and a load of laundry. There are worse ways to recenter, and now I'm thinking of turning the second bedroom into a meditation room instead of a library. Not that they are mutually exclusive, of course, but one feeds and energizes the mind, while the other still and holds it in repose. My intuition is telling me that I'm going to need a lot in the way of stillness as the year draws to a close. Think tea-house minimal. There will be pictures. For now it is enough that I have cleared out the space and cleaned. The altar is currently a crate with an old board on top, a piece that broke off a table during the furniture move a couple weeks ago. Tomorrow will be three weeks since I moved in and I'm not certain this will ever be my Home, but it's becoming my space, and that's not a small thing. I was able to meditate while I arranged and picked up and cleared out -- a little meditation goes a long way. I have no idea where my sitting cushion is, but I found a couple old pillow cases and might get a few pounds of buckwheat to fill one up.

 

Writing workshop is amazing, and my next installment is due in three weeks. Wow. I'm so glad I have this in my world again. It runs past my bedtime, which leaves Fridays as a bit of a slow day anyway, and it's nice to have my Philosophy Planning group on Friday afternoon as a way to close out the week.

 

Stay safe, friends, and stay well.

Be gentle with yourselves, and remember that you are loved.

The Universe loves us and wants us to be happy.

HLSchmidt500x500-BW.jpg

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.