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Tateman - Setting myself up for success


Tateman

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Oh, @Tateman, that is rough. I have been a longtime carer to my sister who also has troubles with mental health.

 

Look after yourself, matey. It's worth reaching out to a mental health charity to see if there's any help for you, as a carer.

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What's the best time to plant a tree?

20 years ago.

What's the second best time to plant a tree?

Now.

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On 9/17/2020 at 2:27 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That stinks you keep having to explain about your brother. If it bothers the person so much, that person can be the one to drive your brother to the hospital. Sounds harsh, but it's passing the buck for that person not to take responsibility and dump on you. Said person wanted to feel like they were helping without actually doing anything. You did the right thing keeping that boundary.

Yup, agreed. I am glad they care, but they obviously didn't know everything that has been going on.

 

22 hours ago, Countess D'If said:

I'm sorry about your brother. The worst part about having a mentally ill family member is remembering how to stay sane yourself and not let them drag you down with them. It sounds rough, but if they don't want help, you can't force them to want help. You have sympathies and I wish you the best of luck.

 

But on the plus side, it looks like you are keeping yourself on track and it's the little victories that count.

I certainly am trying. I am having my down moments, but just keep telling myself the same thing. I will not let this derail me. I will not let this bring me down. So far it's working enough. I still have things pop up in my head, because you know brains can be assholes haha.

 

21 hours ago, RES said:

You are so right, you can't make them...whatever demons they are fighting are theirs to fight. 

Great job on your goals!

 

Thanks! Yeah, it's often this way with many things. The person just has to decide for themselves. 

 

12 hours ago, cd667 said:

Oh, @Tateman, that is rough. I have been a longtime carer to my sister who also has troubles with mental health.

 

Look after yourself, matey. It's worth reaching out to a mental health charity to see if there's any help for you, as a carer.

Thanks! I am trying to. I have been thinking that I probably should look into therapy or something for myself even before all this haha. 

 

Another morning I wake up, another message from someone on facebook. This time from a lady I know. She's not really family to be, but has been married to two of my uncles (they are dead now). So she knows us kinda haha. Anyway, had to break down quite a bit of stuff. At least enough I wanted to.

 

My brother definitely is a manipulative person. I was discussing with my sister about how the way all his facebook shit it posted, you would thing we completely abandoned him to the wolves. So I am sure his "friends" would all thing we are just a bunch of assholes.

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Week 1 day 5 recap (plus today at the end)

 

Sleep:

opMQJVE.jpg

Fitbit scores this a 87. 12:19 AM to 7:58 AM. So, I did not read last night, and I didn't quite get off the computer. The thing was, my oldest kid was out talking to me. Sure I could have been like "Time for me to read sucker, take a hike!". I didn't though ;)  So, a bit of bonding time with the kid. We watched a couple of old home videos and such. So while not in line with my goals, this time it's OK since it was spending some time with the kid . :)  I ended up having trouble sleeping. Not so much because of hanging out with my kid, but mroe my brain wanted me to think about all the old family shit brought up for all this garbage with my brother.

 

So zero points for this.

 

Food:

NBpSAqK.jpg

Lower on the calories again, but not all intended that way. I did try some experimenting last night, but I was part way though making the desert, when I was some key ingredients were bad haha. I ended up modifying and made a someone decent version, but it would have been better (and higher calories) if I had everything. Still I would have been lower. I'm not concerned. I wasn't hungry. I'd be much more worried if I was over by a lot. 

 

Exercise:

Rest day completed! :) 

 

Chores:

Both done in the morning. Honestly, this has been the key for me to maintain this. I am sure it will be much harder for me to do if I waited till later in the day.

 

So good day overall. No points for reading/sleeping, but that is alright. Struggled a bit mentally, just thinking about my brothers shit.

 

This morning was a little rough. I was tired from lack of sleep, plus the new facebook message had me dreading a replay to that too. I got dressed, but it took me like an hour to convince myself to just get things rolling. I just kept reminding myself of the tasks I has. Get up, clean the cat boxes, hit the dishes, and then come back in the room to start working out. Something that has helped out, is that I have kept up with these chores. This means no one chore gives me that overwhelming feeling. Like if I didn't do the dishes for days, I probably wouldn't be able to convince myself to get it going today.

 

So I did just like I was repeating to myself. My workout today took a bit longer to finish. #1 I already don't care much for some of the exercises, but I know I needed to do them anyway. #2 quite a few pauses when my brain would activate think of all the shit going on.

 

3 x 10 Assisted Lunges (5 per leg) (don't like these so much)

3 x 5 Inch works (really don't like these)

3 x 10 wall slide (much harder then you think) I had to do these laying down because of my arm.

I attempted to do the side planks, but just could not on the hard floor.

 

The wall slides I could not get my right arm to get close to the wall. So I laid flat on the ground to do these. This way I could get a gravity help to get my arm back. It hurt so much. My arm was probably 5 to 6 inches from being flat to the ground. Left arm was fine. I pushed as best I could on these. I hope that I can eventually get my arm back to where it was before. I figure it's good to get my arm to stretch like that as best I can anyway, even with it hurting. Just not hurting too badly. The exercise is basically this: 

 

So not a super perfect workout, but I did it. Even with the mental roadblocks popping up. Afterwords I told myself it might not be the greatest, it will get better as I do it more often. Also, even doing what I did was better then sitting there doing nothing. 

 

Rest of the day I just have to focus on food, and hopefully getting to sleep on time. :)

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On 9/18/2020 at 7:00 PM, Tateman said:

Afterwords I told myself it might not be the greatest, it will get better as I do it more often. Also, even doing what I did was better then sitting there doing nothing

Exactly the right attitude

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for...

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I'm sorry that people think that you must sort out your brother's stuff :(. I'm glad that you're still going strong with your challenge though, and that it helps in not feeling too overwhelmed with the chores. 

 

Those wall slides can be brutal indeed, especially if your pecs are tight and your upper back is untrained. Can you put towels on the floor to make it somewhat softer? Be careful for sliding though!

 

Anyway, good job on working out anyway, and it really does get easier over time. You're also in the process of losing weight, so it will get doubly easier over time if you keep it up ;).

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whoa whoa whoa, what's with this not posting updates for a couple of days! :) Posting here now to make sure I don't make it another day I don't post something. 

 

On 9/19/2020 at 4:44 PM, RES said:

Exactly the right attitude

That's what I think :) 

 

On 9/20/2020 at 12:40 AM, Waanie said:

I'm sorry that people think that you must sort out your brother's stuff :(. I'm glad that you're still going strong with your challenge though, and that it helps in not feeling too overwhelmed with the chores. 

 

Those wall slides can be brutal indeed, especially if your pecs are tight and your upper back is untrained. Can you put towels on the floor to make it somewhat softer? Be careful for sliding though!

 

Anyway, good job on working out anyway, and it really does get easier over time. You're also in the process of losing weight, so it will get doubly easier over time if you keep it up ;).

Yeah I did grab a towel for my arms, but not the knees. I don't know why, but my knees are especially tender/sensitive to like any pressure. I am actually going to try grabbing a yoga mat or something soon too. I need to get one for my kid too. They were doing some yoga poses for the online PE class :)

 

We went to do some shopping on Saturday. So by proxy, I got to test my foot out a bit. Overall things seemed fine. Even climbing the stairs to bring groceries in. Then I went and got the mail, and my foot started hurting on the way back. Seemed about 3500 steps in. Of course, not all just walking 3500 either. So I guess this coming week will also mean no long walking.  I am thinking that maybe I will just do a daily walk around the apartment complex. I think one loop would give me 800 steps. I don't recall. But a lap or two should be fine to do, and it would get me outside for a walk.

 

 

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Week 1 summary:

 

Goal 1 - Sleep and Rest

Off to read at 10:30 PM, Then off to bed at 11:30 PM. 

09/13 - 11:55 PM to 7:58 AM off the pc, and reading done.

09/14 - 11:45 PM to 9:16 AM off the pc, and reading done.

09/15 - 11:49 PM to 7:58 AM off the pc, and reading done.

09/16 - 11:43 PM to 8:10 AM off the pc, and reading done.

09/17 - 12:19 AM to 7:58 AM Not off the pc, and no reading done

09/18 - 12:06 AM to 8:00 AM off the pc, and reading done

09/19 - 12:00 AM to 8:31 AM off the pc, and reading done

 

With the whole brother issue, I have had trouble getting to sleep. It would seem that fitbit has tracked the last few days late, even though I have been getting to bed at roughly the same times as before. I did have one day that I stayed up, but it was talking with my oldest and such. I'm not too concerned with that. :)

 

60/70 points

 

Goal 2 - Let's have one solid challenge of eating well

2100-2400 Calorie range. Under 20 net carbs.

09/13 - 1940 Calories, 18.7 g net carbs

09/14 - 1368 Calories, 15.3 g net carbs

09/15 - 2011 Calories, 4 g net carbs

09/16 - 1527 Calories, 17.5 g net carbs

09/17 - 1777 Calories, 12.4 g net carbs

09/18 - 2094 Calories, 14.4 g net carbs

09/19 - 2387 Calories, 12 g net carbs

 

Overall, good week with food. Started to top out on Saturday. (went over on Sunday :( ) 

 

35/35 points

 

Goal 3 - The slow roll to exercise

Week 1 - Walk 64 days, minimum 6,000 steps. (one day rest between walk days) 3 workouts done

 

09/14 - one round "benchmark" workout

10 squats (unassisted) 

5 per leg lunges (assisted)

5 wall pushups

10 Elevated/counter pushups.

 

09/16 - 3 rounds of each

10 Squats

10 Elevated pushups (against the counter)

10 Bent over dumbbell rows (each arm) used 15 lbs to make sure my form and right arm are fine

One minute farmers walk with 15 lbs in each hand.

 

09/18 - 3 rounds of each

10 Assisted Lunges (5 per leg) (don't like these so much)

5 Inch works (really don't like these)

10 wall slide (much harder then you think) I had to do these laying down because of my arm.

I attempted to do the side planks, but just could not on the hard floor

 

15/15 points

 

Goal 4 - Chores, oh the chores

Daily chores, plus deep clean

 

All chores done each day. Sticking to the routine of doing it all before I do anything else in the morning. The problem I had this week, was the deep clean. So I wanted to attacks some things on Saturday, but we went to get groceries. Obviously, ain't things happening after that haha. Then Sunday, it is Pokemon Go community day. I had thought that we could tackle some of it at least in our room before things get started. It got closer and closer, but wife and I haven't started. Finally, we both get up. At this point I don't have time to get into anything really. Wife says she is just going to clean the mirror and counter. So I go off to do my thing. Later on wife comes out mad that I didn't help do things, because we both were going to be cleaning things. I thought she said she was just doing the counter and mirror. I guess she did a bit more (still lots to do) So now I feel like a super asshole all day.  I think I will hit up some of the cleaning in pieces this week, then we can finish it off this weekend.

 

So chores done, just nothing on the big clean list by me.

 

35/45 points

 

Total points for the week: 145/165 - 87%

 

Good week 1. A couple of misses, but nothing major. I think I am seeing, and feeling better with getting my sleep dialed in much better (not counting the issues with my brother).  Getting the chores done in the morning feels like it gives me that win for each day, even if it is super easy. It's only super easy, because it's getting done each day haha. I'm trying not to focus on weight, and just continue with the process. The last weight has been pretty leveled out this week. Though I am not actively looking. I'll see how things look by the end of the challenge ;) 

 

Hopefully, I can keep progressing this next week. 

 

 

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OK, Week 1 summary done, so not I can get back to dailies ;)

 

I adjusted my walking goal based off the walking I did on Saturday. I was just going to say to a lap or two around here at the apartment complex, but instead I will just say walk for 5 minutes at least. I was also going to just do like 3 walks this week, but I am going to try 6 days. (which means I need to walk today) 

 

Walk 6 times for at least 5 minutes. 3 workouts done.  This is the goal for the week.

 

Yesterday Week 2 Day 1:

 

Sleep:

kgFXOWA.jpg

Fitbit scored this as an 88, and tracked 12:08 AM to 7:59 AM. I did get to bed a little later, but was in before 12. The cat jumped on our AC, and changed a setting. So I did get up to correct it. I assume it must have been around this time :) I did get off the PC in time for reading. I read like a few minutes longer, then had to hit up the bathroom. I'm past teh 80% mark done on my book, and completing The Culture Novels. I'll have to see whatever to read pretty soon.

 

Food:

Koc9CRR.jpg

Oh yikes. Above my upper limit of calorie goal. I ended up eating some higher calorie things earlier in the day. When I went to eat around 1 PM, I saw I pretty much filled up my calories on the day. Now, I totally could have just not ate and been fine. I wasn't super hungry. Around the time I normally eat a bit though, I felt slightly hunger. Plus my brain was already constantly repeating the fact that I was already at goal. Constantly thinking of food will eventually get to you haha. I had a bit more food around 7-8 pm. Now that did trigger the thoughts of "Go eat more, you already messed up your goal!" I did not eat anymore though.

 

Chores:

My basic chores done. No work on the big clean.

 

As far as today goes, chores done. I need to get out for a 5 minute walk. I also have not done my workout yet. I wanted to get it this morning, but didn't. I set an alarm for myself tonight to get it done. I could totally pass it off for tomorrow, but I want to get it today. Wife is on a lot of work calls today, so I don't want to try making exercise a thing this moment. Not that I would be super loud or anything. I just feel like I need to be super quite.

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Week 2 day 2:

 

Sleep:

xsUhrus.jpg

Fitbit score last night an 89. Tracked 11:46 PM to 8:03 AM. I did get off my computer, and was reading on time. I am close to the end of my book. I wanted to keep going, but decided I needed to stop. Of course, it was hot, and I had trouble getting/staying asleep for awhile.

 

Food:

Er63cHl.jpg

Another close one on the top of my Calorie goal. I decided to not have cheese for my burgers last night, because I saw I was all too close. haha. 

 

Exercise:

I didn't get things done in the morning. Though, I did get the exercise in! I also meant to get out and walk for 5 minutes. Since it was late, I combined it in with my workout. 

3 rounds

10 squats

10 Elevated Push ups (against the counter)

10 one arm dumbbell rows. (15lbs, 10 reps each arm)

1 minute farmer's walk with 15lbs in each hand.

 

I stayed walking during the sets, then also walk around the apartment for 3 extra minutes after I was done. Not idea, but I got it done.

 

Chores:

Cat boxes, and dishes done. No further work on the big clean list.

 

100% day 

 

Since I didn't get the walk in till late last night, I wanted to make sure that didn't happen today. This morning I got up and finished off the chores. Then I went out to walk. Looks like 540-550 steps per lap around the apartment complex. I got in close to 2 1/2 laps before the foot was getting sore. We'll see if at least I can maintain this the next few days, or if it might improve. 

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On 9/21/2020 at 8:36 PM, Tateman said:

I had thought that we could tackle some of it at least in our room before things get started. It got closer and closer, but wife and I haven't started. Finally, we both get up. At this point I don't have time to get into anything really. Wife says she is just going to clean the mirror and counter. So I go off to do my thing. Later on wife comes out mad that I didn't help do things, because we both were going to be cleaning things. I thought she said she was just doing the counter and mirror. I guess she did a bit more (still lots to do) So now I feel like a super asshole all day.  I think I will hit up some of the cleaning in pieces this week, then we can finish it off this weekend.

I must say that I majorly agree with your wife here, and that I would also be pissed in her situation. You would clean together, and then you disappear. As a result, the house is not clean because you dropped the ball. Is this the first time that it happened? If not, when did you do what you said you would do? Who usually takes the initiative in starting the chores? Who plans the chores? I don't know your current situation in the household management, but you should probably start thinking about what's possible for you to do here. You need to show that you're reliable. There's two articles on this topic that I'd like you to think about: You should've asked and  She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink. Again, I don't know your day-to-day life, but from this comment and some others it seems that you put a higher burden on your wife than you might think, on top of her being the breadwinner in your household. 

 

On a lighter note, good job on the first 1.5 week of your challenge :).

 

ETA: Reading back, I might be too harsh here, I'm sorry for that. I would still advise you to read the articles link, and think about what you'd like your role in the household to be. What most stood out to me btw is that you didn't do your thing after you were back and your wife came back. Our society is really gendered unfortunately, so please don't take any of this personally, just think about how you'd want to go forward and PLEASE discuss this with your wife and possibly your sons as well.

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https://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/
 

Great great article. Really explained things well. Don’t know if this applies to your situation, Tateman, but definitely read the article. Explains a lot about relationships in a marriage. We might still be married if my ex had understood it.Then again, maybe not, there was a lot wrong with that marriage. :) 

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On 9/18/2020 at 6:22 PM, Tateman said:

I will not let this derail me.

 

Good to hear that.  I'm basically going to echo what others have said here, but people have to *want* to change.  It sucks when you see people you care about not pulling themselves up but all you can really do is be the best person you can be, lead by example, and if they come to you for help; find a fair way to give it (not too much to be enabling, not to little if they are genuinely trying).

 

On 9/18/2020 at 7:00 PM, Tateman said:

The wall slides I could not get my right arm to get close to the wall. So I laid flat on the ground to do these. This way I could get a gravity help to get my arm back. It hurt so much. My arm was probably 5 to 6 inches from being flat to the ground. Left arm was fine.

 

I have the same problem.  I lean against the wall and I have shit mobility or something because my hands do not want to press all the way back.  I've gone to laying on the floor sometimes and doing the action.

 

---

So I read that article I saw this, "She wanted me to figure out all of the things that need done, and devise my own method of task management."  From my perspective, I would need to know clearly what needs to be done (Is this a designated 'me' thing or a designated 'you' thing or is this an 'alternating' thing?).  If dishes are something that seriously bothers a partner, that should be expressed.  I've been given a ton of sass, only for women to apologize after the fact, for realizing that I'm not a mind reader.  Agreed on this part, "What we are not good at is being psychic".  I kept reading and saw, "She should recognize how petty and meaningless it is in the grand scheme of life, he thinks, and he keeps waiting for her to agree with him.  She will never agree with him, because it’s not about the glass for her. The glass situation could be ANY situation in which she feels unappreciated and disrespected by her husband."  and all I'm wondering is: lack of communication.  And also what is/isn't being done on the reverse side?

 

This part was the crux, "If he KNEW that—if he fully understood this secret she has never explained to him"

 

 

Ya, it takes two to tango.  I think if a partner sat down with me and explained it as "these are things in the household to keep the environment cleaned up and that is important to me - important enough that it feels like you don't respect *our* living space by neglecting it with *examples*", I think that the majority of guys would be more open and receptive to it.  Unless someone is in a spiteful and hate-filled marriage, trying to communicate that importance means a huge deal.

 

I sort of am looking at this through the lens of the 5 love languages.  This seems to fall under, "Acts of Service".  Throw out the garbage because it's obviously full, start dinner before the partner gets home, throw the clothes in the hamper, etc, I think all fall under this category.  But if that serious sit-down conversation never happens, then you get the above "this secret she has never explained" and with it, a whole host of headaches and needless aggravation from both sides.

 

I think for a lot of guys, the love language/frustration equivalent is intimacy.  I know for me, my primary love language is "Physical Touch" so I need snuggles and bedroom action and my thought process is much the same way on the flipside:  feeling close to someone is important to me - important enough that it feels like I don't matter and I'm not respected and I'm being neglected if I don't get routine intimacy.  Hell, even the above quote when flipped, "should recognize how petty and meaningless it is in the grand scheme of life"  - I'm sure plenty of women might think the same thing about getting off.  After all- putting a glass in the dishwasher takes just a couple of seconds, right?  And after a few minutes of humping, isn't getting off just a couple of seconds?  However, that time for me is HUGE in its implications, much how a glass is HUGE in its implications.

 

I mean, I see this shitty lack of communication dynamic with my sister and her husband and it's down-right TOXIC.  I feel they are both too insecure and miserable to leave after being together for like 25+ years.  You don't text someone while at work and say, "are you just fucking stupid?" with regards to putting clothes in a hamper.  That's just asking for trouble.  So I can understand this from both perspectives and it seems like there needs to be a dileniation of responsibilities and more open communication to express not only *what* is being done, but *why* it's important.

 

God, I'm so happy living alone.  I'm responsible for everything and it means I have zero drama.

 

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I certainly understood why she was upset. As how are household things done. No one does anything until they need too haha. Really though, Wife does do the laundry every couple of weeks. I seem to have inherited do all the things with pets thing. So that was taking the dog out for a walk too when we had one. I don't think my wife has touched the cat box since before youngest was born. If an animal gets sick on the floor or something, her idea is to put paper towel over it. Then it sits there forever, unless I clean it up. In our last place we had no dishwasher. It was basically things stacked up until someone needed to clean. Other things we kind of divide up really. I take out the trash mostly, but she does sometimes too. There never was a clean all the things, unless we had to. I actually feel similar in those article too. Like when people leave trash on the counter or whatever surface they are preparing things, when the trash can is two steps away. There are other little things like that too. Part of this challenge was to get me doing these things each day, so it is no longer a huge process to deal with. Since I have started getting dishes done each day, sometimes she cleans them too.

 

Currently, she is the one with a job. I am Mr. Mom as it were. I am the Lunch lady, most days around lunchtime for her, the kids, and them myself too. For dinner we split it, mostly. Though I don't eat the same food they do most times. Usually every time I make myself stuff, then make whatever for them. We usually communicate things well enough, so we hardly ever fight or really get mad at each other over things. Life's too short for that shit haha. We were going to do much more, and I even had said "You want to move the bed" Cause we were going to move it around, and clean under, plus go though stuff in the closets etc. She said that she just wanted to clean off the two things. I honestly didn't think she was going to vacuum around the bit she did. 

 

 

All that said, I've had a couple of bad days mentally. Today is the day my best friend died, 8 years ago. I knew his for like 13 or 14 years. I don't feel like that is the reason I am in "I give no fucks" mode, but I can't rule it out 100% either.

 

I have gotten most things done. The only thing suffering right now is exercise. I did not walk or do my workout yesterday. Today, I did walk a little. Have not done any other exercise though. I've been giving my brain suggestions to just do anything. If I do a couple of squats, it's better then nothing. Will see how the day goes. If I am going to do something, it will probably be before reading and bed :) 

 

 

 

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I'm sorry that you've been having a hard time lately. 

 

There's been a lot of good communication regarding relationships. It sounds like you guys each have your quirks when it comes to cleaning but for the most part you communicate well. I was wondering if there was something else she was bothered about. Personally I try to say what I mean... It just keeps life simpler. 

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{Chase the wind and touch the sky; I will fly}

 

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@Rookie Thanks for sending me the message. It was enough for me to knock out 10 squats. Then another 2 sets of 10 while I was making food. 

 

Mental feeling is still in that blah feeling, but I feel ok with I get little distractions in. This was a perfect little distraction. :)

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19 hours ago, Teros said:

God, I'm so happy living alone.  I'm responsible for everything and it means I have zero drama.

 

Well, when you have figured out the communication thing it's nice that you can compensate for each other's weaknesses. I do more of the small irregular but plannable stuff (like most errands), while my bf takes care of the sporadic huge things and more of the small daily things. We found what worked for us, and we're now both fairly happy about the cleanliness/effort ratio. It did take multiple iterations and a ton of communication though, like you said ;).

 

@Tateman, these articles indeed go both ways. If you're doing the management, then that also takes time and energy, and it's okay if that's not going perfectly the first/second/third/... time. I'm glad that you've started breaking the cycle with this challenge, and keeping a clean house (within reason) generally takes less energy than the cycle of dirty/cleaning all the stuff. The dishes and litterbox are a great start as well, and I'm glad it's going well so far :). And yes, if you're doing the majority of the cleaning, then people leaving stuff that would take a few seconds to throw away is annoying. It's up to you to communicate to the others though, although you should first find for yourself why you have a problem with it. It could make the task of cleaning the dishes/kitchen more daunting, making it less likely you'll do it, it could be that this way it's harder to feel proud of yourself for cleaning it, or something else entirely. Like in the article, if they don't know the reason, they're unlikely to change. Even if they do know, they will still do it wrong often, especially at the beginning, but then it's easier to correct them.

 

Anyway, I think the dishes and litterboxes are a nice first step! 

 

14 hours ago, Tateman said:

Mental feeling is still in that blah feeling, but I feel ok with I get little distractions in. This was a perfect little distraction. :)

Feel better soon!

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Week 2 Summary:

 

Goal 1 - Sleep and Rest

Off to read at 10:30 PM, Then off to bed at 11:30 PM. 

 

09/20 - 12:08 AM to 7:59 AM

09/21 - 11:46 PM to 8:03 AM

09/22 - 12:12 AM to 7:31 AM

09/23 - 1:22 AM to 7:56 AM

09/24 - 11:54 PM to 7:58 AM

09/25 - 11:44 PM to 8:23 AM

09/26 - 11:59 PM to 9:51 AM

 

Reading was done each night, and I also did get off the computer in time. The Fitbit numbers for tracking are weird. One night I did have to get up and and separate my cats, because the youngest one was going after the old lady pretty hard. It was kind of going on for a bit until I just had enough, and just grabbed the young cat and closed him up in our room. So maybe that was the 1:22 am night. 

I have struggled to get to sleep a bit this week. My brother, the anniversary of my friends death, and it started warming up again too. This morning it is nice and smoky because of fires everywhere. I'm hearing of lots of people having to evacuate, and a winery being burnt down. No threat to where I am at, just more smoke.

 

Reading wise, I did finish the Culture Novels. Pretty good series for sci-fi type stuff. Not all the books were great, but I still enjoyed them. Not sure what exactly to start up next. For now, I've been reading the Forward collection https://www.amazon.com/Forward-collection/dp/B07Z7DQC8V. Basically, 6 short stories from 6 different authors. I'll be done with them in a couple of days.

 

70/70 points

 

Goal 2 - Let's have one solid challenge of eating well

2100-2400 Calorie range. Under 20 net carbs. 

 

09/20 - 2642 Calories, 12.6 g net carbs

09/21 - 2347 Calories, 12.6 g net carbs

09/22 - 2124 Calories, 15.6 g net carbs

09/23 - 1695 Calories, 7.7 g net carbs

09/24 - 1827 Calories, 17.2 g net carbs

09/25 - 2225 Calories, 14.6 g net carbs

09/26 - 3038 Calories, 10.8 g net carbs

 

All days under net carbs, but 2 days over calories.  

 

30/35 points

 

Goal 3 - The slow roll to exercise

Walk 6 times for at least 5 minutes. 3 workouts done. 

 

One full workout was done. I also walked around for a bit too. I didn't get to doing a second full workout, but I did get in 3 x 10 of squats. I also did no other real walking. Partially, because I just couldn't be bothered mentally to do squat. The other reason is my wife is getting a procedure done on her neck soon. She had to take a covid test, then she has to stay quarantined inside until the day of the procedure. (test came back today, no covid as expected) With her having to stay inside until her procedure on the 1st, we probably all need to stay in as well. I know we have to take out the trash, and on the 30th, I have to run to my kids school for some kind of supplies. I've been thinking of something to do instead, or just stick with 5 minutes of walking around in the apartment. We shall see.

 

15/45 points

 

Goal 4 - Chores, oh the chores

Mostly successful here. Only the big clean isn't happening really. I have thought of trying to break down our room into smaller chunks to help tackle it this week. We just didn't get things done this weekend.

 

35/45 points

 

Total points:  150/195 - 76%

 

Yeah, that feels about right. Still, some progress had been made. Weight has been stuck for a couple of weeks. This week I need to make more movement a higher priority I think. 

 

I am feeling better mentally. I didn't think my friends death anniversary would have affected me as it did. 2020 for you though. I felt better and better the couple of days after that, just not enough to post here I suppose. Nothing going to stop me this week. At least, that is the plan ;)

 

 

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Ok, Week summary done. Time for Yesterday's recap.

 

Week 3 Day 1:

 

Sleep:

gKpAgsh.jpg

Fitbit tracked 11:53 PM to 8:20 AM with a score of 86. I was up at 8, just not moving around a lot I guess haha. Had some back pain while sleeping last night. I was up a few times trying to move around, but back pain for sure this morning.

 

Food:

qcYjzWl.jpg

In range of calories, and net carbs. 

 

Exercise:

Since I am not going out walking, I attempted to just make myself get up and move. Since I did that yesterday, I'll shoot for that today too. Intentionally get up to do anything. Walk to my room, whatever. My main thing is to just actually not sit here all day.

 

Chores:

It had been really nice not having so much to do with the chores. Some days is unload the dishwasher, or completely clean out the cat boxes. Most the time it just put a few dishes in the dishwasher, or clean a couple of things. It's been great. Now, I need to get the big clean part done. I might just try to tackle a small bit so it isn't so overwhelming

 

This morning I was going to get a workout done, but the back was saying no for now. It's hard to say I'll try tonight, but I think I shall be. I feel that I want to do it at least, even the ones I don't like. 

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18 hours ago, Tateman said:

Reading wise, I did finish the Culture Novels. Pretty good series for sci-fi type stuff. Not all the books were great, but I still enjoyed them. Not sure what exactly to start up next. For now, I've been reading the Forward collection https://www.amazon.com/Forward-collection/dp/B07Z7DQC8V. Basically, 6 short stories from 6 different authors. I'll be done with them in a couple of days.

Having to find new series to enjoy is the worst! I'm a bit picky with my books nowadays, so every time I finish a series I'm a bit sad ;). I'm sure you'll find something new though.

 

Good job on week 2, and the start of week 3! I hope your back will feel better soon!

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8 hours ago, Waanie said:

Having to find new series to enjoy is the worst! I'm a bit picky with my books nowadays, so every time I finish a series I'm a bit sad ;). I'm sure you'll find something new though.

 

Good job on week 2, and the start of week 3! I hope your back will feel better soon!

100% agree!  I think I am going to read The Lord of the Rings books I have. I never did read them, so I guess might as well now haha.

 

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Good day so far today :)

 

I did take awhile to get out of bed, but I did eventually get up. I got the cat boxes, dishes done, and cats fed. Then It was off to get the workout in. It's the one I don't like, but I know it will be very beneficial for me to get use to these exercises. Plus I added in a couple more. 

 

3 rounds:

10 (5 each leg) Assisted lunges.

5 inch worms (yup, still hate these)

10 arm swing bowling drill Basically this Only difference was I wasn't doing the one step part yet. Just started in the finish position. 10 swings, and my left leg was shaking haha.

20 seconds hollow hold on the ground

10 Wall slides against the wall. 

20 second plank

 

It's hours later, and I am still feeling spent haha. I tracked on my fitbit, and it looks like my top heart rate was at 160. 

 

It was about lunch time for kid, so I made him some nuggets. I tossed in a couple of chicken breasts in the air fryer. I ran off to shower while they were cooking. 

 

Great morning, I feel plenty accomplished. My only downer this morning was that I see some weight gain. Seems like I just can't seem break this plateau. It will happen. I'm not too worried. My initial though is that I should drop calories even more.  I really just don't want to wreck my metabolism. I figure it might be a sign I just am not moving enough, and maybe getting a bit of too many calories. We shall see. Again, not letting this be the in all be all to how my fitness journey will be. :)

 

I also decided that shall do a little something to just get myself to move more. I took my white board into my bedroom. At least 5 times a day, I need to get up, and go make a mark. This doesn't count times I get up to make food or go to the bathroom or any of that stuff. This won't get me any massive amount of steps, but it will get me to get up for a quick walk from time to time. 

 

Week 3 Day 2:

 

Sleep:

qZgrv6w.jpg

Fitbit tracked 11:48 PM to 7:59 AM. Scored a 91. It was a bit warm, it felt like it took myself some time to get to sleep. With that said, I did feel like I got a really good sleep. Mostly. One time waking up too hot, then towards the end my back was feeling a bit hurt again. 

 

Food:

HzMJoHP.jpg

Hit my calorie range, and under net carbs.

 

Exercise:

No workout done. I did get up 3 times from my desk, just to get up. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do for this week still, since walking was out.

 

Chores:

Knocked the out. Still thinking I need to tackle a portion of the Big clean list.  Might happen Friday, because I have other things to be doing this week.

 

Tomorrow morning, I have to go get school supplies at my son's school. Then Thursday, my wife has her procedure to get done. No idea how long it will last, but I have to be the driver. Covid rules mean no going in with her, so I get to be in the car forever haha. I should bring a couple of dumbbells and do my workouts haha.

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Woah, your workout is so much heavier on your core than the rest! Make sure you have good form so that you won't hurt your back ;).

 

9 hours ago, Tateman said:

I also decided that shall do a little something to just get myself to move more. I took my white board into my bedroom. At least 5 times a day, I need to get up, and go make a mark. This doesn't count times I get up to make food or go to the bathroom or any of that stuff. This won't get me any massive amount of steps, but it will get me to get up for a quick walk from time to time. 

This is a good idea :). When I'm working at home, I often make a pot of tea, which counts for going downstairs at least twice per pot. Your marks idea does have less side-effects caffeine-wise though ;). When you feel the marks become too easy, you can even sneak in a wall-push up or squat that way.

 

9 hours ago, Tateman said:

Tomorrow morning, I have to go get school supplies at my son's school. Then Thursday, my wife has her procedure to get done. No idea how long it will last, but I have to be the driver. Covid rules mean no going in with her, so I get to be in the car forever haha. I should bring a couple of dumbbells and do my workouts haha.

Or... a book! It would be very cool if you can do your workout though :).

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11 hours ago, Waanie said:

Woah, your workout is so much heavier on your core than the rest! Make sure you have good form so that you won't hurt your back ;).

Yup, I was doing my best too. The lunges I was assisted by the counter, though I tried my best to not use it. Same with my bowling swing. I did all the exercise in my room/bathroom area. The wall was close that my left arm could touch the counter. Though again, not to hold on to so much. Hollow holds, I tried to focus on keeping the core tight, and retracing my upper back muscles as if I was hanging from a bar. I gave myself time to rest between sets and exercises as needed. 

 

I did the wall slides against the wall. My right arm can not get anywhere close to the wall anymore :( It feel like my bicep is going to rip off the harder I try to push back. If I hold out my arm straight, I can get pretty close to the wall. It's only when I bend it upwards when it really hurts. My arm went to busted mode back when the quarantine started up. Don't know if it happened right as bowling closed down or what. It use to hurt much worse. I worry my arm is as healed up as it is going to be. I've been thinking of looking into some flexibility exercises or stretches to see if I can get my right arm back where it was. I know that some of the stuff in DDP Yoga has help some of the old wrestlers (and others) get back mobility. I don't think it will happen super fast, but maybe I can start focusing it to see if I can get something back.

11 hours ago, Waanie said:

This is a good idea :). When I'm working at home, I often make a pot of tea, which counts for going downstairs at least twice per pot. Your marks idea does have less side-effects caffeine-wise though ;). When you feel the marks become too easy, you can even sneak in a wall-push up or squat that way.

Yeah, I was thinking similar. Get use to getting marks in, then start getting some add ins. Though, I might try adding in actual walks next week too. Maybe I will just do both ;)

 

12 hours ago, Waanie said:

Or... a book! It would be very cool if you can do your workout though :).

For sure reading could be done as well. :) It looks like my wife has to check in way early. Like an 1 1/2 hours before the procedure is suppose to start. She is going to ask them if I have to stay out there, or can I leave and come back. If I can leave, then I think I will come back home (only like 5 minutes). Then I can get my kid setup for his school. Plus do all my other chores, and maybe workout too. 

 

Will be playing it all on the fly.

 

Week 3 Day 3 summary:

 

Sleep:

QpFmOwp.jpg

Fitbit tracked 11:51 PM to 7:58 AM. Scored 88. A little trouble getting to sleep, then I woke up. I got off and read, and went to bed on time. I did however use my phone. I couldn't help it. I took a little bit of video, and used night shot to take a picture. 

 

I walked in my room to go to sleep, and my youngest cat Sharkie was watching TV haha. It was like aww tv or whatever came on while the wife was asleep. Sharkie was totally into it though haha.

 

Food:

NiqoKYD.jpg

Did well here too. Calories were lower, but it's fine. Net carbs in control too.

 

Exercise:

I did in fact workout. I also got 5 marks on my white board too.

 

3 rounds:

10 (5 each leg) Assisted lunges.

5 inch worms (yup, still hate these)

10 arm swing bowling drill

20 seconds hollow hold on the ground

10 Wall slides against the wall. 

20 second plank

 

Chores:

Done and done. I think Friday I am going to take a piece of the big clean, so it isn't super overwhelming for the wife and I.

 

So good day overall. Slightly sore today, but nothing too bad. I've gotten chores done today, and the kids school supplies from his teacher. So just my marks to get, food, and sleep for the rest of the day :)

 

 

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On 9/29/2020 at 5:36 PM, Tateman said:

I think I am going to read The Lord of the Rings books I have

Excellent choice!

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for...

Current: RES: it's all routine

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Busy day.

 

Wife had her procedure today. It was just the first step I guess, so more to come.  I forgot we were getting up early. I guess I didn't want to set myself up for success today, because I didn't read last night. I was in the middle of messing with my Pokemon Home, and something in me just had to finish what I was doing. I did get to bed on time though. Didn't sleep that great, but ok. A few wake ups, and being a little nervous for what is happening to my wife. Plus some thoughts about my brother. Sister in law messaged my wife to see if we could just head down and stay with her mother. Like WTF are we suppose to do? My brother had yet another post on facebook, and people were telling him all the same things I have said. It's 100% up to my brother as to what he is going to do. I can't make him do anything.

 

Anyhow...  After I dropped the wife off, I was able to come home. I finished chores and got my kid all setup for school. I could have started my workout, but I didn't know when they would call to pick up the wife. (I totally could have done it) Plan is, I get it done tonight before reading. I'm not dreading it, so I am setting a reminder alarm ;)  I'm tired, but feeling ok. I need to get 3 more marks on my white board. I could count that I was out and about, but I don't want too.

 

Sleep:

2hsnx2u.jpg

Fitbit tracked 11:55 PM to 6:06 AM. Scored 81. I feel like I do indeed need more sleep. Hopefully, tonight it will come easy :D Bed on time, but did not read. BOO!!! ;)

 

Food:

MsNu8wT.jpg

Good here.

 

Chores and rest day for exercise done. I did get my 5 marks on the white board.

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